


The Chocolate Cake Analogy

by CaitClandestine



Category: All Time Low, Pierce the Veil
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-08
Updated: 2017-02-16
Packaged: 2018-03-11 03:01:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 128
Words: 175,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3311465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaitClandestine/pseuds/CaitClandestine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack starts a new school, Alex has diabetes and Rian and Zack are deeply in love all with a side of chocolate cake.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> I have tried my best to maintain an overall sense of accuracy but since Google has been my main source of information if you come across an impossible flaw please let me know and i'll make any necessary amends. 
> 
> Thanks! :)

Jack hates his mom. Well no, that's a lie. He just thoroughly dislikes her in this moment. He's fine with them moving states, all the way from South Carolina to Baltimore, Maryland. His mom deserves this fresh start, an opportunity to start over.

He just doesn't understand why the house they've moved into is only three blocks from the high school he'll be attending.

“So you can easily walk there and you'll be able to invite your friends over!” His mom says when questioned.

Because of course, Jacks' mom is one of those eternally optimistic people who think that he'll just waltz into his new school and return the same afternoon with a new best friend, only helped by his close proximity to said school.

See the thing is, Jacks' never, ever been a new kid. He's from a small town whose high school boasted a little over 50 kids.  
According to the enrolment brochure, Baltimore Heights has at least 800.

He kind of hopes he'll blend in straight away, but all the movies he's seen point to a long period of personal embarassment before everyone forgets who he is. (Or he gets with the hottest girl in school, it depends on the movie.)

Clutching his skateboard a little more tightly (He doesn't really fit in with skater kids, but goddammit he's going to try), he approaches the huge sandstone building proudly proclaiming it's status as his school.

It's early, but that's kind of the point. Get in early, get everything he needs and try to find his locker and first class before everyone turns up.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Across town, an alarm set to go at precisely 8.18am blares out the opening strains of Blink 182s' Dammit. Alex curses, muffled only by the fact that he's currently attempting to smother himself with his quilt. Most mornings he can appreciate the brilliance that is Blink, but it's Monday. There is nothing to be appreciated about Mondays.

Still, hiding under his quilt isn't going to make the alarm stop and it's across the room for a reason – he needs to get up. Using said quilt as a makeshift cape of warmth he makes his way to the alarm, tapping it off in a lull between sentences. He can't stand stopping songs mid word.

Returning from the bathroom, Alex reaches for his meter, wonders whether or not he can shower before breakfast or if he needs to switch it round. His morning routine is pretty dependent on whatever his blood sugar is. Hell, all of his routines are.

He tests, waits impatiently on the countdown. Shower it is.

Freshly showered, Alex heads downstairs for breakfast – hoping his father hadn't eaten the last of english muffins he'd tried to stash behind the toaster because grocery shopping isn't till Thursday. He's out of luck. Fucking Mondays.

Of course, being that it is a Monday, he can't find his shoes or his bag and he nearly misses his bus, only to be halfway to school and remember about his completed english homework sitting on the desk in the den. Alex fucking hates Mondays.

\---------------------------------------------

Having collected all those important 'new kid' pieces of paper, Jack sets about finding his locker. There's a few students milling about now and those he passes eye him curiously, but say nothing as he makes his way down the main corridor. It takes him more than a few minutes to find it, the numbers don't seem to have any discernable pattern – why is 75 next to 92?.

Dumping what he doesn't need, unfortunately his skateboard doesn't fit so he'll be carrying it around all day with him, Jack consults his schedule. First period english in room 7A. Looking up, the first room he sees is ITSC 1 and next to that PE 1. Yup, he's definitely going to need a map. A map of course, that he hadn't been given because the school was 'pretty easy to find your way around, sweetie' according the office lady. He can't even remember which way the office is.

Glancing down the hall, Jack assesses his options. He can just keep wandering around the hopes that he'll either find the office or 7A, or he can suck it up and ask someone. He figures asking someone, whilst potentially embarassing, is the quickest way to get his answer before the bell rings and the halls get swamped with kids who know where they're going.

There's a few groups of girls involved in giggly, whispered conversations he bypasses – he can see three guys down the end of the hall that seem somewhat approachable.

As gets closer, he can see one of them nudge the other and gesture towards him and then all three of them are watching. Jack pauses awkwardly a few feet from them, considering.

“You look a bit lost there, you a new kid or what?” One of them says. The most attractive one Jack thinks, all soft fringe and big brown eyes with legs that go on forever.

“Uhm y-yeah, I think I might need a map or something but I can't find my way back to the office” Jack doesn't stumble over his words, he doesn't.

One of the other kids, tall and built with a mop of curly hair snorts in an undignified manner.

“Don't think a map is gonna help you too much, this place is pretty much Hogwarts”

Attractive kid and shaved head kid laugh, and Jack manages a hesitant smile, not sure where this is going.

“We can like, take you to the office and show you around a bit after if you like” Attractive guy says, “My names Alex by the way, and this is Zack and Rian”.  
He sticks a hand (Such a pretty, pretty hand) out for Jack to shake and Jack does, wondering if attractive guy – Alex, notices how gross and sweaty his hand is. He hopes not.

“I'm uh, Jack, and that'd be really great if you guys would uh, want to?” It comes out more like a question and Jack's horrified by the fact that he can't even form a proper fucking sentence.

“Sure thing man” shaved head kid – (Rian, his brain corrects) says, “If it gets us out of class for a bit, we're cool – right Zack?”

He gets a soft smile and nod from Zack, “Sounds good to me” 

As they head toward the office, Zack and Rian walk ahead and Alex steps into stride with Jack.

“So Jack, where're you from?” He asks.

“South Carolina, just moved here for a bit of a change you know, I think theres more people in this school than our entire town” Jack jokes, hoping he can redeem how awkward he's just been.

Thankfully, Alex huffs out a soft laugh and then promptly walks straight into Rians back. Apparently they've reached the office and Jack hadn't been paying attention in the slightest.

“Dude, will you watch where you're going for once” Rian says.

Alex looks indignant for a moment. “Why don't you watch where you're parking that fat ass of yours Rian” he retorts, “Anywhere Jack, here we are, the office. Place of wonder and mystique”

A womans head appears in the glass window that separates them from the office itself.

“Alexander, to what do I owe the pleasure of seeing your face at this hour?” She asks, pursing her lips. Alex pokes Jack in the side and stage whispers “This is our hottest office lady Rhonda, I think she likes me” He winks, and steps up to the window.

“Well Rhonda, apparently you didn't give Jack here a map and we found him wandering the halls like a lost puppy and we can't have that now can we?”

Rhonda turns to him “I'd warn you away from this one” She gestures to Alex “But it seems like it's already too late – just hold on a moment and i'll get you a map, i'm not sure why Katie didn't”

Map in hand, Jack turns to ask Alex if he's got any idea where 7A might be when the bell rings. Suddenly the halls are filled with a cacophony of noise and students and Jack's pretty sure he's never seen so many people in one place.

“Whoa” He breathes.

Zack claps him on the back. “Welcome to the jungle, country boy”.


	2. Chapter 2

Alex is so fucked. This new kid, Jack, is really freaking attractive. And he's adorably awkward. And funny. And Alex so cannot deal with this right now, he doesn't do crushes or relationships or any of that. There's only so many times you can be called high maintenance before you stop trying. His body's always going to more important than having someone to snuggle with at night, no matter how cute they are.

But anyway, back to Jack. They had eventually made their way to english, one of what turned out be many of the classes they shared except math. Jack was either super smart or crazy for taking on Advanced Math and Alex was leaning towards the latter.

Rian and Zack had been pretty accepting of him, and Zack had immediately claimed a spot (Alexs' spot, goddammit) next to Jack so they could discuss their favourite skateboarders.

Lunch had been a bit hard to wrangle. Alex isn't ashamed or embarassed by the fact that he's diabetic, but just for a while he'd like to pretend that he's normal. Have Jack think he's normal. He's lived here all his life and the pretty much the entire school had seen him pass out that one time during band, so the opportunity to hide it from someone was a novelty he wanted to hold onto for a while.

So of course, that had meant multiple trips to the bathroom or sketchy corners of the school to test and bolus and thankfully, Rian and Zack are willing to indulge him, one of them staying back with him and the other going with Jack to 'save our spot' or 'show you this awesome thing'. Alex loves his friends.

He knows though, that eventually this gig will be up and Jack will find out, but for now he's content to be Alex, kid who is perpetually late to lunch.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Alex man, wait up would you you know this thing is fucking heavy!” Zack, for some reason Alex cannot fathom, plays cello in the school band. He could play bass, can play it well, but no. His parents would much prefer a 'classical' instrument and Zack seems plenty okay with that.

Beyond guitar, the only instrument Alex can wrangle is the glockenspiel. His glockenspiel skills are awesome.

“If you could just play a normal sized violin you wouldn't have to carry that huge case around” He says, just to get a rise out of Zack.

Predicably, Zacks' head snaps up “For the last time Alex, a cello is not a giant violin!”

“Now now ladies, lets not make a scene” Rian appears behind them, twirling his drumsticks – at least he plays a proper instrument. “We wouldn't want to scare Jack out of auditioning today”

If Alexs' ears could perk up, they would. Jack trying out for band? Alex hopes he doesn't play something ridiculous like the french horn because he's not sure how that would impact his crush status. Actually, it could be a good thing – Alex's not sure he could date someone who plays any sort of horn.

“I didn't know Jack played an instrument” He says. “Where is he, anyway?”

Rian shrugs. “I dunno, he's usually here pretty early but I didn't pass him on my way up here – maybe he's already in the practice room?”

It seems unlikely, Alex thinks, considering that even though Jack does have a map, he's shit with directions and since the practice rooms are in a new block, they're not even on the map. He figures he should probably go on a Jack search.

“Can you hold this for a second while I tie my shoe” He says to Rian, shoving his guitar case into his hands. “I'll go find Jack”

“Sure thi- Hey wait, no. Alex you asshole i'll leave your guitar here you prick!” Rian calls after him. Alex knows that Rian isn't going to follow through with his threat, he never does.

It's the way they work. Zack drags his cello and Rian caries his guitar while Alex gets to attempt awesome things with Rians drumsticks.

Heading down the hall, Alex sets about finding Jack.

The halls are pretty busy at this time, it's just a few minutes before first bell and everyone's by their lockers, either frantically looking for something or having a nice old chat with their friends. Which is lovely, but they're taking up the whole damn hall.

Fortunately, Alex is a tall guy so he can sort of see over their heads – can see what is probably Jack's 'It's Jack Skellington, cause we're both named Jack!' beanie about halfway down through the mass of people.

Navigating his way through the crowd, Alex finally makes it Jack, who's clutching a guitar case (Score! Hopefully theres a guitar in there, and not a horn) and looking just as lost as he did the day before.

“Lost again, Jack?” He says, and Jack jumps, not expecting him.

“This seems like to could become a trend in my life” Jack says, “I'm looking for the practice rooms -he lifts his guitar case- though i'd try out”

“Please tell me there's an actual guitar in there and not a french horn or something” Alex blurts, he needs to know and he needs to know right now.

Jack laughs, “Of course there is, what the fuck would I have a horn in there for? Would it even fit?”

Alex laughs too.

“You know never know, Zack plays the cello for christ sake, you could be part of the ridiculous instrument society right along with him”

“I promise it's just my guitar, i'll prove it when we get there – you are going to show me right? And not leave me here to be absorbed into the masses?”

The bell rings, and for a brief moment, the entire hall is creepily silent before it erupts into noise again, people pushing past them to get to class.

Grabbing Jacks' hand to make sure he doesn't get lost, and “Don't let go dude, you'll get sucked away”, Alex leads hims through the swarm to the practice rooms.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jack's nervous. Really, really nervous. He's just entered the band room where Alex had let go of his hand (He'd been holding Alexs' hand!) and now everyone's staring at him.

He coughs awkwardly and looks toward what he presumes is the teacher, a fifty something man with dusty grey beard.

“Uh, hi, i'm here to try out?” And really, Jack has got to stop making his sentences sound like questions.

“Jack plays guitar!” Alex chips in, despite the fact that obviously, he's holding a guitar case – what else would he be playing?


	3. Chapter 3

A week later (He had made it into band, and been able to assure Alex that under no circumstances would he take up any sort of horn), Jack's sitting at the lunch table, his lunch table, he thinks – with Rian and Zack and Alex. Wonderful, gorgeous Alex.

Because he's a clumsy fucker, he's managed to drop half of his sandwich under the table. In his mind, he can hear his mothers voice “Jack Barakat, you pick that sandwich up right this instant don't you dare leave it there!” He sticks his head under the table to locate it. And. Rian and Zack are holding hands. Jack pauses. He's not sure what the protocol for this situation is. Does he pretend he doesn't know? Probably.

Jack doesn't do protocol. Plonking his sandwich back on the table, he comes right out with it.

“Rian, are you holding hands with Zack under the table?” He makes it a question, he doesn't want to accuse them of anything – what if their hands had just been really close?

The response is immediate. Alexs' head jerks up from his rice, Rians' eyes narrow and he seems to press Zack behind him and when he speaks it's with a vicious snarl.

“Maybe we fucking are, you got a problem with that Barakat?”

Jack's kind of taken aback by Rian's tone and he stumbles over his words in an effort to tell them he doesn't care, really he doesn't.

“I-I-I don't have a problem with it I swear, it's just my sandwich and I was down there and your hands were down there, and it's fine really!” Jacks' voice reaches an embarrassingly high pitch.

“I don't care, really, you guys can do whatever it's actually kind of sweet and oh god I can't believe I just said that! I'm sorry!”

Jack's fully expecting to be evicted from their table, physically even.

But Rian just lets his eyes bore into Jacks for a long moment before he sighs.

“So if me and Zack were together, that wouldn't bother you at all?” He sounds dubious, and Jack figures he's got a right to be – not everyone is particularly accommodating about this sort of thing.

“I really don't care. Well I do care, I want you guys to be happy if you're together but I don't care that you're together-together”

Alex snorts and Rian gives him a 'Dude, we're being serious here' look.

“You can totally hold hands on the top of the table if you want” Jack adds. In for a penny, in for a pound they say.

Surprisingly, it's Zack who makes the first move. Resting his hand on the tabletop for Rian to take, giving Jack a small nod. Rian takes his hand.

The world seems to return to normal speed then. Jack can hear his fellow students, the scraping of chairs and a plane going by. Alex goes back to his rice, and Zack and Rian have a sandwich and packet of chips respectively, which they're trying to eat with one hand each.

Jack goes back to his remaining half a sandwich.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Alex wakes in the night with a killer headache and the feeling of some poor furry creature having died in his mouth the only correct response is a long, drawn out appropriation of fuck. It's hard to pronounce stuff when your tongue is stuck to roof of your mouth by some invisible thread. He's low. Awesome.

Sticking his hand out from under the covers, he fumbles on the beside table for his meter. Whilst the logical part of his brain saying 'Alex you're low, you know you're low, get up and drink some juice you moron', the other side is demanding he tests his blood sugar first. 'Just to be sure' he reasons.

The light from said meter is blinding in the darkness, and Alex makes a mental note to change the screen brightness in the morning, even though the chance of him actually remembering is slim.

His meter beeps, and a ridiculous low appears. He's not even surprised.

The doctors and his mum assure him it's just that he's a 'growing boy' with 'lots of hormones', but really all it means is that sometimes, no matter what he eats and no matter how well he balances it all out, everything goes to shit.

He hadn't had anything unusual for dinner, it's not like he'd eaten an entire freaking chocolate cake or something. Just normal dinner stuff, with a scoop of ice cream on a wafer biscuit for dessert and he'd adjusted his insulin accordingly. But still, he's paying for it now.

Shuffling himself a little closer to the edge of the bed, Alex slides open the top draw of his bedside table – he knows he's got juice boxes in there somewhere, if he could just stretch his arm enough to find them without sitting up.

Thankfully, he finds one, stabbing the straw into the box with a satisfying 'shunk'. At this moment, warm apple juice is Alex's favourite thing in the whole world.

He drinks the whole thing and waits the requisite five minutes or so before he tests again. He's happy enough with the 82 that he sees – hopes it'll buy him a few more hours of sleep before he has to get up and make himself something proper to eat without waking his parents before they get up for work. Provided he's not totally out of it, Alex is completely capable of making his own sandwiches.

He reaches for his phone, sets an alarm for three hours from now (Making it the ungodly hour of 5am), shoves it under his pillow and snuggles back into his doona. He wants every minute of those three hours.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------

In a bed across town, Jack sleeps peacefully and uninterrupted.


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning Alex is in a terrible mood. He'd gotten his three hours, but it sure doesn't feel like it. When his parents had woken at six he'd had breakfast with them, assuring them that yes, he's fine, his blood sugars fine and everything else is just fine. It's not enough of a lie that he feels bad about it.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Jack, get your ass up or you're going to be late!” His mother calls from downstairs. Jack groans and rolls to the other side of his bed. He doesn't want to get up – it's just a little cool outside for his liking.

A few minutes pass, and Jack can hear his mothers footsteps on the stairs. She doesn't bother to knock, just waltzes into his room and goes straight to open the blinds.

“Mo-om!” He whines, the sun is way too bright right now.

“Well, hurry up and get up then – i've made some cookies for you to take to share with your friends”

Jack regrets telling his mom about the guys. (Also, so far their friendship hasn't been impacted by how close he lives to the school). She thinks it's wonderful that 'You've made not one friend, but three! I'm so proud of you!'. And really, cookies? What is this – third grade?

Not that Jacks' mom doesn't make excellent cookies. They are undeniably delicious. He's just not sure how the guys are gonna react to him turning up with a tupperware container full of cookies to share.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cookies in his bag, Jack arrives at school pretty damn cheerful, despite the fact that it's only autumn and he's freezing. His old town never got this cold.

Heading down the hall to his locker, he spots Alex.

“Good morning Alexanderrrr” He greets.

Alex mumbles something that might be good morning. That's weird. Usually Alex is the first to have a ridiculous reply about how lovely the weather is and isn't life just splendid. Instead, he's got his head down, hands jammed into the pockets of his hoodie. Jack isn't sure what to do with this Alex.

“Are you um, are you okay?” He asks. He thinks better it's ask than to not ask, if Alex doesn't want to talk that's fine, Jack just needs to know where he stands.

“I'm fine. Can we just go to class?”

Jack decides to let it go, for now.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rocking up to lunch with his container of cookies isn't as weird as Jack thought. He decides to own the fact that is mom is awesome enough to share her baking prowess with them. Maybe a cookie will lighten Alex up a bit.

He pulls the container out of his bag and sets it on the table.

“What have you got in there dude?” Rian questions.

“Well, don't laugh - but my mom make cookies for everyone – they're choc chip and macadamia”

Zack appears by his side. “Did I hear the words cookie and macadamia?”

Rian laughs, “Zack is like, addicted to anything with macadamias in it, I think it's safe to say we'll help take them off your hands.”

Jack cracks open the lid and hold the container up to Zack. “Knock yourself out, theres enough in here for a whole class i'm sure”

He shuffles the container towards Alex. “Cookie?”

“No thanks, i'm not really hungry” He says.

“But they're really awesome, you sure you don't want to try one?”

“Jack, I don't want a cookie. Maybe another day if doesn't Zack eat them all, okay?” and Alex is trying to be nice here, really he is. The cookies do look delicious, and any other day but today he'd be all over them – he can't risk them messing him up for a second night. He needs his sleep.

“Are you totally sure you don't want a cookie Alex? They really are great, I swear. My moms really good at baking stuff”

Alex can feel what began as a minor irritation slip into actual anger. He stands up and slams his hands down on the table.

“If I had wanted a fucking cookie I would said yes the first time you bloody asked! I don't want one and i'm not going to want one so you can just shut the fuck up and leave it alone!”

He slides his chair back with a loud scrape, and stalks from the table. He needs to be away from everyone right now.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jacks not sure what just happened. Okay, maybe he knew that Alex wasn't in the best of moods, but to be so angry over a cookie? Jack can't imagine why.

Except that maybe he can. His mind clicks through the little he does know about Alex - his lunch is always neatly packed into separate containers and it's always crazy healthy; salads and pasta and fruit. He knows that Alex is a pretty skinny guy, but it hasn't ever occurred to him that there might be something wrong.

He feels like a complete and utter asshole.

He turns to Rian and Zack, who are still sitting silenty in their seats.

“I didn't mean to offend him, I swear!”

Rian gives him a curious look. “He's just in a bad mood, he didn't get much sleep last night. How do you think you offended him with a cookie?”

“I shouldn't have offered him a cookie in the first place, I didn't mean to be so insenstitive!”

“Jack” Zack says, “What exactly do you think just happened?”

Jack pauses. He guesses they hadn't counted on him realising that Alex is obviously coming back from an eating disorder. Honestly, Jack can't believe he hadn't noticed sooner.

“Alex, he had an eating disorder right? I mean, that's why he's so skinny and his lunch is always so organised – he's trying to get better? And he couldn't deal with the cookie?”

Rian and Zack give him what could qualify as baffled expressions.

“Is that what Alex told you?” Rians voice is soft, like he's not sure what he's hearing.

“Well no, but it's easy to see that's whats happened.”

Rian turns to Zack, “Babe, can you get Alex's stuff and see if you can track him down? Jack and I need to have a chat”

“Sure thing.” Zack starts putting Alexs' lunchbox back into his bag.

“Jack” Rian begins, “Alex doesn't have an eating disorder, and he's never had one”

Jack can physically feel the heat rising in his cheeks. He'd been so sure that was the issue. Maybe Alex has done a really, really good job of keeping it away from his friends.

“Are you sure, I mean he's so skinny and his lunch....” He trails off, not sure how to justify his accusation now that it's been shot down so directly.

“I'm sure. Alexs' always been a skinny ass freak like yourself, does that mean you don't eat?”

“I guess not” Jack concedes, he's not exactly the embodiment of a perfect weight either, despite the stupid amount of food he eats.

“As for his lunch, Alex has always, always been anal about it. That's just who he is, he likes to eat healthy and he really likes those little coloured lunch box tags."

Jack is so embarrassed right now. Not only did he make a reasonably unfounded accusation, he did it to Alexs' best friend. Of course Rian would know what's going on.

“So he's just having a bad day – thats why he screamed at me over a cookie?”

Rian smiles at him, “I never said Alex couldn't be an overdramatic ass sometimes, but you don't have to worry about him like that, he's fine. Just maybe if he says no next time, don't push it”

Rian moves to get up from the table. “C'mon, we'd better go and see if they've beaten us to class.”

Jack needs to say something, Make some sort of apology.

“Rian I uh, I didn't mean to interfere in you guy's business or anything I just wa-”

“Jack, it's fine – it's nice to know you're just as protective of Alex as the rest of us.”

Jack feels a little better after that.


	5. Chapter 5

Letting the door click shut behind him as he makes his way into Alex's room, Rian knows he has to play this right, doesn't want to push Alex away like he's done before. This isn't Alex's fault, but he needs to stand up and set things straight.

Jack's a nice guy, a really nice guy who makes doe eyes at Alex whenever he thinks no ones looking. Alex deserves to have someone look at him like that.  
If he can get them on the same page, he thinks they've got a chance.

He sighs, and pats the spot next to him on Alex's bed.

“We need to have a bit of a talk.”

Alexs eyes flicker up to meet his briefly, before shifting away.

“Theres nothing to talk about.”

Great. The old 'I'm going to brick wall this conversation no matter where you try to take it' technique. It's one of Alex's favourites.

“There is and you know it, there was no reason for you to treat Jack like that”

“I didn't treat Jack like anything.”

“That's exactly the point, you just up and went off at him because of how you felt, like he just some random nobody you'd never met before. You know Jack's more than that, whether you want to admit it or not. And even if you don't, he didn't fucking deserve it and you know it – he was being nice. Maybe a little overly persistant, but his heart was in the right place.”

And okay, it's a task for Rian to keep his voice low and soft, he wants to raise it and let himself be properly angry at Alex – but it'll only make him close himself off more, make him more desperate to hide this part of himself. He just wants Alex to understand.

Alex is silent, fingers threading through a hole in his jeans.

“For fucks sake Alex, he thought you had an eating disorder and the cookie might just push you off the wagon. He was so upset, can't you see that he actually cares about you?”

Alexs fingers stop moving. “He..he really thought that?”

In his head, he can't picture Jack being so concerned, but it's too crazy to just be a story Rian's made up to make him feel bad. But, if Jack was worried about him not eating a cookie, he can't imagine what he'll be like when he knows why – he'll always be watching over Alex's shoulder, he's sure. He couldn't handle that.

“I can't tell him Rian, I just can't.”

Rian sighs, he's been told patience is a virtue.

“I know you don't want to tell him, but i'm not going to help you hide it anymore – I'm not gonna rat you out, but Alex, you can't keep doing this to yourself. You're so stressed out from hiding this from Jack that you're missing out on all the good things.”

“But Ri-”

“But nothing. You know me and Zack are always there if you need us, but from now on we're going to lunch together, with or without you.”

The thing is, Alex knows he's beat. He's been friends with Rian long enough that the kids sense of right and wrong has rubbed off on him. He knows he can't keep hiding this (And even if he could, he's going to lose all those extra hoodie pockets he stores stuff in come summer) and maybe this time, it's more trouble than it's worth.

At the very least, he needs to apologise for being a dick to Jack over a cookie.

“What if I just apologise for being an asshole?”

“That's a start, but i'm still done with covering for you.” Rian needs to hold his ground this time, Alex isn't going to be able to sweet-talk his way out of this one like he usually does.

Drawing his knees up to his chest, Alex ponders his fate. What if Jack doesn't want to be his friend anymore? What if he's afraid of needles or something? He's not sure what he'd do if that happened, doesn't think Jack would even be able to stand being near him and maybe that's what he's really afraid of.

That the gorgeous boy he has a crush on will think he's a freak.

“What if I tell him and he doesn't want to be friends anymore?” He whispers.

Rian sighs, and shifts to put his arm around Alex, cuddle him across his lap. The real problem here is that Alex, for all his dick jokes and outward confidence, is the most insecure person Rian's ever met.

“Alex, if he doesn't want to be friends with you then he's been hiding who he really is this whole time, and none of us needs a friend like that.”

Theres a breath of silence, then “And yes, we could get Zack to punch him if you wanted.”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day, Alex catches an earlier bus to school. Jack has this weird habit of always being there abnormally early, god knows what he does because it sure as hell isn't anything productive.

He's going to tell Jack the truth, he really is. He's practiced saying it, has even written detailed notes. 'Jack' He's going to say 'I'm sorry I yelled at you over a cookie, i'm diabetic and I had a shitty night and it wasn't your fault but if you want to sit down I can explain'

What comes out of his mouth is “I'm sorry about the cookie i'm a robot!”

Jacks eyes actually widen almost comically. “Uhm, what?”

He knows that Rian would have persuaded Alex into an apology willing or not, but he's pretty sure robots were not involved at any point.

Alex tries to backtrack, that was not part of his notes at all.

“Fuck, I meant i'm sorry about yesterday i'd didn't get much sleep the night before, and uh, I think I might have watched too many Terminator movies last night, I have no idea why i'm a robot but anyway i'm sorry for being a prick”

He tries to laugh it off, hopes Jack isn't familiar enough with his brand of storytelling to tell that it's all complete and utter bullshit.

It's the most unconventional apology Jacks ever gotten, but he'll take it.

“It's fine Alex, really. Apology accepted. Would you like a hug or something?, you're really tense”

He holds out his arms, lets Alex step into them for brief moment (And he's barely shorter than Jack but he seems so tiny) before letting go. Don't get too attached Barakat, he doesn't want to snuggle you in the hallway.

Alex just hugged him, willingly!

If all he'd had to do to get an Alex hug was ask, well, Jack wishes he'd asked sooner.


	6. Chapter 6

Okay, so he didn't tell Jack. He could've so easily, but no, he made up some stupid story about watching Terminator. Though, he's pretty sure “I'm a robot!” isn't anyones idea of a great introduction into the long story that is him and his insulin pump, so maybe it's for the best.

Jack had offered him a hug though, which was simultaneously awesome and terrible. It had only been a short hug, but Jack had felt so very safe, and if Alex loses him after this, he'll only know what could've been.

He picks a weekend when he knows his parents are taking a trip – His mothers quite the business woman, and his fathers tagging along for a bit of a holiday when she's done. Really, he knows that his parents are going to a hotel to do it where he can't hear them but he's trying to block it out of his mind.

He figures if he's in his own house, he might have the upper hand. At least if Jack leaves him, he won't have to walk very far to his room.

He tests and makes breakfast but doesn't eat it, too nervous and jittery and part of him wants to call Zack and have him be here like some sort of security – but he needs to do this on his own.

Jack said he'd be there around eleven, and it's only ten now. Alex eats his now soggy cereal, and re-sorts the neatly printed pages he's got for Jack. He hopes that he can do some of the explaining, and leave the internets widsom for Jack to read if he wants. Part of him would much prefer to just stick a hand through the door, shove the papers at Jack and slam it shut again.

The other part of him wants Jack to see everything from his perspective. That it isn't just rows of numbers and statistics and mechanics. That he's a real person.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jack's kind of nervous. He's never been to Alex's house before, thinks it's like a brand new level of friendship he's reached, he's unlocked something, and his prize is going to hang with Alex. Which is yanno, a damn good prize for anything.

Except, Alex hadn't really seemed excited. It'd been a kind of lackluster invitation really, a simple 'You wanna come over on Saturday?' It's almost like Alex had been wanting him to say no, and that's enough for Jack to say yes.

It takes him a while to find Alex's house amongst row upon row of white picket fences and brick homes with manicured lawns. A perfect street for a perfect boy.

He rings the doorbell – an honest to god actual bell, this part of town is like freaking magazine cover.

He can hear footsteps and then Alex opens the door, a hesitant smile on his face.

“Hey Jack, come on in.”

And this, Alex thinks, is it.

He leads Jack into the living room, figures that he can try and hide between the couch cushions.

“Dude, you're making me nervous is everything alright? You're not secretly a serial killer leading me to your basement are you?” Jack asks.

Alex snorts. “I'll have you know our basement has carpet and I wouldn't want to get your blood all over it, we're going to the bathroom, it's tiled”

“I appreciate your dedication to a clean home.”

Alex plops himself down on the couch and Jack follows suit, leaves a cushion space between them. He notices a neat stack of papers resting on the table, wonders if Alex is going to give him some kind of friendship test.

“So.” Alex begins, despite how many times he's rehearsed for this moment his mind has gone completely blank.

“I kind of have something to tell you, and it's kind of important.”

The words are tentative, but Alex is determined to push through.

“You don't have to say anything, and you can leave whenever you want I guess”

“Alex-” Jack starts, but Alex raises a hand to shush him.

“Just listen for a minute, okay?”

“I probably should've just told you from the start, but it was nice to have someone not know at first, but Rian keeps telling me that i've turned into more of a whiny bitch than usual and it's probably because i'm so paranoid about you knowing”

Alex takes a deep breath. He can do this.

“I guess uh, do you know what diabetes is?”

And that's not what Jack was expecting at all. He racks his brain, and whilst it seems like something he's probably seen on the news a time or two, it doesn't really click.

“Isn't that something to do with not eating sugar?” Is the best he can come up with, thinks he saw something about it on the Discovery Channel.

“Sort of yeah. Theres two kinds, but I got extra lucky and when I was eight my pancreas gave up the ghost” Alex sort of huffs a laugh, he's not sure what else to do.

“Your what? I might not have been paying attention when we did parts of the body”

It's true, thirteen year old Jack didn't care about the intestines or the heart or muscles, he knew where his dick was and that's all that mattered.

“It's cool, most people don't know they have one either. It's like, this squishy yellow organ that processes all the sugar in food into energy. Obviously, mine doesn't make the stuff to do that, called insulin, so I have to inject it and watch what I eat to balance everything out. Theres lots of math.”

It's a shitty explaination, he knows, but he figures it'll do. If Jack hangs around, he's got his notes, and hell, Rian is always better at putting everything into proper words and cohesive sentences anyway.

Jack processes this new information in silence. There really is something wrong with Alex. Fucking Rian and his 'Alex just likes coloured lunch box lids', more like Alex probably has to know exactly whats in there down the the last freaking inch. This definitely explains the cookie incident.

“Basically, the idea is that I test my blood sugar with this -” He brandishes his meter, watches Jack eye it curiously. “and I used to just do injections everyday, but then my parents managed to get me properly on their insurance, so instead of the injections everyday, i've got a pump that i've only got to mess with once a week or so.”

That's it really. Alex isn't sure what else to say. He shifts awkwardly on the couch, watching Jack out the corner of his eye.

“A pump? Like it's actually attached to you?” Jack is having trouble picturing this. Alex doesn't look sick in the slightest, and the idea of him being pretty much permanently tied to some machine that Jack can't ever recall noticing is kind of weird.

“Yeah, i'm sort of like a robot. I could show you, if you want?”

Jack nods.

Alex hesitantly reaches to unzip his hoodie, pulls it away from his body and flicks up his shirt a little, conscious of the way his pumps clipped neatly on the belt loop of his jeans. He can feel Jack staring.

It's fucking weird, Jack thinks. It's just like one of those old school pagers except theres a tube and it's connected to his new best friend. He doesn't quite know what to say.

“Can I?” Jack reaches a hand toward it, not sure if Alex is going to be okay with Jack invading his personal space right now. He seems pretty worked up.

“Uhm, sure” Alex says. He slides his pump off his belt loop, holds it hesitantly out to Jack, who takes it from him. Careful not to pull, Jack rolls the device over in his hands. It's suprisingly light for something that's essentially keeping Alex alive.

“You're, you're gonna be okay right?” Jack finds himself asking, because the reality of what Alex has said is kind of sinking in, the little he does understand. He's just found Alex, doesn't want to lose him.

“Jack, i'm fine. I'll be like this for the rest of my life, but it doesn't get any worse or anything. This is me though.”

“You could've told me sooner.” Really, Jack doesn't understand why Alex has been determined to keep this from him. It's not such a big deal.

“I just...I didn't want you to hate me?”

“Alex, why on earth would you think that? How I could I hate you? There's nothing to hate. Maybe I could hate the fact that you have to deal with this, but it'd never be about hating you.”

Jack is baffled. This shy, insecure Alex isn't one he's familiar with. Honestly, he doesn't know what to do. He passes Alex back his pump, watches as he slides it into the front pocket of his hoodie, fingers curled in his lap.

They sit quietly for a few minutes, silence only broken by the fact that Jack can hear Alex breathing, all quick and rough and terrified. Jack doesn't have the words to comfort him, he doesn't know whats wrong. 

He reaches for Alex then, slow, deliberate movements. Pulls Alex against him, beautiful, tiny Alex.

“It's okay” He says, lets his hands wrap around Alex's middle when he doesn't fight back. “You're okay.”

Alex makes this tiny noise then, something of a broken whimper. “I'm sorry.” He whispers.

He hadn't planned to end their conversation this way, barely able to breathe and probably freaking Jack the fuck out. But he can't stop himself. He lets Jack hold him for minutes that seem to stretch into hours, knows he should let go and get up but he can't. Jack is a safe place, and his body won't let him leave.


	7. Chapter 7

Jack holds Alex for a long while, till his breathing evens out and he relaxes properly against Jacks chest. He's not sure what he's supposed to do. Does he try and get Alex to talk about whatever is obviously bothering him? Or does he wait for Alex to come to him? He's pretty sure most peoples conversations about medical conditions don't end in some sort of emotional freakout.

He's wondering if he needs to wait for Alex to get off him or if it's okay for him to move, when he hears the front door open. Fuck. What if it's Alexs parents? How the hell is he going to explain why he's holding their son on the couch?

“Alex?” A voice calls, it's Rian.

“Alex, you here?” Rian comes around the corner then, Zack following and Jack does his best to school his expression to careful nonchalance. Nothing weird going on here, certainly not Alex having a freakout that he might've caused. Just two friends on a couch.

They seem surprised to see him, Jack notes. Alex lifts his head off Jacks chest and seems to stare at his friends with a careful intensity.

“Alex, why don't you come into the kitchen and we'll do lunch?” Zack says, and it's not a suggestion. Alex shuffles off of Jack and follows obediently, doesn't turn around and look at Jack as he walks away, no matter how much he wants to.

In the kitchen, Zack pulls out a chair and pushes him into it, rummaging through the cabinets and pulling out ingredients for peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

“You butter, i'll spread.”

“Zack-” He starts, but Zack holds up his hand.

“Just worry about the butter, Rian'll deal with Jack.”

In the living room, Jack can feel the weight of Rians gaze.

Rians eyes flicker toward the kitchen.

“I guess you know that Alex is a bit different, in more ways than one.”

And that'd be the understatement of the year, Jack thinks.

“I know you're still here now, but if you don't think you're going to hang around, it's better if you leave. Alex can be a lot for some people and if you can't be there a hundred percent, it's better if you're not all.”

“I'm not going anywhere.” Jack says firmly, and he truly means it.

“Whatever's happened to Alex, I want to help if I can. You guys are my friends after all, and friends just don't give up on each other. Alex deserves more than that.”

Rian hums thoughtfully and then gives Jack a nod. “Alright then.”

Theres silence for a moment, before Rian speaks again.

“Wanna tell me how you and Alex ended up on the couch like that?”

“I dunno what happened really.” Jack says. “One minute he was telling me about his pump and stuff, the next he just sort of changed into this other person and I didn't know what to do but I thought maybe he could use a hug and it just sort of happened.”

“I hope that's okay.” He adds.

“Jack, it's more than okay – if Alex let you hold him, than that's a really good thing, he's not usually open to letting new people touch him when he's upset.”

Jack breathes a sigh of relief. Spooning Alex = good.

Zack and Alex come back from the kitchen then, Alex holding a plate of sandwiches and Zack with a few bottles of water. Zack stumbles a little, foot catching on the edge of a woven rug lying on the polished wood floor, and it seems to break the tension a little when everyone snickers.

They sit down, Zack next to Jack and Alex beside Rian and Jack can't help but feel like this is some sort of intervention. Except with sandwiches.

“Sandwich, Alex.” Rian says, and Jack watches as Alex sneaks out a hand from his pocket to reach for a sandwich half which he takes a bite out of, wonders why Alex is letting everyone treat him like a dog. Come, sit, eat.

“Alex can decide if he wants to eat on his own, can't he?” And Jack doesn't quite mean for his voice to come out so snappy in tone, but it does.

“Jack” Rians voice is warning him not to press the issue, but Jack can't help himself. Rian didn't just spend an hour holding Alex, he did. He thinks that should count for something.

“Seriously, how come you g-”

“Jack” This time the voice is Alexs, his brown eyes meeting Jacks own. “Rians jus' looking out for me, is all” He says quietly, and he looks so tired and worn out that Jack concedes for the moment.

“Anyway,” Zack says, reaching for a sandwich of his own. “What do we actually need to talk about here?”

Rian looks to Alex. “Jack wants to stay. So do you want to tell him or will I?”

Alex is quiet for a long moment before he says “I'll tell him.” Jack gives him a smile, hopes that'll ease Alexs nerves a little.

“I've got depression, and uhm anxiety, which I guess you saw. My brains kinda just as messed up as my body.” Alexs voice is soft, and he sounds so self-deprecating that Jack wants to reach for him across the table and never let him go.

Rian beats him to it though, lets Alex lean against him, rests a hand solidly on Alexs knee.

“It's okay if you don't want to stay.” Alex continues, “I know i'm crazy.” The last part is barely a whisper, and it's breaks Jacks heart.


	8. Chapter 8

It's a rough few days after that. Rian seems determined to shepherd Alex away from him at every opportunity and Jack can't figure out why. Wasn't everything supposed to be easier now that he'd been trusted with all this information about Alex? Does Alex regret telling him?

He's pretty sure that last week Rian had practically given him his blessing to be with Alex, but now he's back to being cold and indifferent. Maybe Alex isn't the only one with a problem.

Finally, after another attempt at chatting with Alex alone before school is thwarted by Rians arrival, Jack snaps.

“What the fuck do you think you're playing at Dawson?” He says, making a half-hearted attempt to push Rian against the lockers. He knows Rian could easily stop him if he wanted, but he goes with it, lets his back hit them with a clang.

“Pardon?”

Rian plays innocent, wants to see where Jack is going to take this. Yes, he's deliberately been keeping Alex away from Jack. It's not that Jack can't be trusted, he's proven himself so far, but Rian just can't take that chance and turn Alex over into his hands. He's worked so hard to get Alex where he is, and setbacks are not an option.  
He can only say that convincing Alex to share himself with Jack had seemed like a good idea at the time.

“Don't you fucking play dumb, I know you're trying to keep Alex away from me”

“I don't know what you're talking about, Alex is right here.”

It's true, Alex has been standing silently, watching their exchange. Jack had completely forgotten he was there.

“That's not what I mean and you know it.”

“Guys, this isn't really the time or the place” Zack's voice cuts in, “The bells going to go in a minute, does the whole school need to hear this?”

“This isn't over, meet me after school or I will find you” Jack says, squaring his shoulders. It's an empty threat really, he doesn't have any idea where Rian lives, but Rian needs to know he's at least trying to be serious.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To Jack's relief, PE is the one class he alone shares with Alex. Zack and Rian play for the schools football team, swapping PE for team practice.

Jack fully intends to get the truth out of Alex. Or at least find out if there’s a reason he's letting Rian herd him around. Of course, because their substitute teacher, a spandex short wearing moron named Mr Withergreen (And really, Jack wishes he would just wither away) demands that they do field and track – adding another lap when both Jack and Alex protest (And hey, at least they can agree on something, so that's a start) they don't really have time to talk.

They're on their third lap of the track when Alex sort of trails to a stop, panting. Jack follows suit, knows that Mr Withergreen is probably going to be on their asses at any moment.

“Gaskarth, Barakat!” And there it is.

“C'mon Alex, or he's gonna make us do another lap” Jack urges, four laps of the track is four laps too many. The only sport Jack ever encountered at his old school was the occasional game of dodge ball and let's face it, it's not a game of great athletic requirement.

“No.” Alex says. “I'm done.”

“Dude, you can't be done, there isn't going to be any done until we're finished these laps, c'mon” Jack reaches for the sleeve of Alex's shirt to drag him along, but Alex stands firm.

“The track is for running, not for having a leisurely chat ladies” Mr Withergreen has decided to grace them with his wonderful presence. Great.

“I feel sick.” Alex says petulantly. It's probably a bit of understatement really, he'd been so focused on running at pace that would mean Jack couldn't talk to him (All Rian's idea really) that he hasn't been paying attention to what his bodys been telling him. Which is essentially, that's he's way too hot and insanely thirsty and in about a minute he's probably going to feel like absolute shit.

“That's nice, you can have a proper little tea break when you're done with the extra lap i'm giving you.”

“I'm serious. I'm sick and i'm not running anymore. I'm done.” Alex moves to walk off the track, but Jack's hand grips his shirt tightly, pulling him back.

“C'mon man, it's only two laps, if I can do it so can you” Alex looks fine, sweaty, but fine. Hes just trying to get out of class early so he doesn't have to talk to Jack and Jack isn't having it. Alex is going to run these two laps come hell or high water.

“Gaskarth, you walk off this track and i'll be seeing both you and Mr Barakat in detention this afternoon.”

“C'mon Alex, seriously.” Jack doesn't have time for detention. He has a date with Rian.

“Jack, no. I've got to get a drink. I'll take the detention or whatever, but i'm done.”

Alex tries to give Jack a look that conveys that he seriously is sick, but he doesn't think it's working. Mr Withergreen is just a sub that doesn't know anything about Alex, and he doesn't want to have this conversation right now, doesn't have the time.

“Jack, remember that conversation we had?” Alex knows they've had lot's of 'wonderful' conversations lately, but his minds too muddled for him to make a more coherent sentence. Who knows, subtlety could just be Jack's thing.

Jack mentally runs through all of his and Alex's conversations.

Okay, maybe this is a high water situation. Maybe Alex doesn't look so good. There's sweaty, then there’s abnormally sweaty and either Jack's swaying from side to side or Alex is and Jack is definitely standing still.

“I think we'll be taking the detention.” Jack would protest, try to explain that Alex is properly sick, but time seems to be of the essence here, Alex was fine when he stopped running and it's only been a few minutes.

Mr Withergreen sighs (The ignorant fuck, aren't teachers supposed to be first aid trained? If Jack can see that somethings wrong, surely this guy can.)

“Have it your way ladies. Detention at four.”

And then, thankfully, he's walking away. Jack turns his attention back to Alex.

“Do I need to get someone? The nurse? Rian?” He doesn't have a fucking clue where Rian and Zack train, but he's sure he can find out if he has to.

“Don't need anyone, just gotta get my bag.”

Logically, Alex knows he should just sit down right here and send Jack ahead to get his bag. Logical Alex isn't exactly home right now.

“Can you even walk, do you want to lean against me?”

“I'm good, just like, catch me if I fall, alright?” and he's laughing, a creepy hollow sound, because the idea of being on the cool grass sounds really nice right about now.

“There's not going to be any falling.” Jack slides his arm around Alex's waist.

“Lean against me, and try not to trip over your those huge feet of yours.”

“You know what they say about big feet.”

Jack snorts. “Yeah, they're tripping hazards”

It seems to take forever to walk the few hundred meters to the sports locker room, Jack promptly sitting Alex down on an uncluttered bench, turning to try and find where they left their bags.

Alex is quiet. His hands shaking where they're folded in his lap.

“Alex, what am I looking for?” He's found Alex's bag, never thought one guy could fit some much stuff in there. There's at least three pairs of clean socks, and socks are not the solution right now.

“In the part with the uhm, thing, uhm juice? Juice is good.” Alex usually keeps an assortment of stuff in his gym bag, but he can't actually remember the last time he checked that it was still there.

Juice. Jack can do juice, tries to ignore how lost Alex seems to be. Juice he can find.

Jack finds a bottle of juice stowed neatly between a towel and a tube of sunscreen, passes it to Alex.

His hands shake and the juice spills over them. Jack's hands curl around his, helping him hold onto the bottle. “Here, you're getting it everywhere.” Jack says. Alex lets him.

It's a long few minutes before Alex's hands still, and he heaves a sigh. He moves to reach for his bag but Jack beats him to it, lifting it onto the bench next to them.

As he unzips his meter case, Alex thinks he should probably explain to Jack what he's doing, but he just can't summon the energy to care if Jack's confused or not at this point. If Jack doesn't like it he can leave.

Jack knows it's impolite to stare, but he can't look away as Alex does, well, Jack isn't sure what he's doing exactly. Pricking his finger (And Jack is suddenly thankful he's not squeamish about blood or needles or he would be so gone right now) and loading a drop of blood into some machine.

There's silence, and both Jack and Alex jump a little when his meter beeps.

“Everything alright?” Jack asks, he's not entirely sure how juice has made Alex stop shaking and swaying, but he'll take it.

“Yeah, thanks for yanno, helping me out.”

“It's fine Alex, really, but we need to talk.” Jack doesn't mean now, but he wants Alex to know that this whole thing with Rian isn't something he's just going to drop.

“I know. Ditch detention and Rian and come over to mine?”

“It's a date.”

Jack is still here, he looks a little phased, but he's here. For the moment, no matter what Rian says, maybe that's enough.


	9. Chapter 9

As they step off the bus and head up the drive to Alex's house Jack is apprehensive. He's kind of worried that Rian is going to pop up from somewhere and demand to know what he's doing.

Once inside, Alex sets about making an afternoon snack. Or not making, because he's lazy.

“Want some cereal? We have about a million different kinds”

Jack goes to peer over Alex's shoulder into the cupboard, and the dude isn't kidding. Cheerios, Crunchy Nut Clusters, some rice-bran abomination and ooh, Lucky Charms. He says as much and Alex grins at him.

They sit at the table (It's a very, very nice table Jack notes, some sort of dark polished wood with matching chairs.) Jack with his Lucky Charms and and Alex with his Crunchy Nut, nothing but the sound of dual crunching to be heard.

When they're done, Alex picks up their bowls and puts them in the sink – his mother doesn't care if he doesn't wash them, as long as they're not left lying around the house.

“I know we have to talk, but wanna play video games first?”

“Sure.” Their conversation can wait Jack thinks, if Alex actually wants to hang out with him. No boy is going to turn down an afternoon of video games.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Alex you cheating asshole!” Jack throws his controller down.

“I'm not cheating you dick!”

“Yes you are stop looking at my screen!” And maybe Jack's not thinking when he leaps off his beanbag to jump onto Alex's lap, wrestling the controller from him.

“Ja-ack, no! Give it back!” Alex yelps, Jack is not so heavy as he is inconveniently bony. 

“I'll give it back when you stop cheating, which will be never, so shut up!”

“I'll show you cheating!” Alex squirms to dislodge himself from under Jack, before reaching across to grab his abandoned beanbag and smack Jack over the head with it.

There's moment just after it makes contact with Jack's head that everything is still before Jack slowly sits up, an evil glint in his eye.

“It is so on.”

Alex bolts, running to his room and trying to close the door behind him – apparently Jack can actually move faster than Alex has given him credit for as his hands quickly appear in the gap between doorframe and door.

“Don't you dare close the door, you'll break my fingers!”

“Get your fingers out of the door then.” The reality of the situation hits Alex then. Him and Jack are play-fighting, something he only ever does with Rian and Zack (Even though both ridiculously gentle with him). This is a chance he can't miss. Neither of them would put all their weight against the door like this.

Alex quickly lets of go of the door and stands back, watches as Jack faceplants into room as the door swings open.

“You. Fucking. Prick!” Jack manages to gasp between bouts of laughter.

“How could you do this to me, I thought we were friends!”

“Friends always take enjoyment of other friends misfortune, and that was really rather unfortunate don't you think?” Alex says, struggling to keep with voice steady, but failing, voice breathy with laughter.

“You're an idiot”

“Well yeah, but i'm not the only one lying on the ground.”

Out of breath, the two come to a rest on Alex's bed. In Alex's room. Jack is totally in Alex's room. On his bed. With Alex.

“So I guess we should talk” Alex starts, he doesn't want to ruin the awesome afternoon they've had, but he can actually hear Jack's mind ticking over, thinking about how to bring up the topic.

“That'd be good, yeah.”

“I guess it's been kind of obvious that Rian's been trying to keep us away from each other, after everything.”

“No kidding.” Jack says, and he loves the little sound of amusement Alex makes.

“It's just,” Jack continues. “Sometimes he seems totally into us being friends and sometimes I think he might actually want to kill me. I want to be friends with all of you, but I can't keep getting pushed and pulled around like this.”

Alex feels so horribly, terribly guilty. He hadn't realised that this was effecting Jack just as much as it's been effecting him.

“I'll admit that maybe I haven't tried to stop him or anything. Rian's done so much for me and I thought that maybe he could see something in you that I couldn''t – it's happened before. I just, I don't want you to get tired of me. There's a huge learning curve with diabetes and with everything else that's wrong with me, it's not exactly an easy road, especially with Rian watching your every move. I've tired people out before.”

Jack wants to kill those people. Alex is not a burden, something you get tired of like and old lamp or a pair of curtains. You don't just up and replace people whenever you want.

“Alex, i'm not going to get tired of you, I swear. I want you to take care of yourself, and i'll help out if I can, and if I can't then i'm happy to let Rian or Zack step in and lead the way. You're worth more than you think.”

Alex smiles at him then, a proper smile with teeth and everything, and it makes Jack so stupidly happy that he forgets to breathe.


	10. Chapter 10

As he heads up the drive to school Jack can see Rian sitting on the front steps, hands in his pockets. This can't be good. He knows that Alex would've told Rian about their little get together yesterday, knows that Rian would've been expecting to see him after school. Jack's not sure what's going to happen.

“Rian.” He greets, deliberately keeping his voice casual.

“Walk with me.” Rian says, standing up and brushing the dust off his jeans.

Isn't 'walk with me' what they say in all those murder mysteries just before they lure the victim into their murderous trap?

“Uhm, sure.” Jack follows, figures that if Rian starts to lead him into an alley or something he'll make a run for it.

Instead, Rian leads him to the base of one of the oak trees that line the schools perimeter, looks around suspiciously and reaches into his pocket.

Jack flinches, and he sees a different expression cross Rian's features. Concern?

“Geez Jack, i'm not going to hurt you or anything. Alex just wanted me to give you this, was all.” Rian holds out a slightly crumpled piece of paper. Jack hastily shoves into his his hoodie, figures if Rian doesn't murder him he'll read it later.

“Sit.”

Jack sits.

“So, Alex told me about your little playdate yesterday.” There's a pause. “And that maybe i've been a bit of a ass to you lately. Well, all the time.”

“You've been...inconsistent?” Jack thinks inconsistent is the word he's looking for. English is not Jack's forte ever since the whole 'sentiment, sediment' incident of seventh grade.

“Yeah, inconsistent covers it I guess. Alex said I supposed to apologise, but I want you to understand where i'm coming from Jack. I've known Alex since we were kids and we've built our friendship on years of knowing each other and suddenly you come waltzing in and click with him and I'm supposed to just trust you?”

Jack completely understands what Rian means. He's exactly the same with his mothers potential boyfriends. He likes to greet them at the door and try to intimidate the fuck out them before his mother comes down the stairs. Especially the sweet and charming ones. They're the worst.

“I didn't mean to come in and start treading on anyone's toes Rian, I swear – if you want me gone i'll go.”

It crushes Jack to admit it, but if Rian tells him to up and leave him and Zack and Alex alone, he will. He knows how much their friendship means to Alex and he doesn't want to intrude on that.

“You can't leave. I couldn't do that to Alex. Or you, the puppy eyes you guys make at eachother is sickening enough when you're around each other, I can't imagine if I actually separated you two.”

“Uhm, what?” Jack does not (Definately does not) make puppy eyes at Alex. What the fuck are puppy eyes anyway?

Rian laughs.

“I know you've got a crush on him about the size of Texas.”

Jack can feel the heat rising in his cheeks. “I do not.”

“So you're just blushing for no reason?”

“I'm not blushing, It's the uhm, heat?” Rian just gives him a knowing smile.

“He likes you too, you know.”

What. Surely Rian is just pulling his chain here for his own personal amusement. His disbelief must show on his face because Rian is quick to quash that feeling.

“I'm not trying to trick you, it's true. Alex thinks you're the next best thing since toaster brownies and Mark Hoppus.”

Jack might actually explode from joy. Alex likes him! Like properly likes him. He's just stepped into a magical fantasy land where stuff like this happens, for sure. Boy meets boy, boy likes boy, feeling is mutual doesn't actually happen in real life and certainly not in Jack's.

“So, truce? You know the drill, hurt Alex, I hurt you. I'll be watching.”

“Truce.”

They shake on it.

The bell rings then, and Jack gets up to follow Rian back across the sports field to the main block.

“Alex!” Jack calls cheerfully, watching as Alex jumps and pokes his head out from behind his locker door.

“Uhm, hi?” He seems puzzled by Jack's joy. It is a Thursday Jack reminds himself, usually by this point in the week he's in zombie mode.

“We have science first, right?”

“Yeah, I think we're reviewing that equation homework – did you get it done?”

“We had homework?” Jack doesn't remember there being homework.

Alex gives him another one of those wonderful smiles.

“Of course we did you doofus, don't you remember – you got extra questions because I dropped my pencil and you wouldn't stop laughing about it?”

Oh. Now Jack remembers. Something about questions 17 and 18 in their textbooks. (And 19 because Jack was being 'disruptive to other students. Psh.) Jack's not even sure where his textbook is at the moment.

“Were we supposed to bring our textbooks?”

Zack makes an exasperated expression.

“You can borrow mine, i'll share with Ri, we all know Alex doesn't share very well.” He says.

Like it's such a hard task for Zack to snuggle up with Rian in the back row under the pretense of 'looking closely at the diagrams'.

“Hey!” Alex protests.

“Well you don't.”

“But i'd share with my favourite friend Jacky! Wouldn't I Jack?”

“I dunno, would you?”

Alex looks betrayed, and Zack cackles with laughter.

“I absolutely would! You can keep your textbook Zack, Jack is sharing mine.I'll show you guys sharing is caring!”


	11. Chapter 11

It isn't until Jack's rummaging through his closet that afternoon looking for that one pair of extra comfy sweatpants that he remembers Alex's note still in his pocket, untouched. 

In retrospect, he wonders why Alex hadn't given it to him himself, or mentioned it at all.

The thought that it could be a suicide note flashes through his mind, and he lunges for his hoodie frantically trying to unfold the paper.

It isn't. Instead, it's a phone number. With a slightly misshapen smiley face. Jack feels kinda bad for his first thought, he doesn't know Alex, has no real reason to immediately presume that it would be a suicide note. Not everyone thinks like he does.

Reaching for his phone, Jack saves Alex's number under Alex :), wonders if he should text him to let him know he got the note. Why couldn't Alex have given it to him himself?

Either way, he now has Alex's phone number. And he's been to his house. And Alex shared his science textbook with him. And he has Rian's blessing. Things are going awesomely.

That night, over their customary post-dinner game of Trivial Pursuit, (It's cheesy, but Jack enjoys spending time with his mom. Also, she sucks at trivia.)  
Jack's mom pounces.

“You keep saying how you've made these new friends, but I’ve not seen hide nor hair of them. I think you should invite them over for dinner.”

“They're pretty busy mom, Zack and Rian have football and stuff”

Really, Jack just can't imagine how awkward dinner with the guys and his mom would be. His mother has a tendency to ask endless awkward questions.

“You told me last week football practice was on during PE class.”

Fuck.

“Please promise not to interrogate them mom, pleaaaseeee.”

“Now why would I do that?” His mom is smirking, Jack's sure of it.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day Jack's trying to find the right moment to interrupt their lunchtime conversation.

He just needs to come right out with it. If they don't want come, they don't have to.

“My mom wants you all to come over for dinner so she can meet you.” He mumbles.

“I'm in.” Alex says. “My mom's on this crazy soup diet binge and our whole house is practically made of broth at this point.”

Rian has a ridiculous eyebrow conversation with Zack. (Seriously, they just wiggle them and make stupid faces at each other and somehow have entire conversations.)

“We'll be there.” He says.

Zack motions for him to hang back with him as they head to class which is weird. Zack's a cool guy, but beyond their affinity for skateboarding they don't have much in common.

“Jack” He says softly. “Does your mom know about me and Rian? I mean, we're happy to keep it under wraps for dinner, but we need to know either way.”

“She'll be fine with it, promise.” Jack says.

His mom is pretty cool that way. She'd barely batted an eyelid when Jack had finally found the confidence to confess to her that he was bi. She'd just given him a hug and told him not to bring too many boys and girls home.

Zack seems satisfied with his answer.

“So, did you catch that skate documentary that was on Sky last night?”

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's Saturday night and Alex is freaking out. He's going to dinner at Jack's house. Like a dinner date. (And it's not really a date because Jack's mom, Rian and Zack will be there but still) He wants to look good and nothing is cooperating with him.

His hair has taken a decidedly anti-gravity approach to being washed thoroughly, he can't find his 'sexy sneakers' and none of his shirts seem to fit right and he doesn't want to ruin his outfit with a hoodie.

Maybe a jacket? A jacket could work.

“Alexander, Rian is here!” His mother calls from downstairs.

Jacket it is.

He taps his foot against the floor of Rian's car the entire way to Jack's house.

“Jesus Alex, it's not like you're going to marry him. It's dinner. With Jack's mom. You'll be fine.” Zack's trying for reassuring Alex can tell, but it's not working.

“Shut up.” He says, ever diplomatic.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's not until Jack hears a car pull into their driveway (They're the only house on the street with gravel instead of concrete or pavers) that it occurs to him that Alex might not be able to eat the potato bake and chocolate cake his mom's made. He hasn't gotten around to asking Alex how he works out what he eats, which is now a giant flaw in his dinner plans. His mom's going to feel really bad if Alex turns her down, which in turn is going to make Jack feel even more guilty.

Fuck. Maybe he can talk with Alex before his mom gets to. He doesn't need another cookie incident.

He races to the door just as he hears car doors slam shut, practically throws himself through it.

“Uhm, Jack?” They all look surprised to see him. He probably could've exited the house more gracefully.

“It's just, fuck Alex my mom made chocolate cake and I don't know if you can eat it because the whole basis of it is butter and sugar and I wasn't thinking and I'm sorry.”

Jack's spent a lot of time apologising lately.

“Jack, relax, if I want to eat chocolate cake I can eat chocolate cake. I could eat the whole thing if I really wanted, but I’m working on the whole sharing is caring thing, remember?”

Alex is just so casual about it. Like 'sure, cake is cool.' Like Jack hasn't had a mini heart attack over it.

“Jack, aren't you going to invite your friends inside?” His mothers head is poking out through the doorway. (He's helpfully left the door wide open.)

Dinner isn't so bad. His mom asks those prerequisite mom questions, 'What do your parents do?' and 'Do you have plans for college?' and stuff like that. The guys play along, though Jack is pretty sure Alex has no intentions to go to NYU and study teaching, but he appreciates that it's easier to have a story rather than 'Well, I just don't know. Maybe I’ll stay home and play video games.' Moms do not like to hear that.


	12. Chapter 12

Dinner at Jack's house is amazing. It requires a bit of impromptu math in their bathroom (Alex really needs to get Jack on board so he can work all this stuff out for him) and he ends up trying to chase down a high blood sugar before he heads to bed but it's worth it. Jack's mom is a great cook, and she's so hilariously blunt when she speaks. Kind of like Jack.

Chocolate cake is one of Alex's great weaknesses. Chocolate in other forms he can live without, but cake. Cake is his guilty pleasure. There's just something about it.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As the days pass, Jack becomes familiar with Alex's routine. Now that he knows, Alex isn't late to lunch anymore, and whilst watching him test his blood sugar at the table is a little odd (Jack can't fathom having to do that to yourself everyday, even if Alex assures him that he barely even feels it anymor.) he's happy Alex is willing to be open with him.

He's met Alex's parents, neatly pressed business people who always call Alex by his full first name. Alexander this and Alexander that and the look on Alex's face is always priceless as he mumbles 'Alex is fine mom, really' to no effect.

It's greatly entertaining.

He's at Alex's house now, actually. Just him and Alex for another afternoon of video games. It's kind of thing they do. Also, they're having a sleepover. A sleepover. At Alex's house. Spending the night with Alex.

Alex is in his bathroom (Jack wishes he had his own ensuite) when his phone beeps with a text message.

“Jack, can you get that?”

Jack reaches for Alex's phone, unlocking it.

“It's uh, from your mom? Isn't she downstairs?”

“Yeah, can you read it to me?

He opens the text, confused. His own mother would just yell whatever she wanted from downstairs.

From what he can understands it's something about dinner and dessert and a bunch of numbers.

“Uhm, it's just a bunch of numbers and something about 15 minutes, I don't think your mom knows how to text.”

Alex comes out of the bathroom then. He gives Jack a smile. (And a smile from Alex is definitely one of Jack's favourite things.)

“Hand it over”

He watches Alex read the message before he huffs out a laugh.

“Jack, mom just texted me the numbers so I can do my insulin for dinner, which is going to be in about 15 minutes”

Jack frowns.

“Doesn't your pump do that for you?” He's confused. He really needs to go through those papers Alex gave him a while back, just hasn't found the time or motivation. Reading is reading, and he doesn't like reading even if it's important.

“It's not it's own sentinent being Jack, it doesn't know what we're having for dinner – i've got to do the math and put it in, it's just the injection part that's automatic.”

Oh. Jack didn't know that.

Alex reaches for the notepad he keeps on his desk, starts writing down the figures into the appropriate equation. Wait. Jack is here. Jack of AP Math.

“You're a math genius right Jack?”

“Compared to you, definately”

“Hey!” Jack laughs, Alex's indignant face is definitely more of a cute pout.

“What do you need help with?”

Alex passes the notebook over. “Wanna work this out for me?”

Jack reads through Alex's notes, he really does love math. Math doesn't change, isn't like english in the sense that people have difference perspectives. A three is always going to be a fucking three.

He holds the answer up to Alex's face.

"What do you do with this?"

“Well, in order to keep my blood sugar where it's supposed to be, that's the amount of insulin that'll cover dinner, give or take a bit depending on what my blood sugar is now”

Alex seems kind of embarrassed, so Jack tries his best to nod understandingly. Truthfully, he does kind of understand, the math part at least. He watches Alex test, and then make an amendment to the answer Jack's given before reaching for his pump.

“You don't have to watch if this is weird for you” Alex says, and Jack really hates how insecure Alex is, like watching him do this might actually jeopardise their friendship.

“It's cool. It's uh, kind of interesting?”

Alex's pump makes it's default 'I'm doing something!' series of beeps, and Jack laughs.

“Oh my god, it sounds just like R2D2!”

Alex laughs with him, “I guess it kind of does.” He makes robot arms. “Take me to your leader!”

“I don't think that's the right movie quote, but we'll go with it.”

“Alexander, Jack, dinner!” It's actually taken them a whole 15 minutes to work this out (It usually takes him 5) but Alex has high hopes for teaching Jack the equation so when they're together Alex doesn't have to work it out. He thinks it'll be a nice break.

“She calls you Alexander, Alexander.” Jack says.

“Fuck you.” It's the only appropriate response, really.

Dinner is a quiet affair, Alex's mom and dad ask the same questions his mom had asked Alex and he does his best to answer them in a manner befitting the mature person that he is before him and Alex head back up the stairs to Alex's room, bowls of ice cream in hand.

“Oh wait, did you want sprinkles? – I usually don't, but we have some somewhere”

“Nah, it's fine.” Jack doesn't want to have sprinkles if Alex isn't.

They both end up lying in Alex's bed (Alex's wonderfully soft might-be-memory-foam double bed full of wonder) leaning against the headboard watching South Park re-runs. It seems awfully tame for all the sleepovers Jack's ever been to, but it's somehow even better, just him, Alex and their ice cream.

After Alex's returned from taking their bowls downstairs, they tackle the 'who's sleeping where' issue. The blow up mattress has a hole in it.

“Probably from Rian's fat ass when he was over.” Alex says.

“You could bunk with me, if you wanted, I could make a wall of cushions – or there's the guest room?”

Alex just invited him to sleep with him. Not in the technical sense but still, with Alex in his bed. Within arms reach. Alex would be okay with that.

“With you is fine, just be warned that i'm a kicker” Jack tries to play it cool, like spending the night in Alex's bed with Alex is no big deal. Not at all.

“That's cool, mom tells me I snore anyway so we can keep each other awake.”

Jack brushes his teeth and changes into his pajamas (Old sweats and a band shirt, no way was he bringing his matching Transformer pajamas to a sleepover) while Alex makes another trip downstairs to locate cushions for their wall. Really, Jack would be just fine without the wall.

“Found some” Alex sing-songs, and yes, he has. There is a definte wall in the middle of the bed, kind of like a third person. Jack isn't jealous of a wall of pillows, he isn't.

Alex disappears into the bathroom then, comes out in his pajamas and reaches for his meter again.

“How many times do you do that every day?” Jack's never really paid attention before, but now that he's in close quarters with Alex, it seems more noticable.

“'Bout 8 or so, why?”

“Just, are you sure it doesn't hurt? You're pretty much stabbing yourself till you bleed – don't your fingers hurt?”

“I guess I don't really feel it anymore” Alex says, and then;

“You want to try? That's weird right, that I suggested that. Nevermind.”

What. Does Jack want to stab himself in the finger with what appears to be a spring loaded sewing needle? Not really. But this is Alex coming out of his shell, trying to share this with him. He might as well.

“Hey no, it's only a little bit weird. But uhm, if you've got a spare thing, i'll give it a go. I'm man enough.”

Alex is silent for a moment,

“I think i've got a spare one around here somewhere” Alex says, and promtly disappears into his closet, shuffling through boxes of junk.

Alex returns, lancet in hand. He fiddles with it for a moment, before he must deem it acceptable as he hands it to Jack.

“Knock yourself out.”

Jack twirls it around his fingers, trying to psych himself up to do this. It's weird knowing you're (Presumably) going to cause yourself pain. Which in itself is weird, because usually Jack's pretty good at that.

“Alex, how do you just yanno, do it? I know it's coming and my hand is like fuck no.”

“You don't actually have to do it Jack, I know it's creepy of me to have asked.”

“No it's cool, just, maybe you could go first and explain how to do it?

Jack tries his best to pay proper attention how Alex does it, lines it up neatly with the side of finger 'Because the middle of your finger does actually sting like a bitch, Jack' and sets it up with a click and it's done. It's almost effortless, apart from the bleeding part.

Jack's turn. He's nervous. He can line it up with his finger, but he can't actually make his hand press the button. He's a fucking wuss. He is going to do this though, if Alex can, he can.

He takes a deep breath.

And okay, it kind of hurts like a bitch, side of his finger or no. His whole body kind of flinches, but he's kind of proud that he managed to shut down the girly yelp he was about to make before it came out of his mouth.

He can't imagine being 'used to it'.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Bed? I'm sort of done for the day, but you can watch TV if you want.” Alex aks with an adorable yawn.

“Bed sounds good, actually.” Jack is tired, strangely enough. He's done fuck all today, but he's tired.

They climb into bed (It's so wonderfully comfy) and attempt to wrangle the doona over both of them and their pillow-wall-person.

Alex flicks off the lamp.

“Night Jack.”

“Night Alex.”

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jack wakes up in the dark, not sure where he is for a moment. What's clear though, is that Alex (Creator of the the pillow-wall-person), has breached the wall. He's pressed snugly against Jack's side, breath puffing into his shoulder. He's not snoring though, so that's a plus.

Jack shifts a little, trying to roll over so he can face Alex without waking him up. He's so lovely when he sleeps. (Jack is not a creeper, he swears). Jack figures if Alex is allowed to sleep-spoon him, he's allowed to spoon back. He cautiously slides a hand under the doona across Alex's side, wraps around his stomach gently, tucks Alex's head under his chin. 

Alex just sighs and seems to snuggle closer.

Jack is torn between wanting to stay awake in this moment forever, or falling back asleep in this amazing bed with this amazing boy at his side.


	13. Chapter 13

Alex wakes to the familiar sound of his alarm. (Honestly, he's sick of Dammit, but he just can't be bothered to make the effort to change it)

Beside him, Jack groans. Well, it's less beside him more Alex seems to have attached himself to Jack like some sort of warmth seeking octupus. Oops. Jack doesn't seem too bothered by it, just removes his arms from around Alex (Jack was holding him back, so it's not entirely Alex's fault here) to do some sort of ridiculous stretch and yawn combination.

“Wha' time is it?” Jack asks, voice muzzy with sleep. His hair is even more of a disaster than Alex's in the morning, all tangled and sticking out to the sides. It's freaking adorable.

“A bit past seven.”

“Please tell me I don't have to get up.” Jack's voice borders on a whine.

“Nope, you're free to stay in bed as long as you want. I might have to get up for breakfast though.”

Secretly, Alex hopes he doesn't. It's kind of nippy in the mornings and Jack's made such a lovely warm spot. But there's a reason he has an alarm, even on weekends he has a routine.

A routine which apparently cannot be interrupted even if he wants to stay in bed with Jack for a few more hours.

“Wanna have breakfast in bed? We're out of cereal except for the gross bran stuff my dad eats, but we've got toast and shit.”

“Do you have peanut butter?”

“Just the kind that's mixed with Nutella.”

That gets Jack moving. He sits bolt upright, rubbing his eyes.

“That's an actual thing – peanut butter and Nutella in one jar?”

“Yup.”

“Let's go.”

They bring their breakfast back to bed, rearranging their failed pillow wall into makeshift tables. Jack doesn't mention Alex's clinginess and he's thankful for that. Just because his body subconsciously wants to spoon Jack doesn't mean he has any sort of feelings towards Jack. Certainly none that he wants to talk about.

He leaves Jack in charge of making the bed 'Just take the extra pillows and out try and make it look tidy or something' while he showers. Despite the early hour, Saturday morning showers are his favourite. It's one of his 'free shower' days. He changes the site on his body his pump goes into, replaces the tubing and insulin. He usually does it twice a week but since there's no school on Saturday there's less of a rush to put in back in. It's nice to be free of technology for a little while, well if he didn't have a guest like he does today.

Except that after he's ganked his old site, he realises that the insulin he needs to refill his pump is downstairs in the fridge, where it usually is. Outside the bathroom, past Jack. He isn't ready to show Jack this yet.

He puts on the pair of pants he'd brought with him, doesn't bother with a shirt since it'll only get in the way. He knows sneaking past Jack isn't going to be possible, he's right outside the door.

“Where're you going?” Jack asks, voice muffled from the doona he's attempting to put around the right way by holding it over his head.

“Just downstairs, gotta get some stuff.”

Thankfully, Jack doesn't question him upon his return and he retreats back into the bathroom without issue.

“Alex, you haven't drowned in there have you?”

“If I had, would you be expecting a reply?”

Jack laughs at that. “I guess not.”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The rest of their weekend is unevenful, though he does find one of Jack's socks under his bed after he's gone. Ew.

That night he's in bed but can't fall asleep.

He's worried about Jack. What Jack thinks of him. Jack could have whatever friends he wants and he seems happy to hang out with him. It's confusing and Alex isn't sure it's going to last. He's been on a good run the last few weeks both health wise and emotionally, but he knows it's not going to last forever. That's not how life works.

He's not convinced Jack will want to hang around when things go shit, even if he's promised to stay.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Later that week, he's sprawled across Rian's kitchen table (Yes, the kitchen table. He's filling in time while Rian makes toasted sandwiches. Rian is totally his bitch)

Zack walks in then, Jack behind him.

“Alex, what the fuck are you doing?”

“Warming myself?” It's kind of true, the suns coming in through the large window above the kitchen sink onto his legs. It's burning through his jeans.

Jack pats him on the head. “You freak.”

“But i'm your freak.” Alex says, just to see how Jack reacts.

He snorts. “Sure thing.”

Alex kicks him.

“Ow!” Jack yelps, and Alex points to Zack who's over helping Rian with the sandwiches.

“It was Zack.”

Jack's eyes narrow.

“It was not.”

Jack lunges for Alex then and he does his best to roll away from tickling fingers without rolling off the table. He lures Jack to the other side before leaping off the other end.

“Hah! I win!” He raises his arms triumphantly.

“You have until I count to three” Jack warns, cracking his knuckles.

Alex runs from the kitchen then, trying to find somewhere to hide. He has the advantage here, this is Jack's first visit to Rian's house.

Rian yells after him. “You break something, you're paying for it Alex!”

Alex wouldn't. He's a graceful guy.

He finds a spot in Rian's parents guest room, in the cupboard inside the walk-in closet next to what appears to be a raccoon hat.

His own breath is echoing in his ears before he can hear footsteps on the stairs. He tries to breathe more quietly. It smells funny in here.

“Alexanderrrrr” Jack calls for him.

“Come out come out wherever you are.” And okay, Jack's voice has taken on a creepy tone like all those serial killers in movies.

Alex shivers.

“Alex.” Jack calls again, and his footsteps are getting closer.

Alex is overtaken by a fit a laughter and he struggles to keep quiet, biting down on his hand to muffle himself. It's clearly not successful because he hears the door to the closet slide open.

“Alex?”

“Alexy walexy shalexykins?”

He gives himself away, can't stop the giggles escaping his mouth (He's a man okay. Sometimes men giggle.)

The cupboard door opens and he's looking right into Jack's soft brown eyes.

“Found you.” Jack's voice is almost a purr now, and Alex's wondering what he's going to do.

Jack lunges for him, fingers digging into his sides.

“Jack, no!” Alex squeals like a goddamn girl, he's stupidly ticklish.

Of course, Jack doesn't stop. He actually drags Alex out of the cupboard. (He's stronger than Alex thought he was, and he's strangely okay with Jack pulling him about.)

Jack's got him pinned onto the bed, one arm across his chest, the other tickling just about every ticklish spot Alex has. God. There's a part of his brain that's somehow removed itself from the situation at hand to think about nice it is that's Jack on top of him, holding him down.

They're interrupted by Zack and Rian.

“Kids, snack time!” They chorus, and Jack is pulling away from him, reaching out a hand to pull Alex up from the bed aswell.

“C'mon, let's go see how well our dads did with those sandwiches.”


	14. Chapter 14

It's not until another week goes by that everything does indeed go to shit. Whilst he's on medication for the depression, his anxiety isn't so bad as to warrant it. Apparently his panic attacks don't have consistent enough triggers. Fucking doctors.

They're having a group sleepover at Zack's house because his parents are out and apparently trust their home to four teenage boys for the weekend.

To be fair, they're not the craziest of kids. They did find a half-full bottle of wine in one of the cupboards, but they're not huge fans. The look of sheer repulsion on Rian's face had been priceless.

They've created what is essentially a giant nest in Zack's living room. Sofa cushions, extra doonas, a piece of foam they found in the garage – it's a seriously comfy set-up. Right in front of the TV so they can play video games all night long.

Well, it's more Rian trying to verse Jack whilst keeping an arm secured around Zack's waist as they feed each other popcorn. They're fucking adorable, really.

Alex's waiting for them to make the inevitable switch to Mario Kart, he's ace at that game and sitting between Rian and Jack makes for ample sabotage opportunities.

Eventually, as night turns into the early hours of the morning and sugar high from the stupid amount of junk food they've eaten (Alex is not opposed to certain fake sweetners in certain types of candy - sometimes he's can't tell the difference between them and the real stuff) wears off – they head to bed. Or uh, nest.

Rian curls into Zack's side as he fumbles for the remote to turn the TV off, Zack pulling the doona securely over the two if them. (Seriously. If they were any cuter Alex might have to smother them in their sleep)

It's just him and Jack on the other side of the nest. Do nests have sides?

Jack opens his arms. “Platonic snuggle? I hear it's what all the cool kids are doing.”

Rian coughs and Alex surreptiously reaches a hand back to pinch him.

“Well, if it's a matter of coolness.” He says, shifting over to Jack's side. It takes a bit of tossing and turning and bony elbows in soft squishy places before they settle – Alex is once again the little spoon. He's okay with that though, likes the way Jack's ridiculous skunk-fringe brushes softly against his neck, the way his lips brush his ear as he whispers goodnight.

They're all completely platonic feelings, of course.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alex wakes up and can't breathe. Logically he knows that the huge weight on his chest isn't real, but he can't escape it. He sits up, and is still for a moment. He's not sure if he's going to be sick or cry. Potentially both. He has to get up.

He struggles to get the doona off and get Jack to let go of him, can feel the sweat beading on his forehead as he tries to rein in his emotions. It's fruitless, he knows, can hear his own breath rushing in ears and he can't fucking escape it. The worst part is that there isn't even a reason, it just hits him like a freight train anyway.

He must make some sort of noise, or moved Jack too roughly because he stirs beside him.

“Alex?” He says, reaching an arm out for him – patting the empty space between them. Jack's eyes crack open then hazy with sleep, assessing.

“Oh Alex no.” Jack says softly.

Alex flinches away from his grip. Jack is too close and too warm and too everywhere.

“Don't.” He rasps, but Jack is persistent – sitting up and trying to pull him closer.

“C'mon, you're okay.” Jack coaxes and some part of Alex can appreciate that he's just trying what worked before, but it's not going to fucking work now.

“I said don't!” He tries to raise his voice, but it doesn't come out as more than a harsh whisper, the pressure on his chest frighteningly tight.

Jack lets him go then and Alex bolts to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

He leans against the countertop, looks at himself in the mirror. All frantic eyes and dry mouth. He tries to remember all those breathing techniques he's been taught but all he can concentrate on is that he knows that everyone's coming.

Everyone's going to come in and see him like this and there's nothing he can do. He lets out a rough sob and it echoes through his extremities and he lets himself slide down the counter till he's sitting on the cool tiles, curling in on himself.

Predictably, he can voices and footsteps coming down the hall.

“Alex?” Rian calls, rapping sharply on the the door before pushing it open.

Their eyes meet, and Alex is always thankful for the fact that Rian has never pitied him, just approaches the situation like he does life, calm, collected and with a plan in mind.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jack watches hesitantly from the doorway. Honestly, he's fucking terrified for Alex. He's making this horrible noise as he breathes and cries and his whole body is wracked with tremors. It's the most heartbreaking thing Jack has ever witnessed and there's nothing he can do except watch.

Zack brushes past him to place a bottle of water on the floor near Rian and Alex, wetting a washcloth and leaving it beside them as well before coming back to the doorway with Jack.

“Zack, w-what, what do we do?” He whispers.

Zack squeezes his hand onto Jack's shoulder.

“We just wait, Alex'll come down when he's ready.”

Alex doesn't look ready for anything. If anything, he's worse than when Jack looked up earlier. Rian doesn't seem to be doing anything either, just sitting cross-legged in front of Alex, hands in his lap. At least Jack had tried.

It seems like an age before Alex makes a distinctive sort of wail that might be Rian's name, fingers still clenched tightly in the loose fabric of his pajamas.

Rian is in motion then, reaching for the washcloth and shifting closer to Alex, wiping the sweat off his forehead, the back of his neck.

He's whispering softly, soothingly to Alex.

“You know you're going to be alright, but you gotta breathe with me, in one two and out one two, c'mon.”

Rian rests the washcloth on the back of Alex's neck and Alex sort of tilts forward, rests his head on Rian's shoulders, Rian murmuring into his ear.

Forever passes before Alex rests silently against Rian, his body soft and still.

Rian looks at Zack (Another eyebrow conversation, and Jack can't help but feel this isn't the time or the place) before Zack heads back down the hall, leaving him standing there, awkwardly resting against the doorframe.

Alex reaches for the bottle of water then, Rian beating him to it, unscrewing the lid before handing it over.

“Feel better?” Rian asks, and to Jack it's the most stupid fucking question – Alex probably doesn't feel better at all, he probably feels like shit and Rian would know that but Alex just nods, stretching his legs out in front of him a little.

“You want Jack to come sit with you?”

Alex looks at him then, chocolate brown eyes staring glassily into his. He nods again, and Jack walks over and drops to his knees beside him and Rian. What are you supposed to say? He doesn't have any words at all.

He wants to hold Alex but knows that might not be the best idea right now, so he waits for Alex to make the first move.

Zack comes back then, Alex's meter and bottle of juice in hand.

“Just in case.” He says.

“Can you do it, or do you want me to?” Rian asks, and for a moment Jack is confused. Do what?

But Alex heaves a shuddering sigh and sort of shrugs, holding his hand out to Rian and oh. Jack catches on.

If it's weird to watch Alex himself test, it's infinitely weirder watching Rian do it for him, his hands make Alex's seem so tiny and fragile and his touch seems almost clinical.

There's a lull of a few seconds while they wait for the result, Alex shifting a little to the side to rest his weight against Jack. It's a sign Jack thinks, that Alex is okay with him being there.

Rian and Alex's heads bend forward to see the numbers on the screen, and after a look from Zack, Alex obligingly reaches for the juice, drinking a few mouthfuls before putting it down again.

“Can we go to bed?” He asks, and his voice seems has a rough edge to it, exhaustion Jack guesses, if he looks out the tiny frosted window, there's just a hint of light – it must be pretty damn early.

“Course.” Zack says, and then they're all moving – Zack scooping Alex up into arms as they head back to their makeshift beds.

They rearrange the covers, Zack setting Alex down in his original spot.

“You gonna be okay over there, or do you want me and Rian to stay on your side?” Zack asks.

Alex's looking at Jack again.

“Can I stay on your side?” He says it so quietly, like he already thinks the answer will be no Alex, fuck off you freak.

“You know it” Jack says,

They lie in silence for a while, separated, but Jack can feel Alex's eyes on him even in the darkness.

“It's okay,” he says, “You can come closer, I don't mind.”

Alex does, less of a spoon-type deal this time, more of him resting his head against Jack's chest, arms wrapping tightly around him. Jack let's him, knows that Alex won't, can't ask for this. Jack holds him back just as tight, wishes he could shift Alex's pain onto himself. Objectively he can't, but he's going to damn well try.


	15. Chapter 15

They don't stir until late that morning. (Well, it's a quarter to 12 so it might as well be the afternoon)

Jack goes to get up (He really, really has to pee) but Alex just whines and clings onto him tighter. Across the room, Zack and Rian are watching with bemused expressions.

“Uhm guys, help?” He can't seem to prise Alex's hands out of his t-shirt.

“Alex come on, I have to pee”

“No” Alex says.

“What do you mean no? I'm either getting up to pee or i'm going on you”

Rian snickers, before disentangling himself from Zack, crawling over to them, shaking Alex's shoulder.

“Lex, let Jack go so he can pee.”

“Gnnh.” Alex says.

Rian's hands close over Alex's fingers then, physically removing them one by one from Jack's shirt. Alex fights him for a moment, before he gives up amd lets Rian manhandle him off of Jack.

Jack pats Alex on the head (It's kind of a thing, Alex's hair is so damn soft and he always leans into it like a dog.)

“Good boy.” He says, heading to the bathroom.

In the bathroom, Jack stares contemplatively at his own reflection. Last night (Or morning, whatever) had been an eye opener, a realisation of just how fragile Alex could be.

His eyes travel down to his arms, the scars on them. They're mostly faded now, just a few of the deeper ones remaining and he knows they'll never disappear completely.

He's never made a deliberate attempt to hide them, but he knows he's continued the habit of turning his arms inward, away from people – it's just a subconscious thing that he hasn't really tried to stop doing.

Alex isn't perfect, but neither is he.

He thinks that maybe, Alex is terrified of being a disappointment – the one with all the problems, worried about what Jack thinks, whether Jack will get sick of him and leave.

Alex has shared so much with him, so maybe he needs to even up the score a little. Maybe it'll help. Or maybe it won't – maybe the tables will turn and Alex will leave him. Jack doesn't really think that will happen, but he's thought that before.

When he returns from the bathrrom, Alex is still buried in their nest, watching Adventure Time, volume down low. Zack and Rian are nowhere to be seen.

Alex turns to face him, dark circles under his eyes but a fond expression on his face.

“Zack and Ri went to get lunch down the corner.” He says.

“Cool. What are having?”

“No idea, but I asked for orange tic-tacs so if they forget I'm not letting them back in”

Jack laughs, “But wouldn't Zack have a key?”

“Details, details.”

They sit for a while, watching Jake perform a hula dance to a group of meringue mice.

Jack figures there's no time like the present.

“Hey Alex?” He says.

“Hmm?” Alex looks away from the TV, tilts his head questioningly.

“Can we turn the tv off for a sec, I wanna talk to you.”

Something changes in Alex then, movements jerky he reaches for the remote. Fuck, Alex probably thinks this is going to be Jack telling him he doesn't want to be friends anymore. Good job asshole, says a voice in the back of his head. Like Alex needs to be more anxious right now.

He tries to be reassuring.

“It's not that kind of conversation, i'm still not going anywhere.”

Alex kind of relaxes at that, but not much.

“Fire away then” He says.

“It's just,” Jack starts, “You've told me all this stuff about you, and I know you're always worried that i'm going to tell you to get fucked and I guess, I guess I want you to know that i'm not perfect either.”

Hesitantly, Alex's hand reaches for his and squeezes gently. Jack lets him, it's strangely reassuring, even if his hand is stupidly sweaty.

He's not sure what to say, decides that he'll show first and tell later.

It takes a minute for Alex's gaze to shift downward, where Jack's sort of twisted his other arm out to the side.

“Oh.” Is all Alex says. His hand squeezes Jack's a little tighter, uses his other hand to trace down Jack's outstretched arm.

“You don't still -?” The question hangs in the air between them.

“It's been about a year.” Jack says.

“I'm so sorry, I should've noticed before but i've just be so wrapped up in keeping everything from you and i've been a shit friend in return.”

“Alex no, this isn't supposed to make you feel like you missed something. Just if, if I can help you see that i'm really not as great as you think I am...”

He trails off, unsure of where he's taking their conversation.

The tables do turn, but not in the way Jack was expecting.

“Jack, if I don't bother you, then this doesn't bother me.”

“I want you to be safe though, don't want to make you, you know” He gestures to Jack's arm.

Because that's Alex's main concern. Not that Jack is likely just as crazy as he is, not that he's repulsed, just that he might hurt Jack's feelings enough that he'd pick it up again.

Jack's not sure what he's done to deserve someone like Alex in his life.

“There's nothing you could do to make that happen Alex, I promise.”

And it's true, even if Alex walks kicks him out of Zack's house right now, Jack wouldn't do it. He doesn't know what he'd do – but he'd find something else. He's worked too hard to ever go back, no matter how much he might want to.

Alex rests his forehead against the side of Jack's head then, thumb rubbing gentle circles on the hand of Jack's he's holding.

“I'll always be here if you want to talk.” He whispers.

And for the moment, that's more than enough for Jack.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's not too long after Alex and Jack have gone home and Rian's snuggled up in bed. Well, Zack's bed. (With Zack of course). They had plans to get out and jog off the fish and chips they'd had for lunch but they're yet to find the motivation to do so.

He's way more comfy here under the covers, chatting with Zack.

Eventually, talking turns into soft kisses under the blankets in the dark.

“Totally like a fort.” Zack had said.

In reality, it's way too hot under there and they keep missing each others lips because they can't see. Rian's having trouble concentrating on Zack anyway. It sounds terrible he knows, but he's worried about Alex. Alex is pretty much the only thing that can cockblock the two of them without actually being anywhere in the vicinity.

Zack must know too, because he heaves a sigh and pulls the doona back off them.

“Alright, out with it.” He says.

“Out with what?”

“The only time you're ever not into making out – fort or no fort, is when my parents are home or you're worried about Alex and my parents aren't here.”

Zack knows him too well.

“I can't help it, him and Jack are getting along great but they're just avoiding their actual feelings and i'm worried it'll hurt Alex in the long run. You know he's shit at hiding things and Jack keeps making that stupid face when he doesn't think Alex's looking and it's getting ridiculous.”

“Well,” Zack says, considering. “We could set them up on a date?”

“They'd have to actually yanno, confess that they like each for that to happen.”

“Maybe not a proper date, but an activity? Send them both to the arcade or paddleboating or something. There's that fair coming to town next week.”

Zack is a fucking genius.

“Babe,” Rian says, giving Zack a proper kiss this time. “You are a genius.”

“So i've been told.”

They hash out the details a little, decide that the fair is definitely the way to go. 'You know someone would end up in the river if they went paddleboating' Zack says, and it's true.

They're not sure how they're going to get the two of them to go alone – they need a good reason for him and Zack not to be joining them, but Operation: Get Jalex on A Date (Rian had nothing to do with the name, it's all Zack's fault) is on.

Zack sets aside the piece of paper they'd been making notes on.

“Now that they're sorted, want to finish what we started before?”

Rian is only too happy to oblige.


	16. Chapter 16

All in all, Rian's pretty pleased with how Operation: Get Jalex On A Date is going. They've planted the seeds – mentioning how cool it'd be to go to the fair, how it's a shame Zack's (non-existent) dentists appointment is Friday afternoon and that he'll be too drugged up for him and Rian to go.

Frankly, it'd be a lot easier if he could just tell either Alex or Jack that it's a set-up, but then it'd be ruined because one of them would be trying to hard. It has to be natural. Well, as natural as a set-up-date-by-your-friends can be.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's Friday night, and Jack's waiting anxiously by the gate to the fairgrounds for Alex. He's early – he's always fucking early to everything. He just hopes Alex turns up.

“Hey Jack!” He turns, and Alex is striding towards him, hand thrown out to wave at his dad as he pulls away from the kerb.

Jack isn't going to lie, Alex looks fucking hot. Tight black skinny jeans (Is that glitter running through them?), green and black checkered button up and his fringe coiffed into that effortless mess of a style that Jack only wishes he could achieve.

“Hey” Jack greets.

“So, where should we start?” Alex's says, the vibrant lights from the veritable menagerie of fair activities reflecting off his eyes and he's bouncing on the balls of his feet. He's the most precious thing Jack has ever seen.

“Dodgem cars?” Jack suggests, figures it's safe option – no ones going to throw up or be scared of dodgem cars. Also they're usually awesome.

“Fuck yes.”

The dodgem cars are awesome. They get separate cars (C'mon, who isn't going to miss the opportunity to slam your friend into other cars and walls in the name of fun?), Jack is ridiculously bad at driving and Alex feels bad for his mom who'll have to be his supervising driver in real life. He would not get in that car.

The teacups are next and Alex is thankful he hasn't eaten yet because he is so fucking dizzy right now.

Jack squeals besides him. “Oh my god i'm going to be sick Alex help!”

“If you throw up on me i'm pushing you out of the cup” He declares.

“You wouldn't.”

“Try me.”

He doesn't of course, but Jack didn't actually throw up so it's neither here nor there.

They stumble out of their cup, nearly falling face first off the edge of the saucer, leaning on each other for support, making stupid noises as they try to breathe through their manical laughter.

There are parents looking at them funny. The teacups are a very mature ride so fuck you, Alex thinks.

They end up at those stupid clown heads you put balls in and Jack wins a Rainbow Dash plush keychain, clips it to his belt and declares himself master of the balls. Jack is a crazy guy. Alex may or may not be completely head over heels for him.

They're debating whether to join the line for the haunted house or try balloon shooting when suddenly Jack's dragging him in and out of the maze of people.

“Jack, what?”

Jack skids to stop then, staring at the huge fairy floss stall. He's never seen such a stall, didn't know they existed. The only fairy floss he's familiar with you can buy in the plastic barrels at the grocery store. This is magic.

“Wow.” He says.

Alex is confused. “Have you...not seen fairy floss before?”

“I didn't know they had entire stalls for it, our town didn't have fairs!” Jack says indignantly.

Alex laughs, shoves him towards the counter. “You'd better get some then, can't have you missing out on the wonder that is fresh floss”

“You want some too?” Jack asks, then immediately realises that he's an insensitive dick. Fairy floss is literally pure sugar. No matter what Alex says, it can't be good for him and Jack's just flaunting it in his face. Nice move there, Barakat.

“Nah, i'm good – but you definitely get some, we'll go snack hunting for me while you eat it”

Alex is way too good to him.

“Are you sure?”

Alex shoves him towards the counter. “Just fucking buy some already.”

“Get the pink one though, it tastes better.”

It's true, blue fairy floss is just kind of eh compared to the pink.

Jack does get the pink. He can't help but make those ridiculous 'mmm' noises you usually only ever hear on TV ads. It's been so long and it's so delicious and if fairy floss was person Jack would seriously consider marriage.

He turns guiltily to Alex then as they walk, and Alex just rolls his eyes.

“Help me find food that isn't going to rot my teeth out.” Is all he says.

After finding a salad sandwich for Alex (Lame, but Alex had seemed happy enough so Jack'll go with it), they find an empty bench in the shadow of one of the trucks, the lights and noise of the fair a backdrop to the crisp night air.

They sit, and Alex pulls out his test strips, meter and lancet from three separate pockets.

“Dude, you're like a freaking chipmunk or something” Jack says, just to break the silence.

Alex snorts. “Just be thankful i'm not carrying a handbag or some shit.”

"I'd totally carry it for you." Jack is totally a chivalrous guy. Whatever that means.

They end up splitting the sandwich first, fairy floss stick held carefully between Jack's knees., 'Can't have your mom saying I only feed you sugar' Alex says.

Jack shivers a little, it's getting cool. Alex notices, gives him a grin before sliding up closer to him, fingers reaching out to tear a chunk out of Jack's fairy floss, shoving it into his mouth.

Okay, so Alex can totally appreciate Jack's sentiments towards fairy floss. Obviously, it's something he tends to avoid but damnit, he loves the way it goes from soft and delicate to a giant sticky mess and he adores strawberry.

“I see how it is” Jack says. “You just want me for my floss.”

Alex looks up at him, “Damn right.”

Alex's lips are tinted pink and shiny and Jack can't help himself, leans forwards and presses his lips to Alex's.

Alex sort of flails backward, the bench they're sitting on isn't quite wide enough. All Jack feels is Alex pulling away, staring at him wide eyed.

“Fuck Alex, I didn't mean to -”

“Hey no, it's okay, more than okay actually.” Alex says.

“It's just, maybe-” He shuffles even closer to Jack, slides an arm around him. (Just to brace himself so he doesn't fall again of course)

“Maybe we could try again like this?”

Jack is so fucking down with that.

It's not perfect, they're both kind of parallel as to not fall off the bench and there's this one kid screaming his lungs out in the background, but Alex's lips are soft and just slightly sticky and strawberry-y (Which is totally a word) and as far as first kisses go, Jack is counting this one as a success.

In a perfect irony, they're interrupted by Jack's phone going off. It's a text from Zack asking how their nights going.


	17. Chapter 17

Jack's mom comes to pick them up and stealing the last chunk of Jack's fairy floss, Alex bolts to the car and calls shotgun. The fucker. They keep eyeing each other in the mirror all the way home, looking away whenever they make eye contact. When questioned, they both make a point not to mention the events leading up the kiss or the kiss itself.

He texts Zack; "Busy, fuck off' and gets only a smiley face in return.

They're in the kitchen then, (Alex is sleeping over and it's going to be awesome) arguing over who gets the Star Wars glass (Jack doesn't care if Alex is the guest, it's his fucking cup)

“Cmon Jack i'm totally the guest it's mine”

“Nuh-uh, it's mine because I live here and because I live here it's mine!”

“I'll tell your mom you're not sharing” Alex says seriously. “I'll bet she'll let me have it.”

“You wouldn't.” Alex would totally not tell on him. Telling on people is for little kids. And snitches.

Alex runs to the living room. “Joyce! Joyce!”

Fuck.

Jack's mom looks up from her book, eyeing them over the top of her glasses.

“Yes Alex?”

“Jack's not sharing.”

Jack punches Alex in the arm, hard.

“Ow!” Alex yelps. “And he's hitting me!”

“Jack Barakat I raised you to show proper hospitalilty in this house and by god you will if I have to put you over my knee to do so!”

Joyce Barakat is not a woman to be messed with.

They head back into the kitchen, Jack looking thoroughly chastised.

Alex smirks at him. “Hand it over, Jacky” Alex is pure evil.

They make their way up to Jack's room then, Jack giving a cursory tour of the house as they go. 'This room has boxes, and so does this one, and this is where I pee, and here's more boxes'

Him and his mom aren't the best unpackers ever. If it's not essential, it's probably still boxed up.

As they walk into his room Jack does his best to stealthily slide a pile of dirty clothes under his bed. (Which is at least made so he's not completely disorganised)  
Alex sits on the bottom edge of the bed, teeth biting into his bottom lip as he clutches his glass and oh yeah, the whole kissing at the fair thing.

“So.” Jack starts, because he's an eloquent motherfucker.

“Yeah.” Alex says. “I like your room.”

“I like your room too.”

And god, you could probably cut the awkwardness in here with a freaking butter knife. Alex and him have never, ever been so conversationally stitled.  
Jack's willing to take one for the team.

“Alex, I kinda really like you.”

Alex's teeth dig further into his lip. And fuck. What if Jack has been reading this all wrong. What if Alex only kissed him back out of obligation?

But then Alex is looking up at him, properly looking at him – eyes unwavering in their focus.

“I kinda really like you back.” He says quietly. His eyes never leave Jack's but Jack can see how white his knuckles are around the glass.

He's not quite sure where to go from here. Kissing – check, mutual attraction – check, what now? Maybe more kissing. Alex doesn't seem to have anything to contribute beyond moving his stare into the depths of the glass.

“C-can, can I kiss you again?”

Alex doesn't answer, just leans forward and beats Jack to it and it's a definate improvement on last time, except for the fact that Alex is holding a glass still half full of water and they're both paranoidly avoiding touching each other for fear of spilling it.

Jack pulls away this time, figures that maybe although kissing is good, it's not really a decision and he'd really like to know where he stands.

“Boyfriends?”

Maybe not. Alex looks kind of tense.

“We don't have to define it if you want.”

“No” Alex says, suddenly determined.

“If you want me as your boyfriend, I want you as mine and we shouldn't fucking be ashamed to say it because I think you're fucking great Jack, I really do”

It's a side of Alex Jack wishes he got to see more of. This Alex who is more than confident, self-assured and unashamed of who he is. Hell, Jack wishes he could be more like this side of Alex. Unfortunately, Jack can see whatever strength Alex had summoned to speak has disappeared again into a haze of uncertainty.

Relationship defined, they settle in Jack's bed (No pillow wall person this time) listening to the sound of fireworks from the fairs midnight showing.

Alex lets out a contented sigh (Well, it's either contentment or boredom and Jack is not boring, okay) and reaches down to link his fingers with Jack's.

“You're really my boyfriend.” He says quietly, like he's trying to convince himself this isn't some elaborate scheme of Jack's to break his heart.

“Well yeah, if you'll have me.”

“But why?”

Jack wants to kill whoever's made Alex like this.

“Because you're gorgeous and smart and funny and sweet and did I mention gorgeous?”

Jack can feel Alex smile against his neck.

“But, i'm so much effort and what if you want to do something and I can't because i'm low or scared or whatever? Alex's sentence comes out in whispered rush, and there is no doubt in Jack's mind that if he ever meets the people who hurt Alex like this he won't hesitate to hurt them.

“Alex, look at me.”

It takes a moment, but Alex is shifting, eyes hesitantly flicking up to Jack's and then away.

“Actually look at me.”

He does.

“Alex being with you isn't going to be burden, it just makes you more attractive that you care so much about yourself, it makes me happy to see that. You deserve so much more than some lanky dude with nose the size of a small planet, but I want to be there for you, even if we can't drown our sorrows in ice cream and chocolate cake all the time. You're beautiful, and I want you to be mine.”

Jack's pretty sure he's just recreated one of those cliché chick-flick speeches, but he doesn't care. He adores Alex and it's probably time he knew it.

“You fucker.” Alex whispers, face hidden by his fringe and Jack can't quite see his expression.

Jack reaches to lift Alex's chin up, and godamnit he's made Alex cry.

“Fuck. I'll uhm, tissue?” He stretches a hand out the box on his side table, passes one to Alex.

Alex reaches for him then, arms wrapped crushingly tight around Jack's middle.

“Jack fuck, I don't think I have the words, but I want this to work. I want to trust you. Is that enough?”

Of course it's enough. How could it not be? Like Jack wouldn't give Alex all the chances in the world.


	18. Chapter 18

Breakfast is kind of awkward to say the least, Jack's mom is yet to leave for work and she keeps coming into the kitchen eyeing them suspiciously like she knows somethings up.

Thankfully, she leaves just as Jack as pouring the milk into his tea. (He likes tea okay, he doesn't know why, but he does.)

“So, what do you want for breakfast – it's usually whatever's leftover but I don't think mom actually made anything last night”

“Dunno, what are you having?”

They have Cheerio's (His moms) and Cookie Crisp (Jacks) and well, that's about it.

Jack reaches for the top cabinet, pulling out the boxes of cereal, sliding them across the table.

He watches Alex flip the boxes over, stands behind and rests his head on his shoulder.

“Whatcha looking at?”

“Jus' seeing which one's better”

“It's clearly the cookie crisp”

“I've never tried it before, I mean really, I don't think cookies for breakfast is a great start to the day.”

Jack feels kind of sad for Alex, sugary breakfast cereal is pretty much the only reason to wake up in the morning.

Alex picks up the box of Cheerio's then, eyes it contemplatively.

“Cheerio's, really?” Jack makes a face.

“There's enough sugar in the cookie crisp to keep me going for week, so Cheerio's it is” Alex jokes, and it's kind of alarming how true it is. No wonder kids are crazy these days.

“But they're disgusting.”

“They're not so bad – actually no, they are pretty gross” Alex admits.

“Dude, if you don't like them I can make toast or something, i'm no masterchef but I can work the toaster”

Alex laughs. “Well, if it's not too much trouble that'd be great.”

Jack slides his arm around Alex's shoulders, pulls him into a loose hug.

“Alex, making you toast is not going to ruin us, okay? If you can't eat something that's cool, we can always negotiate as long as I still get cookie crisp in the mornings.”

Alex makes his own toast, insists that Jack makes a start on his cereal as he methodically slices and butters and speads as the pieces pop out of the toaster.

He tests, then spins around to stare at Jack.

“Mhpmh?” Jack mumbles around his mouthful of cereal.

“Can I try some?” He's not high enough that a mouthful of cereal is going to do anything and c'mon – it's practically cookies in milk, he definitely wants a taste.

Jack raises an eyebrow, but obligiinly holds out his spoonful to Alex, who takes a mouthful.

He chews slowly, thoughtfully.

“What's the verdict?”

“It's uhm” Alex continues to chew. “It's okay. I can actually feel the grains of sugar in my mouth from the choc chips, it's weird.”

“That's totally the best part.” Jack says.

They eat together in mostly silence, just Jack crunching away. Alex checks his phone, there's a few messages from Rian and Zack he hadn't bothered to reply to other than to assure them he wasn't dead. They worry.

“So hey, Zack and Ri wanna know if you're down for heading the skatepark later on?”

Jack's chewing pauses.

“You can board?”

“Not really, i'm the ever faithful giver of motivational advice, also the halfpipe is like a giant slide”

Jack snorts. “Sounds good, you wanna borrow my extra board and i'll try and spread some of my wisdom”

“Psh, what wisdom?”

Jack flicks some milk off his spoon onto Alex's face.

“Brodude, I am totally the next Tony Hawk – I can hang ten with the best of them.”

If it wasn't for the glint in Jack's eye, Alex would think he was comepletely serious.

“You're an idiot.”

“But i'm your idiot”

“Seems that way.”

The sun is just heading towards the horizon when they make it to the park, Alex toting Jack's spare skateboard (Transformers themed because he's cool like that)

“Alex!” Zack yells, “You're alive!”

“No Zack, i'm dead.” Alex deadpans, pulling him into a hug as he says it.

“Hey: Rian greets, and Jack lifts his hand into an awkhard hi-five-wave sort of thing.

Rian eyes the skateboard Alex is holding.

“Lex, please tell me you're not going to try again, I thought we dicusssed that this isn't your sport you clumsy fuck”

“I'm not clumsy!”

“Whatever you say.”

Alex is clumsy. Jack spends a good ten minutes just trying to get him to stand properly, he doesn't understand – it's not that fucking hard.

“It's a lost cause Jack, we've been trying for years” Zack says.

Jack might just agree with him.

Alex steps off the board, lets go of his death grip on Jack (A grip which Jack was definitely not complaining about, clingy don't-wanna-fall Alex is adorable)

“It's true, you go and have your fun and i'll watch you like the dutiful friend I am.”

Skating with Zack is awesome. He's pretty damn good, and he helps Jack figure out how to nail that half-turn he's been trying to do since before they moved. Rian stays with them for the first part, he can go and stop and turn and he's happy enough to just avoid all the obstacles and potter about before ditching them and heading to sit with Alex.

“You teach Rian?” He askes Zack.

“Yeah, since we first met, he's kind of plateau'd though, but at least he's safe to take down the street”

Alex watches Zack and Jack from on to top of the halfpipe, it's one of his favourite places. The metal is always cold no matter the time of year, and it's nice to dangle his legs off the edge.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Rians voice comes from below him, starting to clamber up the steel steps.

“Only if you're giving me the penny before I start talking.”

“So, how did last night go?

“It was fine, we rode the teacups, had some fairy floss”

Psh. Fine. Like Alex thinks that Rian can't tell something happened.

“Spill, I know somethings up”

“JackandImighthavekissedandhemayhaveaskedmetobehisboyfriend.” Alex mumbles. Fortunately Rian is well versed in Alex translation.

“You said yes, right?”

Alex looks down at his shoes.

“Alexander William, for the love of god tell me you said you yes.”

He looks up at Rian and grins, and it's proper fucking smile too, one that Rian hasn't seen in a while.

“I said yes.”

Rian gives an obnoxious whoop, causing Jack and Zack to look up at them curiously.

“Shut up, we haven't even talked about telling anyone yet”

“Like he doesn't know that you're telling me right now.”

It's true, Jack's just given him a thumbs up from across the park. Alex sighs, so much for keeping anything that happens in his life a secret.

“Slide with me?” He asks Rian, turning his body so his feet are facing down the half-pipe itself.

“Why the fuck not” Rian holds out a hand, and they slide down together, falling into a giggling heap at the bottom.


	19. Chapter 19

It's officially winter now and Jack's absolutely fucking freezing. Seriously. He's so cold that he's temporarily relocated to the living room to be closer to the fire. (They have a fireplace, it's pretty snazzy)

It's not helping his mood any, and it's certainly not helping with the lack of sleep he's been getting lately. It happens sometimes, like his body gives up on eating and sleeping and acquiesces to doing them only when absolutely necessary. It makes Jack feel awesome.

Around 4am he gives up, goes into the kitchen (In his snuggie, he loves that thing), makes himself a cup of coffee. Or three.  
(If he's going to be awake, he at least needs to be coherent) and retreats back to watch infomericals till the sun comes up. It's gonna be a great day.

The school day passes slowly, Jack floating through classes not learning anything other than how to look like you're learning when you're not.

Alex corners him after third period.

“Everything okay?”

Alex's concerned face is sweet.

“Yeah, just not getting much sleep.”

“Come over?” Hmm. It's not like not-sleeping at Alex's house could be worse than not-sleeping at his own. There's the added bonus of yanno, Alex.

“I don't have any pajamas or anything”

“You can borrow some of mine”

He texts his mom, who is a little concerned about sleepovers on school nights, but eventually she agrees, knows that he could use a proper nights rest.

They have an afternoon snack (You're never too old for afternoon snacks) – peanut butter and celery, it's not a combination Jack would've ever thought of but damn if it isn't delicious.

“So,” Alex says, tongue swiping down the length of his celery stick to get the peanut butter out. (Is he trying to kill Jack here?)

“What's keeping you up at night?”

Jack shrugs. If he knew that, he'd probably be able to sleep.

“It just happens and I can't snap out of it, and i'm so tired by my mind is awake, yanno?”

Alex just nods and honestly, Jack loves how he doesn't press the issue, just accepts Jack's answer.

“C'mon, we'll get you all tucked in for an afternoon nap”

“You're coming too, right?”

“Fuck yeah, naps are awesome especially in this weather”

Jack sleeps pretty soundly, at least he doesn't wake up when Alex heads down for dinner, and he doesn't have the heart to wake him.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jack is stupidly warm when he wakes up. He never wants to stop sleeping with Alex ever. He tries to roll over except, well, he's stuck. Or at least his hand is.  
He lifts up the doona and stares at his hand curiously. Oh. Somehow, in some magical fashion he's tangled in Alex's pump tube. He has no fucking idea how this happened, Alex usually sleeps on his side with his pump clipped in to middle of his pants so he doesn't roll on it. He lifts Alex's shirt. It's not there. Apparently together they're so hot they must've thrashed around during the night. Excellent.

He tries to disentangle his hand, but he's prettty sure Alex is lying on his pump and there's not enough loose tubing to set him free. Well, maybe if he pulls a little. Nope. He pulls harder, then realises that hey moron, the other end is connected to Alex so stop pulling it you dick.

There's nothing to do but wake Alex, who's still sleeping peacefully, face smooshed into his pillow.

“Alex” Jack shoves at his shoulder.

“Muh?” Alex turns to face him.

“I'm stuck.”

“Stuck where?” Alex looks so confused and sleepy and Jack wants to just cuddle him back to sleep. Which he will, when they're unstuck.

He lifts his hand into Alex's line of vision, whose eyes widen.

“I don't even want to know how you managed that” He mumbles.

“So that's what that lump was” He continues, pulling his pump out from under his back, tracing the tubing back and freeing Jack.

“I kind of tugged on it a bit, before I remembered it's connected to you.”

Alex lifts his shirt up, gives the site an experimental poke.

“S'all good, sleep now?”

“Sleep now.”

It feels like Jack's just fallen asleep when Alex's alarm goes off, sun streaming through the curtains in an illusion of warmth. Fuck.

Breakfast at Alex's is strangely methodical, Jack just kind of sits back and watches Alex neatly measure out his milk and cereal.

“Do you always measure everything out like that?” Jack hasn't seen him do it before, Alex just makes his cereal like a normal person whenever they're together. Maybe he's supposed to do it like this and he hasn't been.

“Usually”

“But you don't when you're with me”

Alex shrugs non-committally. “I didn't want you to think that I was weird or anything, but I guess you already know that so...” He trails of.

“Are you supposed to do it all the time?”

Alex shrugs again. “Depends, sometimes it's just easier to know exactly what i'm eating rather than guessing – especially breakfast cause if you fuck that up, it's gonna be a long day.”

“You can measure whatever you want Alex, my mom has like a rainbow set of measuring cups i'm sure she'd be happy for you to use them, god knows I don't cook anything"

Alex flashes him a smile. “Thanks.”

At school, of which there is only a few weeks before they break for holidays, band practice is ramping up. Well, Jack is not calling it band. It's more of an impromptu orchestra with guitars and drums. Very new age. There actually is someone who plays the french horn, some freshman whose name Jack can never remember.

It's Tuesday morning practice and Mr Patterson walks in, claps his hands to gather their attention.

“Since both of our choirs have made it to the eisteddford, i'm going to need a volunteer to sing the national anthem because well, the people who usually do are in choir, strangely enough”

The room is silent. There's a reason Jack plays auitar, he can't sing for shit, even it's just to accompany himself.

Mr Pattersons eyes land on their group.

“Alex? Or maybe Jack?”

“I can't sing for shit.” He says, this is one of the few classes that swearing is permitted, and Jack likes to take advantage of that.

But Alex, Alex can sing?

Alex pouts. “Do I have too?”

“Well I can't force you”

“Do I get a present if I do?”

Mr Patterson heaves a long suffering sigh and Jack thinks this isn't the first time they've had this conversation.

“Do a proper job and i'll get you out of PE for a fortnight.”

Damn. That's a good deal. Jack wishes he could sing, but he'd probably pick up extra PE time for his trouble.

“Jack too.”

Alex is the best friend.

“Deal.”

Jack doesn't play this assembly, no need for guitar in the national anthem so he watches from the front row 'friend of the band' he says, squeezing in next Mrs Wake from his history class. Rian's up there with his drums, and Zack with his cello. He's not sure what Alex's singing voice would like. What if he has a crazy falsetto or something?

Jack needn't have worried. Only Alex could make the national anthem sound so damn good. By the time he's at 'broad stripes and bright stars' Jack pretty much wants to remove him from the stage and kiss him senseless. And get to him be Jack's very own karaoke machine.

He waits after the assembly is over to corner Alex backstage.

“You” He kisses Alex's nose. “Didn't tell me you could sing like that”

Alex blushes and mumbles something about not being very good. Jack swats at him, of course Alex wouldn't think he was good.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The week before holidays start, Alex confesses that he's not gonna be there for the last few days of school, much to Jack's dismay.

“Where are you going, you abandoning abandoner?”

“Just up to New York, we try and schedule all my doctors appointments on the same day and get it over and done with.”

“So you're basically abandoning me here to die in the cold?”

“I'm sure there's cute boys in New York”

“Fuck you”

Two days before Alex is set to abandon Jack in his time of winter-cuddling-need they're in the basement. Not in a creepy way, just there's an old gas heater along the wall and last week his mom had picked up an ugly but really fucking comfy lounge which him and Alex and currently snuggling on.

Mostly, they're just scrolling throught their phones, checking Facebook and Twitter and playing Angry Birds but eventually Alex sighs and sets his phone down.

“What's up?” Jack says.

'Jus thinking” Alex says, fluttering his eyelashes in too deliberate a way to be coincidence. Jack's heart beats a little faster in his chest.

“About?”

“This.”

Alex slides onto Jack's lap, their foreheads pressed together and just kisses him. Who knew Alex would be so forward? (Not that Jack is complaining, not at all.)

Now this is definitely better than playing with his phone. Alex looks good on top of him, eyes dark. He kisses back, slides his tongue along Alex's bottom lip and takes control, arms wrapping around Alex's waist, pressing them closer together.

This isn't kissing anymore, they're totally making out. He's making out with Alex. Holy fuck this is quite possibly the most awesome day ever. At least top ten.

They make out for a while, till Alex's lips are red and he's panting against Jack's chest, hips moving in little hitching movements against Jack's own.

Jacks not sure how far they're gonna take this. See the thing is, Jack's been all the way with both guys and girls. He likes sex as much as the next person, providing they like sex a lot. He just doesn't want to pressure Alex into anything, doesn't know how far Alex has gone. It's probably something they'll have to talk about eventually, but either way Jack wants to make his and Alex's first time together a good one and not in a basement on the worlds ugliest cough.

“Hey, hey” He pulls away from Alex a little.

“Hm?” Alex tilts his head questioningly.

“I'm definitely not saying we should stop or anything, but I don't wanna rush you into anything” He's blushing as he says it, better at actions more so than words.

Alex runs his tongue along the shell of Jack's ear, making him shiver.

“Jack, i'm not exactly the blushing virgin you're making me out to be”

And oh. Oh.

“Well then.” Jack tries for suave, but the amusement on Alex's face suggests he didn't make it.

“I appreciate your chivalry though.” He says. Jack really needs look up what that word means.

It gets serious then, they've pretty much given each other permission to get off and they're going for it, Alex making these gorgeous little noises into Jack's mouth and his thigh in just the right place against Jack.

He slides a hand down to Alex's ass and squeezes, pulls him even tighter against him, keeps his other hand around Alex's neck to keep them locked in a bruising kiss.

Jack comes first (Seriously, have you seen Alex? He's thinking he's going pretty well), pulling away from Alex's mouth to let out a long, low groan. Alex stills against him, “Fuck no, come on” Jack says, and tries to ignore how amusing his choice of words is in the current situation.

He tries to angle himself so that Alex isn't pressed against him and more that his knee is in exactly the right spot for Alex (He's sensitive okay, doesn't really need Alex rubbing his jeans against him even more right now) and it works like a charm. Alex comes, head resting against Jack's chest and saying his name in this husky way that should probably be illegal.


	20. Chapter 20

Alex texts Jack intermittently throughout the day, stupid little nonsense things like how he had hot chocolate and that a new nurse had poked him in the eye but he'd gotten a sugar-free lollipop out of the deal and Jack texts him back until Alex can't reply any more cause he can't see the screen because of the eye drops they use to examine his eyes.

On the car ride home he's exhausted from being poked and prodded (And eyeball stabbed) and talking about his feelings and everything's fucking blurry. But at least it's done for another few months.

“Alexander?” His father is shaking his shoulder.

“Where are we?” He slurs.

“Home, you slept most of the way back.”

Alex groans and stumbles out into the cold on a one way track to his bed.

His mom meets him at the door though, and although he knows he has to eat dinner he doesn't want to because he's fucking tired okay, he justs wants to sleep some more. But no, he has something to eat like a good boy.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jack goes to visit Alex the next day, finds him still curled up in bed around 11am, had to go round the back because Alex apparently wasn't coming down to open the front door for him.

“Hey, are you okay?”

Alex's eyes open and he peers up at Jack.

“Fuck, your eyes is that normal?”

Oh yeah. Alex forgot that the after effects of those awesome eye drops is that he looks like a crazy drugged up hobo, all wide pupiled and bloodshot.

“S'fine, just cause of the eye drops they put in for some test” He knows he sounds kind of grumpy, but he can't help it. He's still so tired. And kind of warm.

“Come snuggle with me?” He pulls the doona off and immediately feels cooler. Which is weird, because Jack has about seventeen hoodies and three beanies on. And it's winter.

Jack moves to climb in next to him, but pauses.

“Uhm, Alex, is you being all sweaty a side effect too cause it's like 15 degrees out”

Alex reaches a hand to his forehead, he is kind of gross. He thinks back to last night, know's he had dinner and he definitely bolused for it before bed. He reaches for his pump, scrolling through, tries to focus on the screen. God fucking damnit. He'd been so tired he hadn't bothered to check that it had gone through and a 'No Delivery' is staring devilishly back at him. So god knows how high he is right now.  
Splendid.

He doesn't have time for this shit.

“Alex, you okay?”

Jack's voice pulls him out of his inner monologue.

“Can you,” He tries to think of how Jack can help him out here, his thoughts moving slowly like he's stuck in a puddle of maple syrup. “In the fridge, where the eggs go there's a couple boxes, one of them probably says like March or something, can you get it?”

Jack nods, “Anything else?”

Alex shakes his head, and Jack disappears.

He stumbles to bathroom then, fills a cup with water and gulps it down before heading back into his room to test. Fuck. How didn't he wake up? What if Jack hadn't come over? This is why he doesn't sleep in.

Jack returns then, box containing a bottle of insulin in hand and Alex takes it from him, rests it on the nightstand. On any other occasion he'd switch out his site and try again, but he wants this knocked over fucking now.

Of course, he can't remember exactly where he's put those spare syringes he keeps. There's some downstairs, but he's sure he has some up here for just this occasion.

He finds them in the bottom of his 'diabetes junk' draw, unwraps one and sets about drawing the insulin into it.

“You might not wanna watch” He tells Jack, who's been watching silently.

“It's cool, you need me to do anything?”

Alex gestures to the pack of alcholol wipes besides him, “Can you like, just here” He lifts his shirt up, nudges the soft area just near his hips as he flicks the bubbles out of the syringe. Well, Jack asked.

Jack hesitantly swipes the wipe over Alex's warm skin, can't help but feel a little overwhelmed. Knowing and seeing the reality of Alex's illness is very different.

It's over pretty quickly, and Jack half expects the spot to bleed but it doesn't. He watches Alex drink the rest of his water, goes and refills the cup for him cause really, he does look like shit.

“Anything else I can do?”

Alex shakes his head, pats the bed beside him. “Jus' come sit for a bit.”

They sit there for a few minutes before Alex reaches out for his meter again, hoping the number has been knocked down substantially. It's getting there. He doesn't feel quite so hot now, the sweat turning tacky against his skin. Ew. And Jack is totally okay to sit with him, Alex has definitely won the lottery here.

Later, he sends Jack downstairs to start lunch while showers and he changes his site, insulin not getting through cause theres blood all gunked up on the plastic needle point. (Also Ew. It's been a gross kind of day)

He heads dwn to the kitchen, finds Jack sitting on one of the benchtops scrolling through his phone.

“Better?” Jack asks.

“Much.” He says, nuzzling into Jack's side.

“What are you making?”

Jack shrugs. “I don't live here so I have no idea. What are we having Alex?”

Truthfully, Alex doesn't feel like eating at all. But still, he heads to the fridge and peers into it, considering.

“Left over rice from last night okay?”

“I don't remember rice?”

“Yeah, you slept through the night, I didn't have the heart to wake you even if you were drooling my pillow”

“I was not.”

Alex snorts. “Whatever you say, droolface.”

Jack moves to the living room, they don't really have any plans for the rest of the day. He browses the bookshelf against the wall, fingers running over copies of novels both old and new, and hey, about 17 different books on diabetes. They must chronicle Alex's life he realises, from 'What to do when your child is diagnosed' to guidebooks on insulin pumps and calorie counting to 'Type 1 Diabetes for Dummies' Jack figures that's probably a book he could actually read and understand. It makes Jack feel really, well, he's not sure. But he knows his own life couldn't be chronicled by books on a shelf defining what's wrong with him.

“Hey Alex?” He call into the kitchen, can hear Alex still washing up.

“Can I borrow one of these books?”

Alex comes into living room, wiping his hands on a dishcloth.

“Sure, take whatever you want. Unless it's one of those Danielle Steel novels, I promise you the sex scenes are lame and not worth it.”

Jack snickers, pulls the book from the shelf, holds it out for Alex to see.

“I was kinda thinking this one, actually.”

“Oh.” Alex rests the dishcloth on one of those fancy schmancy ornamental tables sitting around the room, and steps over to Jack's side.

“I think I lent this one to Zack when we first met” He muses, taking the book from Jack and flipping through the pages.

“Yeah, see?” Jack leans over to see the page Alex has open, see's a ridiculous stick figure drawing of what is presumably the three of them, all well endowed holding hands. He laughs, it's called 'The Three Dickskerteers'

“That's brilliant”

“Yup, Rian is quite the artist. But anywhere, here” He hands the book back to Jack.

“Knock yourself out” Really, it makes Alex feel all warm and fuzzy that Jack is actually interested in learning more, after all that he's seen. It'll probably be a weight off Rian's mind as well, the worrier.

They settle on the lounge, Alex reading their book for english. (Jack is yet to start, and frankly 'The Catcher In The Rye' sounds like a porno he wouldn't really want to see)

He was right about this book suiting him, there's little cartoons and pictures and everything is explained with little bubbles pointing to word meanings. He catches Alex looking at him over the top of his book a few times, a hesitant look on his face.

“I just wanna you know, learn what to do and stuff, it's not gonna scare me away”

He smiles, and Alex smiles back at him.

In reality, as he gets further into the book, he's pretty fucking terrified. Now that he objectively knows that Alex was high this morning, and low that time during PE and what could actually happen, he's scared. What if Alex can't tell him what to do and he doesn't know? Ignorance might be bliss after all.

It makes a lump form in Jack's throat, one that he can't swallow away. He doesn't want Alex to go blind or die in his sleep or go into a coma that he never wakes up from and he knows that it's the worst, worst case scenario but that doesn't make it any less real.

He fuck, maybe he can't deal with this as well as he thought.

“Jack?” Alex's voice pierces through his thoughts, and as Jack turns to look at him he thinks he might actually cry.

“Hey, what's wrong?” Alex is dropping his book and coming to sit by him, gentle hand on his knee.

“You, and everything” He shows Alex the page.

“What if you need my help and I do something wrong, what if this happens?

“Oh Jack,” Alex immediately pulls him into a hug. “It's okay, I swear i'm okay.”

“But you're not!” Jack's voice cracks then into an awkward whisper.

“I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have left you to read it alone” Alex is rubbing circles on Jack's back but it's not really making him feel any better.

“I don't want you to be sick” Jack says finally.

Alex sighs, kisses the top of Jack's head.

“And I don't want to be sick, but that's just the way things are. I can't promise that nothing bad's ever going to happen, I wish I could, but you have to know those things are pretty rare”

Jack doesn't feel reassured.

“Did you maybe want to talk to Rian? He can at least explain things better than I can if you have questions.”

Jack nods. Maybe that'd help. He doesn't think he could sit here and grill Alex on the details, he's already living it, probably doesn't need a pop quiz about what could kill him today. Rian is a safe option to get the answers he's looking for. He's seriously done with book, thankyou very much.

“Now, or later? As far as I know he's doing fuck all today.”

“No time like the present, hey” Jack tries to lighten the mood a little, but it's a shitty attempt.

Alex humours him with a small smile, reaches for his phone to text Rian and then focuses back on Jack.

“I'm really happy you're still here even with all this” He says quietly, hands making a roundabout gesture that Jack supposes represents his life.

Jack pulls him into what's quickly becoming a regular pastime of theirs, stupidly tight emotionally driven hugs.

“I promise i'm not going anywhere, no matter what.”


	21. Chapter 21

It's a good half an hour they spend silently curled on the lounge before Rian shows up, Zack in tow. Jack's calmed down considerably, tries to focus on the actual facts here. Math he can deal with, surely?

Rian takes off his coat and hangs it on the coat rack. (Seriously, Alex's house has a coat rack, it's fucking crazy)

Jack's not sure why Zack is here, and why he's not taking his coat off. (Hello, coat rack?)

“Alex, wanna come for a walk with me?” Ah, so that's what Zack is for.

Alex looks at him, tilts his head in question, like Jack is going to make him stay here for this. He nods.

“Sure, just lemme get my coat.” Alex says.

Zack and Alex head out into the cold, both him and Rian waving like housewives farewelling their husbands.

“Come back before you freeze!” Rian yells after them. He's going to make the best dad ever.

Rian walks into the kitchen then, pours himself a glass of water and sits down at the table, pats the seat next to him. Jack sits.

“So, what's up? Alex just said you wanted to talk to me.”

“I picked up this book cause I wanted to learn more, but now i'm scared of what might happen” He says, half expecting for Rian to be upset with him, tell him that this is what he signed up for in the beginning so man the fuck up, but he doesn't.

“It's okay to be afraid.” Is all he says.

“Are you sure, because you and Zack and Alex's parents seem totally fine with the fact that Alex might not wake up one day.”

Rian squeezes his shoulder.

“Jack, it's a fucking scary thought for all of us. Especially Alex's parents, he's their son and there's nothing they can do except plan and hope for the best. It's what we all have to do. You might not realise it, but it's only recently that they've let Alex be in charge, make his own decisions about his body and it's been really hard for them. We're all worried about the what-if's, but you can't let it effect your relationship with him, he doesn't want that for you.”

It's not something Jack had ever considered. He's only ever seen Alex as being independent, hadn't thought about the fact that his parents would've been the ones to deal with all of this when he was just a little kid, to know that if weren't watching him every second of the day things could go straight off the rails.

It's also news that Alex is worried about Jack being worried. He feels like a selfish asshole, and justifiably so.

“I-I didn't mean to sound so selfish about it, I know that you all care about him, I just, I don't even know.” He says, frustrated. He doesn't know what his questions actually are, he's just a bit overwhelmed, maybe.

“Okay, let's try this,” Rian says. “What's the thing you're most worried about, right now?”

“That I won't know what to do if it's just me and Alex and he can't tell me.”

“As far as I know, it's really unlikely that Alex won't be able to let you know what's up. He might not make a whole lot of sense, but you'll be able to follow along, and you can always call me or Zack or his parents. ”

Jack hears the front door open then, figures it must be Alex and Zack back from their 'walk'. It's Alex's dad.

“Rian, Jack” He greets,putting a bag of groceries on the table, and Jack watches his eyes flick across the room.

“Is everything alright, where's Alex?”

“Alex's fine, he's out with Zack at the moment, just explaining a few things to Jack” Rian says quickly.

“Actually, maybe you could help me out a bit, if that'd be okay and you've got time.” He continues.

Alex's dad eyes them contemplatively.

“Let me make a cup of tea and i'll try my best” He says.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“So, what'd Jack need to talk to Rian about, secret boyfriend stuff?” Zack starts as they head down down the street, hands jammed in their pokcets to keep them from freezing. Alex really needs a pair of mittens or something.

“He's worried i'm going to die my sleep, thanks to that wonderful book I lent you” Alex says flatly.

“Oh yeah, that book was pretty scaremongering. You did explain that that's not going to happen, right?"

“Yeah, but he was just so upset I though it'd sound better coming from Rian.”

Alex hopes that Rian can help Jack out, doesn't want Jack to be worried about him like this, doesn't think he could deal with that.

“Fair enough.” Zack says, "Rian gives that impression of infinite knowledge even when he's a giant dork."

“How are you guys, anyway? Kissed him yet?" He continues, stopping still on the pavement to wait for Alex's answer.

Alex blushes at the memory of that afternoon in the basement.

Zack looks positively gleeful. “You minx! You've been doing a lot more than that!” He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.

“It's nothing, how are you and Rian?” Alex tries to deflext the conversation, know it's fruitless but he likes to try just the same.

“Trust me dude, I don't want the details, as long as Jack's making you happy and you're getting some, that's all I need to know.”

“Also, i'm getting plently, thanks for asking.”

Alex laughs, and it's a weight lifted off his chest for the moment. Him and Zack can fuck around for a while while Rian and Jack talk about him. He's okay with that, it's nice to not be on the other end of the conversation for once.

They amble around the block, Alex demanding that Zack give him a piggy back across the park, and Zack obliges. He always does.

Eventually, Zack complains that his nose is numb, which leads to the discussion of nose warmers, and 'Why didn't you wear a scarf you moron?' befre they head back to Alex's house.

They ditch their jackets and muddy shoes in the hallway and Alex is quite disturbed to hear laughter from the kitchen, it sounds distinctly like his dad. He rushes to unlace his other sneaker.

The sight that greets him is not something he ever expected to see. There's stuff all over the table, books and food and the box of emergency supplies they keep above the fridge.

Jack's mouth is full of, well, Alex has no idea but it's clearly gross judging by the face he's making, and his dad and Rian are red in the face and breathless from laughter.

“Uhm, dad, what's going on?”

This might just the weirdest thing to ever happen to him.

Jack makes a gagging sound, and Rian passes him a tissue.

“We're making Jack taste test some stuff I picked up from those new markets today” His dad says, “I'm not sure how we got here, but it's well worth the show.”

“It's like poison! Or at least cardboard and vomit!” Jack says, having spat out whatever it was he was eating.

Alex can't help but laugh along with them, wishes he had a camera to forever capture the image of Jack trying to wipe his tongue with another tissue but just getting that tissue stuck to it aswell.

“Maybe I like cardboard and vomit.” He says in the most serious voice he can muster.

Behind him, Zack walks in and prompty breaks into laughter as well.

“Well here then,” Jack says, slides a box of what appears to be crackers over to him. Nothing on the box is in english. “This is my gift to you, no need to thank me.”

Jack, depsite looking properly disgusted, looks a lot happier than before he'd left, so Alex thinks that's a good thing, and judging by the stuff on the table, there was at some point some serious conversation.

“Did you buy these just to make someone taste them so you could laugh, unless you can read arabic or whatever there's no way you know what's in there there could be cat or something”

He looks accusingly at his father. He does have a pretty whack sense of humour.

“Dad, are you trying to poison Jack?”

Laughter is his only answer, and Alex reaches into the box to try them for himself.

He regrets his decision as soon as they touch his tongue.


	22. Chapter 22

Soon the holidays are in full swing. Well, swing enough considering that winter is definitely upon them. Alex likes the snow, he really does. (Loves nailing Rian in the face with snowballs) He can't wait until it actually gets cold enough to snow properly, none of this sleet shit.

Tonight, the four of them are heading out for dinner (He's not sure why it's dinner and not lunch because dinner seems a bit gay, but then he figures that's the point – it is a date after all), an old favourite of his and Rian's, Rita's Italian.

Zack had been stupidly excited about the whole 'double dinner date' concept and Alex didn't have the heart to shoot him down, tell him that maybe Jack wasn't ready for that sort of commitment.

Fortunately, Jack is cool with it and that's where they are now. Well, they're on their way, Jack's mom insisting on straightening Jack's hoodie for him before they get into the car.

When they arrive, Rian and Zack are already waiting out the front, Rian is actually dressed up, he's wearing a fucking tie and everything. Him and Jack have sort of coordinated, skinny jeans and brightly coloured sneakers, neatly coiffed hair but Alex wouldn't have ever considered this as a proper get dressed up date.

“Was I supposed to wear a suit and tie?” He askes Jack, who snorts.

“Rian's dressed like our fucking dad or something, and this is his custody weekend cause he's divorced our mom”

“And Zacks his new girlfriend.” Alex cracks up, the mental image of Zack the doting housewife and Rian the business man too much to take.

They're still laughing as they exit the car, Jack's mom trying to give him money 'to buy Alex some dessert, lord knows he needs it!' and Jack unable to refuse lest she speak any louder and the people in the next street hear.

They greet each other with hugs, and fill Rian in on his dad status before heading in to sit in Alex's favourite booth in the back corner.

“Well well if it isn't my favourite customers” A voice says from behind them, and okay, Jack wasn't expecting to see some dude with jet black hair and a lip ring as their waiter. (He doesn't care, but this seems like a pretty classy place and he's not exactly matching the décor)

“Matty!” Alex jumps up to hug the stranger, and Jack is not jealous, not at all.

“The usual then?, What'll you be having, new guy?” Matt pulls out a pencil from behind his ear, taps it onto his little notepad. Jack didn't think those notepads were actually a thing.

“This is my boyfriend Jack, Jack this is our favourite friend Matt” Alex says.

They shake hands, Matt giving him an easy smile.

“So what'll it be?”

Jack has no idea, half the stuff on here he can't pronounce, just knows that doesn't want snails. Are snails French, or Italian? France and Italy are pretty close, and he's not taking any chances.

“Whatever Zack's having I guess, I like suprises” He says.

Alex sticks his hand under the table, pulls out his pump to program his insulin in. He likes coming here, always has the same thing (Spinach and feta penne, and half of Rian's herb and dried tomato bread – whether he shares it willingly or not). He likes the reliability.

Jack ends up splitting dessert with Alex, some sort of vanilla apple custard thing. He's sure it's got a wonderful name, but all that matters is that it's delicious and that Alex keeps licking the custard from between his fingers in a completely indecent way (And the fucker knows it, keeps giving Jack this look as he does it) and he has icing sugar on his cheek and Jack really, really wants to lick it off.

He resists, just licks the pad of his thumb and wipes Alex's cheek, hopes that neither Rian nor Zack will say something, Zack just winks at him, and both him and Alex blush.

They chat for a while, make plans to go bowling sometime before the holidays end, and get around to building a snowman “And an igloo!” Alex had said, and they spend way too much time discussing the technical aspects of igloo building, reinforcing it with sticks or something so it doesn't cave in on them.

As they say, time flies when you're having fun and soon enough Matt returns to collect their plates and hurry them up to the front counter.

“Get your assess up, we're closing”

“Now Matt is that any way to speak to your favourite, loyal, paying customers?” Rian says, and Matt hmms, taps the pencil against his head.

“You're right, fuck off then” He says cheefully, heading back to the kitchen with their plates on his arm.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jack's mom comes to pick them up, Alex staying over again. (They like sleepovers okay)

Jack pulls Alex up the stairs into his room, he's been wanting to do this ever since they'd picked up Alex up, he looks fucking goregous, as always.

“You” He says in whisper (His mom is just down the hall, after all), pinning Alex against his closed door. “Are a fucking tease.”

Alex just smirks at him. “What are you gonna do about it?”

Jack just narrows his eyes, slides a hand under Alex's knees, the other around his waist and picks him up. Alex makes a barely muffled squeak. “Jack!, Put me down!” He hisses, and Jack does, strides across the room and tosses Alex onto his bed and he looks good like that, all awkward limbs splayed against the covers, hair fanned out.

“Happy now?” He asks, and Alex reaches out for him, “C'mere”

And that's not an invitation Jack is ever going to turn down, he shucks his shoes and socks, tugs at Alex's aswell. (There is nothing sexy about shoes and socks)

He's kissing Alex then, all tongue and lips and teeth and Alex's hands are sliding up under his shirt and he groans into Alex's mouth, goes for Alex's shirt aswell and they have to break away to deal with technical things like buttons and removing arms from sleeves but then they're straight back into it.

He moves his fingers to pinch at Alex's nipples, loves the way the other boy lets out a soft breathy noise and arches towards him, ankles curled around Jack's calves keeping them pressed together.

“So, what are we doing?” He asks.

“You, me, orgasms” Alex says, “But, n-not, not all the way. Is that okay?” For a moment, Alex seems so fucking fragile underneath him, bony hips and knees and skeletal fingers pressing at Jack's sides.

“Babe, whatever you want, orgasms are great” And it sounds cliché, but Jack really is happy to just go as far as Alex wants, it's not like neither of them are not going to get off, and to be fair, his mom is still just down the hall.

They both disolve into hysterics then, as only teenage boys using the word orgasm in actual situation with another person in which they might actually occur can be before they manage to get it together, Alex reaching up to drag Jack into a long kiss, hands moving from his Jack's hips to his ass, kneading the flesh there.

Jack makes a muffled wail, hips jerking forward against Alex, jesus, is he trying to kill him here? One minutes he's all innocent, but damn the kid has moves.

He reachs for Alex's belt (Which he doesn't really need because Jack's sure his pants are painted on), pauses for a minute to gauge Alex's reaction, gets a nod.

“Hurry the fuck up” Alex says, and Jack doesn't waste any time then, tossing the belt across the room, shifting off of Alex so he can help him tug his jeans down (They were not designed for quick and easy removal), the hard line of his cock visible through his boxer-briefs.

He takes a minute to appreciate the view in front of him, wants Alex to just be in his bed like this all the time, reality be damned. It's bit weird, he's never had a proper look at where Alex's pump connects to his skin, but as long as he doesn't get tangled in the tubing again, he's cool with it. He's just not sure what they're going to do with the pump itself, now that it's not on Alex's waistband it's kind of everywhere.

“S'okay if it stays?” Alex asks, and Jack not sure where it would go exactly, but he wants to wipe that expression off Alex's face forever, he doesn't need to be ashamed.

“Hey, it doesn't bother me, it's just part of you and your sexy, naked body” Jack says, and Alex blushes, gives him a toothy grin and slips his pump up and underneath one of Jack's pillows, before turning his attention back to Jack, and his pants.

“You too.” Alex says, and Jack shucks his own pants, red cheeked as he feels Alex's unwavering gaze on him, on his cock.

“Don't you get all embarassed on me, c'mon” Alex is tugging him back down on top of him and when they rub against each other through the thin cotton it's brilliant, brilliant friction and Jack would really be quite happy to just carry on like this but apparently Alex has other plans, pliant in Jacks arms one moment, then the next he's rolling them over, knees on each side of Jack's hips, straddling him.

“Whuh?” Is all Jack is coherent enough to say.

“Wanna, you know,” Alex turns an impressive shade of red, makes a very familiar gesture with his hand and his mouth and oh, oh, Jack is so fucking down with that it's not even funny, hips rolling against Alex's boxer-brief clad ass as he lets his mind imagine all the ways this is most likely to be (Will definitely be), the best blowjob ever.

“Are you sure?” He says, because as awesome as the mental image is he doesn't want Alex to think he has to do this because they're not gonna fuck.

“Shut up,” Alex says, “I want to okay, just shush”

And slides down Jacks body then, ass in the air, eyes never leaving Jacks. (Jack's going to die, just lie here and die), pulls Jacks boxers down, cock springing up against his stomach.

He watches Alex lick his lips (Seriously, he wants to know who taught Alex all these moves, because he's going to kill them for being assholes but thank them for this) before he flicks his tongue against the head, Jacks fingers coming to thread through his hair.

Alex toys with him a little more, running his tongue along and pressing open mouthed kisses to the side of his cock before he bats his eyelashes at Jack and properly takes him in his mouth.

Had this been anyone else Jack would be embarassed at how quickly Alex brings him to the edge, Alex's hands pressed tightly against his hips to stop him jerking up, Jack's fingers curled into Alex's hair, determined not to pull, if he chokes Alex he mightn't want to do this again and Jack really doesn't want that to happen.

“Alex, m'gonna” He half expects Alex to pull off, but he doesn't, just keeps a constant suction and fucking swallows as Jack comes down his throat.

He gives Jack a few half-hearted licks to clean him up before he pulls away.

“Are you gonna freak if I kiss you right now?” He askes, and Jack doesn't answer, just sits up to press his lips to Alex's, tasting himself, he doesn't care. Idly he wonders what the carb content of come is.

Alex is still grinding against him, and oh yeah, he stretches a hand down, strokes Alex through his boxer-briefs, loves the way Alex presses his hips against his hand.

“Ja-ack” He whispers, and of course Jack isn't going to leave him like this, not after the best orgasm of his life so far, he helps Alex shuck his briefs, reaches under his pillow for the lube he'd placed there (He wasn't expecting, more hoping) because dry handjobs are the worst and he definitely wants to reward Alex.

Alex makes an appreciative noise, let's Jack manhandle him so he's sitting inbetween Jack's legs, back against Jack's chest, and Jack makes sure not to knock his hand against the white gauze patch on Alex's side, though he does run his fingers along the outline gently, feels Alex shiver against him.

Alex just tilts his head up and kisses Jack's chin, he can't explain how much he appreciates Jack's acceptance, how he's careful but not bothered and it means so much more to him than just this moment, but for right now, he just needs Jack to touch him already.

Jack starts off slow, dragging moans and whines and whimpers from Alex before Alex's fingers clench tightly around his wrist and he takes that as a sign that Alex has had enough of his particular brand of teasing (Like Alex wasn't the original fucking tease here) before he sets a rhythm that has Alex pressing his hips a good few inches off the bed with each upward stroke and Alex is gorgeous like this, eyes dark and panting.

“Please” He whispers again and Jack keeps up the pace, firm and steady until Alex makes another positively indecent groan of his name and comes all over Jack's hand and his own chest.

“Jesus fucking christ” He says, breathless.

“Good huh?”

Alex swats at him “Stop fishing for comments on your sexual prowess”

Jack laughs, “I'm not the one with the blowjob skills of a hooker”

“What would you know about hooker blowjobs?”

“You should ask your mom”

The banter is the perfect come down for the both of them, Alex's hooker mom be damned, as Jack heads into the bathroom (Stealthily and with a towel, his mom does not need to see him naked, again) for tissues and a wash cloth, sticks his head under the faucet to grab a few mouthfuls of water before heading back down the hall, he tosses the cold wash cloth at Alex, who yelps. “That's fricken cold!”

“I know.” Alex throws the cloth at back at him, gets off the bed to rummage through the overnight bad he'd brought with him, slides on a pair of boxers and pajama pants, Jack doing the same.

Alex tests then, and Jack peers over his shoulder curiously.

“Did I tire you out or what?”

Alex flips him off, and then “S'okay if I head downstairs for a drink?”

“I'll get it, you want juice or what?”

“Yeah, please”

Jack heads downstairs, a blissfully content feeling settling into his bones. He's going to get juice for Alex, then they're both going to snuggle and fall asleep together.

It's (And he doesn't want to jinx anything here) but it's just about perfect.


	23. Chapter 23

Alex wakes in the morning, alone. To the smell of bacon. Bacon. His mouth actually starts watering.

Snagging one of Jack's oversized hoodies, he heads downstairs.

The sight that greets him is both endearing and hilarious, Jack is not to shabby a cook despite what he says, scrambled eggs in one pan and bacon in the other, butter out by the toaster (Alex is glad one of them can cook, cause he's shit at anything that requires more than a mircowave) and he's wearing what Alex truly hopes is his mothers apron, all frilly and yellow with pink flowers.

He waits till Jack steps away from the stove to step forward and slide his arms around the other boys waist.

“Morning” He says.

Jack turns and presses a kiss to the side of his head

“Morning” He gestutes to the breakfast in front of them “Is this okay, I mean your dad explained how to count carbs and everything so I figured-”

“Dude, chill. It looks awesome”

After breakfast, they're at a loose end, they've played enough video games to melt both of their brains and it's really too cold outside to want to do much, especially since it's not even snowing yet.

Alex sort of loiters in Jack's room while Jack showers, straightens the bed covers and stares at the assortment of pictures and posters scattered around the room. There's not too many photos, a couple of Jack and his mom, but in the back, there's a family photo with who he guesses is Jack's dad. He wonders what the story is there, but he's not going to press Jack into it, he can wait.

Jack comes out of the shower then and Alex jumps in, washes his hair with Jack's vanilla and green tea shampoo (He doesn't want to smell like Jack, not at all)

He leaves just after lunch, Jack putting his cooking skills to use to microwave some frozen pizza (It'd probably be better in the oven, but neither of them can work it), bag over his shoulder.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's around 6am the next morning when Alex's phone rings, waking him from sleep. He swears, rolls over to reach for his phone.

It's Jack. A million possibilities run through his mind, he knows Jack has trouble sleeping at times, and Jack knows that he's usually up pretty early, maybe he just wants to talk. A darker, thought runs through his mind as well.

He answers. “Jack?”

“Alesh?” Jack's voice sounds muffled, tired.

“Are you okay?, it's kind of early”

Jack's laugh is tinny on the phone.

“Uhm, kind of, I don't really know?”

Kind of. Kind of is not comforting at all.

He hears voices in the background, Jack's mom “Jack honey give me the phone, you're probably scaring him to death”

There's more noise, as the phone is presumably handed over.

“Alex, is that you?”

“Yes, hi, is everything (and really he means Jack, sorry Joyce) okay?”

“He's had a bit of a fall and we're in emergency at the moment, but he's been insisting on seeing you, but if it's too early he can definitely wait a bit longer”

“No, no it's fine, i'll see if my mom can drop me off on her way to work”

Alex thinks he might be sick, heart in his throat, he stumbles out of bed and throws on the first clothes he finds, racing down the stairs to find his mother.

“Mom?, Mom?!”

He nearly slams into her as she comes out of the kitchen, her eyes widening as she see's him.

“Alexander, is everything alright?” She's reaching a hand out to his forehead and dammit, this isn't about him, this about Jack, who's calling for him.

“Mom, i'm fine, but Jack's in hospital and can you drive me there on your way to work?”

Her brows furrow.

“Sweetie, are you sure that's a good idea?”

“Joyce called, he's pretty out of it and he's been calling for me for hours, please?”

Alex tries to school his face into a pleading expression, not that he has to try very hard, he needs to see Jack.

“Grab the keys, i'll meet you outside”

“Thanks mom”

Unbeknownst to Alex, his mother smiles fondly at him as he races out of the house.

The car ride is way too long, sure the hospital is a good 15 minutes away, but Alex needs to be there now. He drums on his legs with a biro he found on the dashboard, a nervous habit he's picked up from Rian.

“I'm sure he's fine” He mother says soothingly.

“I just need to see him.”

As promised, Joyce is waiting outside the doors to emergency for him, pulls him into a loose hug.

“What happened?”

“We think he fell of the roof, he doesn't remember much”

They make their way through a winding series of corridors, fraught looking nurses and screaming children before Alex spies Jack at the end of another whitewashed hall.

Jack looks so fucking tiny, ( And if this weight on his chest is what Alex's parents feel when something happens to him, he's so very, very sorry because it's horrible to see someone you adore looking so out of place) bandages wrapped thickly around his head and a bright pink cast on his wrist.

“Alesh” Jack's face breaks into a smile as he reaches for Alex and who is Alex to refuse, lets Jack wrap bony arms around him, he's freezing.

“What the fuck have you done to yourself?”

Jack's face scrunches up, “I dont know, but it hurst, kiss it better?” He bows his head, and Alex presses a gentle kiss to the bandages, hopes that Jack is drugged up to the eyeballs because he should not be slurring his words like that.

Joyce steps into the little curtained area that is Jack's residence for the time being.

“Jack” She says, and Jack turns towards her, “Mommy!” He removes his arms from around Alex to reach for her and potential injuries aside, it's the sweetest thing Alex has ever seen.

“You brought Alesh” He says, sparing a hand from the embrace to pat at Alex's hand.

“Yes I did, now do you think you can behave for a bit, I need some coffee”

Jack's confused face is adorable. “But Alesh stays here?”

“Yes, Alex is going to stay here with you.”

Jack's mom leaves the room for coffee, whispers a thank you in Alex's ear as she goes, promises to bring Jack back a donut if he keeps still.

“Are you supposed to sleep?” He muses aloud, “I think it's okay, i'm tired” Jack says, and Alex supposes that if he wasn't allowed to sleep someone would have told him, so he urges Jack to lie down, pulls the thin hospital blanket over him. But Jack doesn't close his eyes, just keeps them fixed on Alex, fingers curled in the blanket.

“Go to sleep you idiot, i'll be here when you wake up”

Jack snorts, mumbles something incomprehensible and obediently closes his eyes.

Alex must fall asleep as well because he's woken by Joyce shaking his shoulder, opens his eyes to see a doctor waving a light in front of Jack's eyes.

“They don't think it's too bad a concussion, so they're letting us take him home” She says. Alex doesn't miss the way that she says 'us' like she's actually entrusting Jack into his hands, it's a scary thought. Alex has enough trouble taking care of himself.

It's a bit of an effort to get Jack into the car, he's less tired and more whiny now, the reality of his aching head and useless arm kicking in but they do eventually get him snuggled upstairs in his bed, mug of hot chocolate in hand.

“Alex?”

“Hmm?” Alex looks up from his phone, he's been texting Rian and Zack periodic updates, which as morning people, he's sure they really appreciate. It's still only like, 9.30.

“My head hurts.”

“Falling of buildings will do that to you, how did that even happen anyway?”

Jack shrugs. “I dunno, I usually climb out my window into the tree outside and onto the roof when I can't sleep, I like to watch the stars and stuff, even if i'm freezing my ass off, it's peaceful. I guess I just misjudged where the branch was on my way back down, and bam, next think I know my mom's having a heart attack.”

“Maybe we'll install you a safety rail for next time.”

Jack frowns, “I don't think my mom is gonna let there be a next time, she's already threatened to chop the tree down herself”

Alex snickers, the image of one Joyce Barakat attempting to use an axe to attack the huge oak tree outside her home is stupidly impractical. Get a chainsaw on that shit.

They lapse into silence again.

“Alex?”

“Yes Jack?”

“Will you please draw a dick on my cast?”

Alex snorts, “Is your mom going to kill me if I do?”

“We can just tell her it was Rian” Jack whispers conspirationally, holding out a marker.

“C'mon, you can even write a sappy love note if you want.”

Alex takes the marker from Jack, tries to write legibly on the rough pink gauze, he doesn't think he's ever been so focused on dick related artistry.

“All done.” He announces, putting the marker on Jack's bedside table.

Jack lifts his, arm “Oh, awesome! Excellent attention to detail there, is this a self portrait or what?”

The movie finishes and Jack still hasn't fallen asleep again, just resting quietly against Alex, snuffling as contentedly as someone with a fresh head injury can.

“Jack, look at me” Jack shifts his head to the side, brown eyes fixed on him.

“Tell me you didn't jump off the roof”

Jack sits bolt upright then, hands going to his head and wincing and Alex automatically feels bad, reaches out to steady him. He needs the truth.

Jack stares at him again, licks his lips.

“Alex, I couldn't do that to my mom, or to you. I swear to god I just slipped on my way down, I swear, I just like sitting out there sometimes, when I can't sleep”

Jack's face is drawn and he looks terrified of what Alex is going to do.

“Hey, it's okay, I just had to ask, i'm sorry” Alex pulls Jack closer to him, “Just don't want you to get away from me, you know”

Jack pokes at Alex's side, “You know that's not going to happen, you're the marshmallow fluff to my tongue Lex.”

Alex hasn't ever had marshmallow fluff. He feels this should be rectified somewhere in the near future, makes a mental note to ask Jack if he has some later. How can a marshmallow have fluff?

For the time being, he's just thankful that Jack hadn't cracked his head open some for of morbid, blood filled easter egg, and god, that's the most disgusting thought. He goes back to combing his fingers through Jack's hair, tries to think of something less gross.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are all so nice! :)

It's a few days before Jack is back to his normal, bouncy self. Well, he's still bitching about the 3 stitches in his head that don't come out for another week but it's minimal bitching, mostly he's just enjoying getting everyone he knows (So, Alex, Rian, Zack and Matt) to draw dicks on his cast.

He gets disgusted looks from adults everywhere (And his mom refuses to take him anywhere with her unless it's covered) and he fucking loves it. It's not like they don't know what they are and what they're for. If they're embarrassed by badly-drawn male anatomy, how awkward must they be in bed?

His mother and him have negotiated the status of the oak tree out front, if he keeps away from it until his cast is off, it can stay. Though if he falls off the roof again his mother might actually kill him, so he's probably going to cut back a bit, not to mention that lying in your bed in winter not sleeping is a much smarter idea than freezing your ass off on a roof - he can't get sick, can't make Alex sick.

“Jack!” Rian and Zack are making their way towards him, Alex declining their invitation to head to the skatepark before the inevitable sheen of ice renders it unusuable. Jack is not skating, he has one broken wrist and he's just unlucky enough that he knows if he tempts fate it will bite him in the ass. Hard.

He's in a more supervisory role, a moving obstacle for Rian to navigate around and the voice of compassion (And laughter, who is he kidding) when Zack stacks it and takes a grind rail to the balls. Poor kid, luckily Rians there to uh, kiss it better? As long as they wait till they get home, Jack figures Rian can kiss whatever part of Zack he wants, and probably does. Ew.

Eventually a thin sheet of rain begins to fall, and they abandon ship (Or board, Jack supposes) and make their way to Zack's house for hot chocolate with those awesome little marshmallows in it. Zack's parents are lovely and sweet and when they come in they're actually curled on the couch watching TV together and Jack kind of wants to punch them in the face before then he remembers he's been doing the exact same thing, can do the exact same thing whenever he wants. The urge to punch Zack's parents disappates.

They head down the hall to Zack's room (It's a nice change that Zack's house is the only one without stairs, Jack is tired of worrying about tripping) and he drags out a couple of battered acoustic guitars. Seriously, he has three.

“Dude, how do you even have three guitars when you play cello and bass?”

“Well, we bought one off the neighbours at their garage sale, one of thems mine and the other one is Alex's spare.”

He passes one of the more well-kept ones, apart from a few band stickers and a neatly scrawled 'Property of Alexander William Gaskarth, Motherfuckers' on the back to Jack. Keeping the dingiest one for hiself and passing the newer, cleaner looking on to Rian.

“I've been trying to teach Rian how to play, but it's not going so well”

“Hey, no” Rian says indignantly “I can play that one Nirvana song”

“No babe,” Zack says, “You can play the first three chords to that one Nirvana song and then you forget the rest.”

“It's a start.” Rian pouts. “There's a reason I play drums and not anything with strings.”

“I bet you know how to play Zack's strings” Jack throws in, just cause he can.

They both blush and look away and Jack snorts.

“So, what are we doing, just fucking around?”

He tunes the guitar a little, plays the opening notes to All The Small Things, Zack joining in and Rian, well, Rian plays Smoke on the Water and it shouldn't work because it's so bad but it's not a complete shit show.

Jack starts to hum along, nudges Zack into a deeply accented Tom-esque series of na-na-na's.

“Dude, we need Alex to sing this shit” Rian says, reaching for his phone.

Jack pauses his fingers on the frets.

“What are you doing?”

“Calling him” Rian hits the speaker option and his phone rings through the room.

“Hello?”

“Alex!” They chorus.

“Uhm, hi? Hi Jack!”

“Hey, how come we don't get personalised greetings” Zack says.

“Fine. Hello Zack and Rian, what can I do for you today?” Alx says in a monotone drawl.

“We need you to be Tom Delonge for a sec” Rian says, “And don't sass me” 

Alex's laugh crackles over the line.

“You want me to what?”

Jack starts playing again, Zack too, Rian giving up completely and using his guitar as unsuprisingly, a drum.

“Sing for us, bitch” He says.

“This is stupid” Alex says over the top of them, but he obliges and godamnit, it's a shitty phone call acoustic song and Jack can't remember much beyond the opening and the chorus, but it feels like a proper moment.


	25. Chapter 25

It's a Thursday afternoon and somehow, someway (Okay they were on FaceTime and Alex had made a sad face and Jack couldn't resist) Jack has been roped into shopping with Alex and his mom.

So far they've been to the wholesale fruit place, the wholesale meat place, a hardware store and now they're heading to buy actual groceries.

“Alexander, do you wanna take Jack and head over to the pharmacy so we can pick everything up on the way out?”

“Yeah, sure.”

She hands him a metric tonne of papers and Alex flashes him a hesitant grin.

“Meet you in the shop, i'll probably start at the washing powder end” And with that, Alex's mom is striding accros the parking lot, high heels clacking against the pavement.

“So, pharmacy, right. Which way is that?”

Jack hasn't been to this particular mall before, it's a good half an hour out of their town so it's been a kind of fun trip. He has been to pharmacys with free bowls of candy, so he's kind of hoping for that.

Nada. He sighs, and Alex shoots him a questioning look.

“I thought there'd be free candy” He says, and Alex laughs. “Maybe in your freakishly small town but i'm sure if there was anything for free in here there'd be a line out the door”

They make their way to the back counter, Alex cheerfully greeting employees as they go. It must be weird Jack thinks, to know all these people based only on the notion that they know you're well, sick.

Thankfully it's pretty quiet down the back, just an old man sitting in the waiting area and a woman with two toddlers being shown some fancy new formula.

“That time again Alex?” A gruff voice comes from behind a stack of shelves as a bearded man in a white coat stands up from behind the other side of the counter.

“You know it. Missed me?” Alex replies with a grin.

“Sure, what can I get for you?”

Alex hands over the stack of papers and the man shuffles through them.

“Give us half an hour, yeah? Gonna need to find you a box or something.”

Alex and the man laugh and Jack is just a little creeped out.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They catch up with Isobel in the washing powder aisle, apparently she can't decide between lavender or lemon-line twist scented fabric softener so Alex makes an executive decision in favor of lavender.

“They have everything?” She asks.

“They didn't say they didn't have anything. I didn't ask.” Alex says and Isobel rolls her eyes and mumbles something about boys and continuing down the aisle.

Him and Alex trail behind her, putting the items she points at into the cart, giggling at inappropriate product names.

They're in the cereal aisle when Alex remembers.

“Hey Jack?”

Jack looks up from the box of 'Weetbix Bites' he's examining.

“Yeah?”

“What is marshmallow fluff and where would I find some?”

Jack's face lights up and he starts running down the aisle. “Follow me!”

Jack skids to a stop the next aisle over and Alex nearly runs into his back.

“Here.”

Jack presses a tub of pink gunk into his hands.

“The strawberry stuff is the best, it's just like, marshmallow, in mush form.” Jack is shitty with descriptions. The point is it's awesome and Alex should try some.

“There you are!” Isobel comes down the aisle toward them, “What have you got there?”

Alex holds the container out to her.

“Marshmallow fluff, Jack says it's good so we should get some.”

Isobel examines the back of the container. Oh yeah, Jack probably should have mentioned that it's pretty much just sugar and gelatine and fake strawberry. But it's fucking awesome, definitely exception worthy.

“Alexander, this would send your blood sugar through the roof” She says.

“Well it'd only be for special occassions, or if i'm low, who knows it could be gross and Jack could have it?”

Isobel shrugs. “As long as you keep it away from your father, he'll probably eat the whole thing in a night.”

“Deal.”

The marshmallow fluff is placed in the trolley.

It feels like forever before Alex's mom deems that she's got everything on what appears to be a very extensive list and they make their way to the checkouts, Alex and himself in charge of putting everything back into the trolley.

“Don't crush the bread” Isobel says. Oops. Jack tries to reshape the loaf.

They head back to the pharmacy, Alex pushing the trolley like a good son should.

The guy was not kidding Jack realises, as Alex's mom picks up a cardboard box full of stuff. What could possibly be in there? Unless Alex has like, the next centruies worth of test strips and insulin in there, Jack has no idea.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Stuff loaded into the car Alex and Jack wedge themselves into the back around it. (Alex's mom's Civic seems to be lacking boot space)

Alex test and dutifully holds out his meter to show his mother the number, who nods at him in recognition before starting the car.

The worst part about shopping is getting the stuff from the car to the house and although Isobel is insistent that he 'doesn't need to help, that's why I have my own son and you'll only hurt your arm' Jack does so anyway. His mother would be proud. And probably pissed off because Jack never helps her with the groceries, cast or no cast. He should start.

“Mom, we're gonna sort this stuff out upstairs.” Alex says, gesturing to the box in his arms.

“Just remember to put the insulin in the fridge this time.” She says.

“That was one time and I was like twelve!” Alex whines, pout on his lips. Jack tries not to laugh.

“This isn't gonna be like, weird for you is it? I can do this later.” Alex says as they head up the stairs.

Jack is going to strangle him. Alex is always so genuinely worried that Jack is just going to spontaneously freak out on him at any given moment and it sucks. Jack is determined to one day have Alex just be completely nonplussed about the whole thing. It's a work in progress.

“Alex, I really don't care, well I do but I don't, okay?”

Alex laughs, “Okay.”

“I'm just curious as to what the hell you have in there, it's pretty bix box.”

Alex sets the box down in the middle of the rug on his floor, sits cross legged and pats the spot next to him.

“It's full of magic and wonder and fun.” He says.

“I doubt that.” Jack says, Alex reaches out and punches him playfully on the arm.

“I have it on good authority that some of this stuff is supposed to be fun.”

Jack still doubts that. Unless it's a box full of medicinal chocolate or sex toys, it's unlikely to be as fun as Alex is suggesting.

Jack is right. Nothing in the box is fun. It's just insulin and test strips and what Alex is explains is a fuckload of stuff for his pump, infusion sets (the tube part) and syringes and other unidentifiable junk that he's sure is probably just as important but Alex has neglected to define.

No matter Alex says, Jack doesn't think that coloured lancets inserts are fun. Kind of cool yes, fun, no.

“Well, I have to try and be excited about it” Alex says, examining the box they come in. “I feel like only real men would use the pink and purple ones.”

“Real men would use a pointy stick” Jack comments idly.

“I'll use your pointy stick.” Alex says and then makes a face a he realises what he's said.

Jack laughs, “Anytime”

“Ooh, awesome!” Alex actually sounds excited as he's pulling yet more stuff out of the box – they've got it divided into two piles, kitchen and staying in Alex's room.

“Whatcha got?”

Alex holds up a brightly coloured tube of what appears to be candy in tablet form. Or vitamins, which Jack knows are disgusting no matter how 'child friendly' the flavours are.

“They're like, glucose tabs for when i'm low and they usually taste like shit but these ones are cherry and watermelon so I have high hopes”

“So it's kind of candy?”

“If candy tastes like chalk and aspirin, sure”

Jack mulls it over.

“But if you're low, why can't you just have actual candy?”

Alex shrugs. “I don't make a habit of carrying that kind of stuff around with me and I don't really want to ruin kitkats by making them a medication of sorts, also, these work a lot quicker, even if they are kind of gross.”

“That makes sense.” Jack couldn't imagine looking at chocolate and wonderful candy as a medicine.

Alex pops open the cherry tube.

“Wanna try one?”

“Sure.” Jack hasn't tasted chalk, so either way it's gonna be an experience.

He takes one and crunches down on it. He's not a huge fan of cherry but damn, it's actually pretty good. He looks at Alex, who's also crunching thoughtfully.

“This is actually pretty good” Jack says.

Alex nods, “These are a keeper, watermelon next?”

The watermelon one isn't as tasty, but it's not horrible either. It is kind of powdery, what Jack assumes is the chalkiness Alex had been referring too.

Alex is making a face.

“No good?” Jack asks, like it's not apparent.

“Nope. But they are from the brand that makes the really gross ones, so I don't know why I thought they'd be good, I just don't think watermelon has a strong enough taste.”

“What are you going to do with them?”

Alex shrugs. “Put them away and hope we get more cherry ones before I have to use these?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

Jack helps Alex shuffle what needs to go in the fridge downstairs, neatly lining up the bottles of insulin in the door part. It's weird how normal this seems, just helping his boyfriend put away his diabetes stuff. He wonders if this is how Rian feels, just see's Alex's predicament as completely normal. Maybe that's why he deals with it so well. Jack likes this sensation of normality.

His mom calls just as they finish, wanting to know if he'll be home for dinner. Jack says yes, because really he doesn't see his mom as often now that he's out with Alex a lot and he doesn't want her to suddenly get good at trivia and ruin his winning streak.

Alex corners him on the porch as he's putting on his coat and pulls him into a kiss.

“So, you should come ice skating with me on Saturday” He says.

“You can't skateboard, but you can ice skate?”

Alex makes spirit fingers. “I am a man of mystery.” He says.

“It's a date.” Jack hasn't been ice skating before, nor roller blading for that matter, but how hard can it be?


	26. Chapter 26

Jack is now eating his words. Being able to skateboard has pretty much no bearing on his ability to ice skate and Alex is just there being all graceful and doing spins and gliding on one foot and being utterly adorable in his pea coat. Jack is yet to leave the outer wall. He's blaming his broken wrist for putting him so heiniously off balance. It's a lie, but he's sticking to it.

“C'mon you pussy, it's not that hard” Alex taunts, gliding across the ice.

“Says the boy who can't stand on a skateboard” Jack retorts.

Alex skates back over to him, holds out a hand.

“Here, hold onto me.” He says.

“Oh no, i'm not falling for that.” Jack says, help but don't help, he doesn't need to land on his ass again, it's practically numb at this point.

“Jack,” Alex says seriously, brown eyes staring at him from underneath the bit of fringe stuck under his beanie.

“I won't let you fall, whose stupid idea was it go ice skating anyway because that person is an idiot”

“Alex, if I didn't want to come I wouldn't have, i'm not that worried about breaking something else, I seem to be only landing on my ass anyway.”

Alex waggles his fingers. “Come on then, you can be my swan lake princess with the pretty pink cast.”

“With dicks on it.”

“Yes, with dicks on it, now stop stalling and let me hold you.”

Every muscle in Jack's body is tensed as one of Alex's arms slide around his waist, the other grabbing his uninjured arm.

“Tuck your other arm in close, so if you do fall you don't land on it.” He says.

Jack does, and Alex is gently pulling him away from the safety of the wall. Crap. He tries to keep his feet under him.

“Relax, lean against me a bit more.” Alex says.

Jack tries, shifting his weight against Alex's and hey, it's not that bad. Sure they've only come like three meters but he hasn't fallen over yet.

“There you go” Alex whispers in his ear.

In what Jack can only describe as the worst irony ever, the stereo changes into some supposedly inspiring classical music with violins and flutes and some sort of chime.

Alex steps out a little more and they go a little faster, but only for a seconds because Jack ruins their moment by tripping over his own skates.

They make their way around the whole circuit of the ice before the song changes again, to Adele this time. Alex doesn't know that Jack knows that Alex has too many Adele songs on his Ipod to be coincidence.

“Alex” he says.

“Hmm?”

“Put me back on the wall and skate like you want too.”

“Nope.” Alex squishes him a little tighter.

“C'mon, I know you love this song and want to pretend you're in the olympics.”

Jack hopes that's true, because otherwise he's going to sound like an idiot. Fortunately he's right on the money.

“Fine, but just for this one song.” Alex says, guiding him over to the wall again befroe kissing his cheek and skating away.

The song is kind of cliché and Jack doesn't know the title, but it's clear that it speaks to Alex, because he really is skating like he's doing some olympic routine. (Okay, an olympic routine with the occasional stumble and half-yelled swearing during the stumbling)

Alex is actually pretty good, making serpentines and figure eights and looking Jack straight in the eyes while he raises his hands like a ballerina, makes spirit fingers again. He's stupidly good at spirit fingers, has probably been watching too many cheerleading movies.

It's gorgeous to watch Alex loose himself like this though, stumbles and swearing and all and the song ends way too soon for Jack's liking and Alex is skating back over to him, cheeks red and out of breath.

“I think you're more of a swan lake princess.” Jack says.

Alex rolls his eyes, “Someone's gotta be the damsel in distress and it's clearly not me”

Jack concedes. It is true.

“Want me to take you on another lap? Alex asks.

“Can you maybe, just hold my hand, I wanna try by myself.”

“Sure, show us what you got princess”

Jack sticks his tongue out in a very mature fashion, grips Alex's hand tightly and takes a hesitant step forward. And another. And another, and soon enough he's got a rhythm going.

“Look!” He says gleefully to Alex, who's hand he's still got a death grip on.

“You have truly mastered this art” Alex says.

“Damn right.”

Jack promptly trips over and lands solidly on the ice, on his ass, again.

Alex breaks into cackling laughter, seemingly forgetting that Jack's still got his hand. Jack gives a sharp tug and Alex looses his footing and slams down beside him.

“Hey!”

“Who's the master now?”

“That depends, we're in the middle of ice, how are you going to get up?”

Fuck. Jack hadn't thought of that.

Alex makes his way to feet like a graceful giraffe. (And Jack means that in the nicest way possible)

Jack makes a few half-hearted attempts to get up.

“Maybe i'll just crawl.” He says, trying to cover his hands against the frozen freezingness of the ice with his hoodie sleeves.

“You idiot, here,” Alex bends down and wraps his arms around Jack's elbows.

“Now get up before I drop you.”

Jack makes it to his feet unscathed, lets Alex guide him back to the wall, to the exit.

“Wanna get hot chocolate from the cafeteria before my mom comes to pick us up?” Alex asks.

“Fuck yes, do you think they have ass warmers up there as well?”

Alex leans in close. “I'll warm it for you later” He whispers and Jack does not, repeat does not shiver and if he does it's because he's cold, okay.

Hot chocolate is one of Jack's favourite things about winter. He likes about four spoonfuls of cocoa mix and about seven sugars and half milk half water and it's perfect. The rinks hot chocolate is pretty good too, though Jack can tell they're using a non-branded cocoa mix. But put enough sugar sachets in it and it'll taste just as good. Alex splits his sugar between Splenda and proper sugar, one of each (And Jack is sorry, but he is not ever having that fake shit in any of his drinks, it's feral, food is fine, but you can't mess with tea or coffee or hot chocolate. Or Pepsi. That shit is sacred.)


	27. Chapter 27

Alex's phone rings as they're sharing a cup of hot chips and he slides it out of his hoodie pocket to answer.

“Mom?”

Jack watches as he uhms and ahs before he hangs up the phone.

“What's up?”

“My mom and dad have been invited on some charity golf thing for my dads work, they weren't going because it was full but apparently another couple dropped out so they can go.”

“Oh.” Jack says. “Does that mean she's not coming to get us?”

Alex smiles at him, reaches under the table to rub his fingers against Jack's knee.

“What it means Jack, is that we've got the house to ourselves for the weekend.”

And oh. Ohhh. By the look on Alex’s face Jack might be getting a literal ass warming tonight.

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Isobel does come to get them before she leaves, Alex's dad sitting in the passenger seat, their luggage talking up half the back seat so Alex and Jack are kind of smooshed together. Which Jack is more than fine with, of course.

She's trying to have a 'serious talk' with Alex as she drives, going on about responsibilities and who he's supposed to call if anything happens and is he absolutely sure he'll be alright and Alex just leans against Jack and tries to assure her he'll be fine, especially since he's not really going to be alone. He's got Jack.

They pull into the driveway and Alex obligingly sticks his head through the drivers window to kiss his mom goodbye (And it's fucking adorable, it is) before his parents pull out of the drive again, leaving Jack and Alex alone. Fuck yes.

Alex fumbles with the keys, lets them into the house, a few lights still left on so it's not completely dark as they step through the door.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Like most of their endeavours it starts with making out. On Alex's bed. They've pretty much gotten rid of most of their clothes along the way (Jack hopes he remembers his shirt is hanging with the umbrellas in the hall), clad in nothing but their underwear.

Jack's on top, got Alex pinned underneath him (And it's kind of hard with just one arm, but he's trying, this is about Alex, so he doesn't get to be on top), Alex's pump thrown carelessly beside him. Alex loops his arms around Jack's neck to pull him closer, hips rutting up against him, impatient noises coming from the back of his throat.

“Lex, Alex, hey.” Jack's pulls away from Alex a little, assessing.

“We're not in a rush babe, I want to make this good for you.”

Alex actually looks doubtful. “But what about you?” He whispers.

Jack is seriously going to cut a bitch.

“Making this awesome for you is going to make it awesome for me.” He settles on, leans back down recapture Alex's lips with his own, hands guiding Alex's down to his hips.

“Just enjoy it, yeah?”

Alex makes a little affirmative noise into their kiss and that's all the persuasion Jack needs to move his lips to Alex's neck, licking and sucking a bruise into the soft flesh behind Alex's ear.

It occurs to Jack then that he's not sure who's going to be where, depending on how far this goes. He's pretty happy either way, but he wants this to be Alex's decision.

He pulls away again.

“What do you wanna do?” He asks, hopes Alex isn't going to ask him to be more specific, hopes he'll catch on.

Alex shrugs, “I don't mind, i'll bottom if you want, I like it”

Jack must make a face, because Alex is blinking and frowning up at him, “Unless you don't want me to?”

“I just, you're always got stuff stuck in you and..”

Jack trails off as Alex breaks into uncontrollable laughter. This wasn't how romance was supposed to work.

“And you don’t want to stick your cock in me as well, god you are fucking adorable” He says inbetween breaths, leaning down to draw Jack into another heated kiss.

“For future reference,” He whispers against Jack's ear, sending shivers up his spine. “You would be most welcome to stick your cock anywhere and everywhere.”

And really, Jack can't argue with that.

They go back to kissing, grinding against each other, pausing momentarily so Jack can slide Alex's boxers down long legs, cock hard and red against his stomach and at some point in the future Jack really wants a taste but not today. He has much better plans. He sheds his own boxers, presses his and Alex’s cocks together. There is nothing better than skin on skin.

“Wait.” Alex says and Jack stiffens, immediately worried that somehow he's taken it too far.

“Everything okay?” He asks.

Alex is reaching for his pump. “I just want it to be you and me, none of my junk.”

Jack nods, strokes his hands down Alex's sides. “If that's what you want, but you know it doesn't bother me at all.”

Alex smiles at him, “I know, but I want this, give me like, five minutes? I'm sure you can entertain yourself” He says, making a none too subtle gesture to Jack's own cock, shiny at the head with precome as he slides off the bed and disappears into the bathroom, there's nothing sexy about him taking off his pump, and he wants to test first, make sure it isn't a crazy bad idea to disconnect for a while.

He wants to remember this moment, have Jack all to himself without anything between them.

Jack does entertain himself while Alex is gone, reaches for his cock and ruts up into his hand, an errant thought about lube crossing his mind.

Alex is quick like he said, crawls up from the foot of the bed and he actually looks even more naked without his pump, tinier somehow, the tubing is gone, just the gauze patch and little plastic thingy (It's technical name Jack has no idea) remaining. The glint in his eyes however, as he slides up Jack's legs, is purely predatory.

“So, where were we?”

“Y'got lube and stuff?” Jack desperately hopes that Alex does, wishes he had thought to be prepared because it's going to seriously mess with his sexy plans for Alex if he doesn't.

“Middle drawer” Alex says, relinquishing his grip on Jack so Jack can slide the drawer open, pull out a half-full bottle of lube and pick a condom from the assortment in Alex's drawer, sets it aside for later.

“Been busy, Alexander?”

In the dim light Alex flushes all the way down his chest and rolls off of Jack, hiding his face against the pillow.

“Aw hey now, I am a huge fan of busy-ness” Really, there is nothing hotter than the image of Alex on this very bed, fingers inside himself, crying out Jack's name.

“Shut up” Is the muffled response.

He pats at Alex's ass, gives it a gentle squeeze. Alex has a glorious ass, all pale and firm and just generally fucking awesome.

“You wanna stay on your front for this?” He murmurs, slides his fingers down a little so Alex can't mistake his intentions.

“Mmm” Alex says, pushing his ass up a little.

Jack starts slow, slicking his fingers up with lube, pressing them gently to Alex's hole, who makes this tiny little whimper, clenches around the tips of Jack's fingers. It's a little difficult with his cast, doesn't want to have to explain to his mom how he got lube on it, but he's making it work, keeps Alex's legs spread a little wider to compensate.

“Don't fucking tease” Alex says his voice rough and Jack doesn't really want to disobey him, not yet.

He doesn't rush though, progresses slowly to sliding his fingers in and out of Alex, switching between one and two and three just to keep him on his toes, only occasionally pressing against his prostate, likes to hear the soft breathy noises Alex makes whenever he does.

Alex has his hands fisted in the sheets, hips rising up in counterpoint to Jack's fingers.

“Jack, c'mon, please” He whines, shoving his ass up.

“Hmm, no.” Jack says, maintaining his pace.

“I hate you.”

Jack slides his fingers straight against that one spot and keeps them pressed firmly there and Alex lets out a long, low groan.

“You were saying?”

“I might hate you a little bit less.” Alex mumbles, “But only if you keeping doing that.”

Jack acquiesces, slides his fingers in and out a few more times till he's satisfied he's made it as good for Alex as he possibly can without ending things too soon and pushes at Alex's hip, hand still sticky with lube.

“Roll over for me?”

Alex obliges, rolls over onto his back again, stares up at Jack, pupils wide and dark.

Jack fumbles with the condom for a moment, hands slipping against the foil before sliding it onto his cock with a groan, reaches for the lube but Alex beats him to it, squeezes some onto his hand and strokes Jack a few times until Jack has to pull away because seriously, this isn't going to last very long as it is, Alex doesn't need to tease him any.

He slots himself between Alex's spread legs, rests his casted arm by Alex's head, the other loosely around his own cock.

He nudges Alex's chin up with his nose, stares into dark eyes covered by his own shadow against the light.

“Are you sure?”

Alex just nods, presses a kiss to Jack's cheek.

“M'sure. Just, gentle yeah?”

Like Jack would be anything else. This is supposed to be good for the both of them, and Alex is half of that equation.

He guides himself in slowly, an unrelenting push and Alex makes some sort of wail and squirms against him and Jack pauses, eyes him questioningly, doesn't want to push him past what he's ready for, even if they're practically there already.

“No no, it's good, I swear, c'mon”

Jack keeps going, till he's pressed firmly against Alex's ass and okay, it's a struggle not to just pin Alex down and take what he wants except that it's not, not really, because even though Alex is clenching around him and making these soft noises, Jack would, could probably just stay like this to just watch him come apart of his own accord.

It seems like forever before Alex shifts more definitively, sliding Jack impossibly deeper. He looks fucking gorgeous like this, hair matted to his forehead, chest slick with sweat and tight on Jack's cock. Jack half wishes he had a camera just for this moment.

He bends down to kiss Alex, tongue licking into his mouth, moving his hips in these tiny little circles and swallowing Alex's noises.

Alex slides his legs up to press his heels into the small of Jack's back, arms wrapped around his neck.

“Yeah?” Jack asks.

“Yeah” Alex says. “Show me what you got”

He grins at Jack then, teeth glinting in the light, tongue coming out to wet his lips. And this, this right here is one of Jack's favourite things about Alex, the way he can change from all soft and innocent to a downright dirty motherfucker.

He doesn't answer, just pulls Alex's arms from around his neck, pins them above his head with one hand, rests the other against Alex's chest.

“Tell me if you want me to stop” He says.

He slides back and then forward again, starting off slowly despite Alex's wish to be shown exactly what Jack's got – he'll get there. It's not too long before he's fucking Alex in what might be a drum rhythm that even Rian would be proud of, Alex's back arched, hips rising up to meet him.

“Unh, fuck” He groans, leaning down to bite into Alex's shoulder, not slowing in the slightest.

“C'mon, Jacky” Alex urges and Jack let's go of Alex's arms, brings his hand down to wrap around Alex's cock, stroking in time with his thrusts.

Jack comes first, presses balls deep against Alex as he rides out the waves, Alex tight and hot around him, and his hand stills on Alex's cock until Alex whines and thrusts up, and Jack gets the hint, long, sure strokes of his hand.

He presses his lips close to Alex's ear, “Y'gonna come for me or what Lex?”

And Alex does, with this long, deep moan of Jack's name, clenching tightly around him, come sliding through Jack's fingers as he strokes Alex through his orgasm.

Jack stays in Alex till they both catch their breath, Alex's come cooling on their skin before he tries to slide out as gently as possible. Alex's breath hitches, and Jack rubs his fingers against his hipbones in a soothing manner before sliding off the bed to the garbage bin.

He turns back around, and just looks at Alex, lying all blissful and fucked out on his bed, eyes the clock on the bedside table, it's just after 11. Part of him would like to just climb back into bed and snuggle, but dried come is kind of gross. He has an idea.

“Alex?”

Alex turns his head to the side “Yeah?”

“Bath?”

“Carry me?” He reaches his fingers out for Jack, makes a come hither motion.

Jack obliges, well, kind of. It's not that Alex is too heavy (Because he's fucking tiny and gorgeous and perfect) but Jack is not in anyway comparable to Zack's muscular figure, so it's more Alex leaning into his side as they shuffle into the bathroom.

He directs Alex to sit on the toilet seat, ignores his protests of 'It's too cold, get me a towel you asshole' instead reaching to put the plug in, starts the water running. He's pretty confident both him and Alex can fit, it's huge ass bathtub.

“Bubbles” Alex says.

“What?”

“Bubbles.” He says again, “Top cabinet”

Jack opens said cabinet, pulls out a container of no tears lavender bubble mix, raises an eyebrow.

“No bubbles, no bath” Alex says, sticking his tongue out.

“Fine.” Actually, lavender bubbles sound awesome, will probably smell awesome and lull them both off into a sated sleepy state. Jack is down with bubbles.

Deeming the bath full enough, Jack turns off the water, steps into the tub, spreads his legs and hangs his casted arm over the edge, away from the water. He pats the water in front of him, splashes a little.

“Coming?”

He grabs Alex's arm to steady him and he steps into the tub as well (Doesn't need Alex to slip and crack his head open or anything,) back resting against Jack's chest.

They sit in the warm water, Alex swishing his hands amongst the bubbles, before his tilts his head back to stare up at Jack.

“So, hey” He says.

“Hey what?”

“That was pretty awesome” He says, and Jack kisses the top of his forehead.

“Told you i'd make it good” He says.

Alex snorts, “Really though, thanks for being so good to me”

His voice takes a more serious tone and Jack can't tell if he means just now or in general. He goes with just now. Seriously, he's going to fucking kill whoever would make it so that Alex would thank him for thinking of Alex during sex. He's actually going to find out and really hurt them, makes a mental note to ask Rian about it.

“Alex, you're the most precious thing to me, of course I wanted it to be good for you” He says, and Alex just hums and kisses the bottom of his chin, returns to making a mountain of bubbles.

They sit in the bath till the water goes cold and Alex shivers, waggling his pruny fingers at Jack before he steps up and out of the tub.

“You coming?”

Jack resists the urge to say that he already has.

Truthfully, the soft scent of lavender has pretty much melted the remaining parts of Jack's brain and he doesn't want to get up.

He does though, reaching to pull out the plug before taking the fluffy blue towel Alex is holding out to him.

They head back into Alex's room to find pajamas, Alex's sleep pants just a little short on him, so he nabs a pair of socks to cover his ankles, flips Alex off when he laughs. Cold ankles are serious business.

He sits on the side of the bed as Alex tests.

“You gotta connect back the the motherboard, batman?”

Alex raises an eyebrow. “Batman, batman?”

“I don't even know okay it made sense in my head.” Jack whines. Batman totally has a motherboard stashed somewhere, the fucker.

Alex laughs. “Yeah sure it did, back in a sec”

Jack pulls the blankets they'd tossed off the bed back onto it, makes sure to get rid of the top sheet first – he's not having either of them sleep in any potential wet spots, while he waits for Alex to come back.

Alex returns, urges him downstairs for food, says “Chips and hot chocolate don't count as dinner, Jack” like it isn't nearly midnight now but Jack is kinda hungry as well so he follows obediently.

They reheat some leftover pizza, Alex pouring them a glass of juice each and they sit in the living room watching Conan as they eat before heading back upstairs, Jack stifling a laugh as they pass Alex's pants hanging on the banister.

As per usual, Alex is the little spoon. Jack likes to hold him, he can't protect him during the day, but at night he doesn't ever have to let go.


	28. Chapter 28

Jack wakes before Alex does, doesn't want to move but he really, really has to pee. He doesn't wake Alex as he de-tangles himself from the mess of limbs and twisted doona and when he climbs back into bed he tries to resist the urge to put his cold feet on Alex's legs.

He doesn't fall back to sleep, just rearranges Alex around him again, combs his fingers through the other boys hair. He hopes it's not gonna be awkward when Alex wakes up, knows that this was kind of a big step for them both.

Alex's alarm goes at 8.18 and he stirs, eyes blinking blearily up at Jack as he yawns and stretches and jesus, Jack hopes that hickey at least begins to fade before Alex's parents come back.

“Breakfast?” Alex asks and Jack mumbles something that might be agreement depending on whether there's a heater in the kitchen.

“Dude, i'm pretty sure the underfloor heating is on, and the reverse cycle is on timer for 8.30”

Jack might just marry Alex's house, the tiles in his kitchen are just the normal foot freezing kind.

They make oatmeal, pour honey from one of those bear-shaped containers. (Yet another reason for house-marriage in Jack's eyes)

Alex sits down at the table, winces a little and Jack would feel kind of bad except that Alex just looks him straight in the eye and winks.

It still hasn't started snowing properly and Jack is starting to dread when it does because surely it can't get any fucking colder, he needs thermal mountain climbing underwear or some shit.

Jack puts both their dishes in the dishwasher because he's a nice guy and then turns to Alex.

“Wanna go back and snuggle upstairs?

“Definitely”

Upstairs, it's cooler than Jack remembers, probably because the heaters on downstairs and the bed sheets are all cold and not really good for snuggling without actual effort to make them straight again.

“So you should sing for me” Jack says, nudges Alex towards his acoustic guitar leaning against the side of his closet.

“Dude no, that'd be awkward”

Jack snorts, this is Alex's definition of awkward, of course.

“Come on, i'll sing with you even though i'm terrible”

Alex jsut shakes his head.

“Please? It'll be lots of fun” Jack makes his best hangdog expression.

“Fine, but you better sing with me”

Alex hands his guitar over to Jack “Play me that song I like” He says.

Jack's song repertoire is pretty small but he eventually settles on Green Day, tries to concentrate on playing as Alex sings beside, quietly at first but then louder when Jack adds in his own dulcet tones and if Jack is good at anything it's getting people to drown out his singing.

He falls silent after the first chorus, just content to play (And try not to majorly fuck up the song) and listen to Alex, because god damn the kid can sing and Jack can't believe the guys aren't encouraging him to do it more often, Alex should be in a band or something.

Hell, they could probably start their own band and Jack misses a chord as his mind processes the idea, creating a cartoon version of them playing Blink covers and trying to be cool. It's not the worlds best idea but maybe he could take up the french horn just to spite Alex and get completely awesome at it. Jack's sure Blink would benefit from some french horn.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alex sings for a few songs with Jack, breaks out his electric guitar (Secondhand, and obnoxious bright pink only because it was on sale, not because he likes it, okay) and they swap over, Jack's cast matches the guitar almost perfectly and even Alex is willing to agree that it's pretty damn cute, eventually degenerating into every stupid song they know, all the way down to a surely butchered version of Barbie Girl, Jack standing up and swaying his hips in a move that Alex would really like to learn. He also does a great Ken voice.

It's weird he thinks, maybe he was expecting that sex with Jack would change things, that Jack doesn't have any reason to hang around with him anymore. People change, Alex knows.

But somehow, he can tell that isn't going to happen, because there is no way Jack would be here if he didn't want to be, lord knows he's told Alex at least a million times by now, and Alex isn't sure how to repay him now that it might finally be settling in.

He must zone out, back Jack's hand is waving back and forth in front of his face.

“Hello, anyone home in there?”

Alex sticks his tongue out just in time to lick Jack's hand as it passes.

“Ew!” Jack yelps, indignant, pushing Alex backwards onto the bed and wiping his hand across his forehead.

Alex would fight him, but really, Jack Barakat is on top of him and he likes it.

They go quiet then, faces close to each other's like those cliché movie scenes that always end up with kissing. Alex is totally okay with being a cliché but Jack just brushes their noses together, rolls them over until Alex is on top and yeah, Alex is cool with that. Jack looks pretty good spread out beneath him as well.

Whatever they might've been going to do is interrupted by Alex's phone ringing. It's his mom and he knows better than to let it go to voice mail, she'd probably send a small army of people over to the house.

He picks up, lets his mother interrogate him about his numbers and what he's doing and is Jack there and did Alex makes breakfast and he can hear his father in the background telling his mom to leave them alone, and really, Alex should probably get around to telling his parents about him and Jack.

Obviously, they know he's gay. You don't have a string of rough break-ups, one of which lands you in hospital and have your parents not find out. They've probably got a notion of what's going on anyway and are just waiting for the right time to bring it up. Alex appreciates that.

He dutifully puts Jack on the phone to assure his mom that yes, everythings fine and he whispers sorry in Jacks ear, but Jack just rolls his eyes and takes the phone, smooth talks Isobel into a conversation about the weather in Florida and their golfing par. Alex has never had that ability and he is so going to use Jack's prowess for evil, as soon as figures out just what sort of evil. Most likely not evil at all.

Jack passes the phone back to him and Alex says bye and assures her once again that everything's fine.

“So,” Jack says, “What are we going to do now, oh wonderful one?”

Alex doesn't know. He doesn't really do that much interesting stuff beyond his guitar and video games.

“If i'm bored I usually just prank call Rian” He says.

“That sounds awesome”

They prank call Rian until he threatens to bring Zack over and do inappropriate things in front of them and of course him and Jack both agree which just makes Rian angrier, and therefore funnier.

“If you don't stop calling i'm calling your mom's and telling her you're getting drunk at parties and having unprotected sex” Zack growls after the umpteenth call (And really, why doesn't Rian just not answer?)

“My mom doesn't care” Jack says. (Well she might but Jack doubts she'll believe anything Rian says, even if he is the favourite friend) But Zack just laughs. “Alex's might”

Jack looks at Alex, who sighs in defeat. Damn.

Jack hangs up without another word. “We need a revenge plan” He says.

Alex grins at him, “I have the perfect thing.”

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The perfect thing turns out to be waiting until the next morning and knocking on Rian's door, Jack sweet talking his dad (Jack swings both ways, apparently) into letting them upstairs even though Rian's not home yet and promising not to tell Rian that they're there. Rian's dad is awesome like that.

It is the best revenge plan ever, Rian walking into his room all casual, halfway though getting undressed when him and Jack leap out of his closet, and yes, Rian does scream like the little bitch he is. Multiple times.


	29. Chapter 29

“Jack?” Alex asks a few days later, the two of them at Alex's for strangely enough, another sleepover. (Really, he's pretty sure they could just move into one of their houses, because they sleepover almost constantly. It'd be weird if he didn't adore Jack so much and his parents don't seem to mind, so. Whatever. )

“Sup?”

“I was, I was thinking we could tell my parents.” Alex says in rush, eyes cast to the ground. He's tired of sneaking around, trying to keep a bubble between him and Jack. He's going to slip up eventually and he doesn't want his parents to find out like that. They deserve to hear it from him.

Jack is coming over to him then, swings a gentle arm around Alex's shoulders.

“You sure?”

And then. “Do they even know you're gay?”

“Yeah, you're not my first boyfriend Jacko”

Jack pokes him in the ribs and Alex jumps a foot in the air.

“But i'm the best one, right?”

“You have no idea.”

Jack pulls him back into his arms, “Sure we can tell them, did you mean now or like, later?”

Alex's parents are downstairs, the clattering of pots and pans suggesting they've just started dinner.

“Uhm, now maybe? Get it over with?”

Jack reaches for Alex's hand and squeezes, “You want me to come with?”

“I'm not going down there alone.”

Alex isn't sure how his parents will react, hopes they won't start being different with Jack. He's particularly worried about his father, who has a protective streak the size of Alaska.

They go downstairs, Alex not letting go of Jack's hand for a second, pausing in the entrance to the kitchen. His mom’s stirring a pot of pasta, and his fathers chopping tomatoes.

Alex coughs. “Mom, dad, can I talk to you?”

It's a weirdly bizarre sort of slow-motion thing that happens, they turn around and Alex watches their eyes move down to his and Jack's joined hands.  
His mom stops stirring and his father rests the knife by the cutting board.

“Go on Alexander.” She says.

“Well, uhm, uhm” Fuck. He can't even get the words out, awesome.

“Me and Alex are dating” Jack blurts out from beside him, cringing as Alex turns to look at him.

“Sorry! I just, you weren't saying anything and I thought-”

“Jack, it's fine, it doesn't matter who says it”

Alex tightens his grip on Jack's hand, holds it bone crushingly tight and lifts his gaze to his parents.

“Jack's my boyfriend, has been for the last couple of weeks.” He says.

Their expressions are unreadable.

“Are you sure that's a good idea?” His father says slowly, “I hate to bring up the past, but you know as well as I do what happened last time.”

“I know.” Alex returns, keeps his voice level. “It's not the same.”

He eyes his mom, who's taken a hesitant step towards them.

“Alexander, honey, we should talk about this”

Alex presses himself into Jack's side.

“No. There's nothing to say mom, I swear. It's not gonna be the same okay, Jack wouldn't do that. I won't do that.”

His father stands up from the table then and Alex pushes Jack back against the kitchen counter, behind him. His father rarely so much as ever raises his voice, but Alex is genuinely frightened this time, he can't take Jack away, he just can't.

“Jack, can I speak to you, alone?” He says, and Jack agrees, tries to extract himself from Alex's grip and Alex doesn't want him to go.

“It'll be fine Alex, lemme go” He says and Alex does, not sure what to do as his father and Jack leave the room, his fathers hand firmly on Jack's shoulder. It's not that Alex really thinks his dad will hurt Jack, but he doesn't want Jack to walk away and not come back because his father's freaked him out.

This moment doesn't even feel real and it's a few tense minutes standing in the kitchen with his mother before Alex realises just why he can't seem to catch his breath. Fuck. He doesn't want his mom to see, to notice, but it's clearly too late.

She's maneuvering him over to a chair, hand on the small of his back rubbing gentle circles.

“C'mon honey you're okay, your dad just wants to talk, you know that, everything's gonna be fine.”

Honestly, there's a reason he prefers Zack and Rian and Jack for this sort of thing, his mom gets upset and he hates being told that everything is fine because it isn't, that just makes it worse and he just wants Jack to come back and he isn't going to cry, he isn't.

He squirms out of his mothers grip, slides down onto the kitchen floor, brings his legs up to his chest and tries to calm himself down, even if it's just a little. For his mothers sake.

“Peter, get in here!” He hears her yell over the rushing in his ears, and he kind of wishes the tiles in here weren't warm, were cold like the bathroom ones and his hands are fucking shaking and he sits on them, doesn't want her to see.

He father leans down to next to him, large hand on his Alex's knee and he's too close, too fucking close and Alex knows the strange cries he's hearing are noises he's making but he can't stop himself and he tries to co-ordinate his hands to push his father away.

“Please.” He rasps.

Another pair of feet appear beside him and it's Jack and he's keeping his distance and Alex can't quantify his appreciation. Jack speaks quietly enough that Alex has to concentrate to hear him, soft assurances that he's there and he's not going anywhere and it's okay but he needs to breath, okay?

He's not as confident as Rian, trips over his words but Alex is okay with that, happy that he's trying.

Alex tries to calm down, he really does. But he can't because he remembers, he remembers what happened before and why his parents are afraid it will again, and he doesn't want that for any of them and he doesn't want Jack to find out but he knows he will and he just can't. He doesn't want his parents to push Jack away.

Jack is leaning towards him now, hands hesitantly reaching out towards him.

“I won't touch you if you don't want.” He says

“S'okay” Alex manages, and Jack to his credit, just grabs Alex's trembling hands and holds them in his own, doesn't try to hold him or tell him everything's fine.

His mom holds out a plastic cup of water (She clearly hasn't forgotten that one time he threw a glass across the room) and Jack spares a hand to take it from her, waves it near Alex, who shakes his head. He'll probably choke on it.

It takes forever for him to come down, embarrassment settling into the pit of stomach. His parents have been watching, both of them. They have let Jack take the upper hand though, so maybe things aren't so bad. There's a fundamental difference between them being around when he's high or low, than this. This is private. Something that just belongs to him. They shouldn't have to see.

He tries to stand up and his knees give, send him pitching into Jack's side, who nudges him back into the chair he has originally in.

He takes a few sips of water then, still out of breath, though the pain in his chest has lessened at least a little. He waits for someone to say something, anything.

His dad claps his hands together in an all too loud fashion, before he turns to them.

“I think you two are good for each other.” He says.

“But-” His mom says, and Alex knows this must be the hardest for her, she's always taken the emotional brunt of what's happened in his life, and she trusts only two people really, doctors and his dad.

“Izzy, at least give them a chance” He makes a gesture to Jack that Alex supposes covers 'our son just had a panic attack and nobody died' and his mother just makes this tiny little smile.

Alex reaches for her then, murmurs a thank you into her hair as she crushes him as only a mother can get away with.

She pulls away. “You should head upstairs and lie down for bit. And test.”

Because no matter the situation, she likes to micromanage him.

She pulls Jack into an awkward hug, “You too.” She tells him.

Alex doesn't have the words to thank her, not really.

He lets Jack lead him upstairs, and they end up lying on Alex's bed, no blankets because Alex is still stupidly warm.

“Are you okay?” Jack says, after a moment of silence.

Alex shrugs as best he can. He is lying down after all. “I dunno. I think so.”

Jack's fingers brush his fringe out of his eyes. “You know i'm here if you want to talk.”

Alex does know, and it's a feeling not unlike a blanket, knowing Jack's there to bounce things off, someone to share the weight with. He'd keep Jack on his bed forever if he could.


	30. Chapter 30

Jack's not entirely sure how telling Alex's parents actually went. On the one hand they pretty much gave Jack their blessing but it took a few serious words and Alex having a panic attack to do it. Jack doesn't think for one second that if he hadn't been able to calm Alex down at least a little, that things would've gone so well.

He's no Rian, but Jack likes to think he made a passable attempt to help Alex. He's not sure whether it's an achievement or not.

Jack's not lying when he says Peter Gaskarth can be a scary guy. He'd told Jack to sit on the couch while he stood, said that if he hurts his son he'd better not see Jack again as long as he lives and it's really fucking intimidating. Alex has a lot of people on his side and it's a good thing, but Jack doesn't want any of their protectiveness aimed at him again. He wants to be the protector.

He dreads to think of what might've happened to previous guys who've hurt Alex, if that response is anything to go by. At least though, the truth is out there and that's all that matters. He might wait a while before telling his own mother though, just in case.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jack ends up at Rian's house a few days later, Alex going to meet relatives in New York.

He wants answers.

Rian humours him a for a bit, plays a few rounds of Grand Theft Auto and lets him eat half a packet of Doritos before he sets his controller down and turns off the TV.

“What do you want?”

Jack raises an eyebrow.

“Who says I want anything? Maybe I just want to play video games with my bestie”

“I appreciate the sentiment Jack, but we both know that's not the truth.”

“Fine. It's Alex.” He says.

Rian laughs, throws his feet up onto the couch and nestles them into Jack's lap.

“Well I know that already, if it was anything else you'd be actually you know, talking to Alex. What can I do for you today in the land of Gaskarth?”

“Rian, we went all the way (Because saying sex in front of Rian is just weird) and he thanked me for being nice to him and we told his parents and they freaked out about something that happened before and Peter scared the shit out of me, and I don't care what planet on you're on that is seriously fucked up, and I want to know why”

Rian's voice is level when he answers. He knows all about that night, Alex calling him after Jack had left.

“Why don't you ask Alex then?”

“I don't want to hurt him.”

“So what, you're happy to go just go behind his back?”

“It's not like that I just, I just really want to fucking punch whoever hurt him in the face”

Rian sighs, like Jack is always this huge drain on his time and energy. He probably is, most of Jack's conversations with Rian aren't exactly normal.

“Let me call Alex, because i'm not going to be the bad guy here.”

Rian steps out of the room, pauses to stick his head back in the door frame.

“Don't even think about eavesdropping.”

Psh. Jack wouldn't do that. Not now, at least.

He swings his feet anxiously against the carpet. He doesn't want Alex to think he's gone behind his back to find out his secrets, which is totally what he's doing and now Rian's telling him and fuck, Jack could be in trouble here.

Rian's face is carefully blank when he comes back into the room.

“Alex says you're an idiot and that you can ask him anything, but he can't tell you this, so i've been given the delightful job.”

Jack owes Rian a lifetime of well, something that Rian likes. He's the nicest, most genuine person Jack knows and Alex is damn lucky to have him.

Jack nods, “So he's not angry?”

Rian gives him a wry smile, “No, he's not. But god help you if you make him upset about this again I will not be happy.”

Jack just nods again, waits patiently for Rian to start what he knows is going to be a unpleasant story.

“So,” Rian takes a deep breath, tries to figure out how he's going to word this, make it short and simple.

“Alex had this one really bad breakup, I mean we've all had a few shitty ones, but this one was fucked up. I could've killed the guy, and no doubt Alex's dad was thinking it as well. That's why he wanted to speak with you, scare you a little, make sure you were serious.

It was like, a year and a half ago now, Alex met this guy called Aaron, he seemed like a nice enough dude, played basketball and babysat his little sisters and stuff like that. He was really attentive at first, a lot more hesitant than you, but he was always there if Alex needed someone. Alex wasn't on medication for anything then, so he was pretty rough to be around sometimes.”

Jack swallows noisily, knows this guy ends up being to good to be true and part of him doesn't want to hear this, not really. But he needs to.

“Then one morning I get a call from Alex, the night after their first time, saying that Aaron's left him a note saying he's too much work and he should just kill himself if he's that depressed and that Alex should just stop being a self centred bitch and eat some fucking cake for once in his life.”

Rian's hands curl up into fists and Jack mirrors him, fists them into his jeans. How fucking dare he, dare anyone do that. Alex was vulnerable and this bastard took advantage of that.

Rian falls silent, seemingly trying to pick out his words.

“What....what happened?” Jack whispers, he doesn't want to know but he's come too far to not find out, at least Alex is still here, has recovered for the most part.

“Alex, well, he was okay for the first week after, a bit quiet but we honestly thought he was okay and then my parents and Zack and I went away for a few days, and, and when we came back, Alex was in hospital. We shouldn't have left him.”

Rian draws a shaky breath.

“Turns out he'd just stopped. Stopped eating or if he was, he was throwing it up, stopped taking his insulin, i'm pretty sure he was awake for the whole three days I was gone and he just passed out at his parents kitchen table one night.”

Jack is struggling to process everything.

“Tell me you hurt him, please.”

“Alex's dad was so, so angry when Alex told him where the note was, that he took it and went over to visit Aaron's parents, who of course had no fucking idea, and they moved schools before Alex came back, said they were sorry like that would change things.”

“That's not what I meant.” Jack snaps.

“I might've held him while Zack broke his nose one afternoon” Rian says quietly.

“Sometimes I wished we could've broken every bone in his body.”

Jack agrees. There's breaking up with someone and then there's being the scum of the earth. Anyone who tells someone else to kill themselves over anything is immediately in Jack's line of fire. His heart aches for Alex, to know that he'd hurt himself over this and he should have fucking never had to.

“Tell me he doesn't live anywhere near here.” He says, because if he finds out that this guy's only a few blocks away or something, he will find him.

Rian shakes his head. “They moved to the next county, last I heard.”

“That's why Alex's parents are so protective, said Alex should reconsider us.” Jack muses.

“Yeah well, you can see why, Isobel couldn't have it happen again, it'd break her.”

Rian's hand comes to squeeze his knee.

“Alex told me about the other night, so I think you're on their good side.” He says.

It's a small comfort.

“Is he really okay though? I know he says he is, but sometimes I just don't know.” Jack confesses.

“He's fine for the most part, it's not usually an issue because we don't have to talk about it, he's moved on.”

“I just don't want him to think that i'd ever do that.”

Jack understands more now, how Alex had tried so hard to convince him in the beginning that he wasn't worth Jack's time, trying to protect himself. He could never, ever be that guy, but what he knows and what he needs to prove to Alex are two different things.

“Jack, Alex adores you. I honestly don't think he believes you'd hurt him, but his heart's telling him to be careful, just in case. Just keep doing whatever you're doing and you'll be fine. He trusts you.

“I don't have any idea what i'm doing.”

And it's true, 99% of the time Jack is just doing what feels right, or what he's learnt from Rian or the internet.

“Exactly.”

Maybe he's over thinking things.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That evening, Jack paces around the kitchen until his mother bans him, says he's being distracting and if he has so much energy he's welcome to put a load of laundry on.

He actually does, flinging the clothes into the machine, nearly sending washing powder flying everywhere. He can't concentrate.

Jack's mind is on Alex, stuck on the part where Alex had hurt himself, stopped caring. It's a feeling Jack is all too familiar with and though they're not quite the same, he never, ever wants Alex to stop caring about himself.

He manages to fill another hour before he cracks and texts Alex, he had said it was only a day trip, maybe he's home? Jack wants to see him.

He jumps when his phone vibrates in his pocket and he breathes a sigh of relief.

Home now, come cuddle? I know. - Alex.

From an outsiders perspective, Jack could see how Alex's response could be kind of ominous, but that's just Alex for you, straight to the point because he hates texting but refuses to use chat speak beyond the addition of smiley faces.

It takes him a while to convince his mom to drive him, it's dark and cold out.

“Jack, do you really have to go tonight?

“I promise it's important.” He says, and he must look serious enough because his mother sighs, stands up from the couch and goes to put her shoes on.

“I'll be back for you at eleven, no excuses” She says.

That's two and a half hours from now. Jack will take it.

He's jittery in the car, switches from radio station to radio station and back again and he catches his mothers eye after the third run through.

“Is Alex okay?” She questions, before frowning a little. “Are you okay?”

Jack doesn't know how to answer. “I just, I need to see him. I'm fine.” He says, tries to not give anything away, his mom doesn't need to know, but he can't have her thinking he's back to his old ways.

She seems happy enough with his answer, batting his hands away from the controls and switching the channel over to classical music.

“You had your chance.” She says, and “Leave it.” When he reaches to change it. Fucking dramatic piano and violins and probably cello's are not helping here.

He scrambles out of the car when they reach Alex's house, is halfway across the Gaskarth's porch before his mom's even put the car into reverse. He's a little nervous about seeing Alex's parents again.

He knocks, and thankfully, it's Alex who answers.

“Hey, wha-” Jack cuts him off, wraps his arms around Alex and pulls him as close as he can, arms around his neck and fingers hooked into his hoodie.

Alex stiffens for a moment, before he hugs back, presses his nose against Jack's neck.

“Upstairs” Is all he says.

There's no sight of Isobel or Peter as they make their way to the staircase and Jack wonders if Alex has told them no, or if they're just not overly worried. Either way, it's a good thing.

Being in Alex's room, having Alex sit next to him at the foot of the bed, makes Jack feel simultaneously better and worse.

“Are you okay?”

Jack shrugs, he has no fucking clue, just wants to keep Alex here, close to him.

“Rian said he told you, about him.” Alex continues, and Jack manages to stop thinking about himself for a minute, actually look at the hesitant expression on Alex's face.

“I, Alex, you know i'd never do that right, never?” He says in a rush.

“I know you wouldn't, but sometimes it's all I can think about.” Alex says.

Jack just clings to Alex tighter. “I wouldn't, Alex, I swear to god. Please don't ever...”

He trails off, doesn't want to finish that train of thought.

“Jack hey, it's okay. I know you're not like him, you're so much better”

Jack's not convinced.

“Promise me you'll never stop taking care of yourself.”

Alex nudges his chin up with a finger, fixes his eye's on Jack's.

“I promise. I wouldn't do that to my parents, or to you or Rian or Zack. I'm not that person anymore.”

They cuddle together until Isobel comes to let them know Jack's mom is here for them, on top of the covers because they're too lazy to get up and pull them back, clinging to each other for warmth. As his feet tangle with Alex's, Jack realises he hasn't even taken his shoes off. Oh well. At least his feet are warm.


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little delay on updating because I had to travel quite the way to see and meet ATL in real life :D

There's a slight crust of half-melted, brownish sludge that could be the first sign of snow on the ground as the four of them make their way across the parking lot. They're finally making good on their arrangement to go bowling. Fortunately, Jack's bowling arm isn't his broken one, so all is good.

“God damnit it's fucking freezing!” Alex whines, tugging at his coat. He's wearing a scarf, mittens, (Fucking mittens, it's makes Jack's heart melt just looking at them) hoodie and a beanie. Jack would laugh at him, but he's in the same boat here and he's genuinely worried about his eyeballs freezing in their sockets.

“You're such a fucking pussy” Zack snarks, just wearing a light jacket.

“Fuck you.” Alex snaps back, flipping Zack off in the sassiest manner possible.

“I think that's Jack's job.”

From underneath his scarf, Jack can actually see the blush making it's way up Alex's cheeks.

“Damn right it is” He says.

They leave Jack in charge of putting their names into the system – a limit of four characters for each name, which is fine because all their names have four letters but really, they should know better than to leave Jack alone.

They're playing as Lexy, RiRi, Tank and Jark. Jack likes to put on a stupid fake French accent when he says it, along with sassy hand gestures. That's just how he rolls.

“You're an idiot” Alex says, coming over to sit beside him, ruffling his hands through Jack's hair.

“It's a hard job, but someone’s gotta do it”

“What do you say we get this shit started” Rian announces with a grin.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rian is the most terrible player Jack's ever seen. He's on par with Alex's skateboarding. What happens in the gutter stays in the gutter has never been more true. They probably should've got the bumpers put up. It's cute to watch how Zack tries to be supportive though, even doing that cliché 'Babe, let me show you' and using it as an excuse to feel Rian up. It's sweet.

In the end it's a sudden death playoff between Alex and Zack, Zack ahead by just two points.

Jack picks up some metaphorical pom poms and does his best cheerleader impression. Alex loses. Oh well, Jack can only do so much.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They head across the road to have lunch at some vintage themed diner and Jack has to admit it's pretty cool, with checkered lino and waitresses in poodle skirts.

“Not to diss on you guys or anything, but why this place?” He asks, curious.

“Milkshakes!” The three of them say in unison, and it's kind of creepy how excited they all look.

“Seriously, they make the best milkshakes ever” Alex continues, “In ever flavour imaginable”

Rian and Zack head up to the counter but Alex lingers, frowning up at the menu board. Jack nudges him with a shoulder.

“Trouble deciding?”

“Wanna split one with me? I probably shouldn't have the whole thing” Alex says quietly. Oh.

“Sure thing, as long as I get my own straw, I am not waiting to take turns because they look freaking awesome”

“Deal.”

The milkshakes are the most delicious thing ever. Him and Alex are splitting vanilla mocha malt and Jack's tried Zack's triple chocolate and Rian's banana berry. It's like a sexy party inside his mouth and his taste buds are on crack. Also, he really, really likes the way Alex's cheek brushes his as they drink at the same time.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rian and Zack part ways afterwards, Zack mumbling something about alone time with his boyfriend and Jack isn't one to harsh on anyone's sex life.

It's too cold outside for them to wander around for long, but Jack just pulls Alex close as they wander along the strangely quiet streets. Well, it's not that strange actually, near freezing temperatures tend to make people want to stay indoors.

“Jack?” Alex says, peering up at Jack because Jack's taller than he usually is, just bought a new pair of shoes with a few extra inches that he doesn't need but awesome sneakers in purple and lime green are hard to get a hold of, so whatever. Being a gigantor is worth it.

“Yeah?”

“What about your mom? I mean, i'm not saying we should tell her right now or anything, but I want to be prepared and I probably sound like an idiot right now but I just -”

“Alex,” Jack interrupts what he's sure is going to be Alex just talking faster and faster and worrying himself into a frenzy.

“My mom knows i'm bi, and she likes you, so I don't think it'll be too big a deal. She might want to kiss your cheeks and feed you chocolate cake because she thinks you're too skinny and take a picture to show all our friends back home, but that's about it.”

Alex blinks at him. “She's really like that?”

“Yeah, she'd be cool with it, honest. If you're worried, I can tell her by myself.”

“But you were there for me” Alex says.

“Alex it doesn't bother me at all, if telling my mom is something you don't think you want to be there for, that's totally okay.”

Jack doesn't want Alex to feel like he has to be there because Jack was there for him. It's a completely different set of circumstances. The worst break up Jack's ever had is his girlfriend at the time walking in on him being fucked by some random guy he'd met at a party, definitely not the same situation. And his mother does not, and will not ever know about it.

Alex nudges him affectionately with a shoulder.

“If that'd be okay, maybe, maybe I might not come. If it's okay.”

Jack nudges Alex back, kisses the top of his beanie and hoodie covered head.

“It's more than okay, if that's what you want to do.”

Jack doesn't mind telling his mom alone, the last thing he wants to do is have Alex be uncomfortable, his mom practically has a homing signal for nervous people and she loves to chat them out of it, thinking she's helping.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alex's dad picks them up from the few blocks they wandered, drops Jack off at home.

Jack will admit he's a weensy, teensy bit nervous. He's knows it'll be fine, his mom has always been fine with who he is but encountering Alex's parents has him on edge all the same.

He's going to tell his mom, she's gonna be cool with it and possibly make something delicious to celebrate and then he's going to call Alex to tell him the good news. Simple, easy and as good as done.


	32. Chapter 32

The first thought to cross Jack's mind as he ditches his coat and shoes into a pile in the hall is that maybe Alex's anxiety is contagious.

“Mom?” He just wants this to be done with.

“In the living room!” Jack tries to stride purposefully into the room. In reality, it's probably more of a dog-like slinking. He sits on the arm of the sofa, away from his mother.

“Mom, I kind of have something important to tell you.” He says hesitantly.

His mother's eyes narrow and she stares at him.

“Is this a good important thing or a not-so-good important thing?”

“Well, uhm, good I guess?” It sounds more like a question and Jack hates that, Alex is the best thing, and all he can come up with is 'good I guess'?  
He tries to dig up some resolve.

“Honey,” His mom pats the seat next to her and Jack moves to sit there, perched awkwardly on the edge of the cushion. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

This is it.

“Me and Alex are dating.” He says, mouth dry.

Jack is not expecting his mother to smile at himand then start laughing. Proper laughter too, her eyes watering and she locks eyes with him and laughs even harder.

“Uh, mom? Is everything okay?” He hopes she isn't having some bizarre sort of emotional breakdown.

She reaches over to ruffle his hair.

“Jack, Alex has slept over more times than i've actually met Rian or Zack and every spare minute you have it's 'Alex said this' or 'Alex did that', did you really think I didn't know? You and I both know you're not very good at being subtle sweetheart”

Well yes, Jack did think that.

“You knew and you didn't tell me?!” He says indignantly.

His mom shrugs, reaches for a tissue on the coffee table to wipe her eyes.

“I knew you'd tell me when you were ready.”

“So, you're not mad or anything?”

Logically, Jack knows that he knew that his mom would be fine with it but still. This is just awesome, and his jaw hurts from how wide his smile is.

His mother kisses him fondly on the forehead. “I love you and Alex seems like a very nice boy. I'm happy for the both of you.”

Jack leans his forehead against her shoulder. His mom is fucking awesome.

“There is one thing though” She continues.

Jack's grin falters a little.

“Yeah?”

“I don't care what you do, but there will be no sex in this house while i'm here. And it stays in your room, okay?”

Jack covers his face with his hands. His mother doesn't sugar-coat things at all.

“Mo-om.” He whines.

“Well, it had to be mentioned. Do you want the be safe talk as well?”

“No!” Jack half-yells. “I get the picture. Really I do.”

“Excellent. Now, when are you inviting this boyfriend of yours over again, I feel like we should have a proper meal, lord knows the boy needs it.”

That's Jack's mom for you. Sure son, I already knew you had a boyfriend, don't have sex while i'm home and let me make dinner for you. She's fucking brilliant, and Jack loves her so much.

He can't wait to tell Alex.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alex pulls off his hoodie and scarf and beanie and mittens in the hallway, does his best to scrape the muddy mess off the bottom of shoes on the mat before toeing them off as well.

He's not that worried about Jack's mom. Joyce Barakat is like, the nicest woman Alex knows after his own mother, and Zack and Rian's mom’s. As a group, they have some pretty awesome (And attractive – Mrs Merrick has got it going on, even Alex can't deny that) group of mothers. So he's only a tiny bit worried.

He shuffles into the kitchen to test and eat, his mom's switched from a soup diet to a salad one, and hell as long as there's plenty of salad dressing (Because without it lettuce just tastes gross) Alex is happy.

Upstairs, he puts away the basket of washing his mom's left for him and gets in a few solid games of Tetris on his laptop. He needs to maintain his lead over Matt, who's only a level or two behind him, depending on what nights he's not working at the restaurant.

It seems like forever before he gets a phone call from Jack, saying that his mom already knew and is cool with it (Jack's mom is so, so awesome) and passes on the sex rules.

Alex is cool with that, if not a little embarrassed about Jack's mom presuming they do sexy things. (Even though they do) It's not like Joyce doesn't have to go to work sometime.


	33. Chapter 33

Alex comes over the next afternoon, after Jack's mom had dragged him to like seven hundred stores looking for the perfect hat for her work luncheon. (Even though she's going to take the hat off as soon as she's inside – women. Jack does not understand sometimes.)

She greets Alex with a proper hug and Jack can see Alex blushing from underneath his scarf but he's smiling and laughing so whatever, Jack is happy.

His mother rests her purchases on the kitchen table and turns to them.

“Afternoon snack boys? I'm sure i've got some leftover cookie dough and hot chocolate”

Jack claps his hands, cookies, awesome. He look over at Alex, who looks like he might be going to laugh at him. Psh. Cookies make him happy so Alex can just shut the fuck up.

“Mom, you know you don't even have to ask.”

His mother laughs, digs through the fridge and pulls out half a roll of premade choc-chip cookie dough before looking through the cupboards for the tray Jack knows he was in charge of putting away last time but he doesn't think he put it where it's supposed to go.

He watches Alex reach hesitantly for the roll of dough, pausing when he catches Jack's gaze.

“Knock yourself out” He says.

His mom looks up at them then, “Alex honey, whatcha reading that for? Lord knows you don't need to watch what you eat” she says.

Alex looks awkward and Jack sees the way he puts on a polite smile. One day, they're going to have to tell his mom that Alex is diabetic before she reaches the same conclusion Jack originally did.

“I just like to read Mrs B, maybe i'll try and teach Jack sometime”

“Hey!” Jack pouts.

Alex and his mom are laughing now and Jack can read just fine thank you very much, but he knows hat Alex was just trying to come up with something on short notice so it's okay.

“You don't have to sit here and watch, I promise i'll call you the minute they're done” She says, swatting at Jack with her tea towel.

Jack can take a hint.

“My room?” He asks and Alex nods, scraping his chair on the floor as he goes to stand.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jack throws himself on his bed, pats the spot next to him but Alex just waves a hand at him and pulls out his phone.

“You can snuggle and check your phone, don't have to leave me here all alone” Jack whines, making his best sad face.

Alex's lips twitch up into a smile before he flips his phone around so Jack can see he's just running the calculator on it.

“Just wanna get a head start on this awesome snack we're having” he says.

“Oh well, you can at least sit while you do that, right?”

Jack sits up against the pillows, spreads his legs to make a spot for Alex to sit between them, back against Jack's chest and he tries not to yelp when Alex digs an elbow straight into his stomach as he fumbles under his hoodie for his pump. Kid is fucking bony.

He rests his head on Alex's shoulder and watches as he programs the insulin in and it's endlessly fascinating for Jack, the way Alex taps away at the screen without a second thought, how this tiny little box is his lifeline to normalcy. It beeps in Alex's hands and the other boy sighs and wedges it into his pocket this time, tubing poking out in the gap between pocket and the bottom of his hoodie.

“All good?”

“Done and dusted.” Alex says, leaning properly back against him.

“So, your mom gotta work tomorrow?” He asks, and for a moment Jack is confused why Alex would want to know and then it hits him.

“Mhm, she leaves at eight, you got plans, Gaskarth?”

“Maybe I do, maybe I don't.”

Jack can't wait to find out, even if it is cold as balls in his room in the mornings. They can make like Zack and Rian and have fort-sex. (It's important to remember to knock, as Jack now knows.)

The cookies are awesome, as per usual – not as good as the ones his mom makes herself but let's be honest, it's pretty hard to fuck up a cookie. (Unless you're Jack and can't operate the oven and therefore burn things) and he holds his hand up to hi-five Alex afterwards because he's not as high as he thought he'd be. He likes celebrating little things like that with his boyfriend, it makes Jack happy to know that Alex genuinely wants to include him, keep him in the loop.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alex calls his parents later on, he wasn't planning on staying over but now that he has plans for Jack he definitely does want to stay, and they're pretty easy to convince. His mother grabbing the phone off his father halfway through their conversation to remind him to be good and take care of himself, like Jack might just corrupt him into eating sugar straight out of the container and running around naked in the snow.

“Mom, i'll be fine, i'm always fine and i've slept over like a million times and it's been fine. Stop worrying about me.” He says, smiling as he speaks, and even though he knows she won't, he still has to say it. Moms are supposed to worry, and children are supposed to tell them not to.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------

It's snowing outside when Alex's phone alarm wakes him at 8.30, a slight concession that he's considering a 'sleep-in' although by the loud wail Jack makes as he attempts to hide under the covers might mean that he doesn't agree.

Jack's mom is off to work, Alex hearing the garage door open and close and the house is quiet now save for the whirring of the little electric heater in the corner of the room.

Alex lets Jack be for the minute, rolls out of bed to pee and test because if he goes low in the middle of this he's going to be pissed, makes an executive decision to err on the side of caution and ruffles through his overnight bag for one of the snacks his mother is so adamant about him having in there. Alex agrees as well, just doesn't think he needs as many as his mother thinks he does. He eats quickly, despite the heater it's freaking cold and if he takes his snack back to bed he might never get around to waking Jack up and will probably fall back to sleep himself.

He hops back into bed when he's done, pushes Jack away from where he's rolled into what Alex has claimed as his 'side' and deliberately presses his cold feet against Jack's legs.

Jack twitches away, head coming out from the under the covers, pouting.

“How could you Alex, how could you?”

Alex smirks. “Quite easily”

Jack just makes a sad noise.

“Is there a reason you're awake or is this a new form of torture you've invented called never let Jack sleep in because my name is Alexander the asshole?”

Alex just leans forward and shuts Jack up with his mouth, trailing insistent kisses along his jawline before he pulls away.

Plan, meet action.

“What do you say we take advantage of the fact your moms not gonna be home for a while, unless you'd rather go back to sleep of course?”

Jack doesn't reply, just tilts his head back towards Alex's, presses their lips together, slides his hands underneath Alex's shirt to fit around his waist.

“If we ditch the blankets, i'll keep you warm” He murmurs against Alex's lips, breath warm between them and as Alex nods together they shift the covers back, cold air rushing at their skin. Alex pulls his pump from his waistband then, shoves it as far away from the them as the tubing allows, out of the way, shoots Jack a hesitant look as he does and Jack just kisses him.

“S'fine, as usual” He says, and Alex smiles up at him.

Alex shivers and Jack pushes the other boy underneath him, pulls off his own shirt and Alex follows and Jack leans down to suck at a nipple, loves the way Alex is so responsive, hands coming down to Jack's ass and sliding underneath his pants and boxers, kneading at the flesh and pushing their half-hard cocks together in stilted little movements.

It doesn't take long before they're panting against each other, the crisp cool of the morning forgotten as they shed pants and underwear and Jack's again reminded of the fact that he really needs to go down on Alex sometime in the future, wants him to come down his throat just like Alex had let him do. But not today, because blowjobs don’t exactly keep you warm enough when it's fucking snowing outside and it's not as magical as Narnia would have Jack believe. (The snow, not blowjobs. Jack is of the opinion that blowjobs are the best kind of magic.)

“Jack, less daydreaming, more fucking” Alex says from below him and Jack realises he's just been sitting on Alex's thighs, staring at the other boys cock. He blushes and Alex swats at him.

Jack fumbles for the lube and condoms he keeps under his bed – his mother has a tendency to put his clothes away so his bedside drawers aren't exactly a safe place, and what his mother thinks and what she knows are two different things.

Alex stays on his back this time, and Jack nudges his hips up, slides a pillow underneath to make him more comfy and also because he wants to watch Alex's pretty pink hole clench around his fingers, shiny with lube. He likes to make Alex squirm under him in pleasure, call his name in that tone of voice that he only reaches when Jack presses right against that one spot and let's face it, Jack's a tease at heart and there's nothing better than dragging your boyfriend to the edge and then pulling him back again.

It doesn't take long before Alex's hand comes down to wrap around his wrist, “M'good I swear, get up here or i'm going to have a one man party” he says, and Jack isn't going to argue, he can tease Alex some more when he forgets in a few minutes.

It takes him a few tries to open the condom, fingers slipping against the foil and he spares a moment to flip Alex off as the boy honest to god giggles at him. See how much he's laughing when Jack's fucking him straight into next week.

Jack is going to be so, so happy when his cast finally comes off. The novelty of the dick artwork is getting kind of old and his misses being able to hold Alex properly. Not to mention how good it'll be when he has the extra arm so he can convince Alex to let Jack fuck him against a wall sometime. Jack's tried it once, with a girl and it was awesome, so logic should stand that with Alex it's going to be one of his more brilliant ideas.

He slides in, groans at how Alex deliberately clenches around him, the fucker.

He's a few thrusts in, yet to build up an actual rhythm, just enjoying how tight and warm Alex is around him, when Alex's hands tap at his back.

“Hey, actually” Alex says and Jack frowns, confused.

Alex's forehead creases adorably and even though no ones home he leans forward to whisper in Jack's ear. “I kind of, uhm, want to ride you?”

Holy motherfucking shit Alex is actually going to kill him.

“Baby, you don't even have to ask because that is the hottest fucking thing' He says, maybe a little incoherently because he can’t even believe that this is going to happen.

He pulls out of Alex, helps the other boy into a sitting position and takes his spot on the bed, watches as Alex lifts a knee to straddle him, cock hard and red against his stomach, precome beading at the tip and Jack kind of really wants to lick it off.

Alex fits his hands to Jack's shoulders, let's Jack slide a hand down to his own cock to guide himself in as Alex shifts down. Jack tries his hardest not to thrust up, let's Alex take his time to adjust, knows it's a big change from one position to another before Alex let's him slide out nearly all the way and sinks abruptly back down.

“Jesus fuck, Lex” Jack groans, fingers probably digging bruises into Alex's bony hips but he'll be damned if he can stop himself as he meets Alex's now grinding ass.

He had no idea Alex was even capable of moving his hips like he is, like some porn star, grinding down on Jack's cock and make these pretty, pretty noises like he's surprised at how good he can make himself feel. Jack's more than happy to let him go for it, meets Alex halfway each time, reaches a hand up to grip the base of Alex's neck, pull him down so he can slide his tongue against the others, swallow the sounds Alex continues to make.

“Unh, Jack” Alex whines, fingers splayed on the mattress beside Jack's head now, leaning down, pushing Jack even deeper inside him as they kiss, Alex taking the opportunity to suck on Jack's tongue when the other lets out a groan, and Jack is just, it's so fucking good, his cock pressed deep into Alex like this and he could do this forever except that he really wants to come.

Alex reaches for his cock, and Jack shoves his hand away, replaces it with his own. He can tell Alex is close, the way his whole body shivers and his eyes are lidded with pleasure.

“C'mon, come for me” he says, tightens his fingers around the tip of Alex's cock and Alex doesn't disappoint, grinds down one final time and near growls out Jack's name and Alex clenching around him is enough to make Jack come as well, toes curling into the sheets.

Alex stays where he is for a minute or two, hand coming up to brush his damp fringe away from his face as they start to cool down and just-fucked Alex is one of Jack's new favourite things.

He hopes Alex never stops being a man who makes plans.


	34. Chapter 34

When Jack awakes and rubs the sleep out of his eyes the clock reads just after twelve. Fuck, they were just having a post-sex nap. His mother finishes at three and he supposes now there's little chance of persuading Alex to go for round two.

Beside him, Alex is still sleeping. Jack doesn't want to wake him, it's nice to see Alex so completely at ease, not having to worry about anything, but he knows that Alex should probably test and they should probably get themselves cleaned up. And change the sheets.

“Alex.” He shakes the other boys shoulder. No response.

“Alex, wake up.”

“Alex, wake the fuck up” Jack digs his fingers into Alex's sides and Alex curls away from him, emitting a noise that Jack can only describe as a muted wail of no.

Alex blinks up at him, “Why would you do that Jack, why?” He pouts.

“S'time to get up, we've been sleeping for hours.” Jack says.

Alex shrugs. “Sleeping now, shush” and attempts to roll over. It's like he's not even awake.

“Alex, wake up” Jack persists, “It's after twelve, shouldn't you uh, shouldn't you test?”

Jack kind of mumbles the last part, he's not entirely sure if this a boundary he's allowed to cross, suggesting to Alex what he should and shouldn't be doing. Fuck.

Alex rolls over and stares at him for a long minute. Fuckfuckfuck.

But then Alex's his lips twitch up into a smile.

“You're turning into Rian” He says, reaching out to pinch Jack's cheek. Not the reaction Jack was expecting.

He must look bewildered because Alex is sliding closer to him, leaning his head against Jack's shoulder.

“Stop looking so freaked out, it's not like i'm gonna yell at you”

“I just, I just didn't want you to think that I was telling you what to do because I don't want to do that, I know you can take care of yourself and I don't want to imply that you can't and;” Jack's babbling now but he can't quite seem to catch hold of his tongue to stop himself.

“Jack, calm down” Ales squeezes his hand.

“I really appreciate you waking me up and it's okay for you to ask me that kind of stuff, don't ever think that i'd get angry with you for being worried, alright?”

Jack rests his chin on Alex's head. Of course it's fine, because Alex is the sweetest person Jack's ever known and it's like he can read Jack's mind sometimes, completely ignore the stupid shit that comes out of Jack's mouth.

“Sorry, I was just worried you didn't need anyone else to be Rian except Rian” He says, and Alex snickers into his neck.

“Trust me, no one else could even touch the level of mothering Rian has reached and that's a good thing because I don't want to sleep with my mother or Rian.”

“I'd sleep with your mother and Rian's for that matter. Lady is hot.”

Alex kicks him.

“Ow!” Jack yelps. Alex just gives him a grin.

“Y'wanna grab my stuff for me then, mommy?”

Jack flips Alex off but obliges, limps dramatically over to Alex's bag and makes to throw his meter case at the other boys head, cheering when Alex raises his hands to protect himself.

He walks back cross the room limp forgotten to hand it to Alex, before heading to start the shower running, they both could use one.

He pauses in the doorway.

“Did you wanna shower together to save water, or are we having lunch first?”

“I would suggest we eat in the shower but that would be kind of weird” Alex says, and Jack comes back into the room for a hoodie, lunch it is.

Together they manage to make rather excellent (By their standards, anyway) ham and tomato grilled sandwiches, and for the most part also manage not make a mess of the kitchen. The milk Jack spilt all over the floor? His mother doesn't need to know.

Later they bathe together in Jack's tiny shower, gleefully shoving each other into the freezing cold walls and gross wet shower curtain, Alex humouring him by letting Jack wash his hair for him, demanding that he shampoos it twice and Jack likes this closeness that they're developing. Naked Alex is definitely good as well.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jack's not sure how it happened, him and Alex had been chasing each other around the house in nothing but their underwear, slapping each other with half-damp towels and the next minute he's gone to get Alex right across the ass (Which looks glorious in dark purple, Jack must say) and suddenly the other boy is letting out this pained noise and it's almost in slow motion that Jack watches his pump go skittering across the floor.

“Fuck Alex are you okay?” Jack reaches for him and Alex turns around, holds up a single finger before turning his back to him.

“Motherfucking shitfucker jesus shit balls!” he yells, and Jack feels so entirely guilty.

Alex turns back around and Jack opens his mouth to start a litany of apologies.

Alex just holds up the finger again, other hand pressed against his side and awesome job Barakat, your boyfriend is bleeding, Top job there, really.

“Jack, it's okay. It hurts like a motherfucker, but it'll stop in a minute.”

That doesn't make Jack feel better. He is officially the worst boyfriend ever.

“I'm so sorry Alex, I didn't think that would happen!”

“Just grab my pump and direct me to the tissues”

Jack does, hands it back to Alex. He hopes to god he hasn't broken it or anything, running down the hall to grab some tissues.

Alex catches he his eye as he inspects his pump. “It's fine, i've dropped it about seven million times and it hasn't died on me yet” He jokes, and he smiles at Jack until Jack smiles back. Alex nudges his shoulder.

“Stop worrying, Zack's got you outnumbered about 20 to 1,” He says, wiping away the smudges of blood that've run down his side a little.

“That doesn't really make me feel better, do you want like, a band aid or something?”

Alex nods and they head into the kitchen, Jack reaching for the Transformers band aids they have. (Jack feels that if he actually needs a band aid, it should be fun.) Alex laughs at him, before grabbing two and making an awesome Optimus Prime and Bumblebee band aid cross, throwing the tissues in the bin.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Band aid applied, Alex's face forms a frown. He supposes that it was inevitable that Jack would rip his site out, he's done it enough times himself, on doorhandles, tree branches, clothing, and everyone's had their turn – his parents, Zack (Who really is the worst, it's like it gets caught on his muscles or something) Rian, and now Jack.

The problem is that Alex doesn't exactly carry spare infusion sets nor insulin around with him and he's not spending the rest of the day, or afternoon really, using the spare syringes he has. It's not like he's out of civilisation here, his house is fifteen minutes away.

“I think,” He says carefully, “I might have to head home,” Jacks face gets impossibly more upset, and Alex is quick to slide an arm around his waist, he can't have Jack feeling like he's pushing him away.

“Not because you've hurt me you idiot, I just don't carry insulin with me and I need to reset everything”

Jack's kisses the top of his head. “I really am sorry.” He says, voice muffled by Alex's damp hair.

“If you don't stop saying sorry you really will be sorry.”

Jack doesn't go with Alex, he'd promised his mom he'd be home for dinner and they haven't played Trivial Pursuit all week. He's definitely losing his winning streak.

He does text the other though, apologises again, gets a text from Rian telling him it's okay to stop apologising at any time.

His mother comes home and though she usually comes home tired, she's always cheerful. Tonight, not so much.

“Mom, everything okay at work?”

She smiles tiredly at him, “Work's fine honey, Let's just get dinner going, Alex gone home?”

Jack nods the affirmative and the two of them settle into peeling vegetables, Jack doing carrots and his mother potatoes. Something is up, but Jack can't even begin to guess what it is. He just hopes his mother isn't going to say she's got herself a new boyfriend. Jack does not appreciate surprises.

Dinner is a silent affair, and when they're done his mother just pats his on the shoulder and reminds him it's his turn to wash the dishes.

He's just drying the last of the plates when his mother comes back into the kitchen which isn't unusual since they play their trivia out here, but she's not carrying the box.

His mom pulls out the chair next to her and Jack catches on and sits, still holding the tea towel he'd been using to dry.

“Jack, i've got some news that you might not be too happy to hear.”

Well fuck.


	35. Chapter 35

“Mom, are you okay?” Jack wants to get that out of the way first and foremost.

His mother reaches out to take his hand in hers and smiles softly.

“Honey i'm fine, and i'm not springing any men on you either” She says, and Jack breathes a sigh of relief, she's fine, no surprise boyfriends and Jack knows that he himself is fine. So what?

“What is it then?”

“I got a phone call, a couple of days ago. From your father.”

Jack chokes on the breath he was taking. This wasn't even on his radar of possibilities.

“He said he'd like to visit, and I said yes.”

“You said what?”

Jack keeps his voice as level as he can, tries not to betray exactly how he feels right now. It isn't that his father is a terrible person, he'd always been perfectly cordial to him and his mom, if not a little wild tempered. (Well, as far as Jack knows, his mothers never told him why they got divorced) But he hasn't exactly been in Jack's life. And he's very opinionated. Jack hasn't seen or heard from in about three years and honestly he's perfectly fine with that trend continuing.  
There was also that time where he said he was coming to visit and never turned up. Jack had his suitcase packed and everything.

It's hard to forgive that kind of thing and him and his mom are fine with just each other. His mom has been in enough shitty relationships post his father that he doesn't want her to have to see the man who started it all in the first place.

“I know you probably don't want to see him, but he seemed really earnest to see you.”

“But mom, why? We're perfectly happy, i'm perfectly happy, I don't want him around and you know that”

Jack isn't even going to pretend to be remotely pleased about this.

“Jack, give him another chance, he is your father, I know he can be a bit rough around the edges, but you are his only son.”

She says only son like Jack's just going to completely ignore the fact that the mans remarried and has both a son and a daughter.

He heaves a sigh, he wants to make his mother happy, really he does. He's just not sure his father knows what he's getting into here. Jack isn't the happy-go-lucky fourteen year old he was back then. As far as his father knows, he just likes to skateboard and has a healthy interest in girls.

“Can't you just call him back and say no? I don't fucking want to see him”

“Language, Jack” his mother replies and Jack just glowers at her. He can't believe she's doing this. She knows damn well that he doesn't want to see his father.

“I think it'll be good for you”

“How can seeing someone with who the only thing I have in common is that we're related going to be good for me mom, he wasn't around then and I don't need him around now!” Jack raises his voice just a little, frustrated. Even if this does happen, just what the hell are they supposed to talk about?

“Sweetheart, please” His mother says softly, and Jack immediately feels guilty. He knows his mother just wants him to happy, subscribes to the thought that every boy should have a proper relationship with their father. She's been reading too many parenting books, Jack thinks. He loves her too much to pull the emotional instability card, though he knows she'd call his father back this instant if he hinted at it. Part of him wishes he had the strength to do so.

“When he's coming then?” Jack decides to get it over with as quickly as possible. Have coffee with the guy, try not to offend his delicate sensibilities and send him back to his new family and then his mom will be happy and leave well enough alone for at least another three years.

“He said he'd drop by sometime next week.”

Jack blinks. “You gave him our address?”

“He's your father, not a murderer Jack”

Whatever. Jack is not impressed. At all.

He heads upstairs to his room, blasts Blink in his headphones until his ears ring. He doesn't want to do this. It's been so long, and everything in his life is so, so good at the moment he doesn't want to be brought down. He runs his fingers along the patchwork of scars on his arm, his father doesn't know about them either. Jack doesn't want him to, he doesn't deserve for Jack to share with him.

He doesn't know what his father expects to gain from this visit, thinks that maybe his new wife had pushed him into it with some bullshit story about getting to know him before it's too late – Jack's seen documentaries on TV about people reconnecting, sometimes can't fathom why they'd want to. This is one of those baffling situations.

The past is the past, and he's plenty okay with that. If he needs a father figure, he'd quite happily go to Mr Merrick. He's pretty much the quintessential father figure, an image taken straight from the movies. Him and Zack could totally be brothers. Maybe Jack could finally get some muscles happening.

When Alex calls to say goodnight, Jack doesn't tell him his father is coming. He just has to not have Alex come over for the next week and he'll never have to know. Which is going to be hard, since it's the last week of the holidays and they've pretty much been living in each others pockets. He apologises again, listens to Alex's laugh crackle down the line as he tells him it's really and truly fine, really. Jack's never said anything about his father – there isn't much to say, though he's caught Alex's wandering glances over to his picture, knows the other boy is curious. It just seems like more effort than it's worth.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The only upside is that a few days later, he finally, finally gets his cast off.

It comes off with minimal fuss, the artwork causing a few looks and laughter from some of the younger staff and Jack has never been so happy to see his pale, hairy arm ever.

“Baby!” He yells dramatically, cradling his arm to his chest in a hug. The grey-haired nurse who's assisting is not impressed. Whatever. Jack is free now. His mom even springs for celebratory ice cream.

Of course, Jack couldn't turn Alex down for a sleepover that night, Alex cheerfully licking a stripe up Jack's newly freed arm before he pauses.

“I hope you've showered otherwise i've just licked like, a months worth of dead skin” He says seriously, and Jack just laughs at him.

“You'll never know.”


	36. Chapter 36

Him and Alex shower together again the next morning, make the very important snow-day decision to just change into clean pyjamas, Alex borrowing a pair of Jack's.

There's a rough knock on the front door and Jack goes to answer it. Usually it's just the package delivery guy though Jack hasn't bought anything online for a while it could be a magical surprise present or something.

Or not.

It's his father. Of course, this is how it's gonna play out. The one day Alex is here, good one daddio.

“Jack.” His father says, and Jack can't say how much he's changed, maybe a little more grey hair, but the man looks exactly like the image in the family photo Jack keeps for posterity.

“Dad.” He says evenly.

His father glances behind him, and Jack spins around, sees Alex coming down the hallway, grinning cheerfully. He tries to make a 'don't come over here' motion, but Alex just tilts his head and keeps on coming toward them.

“Look, can you come back later, i'm kind of busy” Jack says quickly, doesn't care that his fathers driven a good few hours to be here, he made Jack wait so Jack can do the same. Alex doesn't need to see this.

His father raises an eyebrow.

“You're too busy with your friend to invite your own father inside?” He says, and out of the corner of his eye Jack can see Alex take a step back.

“This isn't your house, I don't have to invite you anywhere” Jack snaps. Maybe he's being overly aggressive, but he feels he has a right to be.

“Uhm, Jack?” Alex's voice comes timidly from behind him.

“It's okay if you want to you know, I can go, my mom could always use my help at home” He continues. Alex's mom isn't even at home.

“You don't have to go anywhere Alex, it's fine.” Jack says, stares at his father.

Alex just wrings his hands awkwardly and fuck, Jack has completely forgotten about how anxious his boyfriend can get, and he's just standing here arguing with this man, his father, who Alex knows nothing about, as far as knows he could really be a murderer. He doesn't want Alex to be upset.

“Give us five minutes” He says, nudges Alex back inside in the house, pushes the front door mostly closed. He doesn't care if his fathers offended or not, he's a grown man, he can deal.

“Sorry, I just, I don't want to get in the middle of anything” Alex whispers, eyes wide and Jack pulls him into his arms.

“I should've told you he was coming, but he never set a date and I didn't think he'd just turn up, so i'm sorry you had to see that. You don't have to go if you don't want, I can tell him to fuck off” Jack says, and some sick part of him is hoping that Alex will stay, even though he knows how Alex is, will definitely want to him and his father some space to 'reconnect', just like his Jack's mom.

“No no, you two should talk” Alex says, “Let me grab my stuff and i'll catch the bus from the corner”

“If you're sure, i'll walk you?” Jack doesn't want to put any stress on Alex by making him stay, and it's not like he's walking home in the snow, the buses are pretty regular. Jack wouldn't, couldn't have his boyfriend wandering the streets.

“M'sure.”

Alex nudges his head up and pulls him into a chaste kiss.

“He won't hurt you, will he?” He murmurs, “I won't go if that's a possibility”

“Nah, he's not like that I promise Lex, i'm safe, we just haven't seen each other in while”

He kisses Alex back, rests their foreheads together, rubs Alex's back in an attempt to soothe the other a little, and impart some last minute warmth.

Alex heads upstairs then to grab his stuff, and Jack re-opens the door.

“I'm walking Alex to the bus stop, you can wait here.” He says.

His father merely nods.

Alex appears a few tense and silent minutes later, and Jack's ruined the warmth of the house by having the door open but he doesn't care.

He steps out of the way, closes the door behind him and Alex, leaves his father standing on the porch. He's got a coat and hat on, he'll be fine.

“You're sure you'll be okay?” Alex questions as they head down the street, shoulders brushing, but not too close, Jack's not stupid.

“I'll call you tonight” Jack promises, gives Alex another kiss in the shelther of the bus stop before sighing in resignation.

“I'd better go and be hospitable.”

Alex waves at him until the wind and snow makes him just a blurry shadow and Jack pulls his hoodie tighter around himand heads back to the house.

He is just so excited right now.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They decide to go for coffee across town (Well, his father had suggested and Jack has agreed, not really willing to let the other man into their house). It's awkward to say the very least. They're both snappy and standoffish and they know it's not working but they both have their own agendas so they try. They just have nothing in common. His father tells him about his wife Fiona, and their children Stephen and Clarise, and in turn Jack gives him Rian, Zack and Alex. He doesn't mention any specifics, just friends from school, definitely doesn't mention just how close him and Alex really are.

His father makes a comment about how he hopes Jack has some footballer friends, shouldn't just hang around with pretty boys and Jack just smiles politely. So politely. He wonders if there's a polite way to punch your own father in a public place.

They talk about school, his father has the guts to tell Jack that he should be aiming for straight A's when Jack mentions that he's only just passing geography. Like the guy has any right or influence on Jack's education.

They discuss plans for college (Jack doesn't actually have any plans yet, but he knows better than to say that) and eventually curiosity gets the better of Jack, and he asks his father just why, why now he'd decided to come visit.

It was his wife’s idea. Of course. Because in all likeliness, his father wants to see Jack about as much as Jack wants to see him. Jack's nearly an adult, and they've grown up without each other, never feeling a need to reconnect. They're both here on someone elses insistence.

Turns out his father will be staying for a few days, combining business with well, Jack's positive it's not pleasure, but he will be around.

They make plans to meet up again in a day or two (In theory his father will call before he comes around, but Jack somehow doubts that), and Jack is satisfied. One more outing and then they're done, his father can go back to his fairytale and Jack to his.


	37. Chapter 37

Jack sees Alex again two days later, meeting him at the cinema for their very first movie date. He can't believe it's taken them this long to get to the movie date point in their relationship. Still, better late than never.

Being winter of course it's completely packed and because they might be just a little late (Not Jack's fault, he swears) and the only movie they can get into is Monsters Inc. 3D.

Alex looks fucking adorable in the glasses though, and Jack will admit it's cool movie even if the ending is sad.

The downside to a packed theatre is that the back fills first, so there's nowhere they can secretly make out (Which really, is the main reason Jack likes movie dates) – not that they'd make out in a theatre full of kids but whatever. The point is it's not even an option.

Still, he gets to employ ye olde 'yawn and stretch' on Alex, who just snickers and leans into him, reaching to alternate between shoving popcorn in Jack's mouth and his own.

Afterwards, Alex drags him across the mall to the arcade, completely kicking Jack's ass in Dance Dance Revolution, mainly because Jack is half attempting to watch Alex's ass as he jumps around, totally engrossed in the game. It's worth loosing for.

He does get his own back in the claw game though, winning Alex a teddy bear with a little Ravens jersey on it – it's probably the best date ever. Totally worthy of getting-laidness. If Alex wants, of course.

They end up back at Jack's house, snuggled in the living in this stupidly fluffy pink blanket his mom bought on a whim, fire crackling in front of them. They leave the TV off, just talking about pointless stuff like how small Rian's dick is and how they don't want to go back to school.

Alex doesn't ask about how meeting his father went, and Jack doesn't feel particularly inclined to share. When his father's gone again, maybe then.

Being the typical teenage boys that they are, talking turns to what Jack would call half-hearted making out, long lazy sweeps of tongue, arms wrapped around each other, neither one of them really wanting to hurry things up. They snuggle closer, Jack swinging his legs over Alex's lap, the other boys hands rubbing gently against his knees.

For once, Jack might actually be content with just lazy kissing under a blanket by a fire, even if it is so horribly cliché that it's practically a Jennifer Aniston film.

Eventually Alex pulls away, lips glossy and red and gives Jack this delightful grin that can only mean trouble. Hopefully sexy trouble.

“Alex, what?”

“We should build a snowman in your yard.” Alex says, and okay, definitely not sexy trouble. Jack's brain might need a second to catch up here – kissing to snowmen is pretty big leap.

“A snowman? C'mon it's fucking freezing out there” He whines.

Alex flutters his eyelashes. “Please Jack? I promise there'll be a reward at the end” He whispers the last part and as long as it doesn't involve freaky snowman sex, Jack is suddenly on board with the idea.

“Only if you let me give you another coat to wear, and I get to put the nose on” He says.

“Done.”

They head outside (Jack buttoning Alex into another coat because he can't have a frozen boyfriend, and some gloves) and at least the snow isn't falling at the moment, the sky a murky grey.

“You roll the body and i'll roll the middle” Alex says, immediately getting to work.

In all honesty, it's a terrible snowman. They don't really have enough snow, and their 'circles' are more like misshapen blobs and they're using a cucumber for a nose because they don't have any carrots.

Jack reaches down to try and patch a dint in their snowmans side with some additional snow when Splat!, a snowball smacks him in the back of the head.

Behind him, Alex whistles innocently.

“You fucker” Jack grins, starts rolling a snowball of his own. If Alex wants to play games he'd better be prepared to have his ass kicked.

Splat! Right on his ass this time. Clearly Alex has created a small nest egg of snowballs.

He whirls around to throw a retaliatory snowball but Alex just fucking laughs and runs to hide behind their snowman, and it's on.

For all his long limbed awkwardness, Alex can run pretty fast and Jack can't quite land a snowball on him.

He manages to trip the other, Alex falling flat on his face and immediately rolling over to try and protect himself. Jack's not afraid to play dirty.

“No! Jack, don't you fucking dare!” He squeals, but Jack isn't having it – wedges a handful of snow straight down Alex's shirt.

“You bastard!” Alex yells, tries to get up but Jack presses firm hands against his shoulders. He won, he wants his prize.

He presses his lips to Alex's, narrowly avoids smacking their heads together before Alex gets the picture and stops fighting, just lies there in the snow looking like some slightly off kilter angel and if Jack's knees are freezing he can't imagine how Alex feels but at the same time he's not quite ready to relinquish his hold on Alex just yet.

Jack hears a car coming down the road, doesn't pay it any mind, doesn't really care if the neighbours see him kissing in his boyfriend in the snow, they can deal.

Except the car seems to be slowing down, and Jack pauses, lifts his head just to make sure it isn't old Mrs Patterson from two houses down, both her house and Jack's house are yellow plasterboard, and sometimes she gets confused.

It isn't. It's his father's sedan.


	38. Chapter 38

“Alex, get inside” Jack says, quickly pulling the other to his feet, pushing him toward the house. There's no doubt in his mind that his fathers seen everything and will most definitely have something to say about it. He doesn't want Alex to hear.

“But Jack -”

“Alex inside, please?” Alex steadfastly refuses.

Jack hears the car door open and slam shut again and his father appears in the driveway.

“So this is what you've turned into then” He says quietly, almost too quiet.

“A fucking faggot.” Beside him, Alex flinches. Jack wishes he had gone inside.

“Don't call us that.” Jack says, just as quiet. He won't have his own father insulting him in front of his own home.

“I'll call you whatever I want, I thought I raised you better than this”

“You didn't raise me at all.”

“Don't you fucking talk back to me, you fucking fairy – I told you , I fucking told you about them, what they'd make you” He gestures to Alex.

Jack remains silent, lets his father rant on about sin and religion and his mother's parenting skills (Or lack thereof) and just stands there, frozen. Maybe his father will talk himself out and then leave. He's hearing the third reiteration of just how much of a disappointment he is and how he's a dark mark on the family name and Jack's so zoned out that he's not expecting it when Alex steps forward, stands nose to nose with his father.

“If you don't have anything nice to say about my boyfriend (And Alex draws the word out, almost like a dirty word which no doubt his father will think it is) and your son, you can just fuck off, alright?” He snarls, and Jack had no idea Alex was capable of such animosity.

His father's attention turns then, and Jack realises all too late what's going to happen, should've realised that of course his father would try to pin this all on Alex, he'd been the one to 'corrupt' Jack.

He see's his father raise his arm and he tries to warn Alex, tries to snatch him out of the way but he's not quick enough, his father catching Alex straight across the face with a well-aimed fist and then another and Alex staggers backward and Jack snaps.

“How fucking dare you touch him!” He snarls, lunging himself towards his father, shoving the older man as hard as he can. He doesn't have the words. How fucking dare he touch Alex, hurt him.

“How fucking dare you, you bastard” He says again, voice more of a growl.

His father steps back, an almost-smile playing at his features.

“You should be more careful of the company you keep” He says, like that fucking justifies him punching a teenage boy in the face. Like he's enjoying provoking a reaction from Jack and he probably is.

Jack grabs him by the collar of his jacket, bony fingers pushed aginst the other mans neck, pressing against his pulse. He wants nothing more to punch his father just like he'd punched Alex. But he won't. He's better than that. His mother raised him right. His father just needs to leave. Right fucking now.

He doesn't notice that Alex disappears from beside them, eyes only on his father.

“If you ever,” he says quietly, “ever come here again and lay a hand on Alex, or anyone, I will fucking kill you. Understand?”

Jack's not sure if those words are even a lie.

His father is silent again and Jack shakes him a little, bewildered by the fact that his father isn't fighting back. Surely this is what he wanted, what he's started? A fight?

“I said do you understand?!” Jack says again, and his father merely smiles at him once more.

“Shame you only have a backbone when it comes to be fucked in the ass Jacko, or you do really think you're a proper man?”

Sick fucking bastard. Jack doesn't know what to do, he just wants his father to be gone and go and find Alex. He wants to scream and kick and cry all at the same time. He doesn't know how to deal with this. Fuck not solving violence with violence.

He drives a knee up, catches his father where it hurts and enjoys the cry the older man makes, knees buckling underneath him into the snow, and kicks him again for good measure. He doesn't care that it's probably a low act as far as fighting does, he just wants it to hurt. He never thought this would happen, that his father would actually raise a hand to anyone.

“Don't come back here again, you're nothing to me.” Jack says, before crossing the porch and slamming the front door behind him. Final parting words to man he'd actually given a chance to, no matter how begrudingly.

He needs to find Alex.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Being punched in the face by a fully grown man hurts about as much as Alex had expected. A whole fucking lot. He's not entirely sure his nose isn't broken, warm blood running down onto his shirt as he backs up, makes for the front door of Jack's house.

He doesn't know what to do, wipes his nose with his arm and paces. Jack's still out there, Alex should do something, call someone. Protect Jack. But he can't.

Alex does the only thing he can. He runs.

Leaves everything behind as he heads out the Barakat's back door, climbs awkwardly over the back fence, dripping a trail of blood behind him. He runs as fast as he can and he's not sure where he's going, doesn't spend a lot of time in Jack's neighbourhood, but he's going.

Part of him wants to turn back, make sure Jack's alright, but when he turns around, nothing seems familiar. He doesn't know the way back. He keeps on running.

The streets are empty, and the wind and snow bite at his skin, but he can't stop.


	39. Chapter 39

“Alex?” Jack heads down the hall, checks downstairs for Alex and not finding him, heads upstairs.

“Alex, where are you? It's okay, he won't be coming back” He tries to get rid of the tremor in his voice, adrenaline rushing through his veins, he can't help Alex if he himself is freaking out.

Except Alex isn't upstairs either. Jack makes sure to check all the closets and small places Alex could fit into but he's nowhere to be found. Jack reaches for his phone, hears the answering ring of Alex's from where it's plugged into the wall charging. Fuck fuck fuck. Alex is gone and Jack can't contact him. Rian is going to kill him if something (Well, something else) happens to Alex.

Jack takes the stairs down two at a time, heads for the laundry, Alex would've had to have gone out the back door, right? Surely Jack would've seen him leave from the front.

There's a trail of blood seeping into the snow across the yard, to a part of the back fence that's missing it's snow capped top.

Jack can do this, Alex wouldn't have gone too far.

The blood stops about three houses down and Jack hurriedly checks their yards, calling for Alex but there's no sign of him. He circles his block and the next, panicking, not sure if he needs to call Alex's parents or Rian or Zack or his own mom, he can't fucking find Alex and the snow has started again, the wind picking up and Alex shouldn't be outside in this wearther, no one should.

He makes the decision to head back to his house. Maybe Alex was hiding somewhere and he's back. The hollow feeling in his chest tells Jack that's not true, but he needs to hold onto something.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When he returns his father is gone. Good. Jack can't deal with that right now. He calls for Alex again but there's no answer – and does another cusory sweep of the house.

Alex is genuinely missing. Okay.

Jack tries not to panic. He doesn't need to call anyone just yet, it's only been twenty minutes or so he just needs a plan.

He jogs into the living room, grabs Alex's messenger bag from beside the couch. Jack knows that if Alex is running he'd had to be to have gotten further than the two blocks he's checked and it's cold so he's more likely to go low. He doesn't know what Alex has got on him to eat.

He shoves the tube of Alex's favourite cherry glucose tabs into his pocket, puts Alex's meter case, a bunch of tissues and the fuzzy blanket from the couch into his school bag, double checks he has his phone. He wants to be prepared for everything and with all the television he's watched, lost people always get blankets when they're found.

Jack tries to think logically, if he was scared and hurt where would he go? He can't imagine Alex going to anyone's house to ask for help but maybe he'd be looking for somewhere to hide.

Jack pulls up google maps, figures that the obvious answer is to look for empty lots or playgrounds or parks. He knows there's a couple nearby, they drive past them on the way to the city.

Jack might just be a little hysterical. Alex means everything to him and he can't believe this has happened. You're supposed to protect the ones you love and he hasn't.

Each time he finds one, Jack's heart pounds as he runs to the play equipment or any buildings, calling for Alex. He's nowhere to be seen and Jack is getting anxious to find him. It's been nearly an hour.

Eventually after three more blocks he decides to change directions completely, heading east towards the freeway, maybe Alex would head in a direction he knows?

Another two blocks and Jack sees an abandoned park just down the road, obviously not in use but the rusted play equipment could be enough for Alex to hide in.

Jack starts running, knows that calling Alex will be fruitless until he gets closer, voice lost on the wind. His feet hit where the fake asphalt would be if it weren't snowing.

“Alex? Alex are you here?”

He searches a few tunnels before he hears a tiny voice above him.

“Jack?” Alex's head pokes out from the top of the covered jungle gym. Jack scrambles up the rusted ladder, finds Alex curled up into a corner, shivering. All Jack's energy leaves him and he kneels beside his boyfriend pulling the other boy into a bone crushing hug. There's dried blood all over his clothes and his lips are practically blue.

“Jesus, Alex” Is all he manages to get out, arms rubbing along Alex's shoulders, trying to share some warmth.

“I'm sorry Jack, i'm sorry” Alex squeaks, clings back just as tight.

“Alex no, this wasn't your fault my fathers a complete and utter asshole and I didn't protect you when I should have, i'm sorry.”

They stay clung together for a few minutes before Jack manages to calm himself down enough to grab the blanket from his bag, settle it around Alex's shoulders like a makeshift cape.

“I didn't mean to run away but when I turned around to come back I was lost.” Alex says quietly, “I didn't mean to leave you alone.”

Jack just squeezes him tighter.

Eventually, Jack realises that as lovely as it is having found Alex, they should probably head back home where it's actually warm.

He tries to help Alex shuffle down the ladder, the other shivering so hard he can barely stand up but he makes it to the bottom in one piece.

They start making their way back to Jack's house, Alex pressed tightly against his side and they must look like quite the picture, a boy with blood all over him wearing a pink blanket cape. Still, as long as no one thinks Jack's trying to kidnap Alex it's all good.

They're one block down, three more to go when suddenly Alex stops walking.

“Jack, where are we going?”

Jack pauses. “My house, if that's okay? I mean we can call your parents if you want but I just figured it'd be quicker to walk back to mine”

Alex just kind of stares at him. “Your house. We're walking.” He says, and Jack's kind of freaked out before he suddenly hears Rian's voice in his head, explaining that sometimes a low Alex is a confused Alex and whilst Jack had bought Alex's meter with him, he'd completely forgotten. Fuck.

“Alex, did you maybe want to test?”

Alex nods. “Okay. I should do that. I think maybe I forgot but I really should.”

Jack agrees, fishes Alex's meter out of his bag, loads the test strip because he's pretty sure Alex's hands are shaking too much and they don't have forever.

Alex watches silently.

“Alex, you need to lose a mitten” Jack prompts and it takes Alex a minute, wiggling his fingers in front of him before he manages to get one off.

Thankfully, Alex takes the meter from him – Jack would've done it if he had to but he's relived he doesn't.

Jack watches as Alex frowns, guesses that he was spot on with his assumption though Alex doesn't show him the number, just stashes his meter in his coat pocket.

“I'm low.” Alex announces, before he frowns again.

“Jack, Jack. I don't have anything.”

Jack knew being organised would pay off.

“Here,” He says, holding out the tube of glucose tabs to Alex.

There's nowhere to sit down, so Jack prompts Alex to keep walking while he crunches away, if they stop Jack's genuinely afraid they're going to be buried in snow even if it's entirely impossible.

He just wants to get Alex inside so he can try to make this better, or at least make sure Alex's nose isn't broken underneath all that blood because if it is then Rian is most definitely going to kill him.


	40. Chapter 40

Back at his house Jack sets about fixing Alex up as best he can – dragging the other boy to the bathroom, poking experimentally at his nose and turning the sink water pink as he wrings out the washcloth.

“Ow! Jesus Jack, be careful!” Alex yelps, trying to slide off the counter Jack's got him sitting on.

“Sorry, but the blood is like, frozen to your face”

“If you're not more careful it's going to be frozen on yours” Alex says and there's beat of silence before they both start snickering.

The good news is that both Jack and Alex are pretty sure Alex's nose isn't broken, after continued poking and a quick Google search.

Still, it's not like no ones going to notice and Jack is honestly, completely terrified of having to explain to the Gaskarth's just what's happened to their son. What he let happen. It's like a pyramid of uncertain doom, Isobel and Peter, Rian and then his own mom. Who should be home soon, oh joy.

He gets Alex settled on the couch again, fixes them both a snack.

He can't sit down, paces anxiously back and forth, he doesn't want to explain to his mom what's happened either. How he couldn't protect his boyfriend from his father.

“Jack sit down, it's okay, it's not a big deal”

“Not a big deal?!” Jack waves his hands around in way that he hopes conveys just how big of deal this is.

“I couldn't protect you and everyone I know is going to hate me!”

“I'm not going to hate you, you idiot. And neither is anyone else.” Alex says, reaching a hand to squeeze Jack's elbow.

“Just come and snuggle with me, you can worry later at least.”

Jack does, squishes Alex between the back of the couch and himself, rests his head on Alex's shoulder while Alex combs gentle fingers through his hair. Of course Alex is the one who got hurt and yet he's the one comforting Jack.

Eventually the clock on the wall ticks over to just past four and Jack can hear his mother's car in the drive.

He pulls away from Alex who sighs but lets him go. Waits for his mother to come through the door.

“Hey boys did you-” Jack can see the exact moment his mothers eyes land on Alex.

“What the hell happened? Jack, tell me you two weren't fighting, are you alright Alex?”

Then his mother is dropping her bag and striding across the room to the couch, standing over Alex who looks hesitantly at Jack. Jack tries to smile reassuringly.

“No fighting Mrs B, it's nothing really.”

Oh hell no. Jack is not going to let Alex not have this be a big deal.

“Dad punched him.” He blurts, no use hovering around the subject.

His mothers head jerks up.

“What?”

“You heard me. Me and Alex were in the front yard and we kissed and he was coming down the road and when Alex told him to stop being a dick he punched him.”

His mother's eyes flick back and forth between them before settling on Alex.

“Alex honey, is that what happened?”

Alex nods.

His mother doesn't react so much as that she goes quiet, merely inquires as to Alex's wellbeing again before heading upstairs and Jack knows that his fathers about to get an earful of overprotective-angry Joyce Barakat. He turns the volume up on the TV, Alex doesn't need to hear and neither does he for that matter. It's over anyway. But a small part of him is cheering gleefully at the fact that his fathers going to get a talking to. His mom can be a real bitch when wants to.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As it turns out, telling his mom was easy. In fact, compared to telling Alex's parents, telling his mother was a walk in the park. With flowers. And butterflies.

His mother had offered to drive Alex home, help explain what happened and they'd taken her up on the offer.

Jack was expecting a reaction yeah, but not the one he got. He'd expected Isobel to be upset, but not so blindingly angry that she'd yelled about how it was his fault. Peter had just looked disappointed.

Jack fucking knows it's his fault. He knows.

Alex asks him to stay the night but Jack refuses. He knows he's the last person he Gaskarths want around right now. They're probably going to need some time to forgive and forget. Or just to stop looking at him like he kicks puppies for a living.

As he follows his mother out the front door, he doesn't see Alex watching him from his bedroom window. He just wants today to be over.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alex tries really hard to convince his parents that this wasn't Jack's fault, the other boy coudln't have anticipated his own father punching his boyfriend in the face. They're not buying it.

His mother keeps saying 'I knew this would happen' like she's only ever pretended to like Jack for the sake of appearances and his father isn't much better.

So he holes up in his room and calls Rian. It's probably better that he tells him rather than Jack. Suprisingly, Rian's not as angry as Alex thought he might be. Annoyed yes, but mostly he's just worried about him.

“Are you really okay or are you just saying that so I don't come over?”

“Rian, i'm fine, I have a bruise that hurts like a bitch but apart from that i'm fine. Nothing's broken.”

“That's not what i'm talking about.”

Rian's too smart for his own good sometimes.

“I don't know how i'm supposed to feel.” He says quietly, hears Rian sigh on the other end of of the line.

“It's okay to be upset, or even angry, it doesn't make it Jack's fault, it just makes you human. I'd be worried if you weren't at least a bit pissed at his dad” Rian says eventually and Alex nods, not caring that he's on the phone and Rian can't see it.

“I don't want Jack to leave just cause he's worried about my parents, they were pretty angry, especially my mom.”

“Alex, I don't think he's going anywhere. Just maybe give your mom a couple of Jack-free days.” Rian says and Alex hums in agreement, that's probably a good idea.

“Just make sure that she knows that even if Jack isn't with you, that he still cares, if she thinks he's avoiding you that'll just make it worse.”

“Rian, I love you.”

“Of course you do, i'm brilliant.”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That night Jack's curled up in his bed and it seems strange that he's alone for once, that him and Alex haven't said goodnight to each other. They have a routine. Or had, clearly Jack's ruined it.

Except, just as he's about to fall asleep, his phone vibrates under his pillow and Jack is torn between checking it or not, it could be from Alex or it could be from Rian.

He shrugs, either way, better it get it over with now. He fumbles for his phone.

Stop worrying and go to sleep. Dream awesome. :) - Alex.

Jack might just feel a tiny bit better.


	41. Chapter 41

To his credit, Jack actually writes Alex's parents a note. He doesn't think he could talk to them or call them, but a note? That he can do. He tries to explain what happened and how sorry he is. He desperately wants them to understand that if he could've stopped it, he would have.

His mom smiles softly at him, squeezes his shoulder as they swing past Alex's house to post it – he and Alex haven't seen each other for a few days by mutual decision (Hopefully if Isobel and Peter don't see him, they'll forget how angry they are) but they call each other every morning and before bed because neither of them want to the other to feel left out.

It's a Sunday, the last day of the holidays and Jack sort of never wants to go back to school. School means work and broken heaters and not being able to snuggle Alex any time he wants.

He's hanging out with Zack, who is strangely Rian free 'We're not actually glued together Jack' and though it's too snowy outside to skateboard, they're endeavouring to become masters at Tony Hawk 2003. It's outdated but there's Blink on the soundtrack and Zack seems to be enjoying the whole fall off your skateboard and bleed effects. He's just deliberately fucking up tricks so his character slams into the ground. It's just a little weird.

It's nice and casual and fun and Zack's parents like him.

Jack catches the bus to school the next day, no way in hell is he walking in the cold he'd be a freaking icicle before he'd even left the block. He's kind of nervous, presumably the Gaskarth's would've gotten his letter but Alex hasn't mentioned anything in their phone calls.

He trudges behind a couple of other kids as they step off the bus and up the schools gateway, kicking at errant lumps of snow and turning it to a mushy brown well, mush before he spots a familiar backpack connected to a familiar person waiting at the top of the steps.

“Alex!”

Jack jogs by his classmates, ignores the strange looks they're giving him and takes the steps two at a time, three days without Alex seems like a lifetime. Alex seems older, taller. Smaller.

When he reaches the top, Alex is grinning at him.

“Who are you again?”

“Asshole.” Jack says affectionately, pulling him into a loose side-shoulder hug. He kind of wants to squish him properly, but they have an audience.

“Not that it's not awesome to see you, but why are you here so early?”

Alex isn't one to be early to anything, and especially not school on a snowy Monday.

Alex shrugs. “I have to give the nurse some stuff, and...”

He pauses.

“And?” Jack prompts, Alex is trying to hide his face but Jack sees him blushing even in the cold, he sees.

“And maybe I wanted to see you.”

“You're adorable” Jack coos, patting Alex's beanie covered head.

“I hate you.”

“Hate me so much you're here early to have extra hating time, huh?”

Alex just sticks his tongue out. Psh.

Jack trails after Alex down the newly-polished hallway, scuffs black marks with his sneakers just because he can, waits patiently outside the door as Alex discusses the term ahead with the nurse, hands over whatever his mom had deemed necessary and knowing Isobel necessary would probably include the kitchen sink.

He could go in, knows Alex wouldn't mind, would probably appreciate it, but he's not sure he's ready to encounter both Alex and people who actually know what they're talking about. He doesn't want to come off as stupid.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They meet up with Zack and Rian at home room, Rian pulling Alex into the sort of bone-crushing hug Jack would really like to give him, the two of them falling into easy banter, Alex casually leaning against Rian's shoulder as they make their way to their seats. He's pretty sure that in some parallel universe where neither him nor Zack exist, Alex and Rian are married. With alien babies.

The only redeeming thing about the whole day is that since it's the first day back they're not really doing work in any of their classes, just rehashing rules and student expectations and plans for the term. So Jack is free to rest his head on his arms and try to sleep with his eyes open. He hasn't mastered it yet, but one day. One day.

Jack tries to stop thinking about the note and it's consequences, but he can't. It's stuck in his head and he keeps giving Alex these sheepish glances that he knows are confusing the other but he can't stop.

At lunch, Alex cracks.

“Jack, what's up? And don't say nothing.”

Jack shrugs. “I maybe, kind of wrote your parents a sorry note and you haven't said anything”

“You wrote them a note, when?”

“Dropped in the your mailbox yesterday, I would've come in but i'm hoping they might forget they're angry if they don't see me”

Alex looks at him for a long moment before he snickers.

“Jack, yesterday was Sunday. No one checks their mailbox on Sunday.”

Jack is an idiot.

Alex rests his hand on Jack's knee under the table.

“You're too good for me really, I can't believe you wrote them an apology, my moms mind is going to be blown.”

“I just want them to know that I really am sorry.”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That evening Jack's in the kitchen obediently stirring a pot of almost-caramel so it doesn't stick while his mother rolls out pastry for the impromptu dessert she's decided to make. Jam roly polys with caramel and icing sugar dusted on top.

There's a knock on the front door and Jack can see his mothers confused expression.

“Where we expecting someone? Did you invite Alex over and forget to tell me?”

“Well I don't remember inviting him so I don't think so – do you want me to get it?”

Jack has always wanted to tell a door-to-door salesman just where they can stick it. Today could be that day.

“I'll get it, you just keeping watching that pot”

Oh right. Jack tries to subtly scrape the slightly stuck bits off the bottom of the pot. It'll melt back in, right?

He can't hear much from the kitchen, but there are voices.

And then the door closes and the voices come closer. And become familiar. It's Alex. And his mom. At Jack's house. Probably here to complain about his shitty note.

Except that his mother and Isobel are laughing as they enter the kitchen, Alex trailing behind and immediately sticking himself to Jack's side.

“Jack.” Isobel says, expression shifting into seriousness and here it comes.

“I shouldn’t have yelled at you like I did, it wasn't my place, and I can see that it's wasn't your fault. I'm sorry.”

Jack's might be staring at her, mouth agape. Alex's mom just...apologised? To him?

“I-It's okay, really. I know you just want to protect Alex.” He says and he knows, he really does. He wants to protect Alex with his entire being.

Isobel smiles at him. “I know you do as well, so i'm happy we're on the same page. I know you wouldn't have let that happen if you could've stopped it. You have lovely handwriting, by the way”

His mom ends up convincing Alex's mom to stay for coffee and dessert when it's done and Jack is relieved of his caramel-stirring duties.

“Dude, I seriously thought your mom had come to kill me” Jack says as they head into the living room

Alex laughs. “She comes into my room and goes 'get up we’re going to Jack's house' with no explanation whatsoever, she just shoves the note at me. You're such a softy, it was a lovely letter”

“I just wanted her to know that i'm not secretly trying to kill you at every turn.”

They snuggle on the couch of a while, Jack resting his head on Alex's lap and listening to their mothers cackling away and trying to find something on TV that isn't news. It's a loosing battle seeing as how it's primary news time.

“Boys, dessert if you want it!” Jack's mom calls from the kitchen.

Alex nudges Jack up off him. “We actually get to eat whatever you guys were making, that thing that smelt awesome?”

“If you're good.”

Alex pulls at a blond strand of Jack's hair. “I'm always good.”

They race each other to the kitchen, Jack cracking his hip on the door frame as Alex squeezes past him, just reigns in the swear words that want to escape. Neither his mom nor Alex's would appreciate that, he's sure.

“Joyce, those look awesome. What are they?”

Jack can see how proud his mom is that Alex is excited. She likes to make people happy with food.

“Caramel and jam roly polys, with some coconut”

Ooh. Coconut is a new addition. Jack is definitely down for that.

Jack reaches for the topmost one, hands it to Alex and is about to reach for his own when Isobel interrupts them.

“Alexander, have you tested? Do you even know how much you need to bolus for that?”

Everything seems to come to a grinding halt. Alex looks startled, like a deer caught in the headlights.

“I was uhm, just going to estimate?” He mumbles quietly. “It's fine mom, really.”

Isobel frowns. “It's not going to be fine if you wake me up in the middle of the night high because you thought you'd just guess”

“Mom please just let me do it” Alex says, quieter than before.

His own mother turns away from the tea she'd been pouring.

“Is everything alright?”

“Joyce, would it be alright if Alexander had a glance at the recipe you were showing me before, I want him to make sure he boluses correctly, don't want him complaining to me later.”

Personally, Jack can't imagine Alex complaining to his mother about much at all, let alone being high.

His own mother looks confused and Jack feels so sorry for Alex in this moment, knowing that the last person he'd managed to keep his illness a secret from is about to find out and not from Alex himself.

“Well sure” She says hesitantly. “What was that last part, Alex needs to what?” She turns to Alex.

“You're not sick are you honey? I'm not sure you want sweet stuff if you're sick”

Isobels gaze turns back to Alex, who's staring at floor.

“Alexander's diabetic, didn't he tell you? He told me you knew.”

His mother looks surprised. “No ones said anything to me.” Her gaze turns to Jack.

“Jack, why didn't you say anything? I just though Alex was too skinny for his own good, but this?”

She gestures towards the treat in Alex's hand. “Should he even be eating that?”

Isobel is making exactly the same face at Alex and Jack feels guilty even though there's no way he could've predicted this.

“You've been keeping it a secret? Alexander, you told me you'd discussed this and that Joyce was happy to have you stay over with that knowledge. How could you lie to me like that?

“Mom, I can explain-” Alex starts, but his mother stands up, chair scraping as she does.

“There is no explanation as to why you thought it would be okay to lie to me about this, I trusted you to take responsibility for yourself and that clearly hasn't happened.”

She turns back to Joyce. “I'm sorry we've just dropped this on you, Alexander knows better than that. We'll have to be going. Alex, car. Now.”

Jack's never heard Isobel call Alex just plain old Alex. He looks over at the other boy, still staring at ground. He's worried.

“Alex.” Isobel says again, tone warning.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alex just lets out this tiny little hitching breath, chest jumping with the movement. He can't move. This wasn't how Joyce was supposed to find out, his mom wasn't supposed to be angry and now on top of her finding out he's sick she's now going to know he's fucked in the head as well. The perfect companion for her son. He wants to run but he can't, just stands there frozen, fingers clenching in his jeans, let's Joyce's carefully crafted dessert fall onto the lino. He can feel the familiar heavy weight on his chest, the lump in his throat and he knows there's nothing he can do to stop it.

He really is a fuck up.


	42. Chapter 42

Complete and utter chaos.

Alex's mom is furious, Alex is upset and Jack's mom just looks confused and she's managed to utter the one phrase that Rian had drummed into from day one never to ask and Jack knows she doesn't understand that's why she said but it frustrates him nonetheless. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. It's chaos and Jack needs at least try to fix this, can't have Alex and Isobel go home and have his mom not understand.

He half expects Alex to fight his mother about leaving, at least a little, but he doesn't. He doesn't appear to have heard at all, just stands awkwardly in their kitchen and Jack stares at him for moment before he understands. Complete and utter chaos indeed. Okay, he can do this.

“Alex?” He steps hesitantly forward, reaches out to rest a hand on Alex's shoulder, hopes the other boy won't push him away but he just never knows and sometimes that's the worst part. Alex stiffens, wide eyes coming up to meet his own but he doesn't move out of Jack's grip.

“Alexander, come on” Isobel says again and Jack jerks his head up to stare at her. Maybe, maybe he can understand that she's not happy that Alex had lied to her, but can't see what's happening?

“You can't take him.” He says, voice level. He presses closer to Alex, feels the other tremble against him.

“And why would that be?”

Jack thinks it's pretty damn obvious why. He tries not to be angry, knows that won't help anyone, tries to adopt a soothing tone of voice.

“Look, Isobel, I can take him upstairs, try and calm and him down and then you can take him, but please, you have to be seeing what I see”

He watches Isobel take a step back, how she focuses on Alex properly for a moment, stops thinking about how angry she is, sees the moment that realisation properly sets in and her resolve seems to crumble as she reaches for her son.

She rushes forward and Alex skitters backwards against the kitchen counter.

“Alexander honey no, i'm so sorry”

It's a complete juxtaposition to how she was a moment ago but then Jack supposes sometimes people only see what they want to see and he doesn't doubt for a moment that Isobel loves Alex more than anything and that she's just as scared as he is.

There's standoffish silence for a moment, Jack's hand still on Alex's shoulder and Isobel hovering just out of reach before to her credit, his mother steps forward.

“Isobel, maybe I could finish making you that cup of tea?”

Isobel agrees, gives Jack a nod that he takes as permission to shuffle Alex out of the room, not making it upstairs but into the living room, nudges the other to sit to the couch.

Jack tries every trick he knows to try and help Alex get on top of this before it starts to properly show, knows that Alex doesn't want their parents to see. He can tell how hard the other boys trying, the way he wraps his arms around Jack so tightly and refuses to budge an inch, breath heavy against Jack's shoulder.

“M'sorry” He breathes after a few moments and Jack just rubs hands up and down his back, murmurs words that probably don't make sense but seem to lessen Alex's grip anyway.

Jack keeps Alex wrapped in his arms, tugs the other boy across his lap and tries to listen to conversation in the kitchen but all he can hear is the against chink of mug against table and muffled conversation. He's dying to know just what they're talking about – presumably Alex but still, what if Isobel doesn't trust them any more, wants to keep him and Alex apart? Jack can't have that, he can't. And what about his own mom? What if she doesn't want to keep Alex around, thinks he's too much work? Deep down, Jack knows that’s not true. His mother is the kindest most caring person he knows, she just needs a little more information, surely?

Him and Alex don't move from their place on the couch until Jack hears the sound of mugs and spoons clattering into the sink and he jumps, raises his head from where it rests against Alex's shoulder.

“Don't let me go” Alex whispers and Jack takes a deep breath, big enough for the both of them.

“I'm not going anywhere, no matter what happens.” He says and Jack's hopeful that whatever direction the conversation had taken that they can resolve everything now, because it's happened so fast and beyond hoping he's not sure what to do.

His mother comes into the living room then, Isobel following behind her and they both look a little worse for wear, solemn and silent.

“Jack, can I speak to Alexander alone for a minute?”

Jack catches Alex's eye and the other boy nods, slowly detaches himself from Jack's grip. Jack lets him go, ever hopeful. He looks Isobel straight in the eye, a warning almost. Please don't make him more upset, he knows he's fucked up, he knows.

As Alex and Isobel head back intro the kitchen, Jack's mom comes to sit beside him.

“Mom, i'm sorry we didn't tell you and that you had to find out like this but please, please don-”

“Jack.” She says firmly, interrupting him. “Me and Isobel don't want to keep you two apart, okay, we really don’t but you have to realise that you and Alex shouldn't have kept this from me – what if something had happened? I'd be responsible, and I couldn't have that on my conscience, not knowing what to do.”

Jack stares at his socks, picks idly at a thread on the corner of a couch cushion. He doesn't know whether this is good or bad.

“What's gonna happen?” He asks quietly, half afraid of the answer.

His mother sighs, takes Jack's hands in her own.

“Isobel explained a little, enough for me to understand the basics, but I need you to sit down with me and explain, she said that you knew what you were doing, and i'm proud of you for that Jack, but if you want Alex to stay over again I can't stay in the dark like this. I know you want to protect Alex but this wasn't the best way.”

Jack nods, “ I just didn't want you to treat Alex any different.”

“I know honey, I know. And I promise i'll try, but obviously some things have to change.” She squeezes his hands and Jack can't help but smile at her. As per usual, he's worried about all the wrong things.

Alex comes back into the room then, shoulders curled forward and hands tucked into his pockets and Jack gets the impression that their chat wasn't as forgiving as his own. He gets that Isobel only wants the best for Alex, but she has to let him go at some point. It's not like him or Rian or Zack would ever let anything bad happen.

He stands up to walk the other boy to the door, lags behind their parents who make plans to meet up and discuss Alex further, like he's some kind of current event but Jack can't bring himself to be angry because this is probably the best outcome they could've had, besides that fact that Alex and his mom clearly need to talk less about his diabetes and more about his actual feelings. It's the one thing that Jack knows he can't help Alex with, can only be a bystander.

“You okay?” He whispers in Alex ear and Alex shakes his head.

“I just wanna go home and have this day be over. Call you in the morning?” He says, eyes hopeful, like Jack might decide not to call him.

“Not too early.” Jack says, presses a gentle kiss to the other boys cheek. It's not perfect by a long shot but for right now it'll do. He just has to convince Alex of that. And Rian.


	43. Chapter 43

Alex calls the next morning, just as Jack is coming out of the shower, towel wrapped loosely around his waist.

“Alex, hey” He says, trying to get dressed with one hand – it's too fucking cold to stand around naked talking on the phone.

“Jack!” Alex says cheerfully. “Enjoying the weather?”

“I hate you.”

Alex laughs and they end up chatting about stupid stuff like Spanish homework and sort of avoiding talking about last night but that's okay, Jack's sure they'll get to it eventually.

“Well, unless you want me to be late I have to actually like, put some clothes on before my balls drop off – see you soon?”

“Actually, i'm kind of not going to be at school today?” Alex says, and Jack's immediately worried.

“Is everything okay, did your mom say something, are you sick, do you need me to come over and make you soup?”

He hears Alex snort on the other end of the line.

“M'fine, mom and I had a bit of a fight when we came home last night, but I guess it was kind of a good thing, she's taking the day off work so we can talk like normal people instead of yelling.”

“Oh. That's awesome Lex, really good, tell your mom I said hi!”

Jack's really, really fucking happy that Isobel wants to talk to her son about his feelings, it's a miracle. He was really looking forward to cuddling with Alex at lunch though.

“Don't sound so sad, i'll see you tomorrow, bring you a present even”

Alex knows the way straight to Jack's heart, he fucking loves presents.

“A sexy present?”

Alex laughs, “At school? Not likely”

“After school?”

“We'll see.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jack isn't sulking. He's functioning completely normally. He doesn't miss Alex's constant present by his side at all.

“For gods sake Jack, Alex hasn't moved to mars, it's one day” Zack says after Jack sighs dramatically for the seven millionth time.

Rian pats the space he's just made between him and Zack.

“Stop being a bitch and get in here” He says.

Jack raises an eyebrow. “But you guys always sit next to each other at lunch, it's tradition!”

“I'm happy to break tradition if it'll make you stop looking like someone killed a puppy in front of you” Rian says and okay, that's kind of a horrific mental image.

“I'm not! I just miss Alex a little bit. Maybe a lot. But it's fucking cold and I need him to warm me!” Jack protests, and Zack and Rian give him this double expression of complete exasperation that hanging out with Alex must've given them many an opportunity to perfect.

“Fine.” He huffs, sliding of his side of the table and clambering between them, they asked for it.

“So Rian, you gonna hold my hand?”

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Jack comes home that afternoon, the house smells of cookies. Mmm cookies. With chocolate. And hopefully sprinkles.

He enters the kitchen, “Mom?” He spies the cookies cooling on tray on the stove. Excellent.

He pouts. “No sprinkles?”

“We're all out” His mother says, coming in behind him still wearing her apron dusted with flour.

“You want hot chocolate? I bought more marshmallows.”

Like she even needs to ask. Jack sits himself down, eyes the cookies hopefully.

His mom just smiles at him, “Not yet, they're cooling.”

She makes hot chocolate for both of them, sits at a chair adjacent to Jack's.

“So I guess you know that we need to talk.”

“About Alex.”

“Yes, about Alex. And about you as well.”

Jack sighs. In all honestly Alex had been pretty bad at explaining and he was the diabetic one so Jack has no idea how he's supposed to convey to his mother both the medical seriousness and the reality of the little Alex-related changes they might need to make. He just knows that somehow he needs his mother to understand that Alex is still exactly the same person and that she needs to treat him like that. And not ask him if he should be eating things. That's very important.

He racks his brain trying to come up exactly what he needs to say. Wait. Whilst he'd promptly left the book of doom and gloom at Alex's house, he does have the neat stack of printed papers Alex had given him that very first day. He's flicked through them, thinks they're probably mom-appropriate and if it gets him out of talking he's happy.

“Can I go upstairs and get some notes, it's kind of complicated to explain”

“Course you can honey, there's no rush”

Jack does his very best to answer all of his moms questions, explain how Alex's insulin pump works and tell her his robot joke which kind of falls flat but he's trying here, okay.

He does have to make a quick call to Rian to confirm some things (He's not going to interrupt Alex's mom-time) but overall his mom just sits and nods and looks interested and not overly freaked out. Which is good.

“So, you're not freaked out or anything?” He asks, after she neatly rearranges the notes they have and places them back on the table.

“Well, it's lot to take in.” She says eventually, “I don't know how I didn't notice, you guys did a good job of keeping it a secret.”

Jack tries his best to look guilty, and really, he does feel bad about keeping it from his mother.

“I really am sorry about that.”

“It's fine, I can understand where he's coming from, not wanting everyone worried about him like that, he's so young. But don't you ever hide something like this from me again Jack, understand?”

Jack just nods obediently. Sometimes silence is the best option.

“I really am proud of you honey, for being there for Alex, Isobel was very insistent that I know how wonderful you are to him.” His mom continues and Jack can feel the blush on his cheeks even with the residual warmth of the oven.

His mom pats him on the shoulder then, goes to stand up.

“So I guess we should try those cookies then huh, they should be cool by now.”

Jack just smiles, he's so fucking happy that everything's worked out pretty well and hell, his mom is even proud of him. It's not too often she says those words to him, Jack's not exactly the best kid ever. And there's cookies. What's not to be happy about?


	44. Chapter 44

Alex-related changes turn out to be pretty simple. His mom agrees to write down what's in whatever she makes and in turn Alex smiles fondly at her and asks that she never stops making cookies and then his mom smiles back and it's just so fucking sweet and lovely and Jack just wants to steal Alex away and feed him cookies all the time.

Alex and his mom spend ages discussing sugar alternatives and Jack's really happy that Alex won't have to worry about dinner at their house so much anymore. Not that Jack is saying that Alex can't eat whatever he wants, but he's seen how much effort he boyfriend puts in to wrangling his blood sugars when he's at home and now they can extend that same courtesy here.

They have an emergency glucose kit stashed one of the kitchen cabinets and a tube of glucose tabs in Jack's beside drawers along with some juice boxes featuring cartoon fruit (Seriously, what makes companies think that kids are going to prefer their apple juice with a face?) but apart from that nothing's really changed. He does catch his mom making the occasional sad-face behind Alex's back, but even Rian can be found doing that same thing on occasion.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A week later, (A very long, very cold week) and Jack's finally spending some quality time with Alex that doesn't involve school.

His moms gone out to a speed-dating seminar ('No actual dates Jack, just hearing about how they work') and really, Jack's okay with that. It's not like he wants his mom to be lonely forever, she needs a nice man, preferably one with lots of money so they can go on holidays to warm places in summer and avoid winter forever.

Isobel had given him a grin and wave as she'd dropped Alex off so he's assuming that he's forgiven, at least a little and he's not one to look gift horses in the mouth.

He's currently snuggled in bed with Alex, both of them half-heartedly playing Need for Speed, half drunk cups of cocoa and a batch of his mom’s new 'Alex proof' cookies. Alex has given them his tick of approval and even Jack has to admit that if he hadn't watched her make them he probably wouldn't notice the difference all that much. And they both can eat as many as they want. It's a win-win situation.

Alex shifts against him, rubs his feet against Jack's ankles.

“Not that this isn't fun an all, but i'm pretty sure I owe you a present.” Alex says conversationally, still focusing on the screen.

Jack casts a curious glance towards his boyfriend.

“You might've mentioned something about a present one time.” Jack says slowly and hell yeah like he totally hasn't been waiting for Alex to remember and trying not to bring it up.

But then, an idea pops into Jack's mind.

“If you're that way inclined, I think i'd much prefer to give you a present” He says and Alex's eyes flick over to meet his, the other boy licking his lips.

“Is that so Mister Barakat?” And god fucking dammit Alex should not be able to drop his voice like that, down to a soft purr eyes glinting and he knows exactly what he's doing the fucker.

Jack leans over the edge of his bed to fumble for the bottle of lube he keeps under it, Alex leaning over his shoulder before making a soft noise of recognition when he sees the bottle in Jack's hands.

He rests it next to his pillow for later, rolls back over and pushes the covers off the two of them just enough so that he can fit his body on top of Alex's, rub noses with the other boy before pressing their lips together in a gentle kiss.

Of course with both of them anticipating a shared surprise, gentle kissing quickly turns into Alex's tongue in his mouth, hands on Jack's shoulders and grinding against him, a pile of clothes slung off the side of the bed, both of them just in their underwear.

“So, what sort of present am I getting exactly?” Alex pants in between kisses, hips pressing up against Jack's subconsciously, breath heavy against Jack's lips

Jack licks a stripe up Alex's neck, slides a hand down to press against Alex's cock and Alex makes a soft appreciative noise.

“You'll see.”

Jack slides down then, licking and sucking his way down Alex's chest and Alex reacts gorgeously like always, little breathy noises and fingers threading through Jack's hair.

“Come back up here and let me kiss you” He whines, tugging a little.

Jack smirks, Alex can be so wonderfully oblivious sometimes.

He pulls Alex's briefs down his legs, let's his cock spring free.

“So you don't want to me to-' He licks a fat strips up Alex's cock with no warning, watches the look of surprise on Alex's face and the way his breath hitches, his hips twitch upward. “Kiss something else?”

Alex puts a finger to his chin in feigned ponderance.

“I guess either one is fine.” He says nonchantly, and Jack wants to wipe that cheeky expression right off his face.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alex's afternoon just got awesome. Jack wasn't kidding when he said he wanted to go down on him those couple of times, he actually wants to.

God, Jack's tongue. Alex shivers, he knows Jack is good with his mouth, can't imagine how good this'll be.

He's not sure he's going to last an awfully long time though, but he figures he can always coax Jack into a round two.

“Jesus, Jack” He groans, as Jack takes the head of his cock into his mouth, doing some filthy thing with his tongue against his slit and fuck Jack is brilliant, just brilliant.

Alex fists his hands in the sheets, tries not to thrust up into Jack's mouth as the other boy slowly bobs up and down on his cock, stares straight up at him while he does it and Alex needs an award or something for not having come yet.

Alex must close his eyes because he doesn't notice Jack's hands reaching for his own until he's guiding them down to his head, fluttering his eyelashes in what Alex assumes is permission.

“Are you sure, I don't want h-hurt y-you” He says, stumbles over the final words as Jack uses just a hint of teeth and okay, Alex gets the picture. Hands, head. Now.

He threads his fingers through Jack's hair, messes up the blonde and brown and tugs, just a little.

Jack makes this little noise in the back of his throat and Alex follows suit, hips flexing against Jack's hands. Oh, he sees.

He tugs a little harder, presses hesitantly against Jack's head – whether Jack's into it or not, Alex doesn't want to push him but Jack just groans and sucks harder and then there's this slightly weird sensation and Alex can feel (And see, he can fucking see) Jack's nose pressed against his stomach, lips taut around his cock and apparently Jack Barakat can deepthroat like some kind of magical sex wizard.

Jack pulls off after a few gloriously wonderful moments, breath rough and lips slick with spit and Alex takes his chance to pull the other up for a deep kiss, tastes himself on the other tongue

“Where the fuck did you learn that” He murmurs, because Jack needs the biggest reward ever because really, it's pretty fucking ace.

“If I told you i'd have to kill you” Jack says, before sitting up so Alex's damp cock is pressed against his boxer-clad ass.

“Here, let me-” Alex reaches for the waistband, but Jack shifts away, shakes his head.

“M'not done with you yet” He says, and Alex follows the line of his hands to where he's holding the bottle of lube and yeah, he's down with that. He rocks his hips up into Jack's ass once more before the other boy is sliding down his body again.

If he thought having his hands in Jack's hair while the other boy goes down on him was potentially the most awesome sexual experience he's ever had, he's quickly proven wrong because Jack's suddenly pressing slicked fingers against his entrance, humming around Alex's cock and the additional sensation sends Alex over the edge with little preamble, fingers tightening in Jack's hair and a deep groan of his name as his hips fight the arm Jack's got slung across them.

Jack pulls off him then, licks his lips and Alex just stares at him, panting before his brain catches up with him.

“C'mere” He says, sitting up and trying to pull the other closer, he can see how hard Jack is, cock pressed against silken material and it's light enough that he can see the dark patch of precome through them.

Jack obliges, presses himself flat against Alex, sucks at his shoulder

“Just, just let me” He groans, grinding against Alex's side and Alex lets his legs slide open a little so Jack can straddle his thigh, slides his hands down to knead at Jack's ass and pull him forward in time with his thrusts.

It doesn't Jack long to come, teeth sinking into Alex's shoulder and it kind of hurts and feels fucking awesome at the same time, and Jack just kind of sprawls half-across him, contented.


	45. Chapter 45

It's a Tuesday night and Jack is dutifully attempting to complete his Spanish homework and by attempting he's using the wonderful homework resources known as Wikipedia and Google Translate. He might also be drawing stick figure him and Alex in the margins but that's nobodies business but his.

He's halfway through when his phone buzzes and he nearly falls off his chair as he lunges for it because it's the most exciting thing that's happened in the last hour.

Babe, what are you doing tonight? :) - Alex.

Fucking Spanish homework :( He texts back, and then a few seconds later his phone is ringing.

“Alex?”

“Get dressed we're going out” Alex chirps cheerfully over the line.

“We're what?”

“Put some proper clothes on and a jacket on my mom’s going late night shopping and I wanna take you somewhere”

“But-” It's a Tuesday, he wants to say, i'm doing my homework and it's a like a lightbulb actually flashes on top of his head. Alex wants him to go out on a date and he's worried about it being a weeknight? What the the actual fuck he's turning into an old man.

“But nothing, don't make me call your house and ask your mom for you, you know she loves me”

“Dude chill, of course I want to come out with you”

Jack reaches for his scarf and beanie, heads downstairs to ask his mom. Fuck Spanish homework, he's got a hot date.

“Mom, can I go out with Alex tonight? His mom’s going shopping and she'll drop us back when she's done?”

His mother looks up from her book, “Have you finished your homework?”

“Uhm, nearly?”

“Just make sure it's done before it's due.” She says and Jack salutes her before heading for the mess of coats they keep on a spare chair in the living room since they don't have coat rack like some people. Maybe he'll buy one for Christmas. If he remembers.

As soon as he spots headlights coming down the street he's skittering down the hallway and out the front door, pausing only to say goodbye to his mother.

He flails his way through the snow to hop into the backseat with Alex who's clearly channelling some kind of Eskimo with the amount of clothes he's wearing.

“Hey,” He greets, reaching to press a kiss to Alex's cheek.

“Hi.” Alex's mittened hand reaches for his and squeezes.

As they head down the block, Jack attempts to interrogate Alex as to the location of their twilight date.

“So, where are you taking me Romeo?”

Alex blushes. “It's a secret.”

“Aw come one, you can tell me and i'll promise to act surprised.”

Isobel laughs from the drivers seat, “You'll never get it out of him, he's stubborn when he wants to be”

After trying to wheedle Alex for a few more minutes to no avail Jack fake-huffs, crosses him arms and stares out the window. He'll show Alex.

“Jack?”

A finger reaches across the seat to poke him and Jack desperately tries not to burst out laughing.

“Jaaack, come on” Alex whines, “Don't be a bitch”

“Alexander, please.”

“Sorry. Don't be a meanie, Jack”

Jack can't help the stupid snicker snort he makes.

“Ha!” Alex claps his mittened hands together in victory.

Eventually Jack kind of does figure out where they're going because they keep turning at the signs that say lookout but he's never been up there and he doesn't want to ruin Alex's surprise for him.

His ears pop on the way up and he's kind of freaked out about sliding off the road but the snows been cleared and the road salted and the sky is clear so he guesses they'll be okay.

As they reach the summit, Isobel pulling into the carpark, the little view Jack can see from behind the trees already looks amazing.

“I didn't know there was a lookout up here” He says, and Alex just grins at him.

They get out of the car, Isobel rustling around in the glovebox before handing Alex a bag of gummi bears with a meaningful look. Jack hopes that Alex is willing to share because he hasn't had a gummi bear in ages and they're so delightfully gummi and he likes decapitating them.

“I'll probably be an hour but if you get too cold before then call me and don't get together with any strangers.”

“Technically wouldn't we be the strangers since we have candy and all?” Jack jokes and Isobel laughs, which is good because it means she might be slowly getting past wanting to strangle him.

“Just stay safe, alright?:”

“Yes ma'am” and Jack now sees just where Alex got the talent for eye rolling from.

They wait until Isobel is out of sight before Alex grabs his hand, tugs him across the parking area to the lookout area itself, the city glittering before them.

In all truth, it's fucking gorgeous. The city lights seem to almost reflect off the snow-covered streets and Jack's sure the stars are twinkling.

Jack pulls away from Alex's grip, instead wraps his arm tight around the others shoulders. It might be beautiful but it's still freezing out.

“So, what's the occasion?” He says, turns away from the view to stare at the other boy, what little he can see of his face between beanie and scarf.

Alex shrugs and Jack nudges him, “You don't get to pretend it's nothing Alex, c'mon”

“I guess, you always take me places and I wanted to take you somewhere for once. Somewhere nice.”

Jack immediately squishes the other boy into a hug.

“I love it.” He says and in the back of his mind maybe he's thinking I love you.

View admired (They are teenage boys after all, they can't wax poetical about a nice view for more than about five minutes) they somehow end up attempting to waltz to Green Day played from Alex's phone except that neither of them can waltz so it's pretty much the two of them pressed together, Alex's hands in Jack's jean pockets. Jack approves.


	46. Chapter 46

Coming home from their trip to the mountain and changing into his pyjamas Jack's mind is racing. He's never thought about loving Alex before. Well, he's thought about loving Alex only in the same kind of way he loves ice cream, cuddling or playing guitar.

But 'proper' love is something he's only ever felt with girls, seeing as how most of his guy experience is based on one might stands. He doesn't know if it's the same, that warm feeling of contentment that settles into his gut at the mere sight of the other boy, the way his smile is contagious.

He doesn't want to push Alex into something he's not ready for. Hell, Jack's not sure how long it's going to take him to process this information, let alone be ready to share it. It's only been a month or two or nearly three, there's no need to rush into things.

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The next morning, Jack's interrupted from his ritual sorting through his whole locker for that homework sheet that he was supposed to do last night but didn't by Rian appearing next to him.

Jack pauses in his frantic rustling.

“You're here early, got a hot date or what?” He jokes because it's unusual see with Rian without his other half.

Rian snorts, “Just wanted to give you a heads up that it's Alex's birthday in a couple weeks and also maybe me and Zack have a date with coffee shop down the corner if he hurries up”

Jack pauses. Alex's birthday. Hasn't been yet. Fuck. That means he has to get Alex a present. He tries to actual causal.

“Oh yeah, what date?”

“The fourteenth, which is ages away I know but you'll need that long to convince him that it's okay for you to get him a present”

Of course Alex would be one of those people who tries to insist that he doesn't need presents. Like those girls who say not to worry about Valentines day, Jack has made that mistake once and he has no intentions of doing it again. He figures he'll just start wearing Alex down as soon as possible.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The first chance he has is a free study period in lieu of English due to some teachers conference. Jack begins.

“Alex, what do you want for your birthday?”

Alex looks up from his note taking, “How did you-Rian told you.” He answers himself.

“Said I needed a head start because apparently you're an indecisive motherfucker”

“Tell him he's dead to me” Alex says.

“I can hear you, your moron” Rian pipes up from the row behind them where him and Zack are sharing a copy of their latest novel.

Jack laughs, hearing Rian be mean to Alex and vice versa is like watching kittens fight.

Alex punches him and Jack yelps.

“Hey! I'm the one who wants to get you something nice and if I have to wear you down day by day until you want to kill me i'm totally okay with that” Jack says.

“Besides, what sort of boyfriend would I be if I didn't get you something?”

Alex stares down at his paper and mumbles something Jack doesn't quite catch. He glances up at Rian, to see if he's willing to translate but he's gone back to Zack, not paying attention.

“You wanna say that again in English?” He asks.

“You don't have to get me anything, really. I don't wanna put you out or anything, you can just come and hang out and have cake with us.” He says and Jack tries to hold back the heavy sigh that wants to escape him.

Sometimes it's hard to remember that he and Alex are still a work in progress. Alex still has his hangups and only time will prove to him that Jack isn't going to turn on him. Hopefully the perfect present will help him along some more.

“I'm going to get you the best damn present ever.” Jack says, and Alex's hesitant grin says it all. He wants this to work just as much as Jack does.

Jack lets Alex mull it over until they're sitting down at their table for lunch, Alex reaching for his meter in a routine that's become a staple of Jack's existence.

“So, what do you want for your birthday?”

“More fingers” Alex says automatically, not looking up.

Zack snorts and reaches across the table to give Jack a pat on the shoulder.

“Good luck with him” He says, and Jack actually sighs this time. It's going to be a long few weeks.


	47. Chapter 47

A week later and Jack's not really getting anywhere with the whole getting Alex a birthday present thing.

Alex isn't being helpful at all. So far he wants a spaceship, a date with Oprah and a pony.

He honestly has no idea what to get the other boy. Jewellery is out, not because it's typically a girl thing, just that Alex doesn't do jewellery at all. He doesn't even wear an ID bracelet or anything and that's probably the most essential piece of jewellery anyone can have. So no.

He wants to get Alex something special. Actually, several special things because he thinks that just one thing isn't going to convey to Alex just how much Jack is head over heels for him. One thing that Alex will admit to wanting (Jack will wear him out and get an answer) and one thing that he thinks Alex might like.

Obviously, he knows the greatest present Alex could ever get would be a cure. But since he lacks a degree or ten, Jack is aware that the premise is ridiculous.

But maybe it isn't. He's not going to be able to magic up a cure, but maybe he can give Alex a day of freedom. A day where he can do whatever the fuck he wants and not have to worry about the consequences. He just has to figure out how, because as intriguing as the idea sounds he knows that he can't go up to Alex and be like 'hey, fuck your blood sugar and insulin because it's your birthday!' Even he knows that's completely impractical. But he will find a way.

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It's creeping into the early hours of the morning, a gloriously wonderful albeit still fucking snowing Sunday morning and Alex is both awake and freezing. He traces idle patterns on Jack's chest under the blankets, snuggles closer to the other boy in an attempt to mooch more warmth off him. They're under a mountain of blankets, why the hell is he so damn cold?

Also, why is he awake? He fumbles for his phone under his pillow, blinks away the blurry brightness that greets him – 4.07am. They'd only gone to bed at eleven, by all rights he should definitely be asleep. But no. Just cold.

Jack is sleeping like a baby but as annoyed as Alex is he doesn't have the heart to wake him up. He snuggles even closer though, tangles his feet with Jack's and pulls the covers up a little tighter under his chin, nose brushing against Jack's shoulder.

He knows Jack is frustrated with him and this whole birthday present saga they have going. He's not sure where it stems from, all his previous birthdays have been awesome, no long lasting trauma (Well, there was that one time when he was 12 Billy Watkins pushed him out of a jumping castle and everyone laughed) but apart from that they've been drama free.

He just doesn't like knowing that people feel obliged to get him things. Especially Rian and Zack and now Jack because they've already done so, so fucking much for him and he can't ever repay them. Logically, he knows that they do it because they want to because that's what friends and boyfriends and family do but it's always been weird for him.

He wishes he could just name something and tell Jack and have that be that. He doesn't even know what he wants. He was that kid who couldn't ever think of something to ask the mall santas for, couldn't make a decision.

He shifts restlessly, rolls over away from Jack. Sure, maybe he'd like some new guitar strings or that hard cover copy of Philosophers Stone he's been looking for or a new pair of sneakers. He just doesn't think that Jack should be responsible for those things.

But they are infinitely more attainable than a date with Oprah. He rolls back over and Jack shifts towards him, makes the tiniest of whines before his eyes crack open to meet Alex's.

“Pretty sure it's not time to get up” He mumbles, nudging his head forward to kiss Alex's nose.

“I know what I want for my birthday” Alex blurts, because this is clearly the best time.

Jack's lips twitch into a soft, sleepy smile. Bingo.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It turns out what Alex wants is to go to a concert. Jack can do that. Hell, he can more than do that. He can take Alex to a show and they can have a damn good time and hopefully some post-show fun. And possible making out in the crowd. Jack hates watching other people do it but it's really fucking awesome when you're the person doing it.

Alex has also helpfully left the details in Jack's hands in regards to who they're going to see. 'Surprise me' he'd said. Jack's half tempted to drag him to the Squaredancing National Championships, conveniently held the day before his birthday. That'll teach him to leave Jack in charge of surprises.

But no, he couldn't do that to anyone.

It's another few days and Jack is scrolling through his emails when he sees it. New Found Glory at Rams Head. Two days before Alex's birthday.

Jack pauses. The venue is pretty big, according to his Google searches. He doesn't know if Alex's anxiety extends to situations with large crowds or not. He figures that if it was, surely Alex would've said something or not suggested a concert situation but still, he worries. He's not the biggest guy and he's not sure if he could pull Alex out of the crowd if something happened.

As always, Rian comes through for him in the information-about-Alex-if-you-don't-want-to-actually-ask-Alex department. Alex is just fine in crowds, so long as you stay close. Jack can work with that. Maybe he can tag Alex with glowsticks to make him easier to keep track of, maybe a glowstick collar?

“I can't believe you're taking Alex out to New Found” Zack says excitedly, as they make their way to drama the next day “he's gonna love you forever”

“Sssh!” Jack hisses, immediately turns to check the area to make sure Alex isn't nearby – he's gone with Rian to the library but they could be back any minute.

Zack laughs. “I already checked, I know how precious your little secret is but man you are going to have a crazy time.”

Jack nods, “Yeah it's gonna be awesome, not Blink-awesome but still awesome, you know?”

“Just don't do what I did last time and lose him, I thought Rian was gonna kill me and we hadn't even started dating then”

Jack snickers, the image of Rian being mad at Zack for anything is ridiculous at this point.

“Try not to get killed or anything,” Zack continues, “Alex is a regular little mosh monkey but if he loses you all bets are off.”

Hah. Monkey.

“Seriously, Alex? I picked him for the guy in the middle, stage left or something, but he likes to be up front?”

Zack grins at him. “You have no idea what you're in for, Alex is a crazy motherfucker when he wants to be.”

Hopefully 'crazy Alex' is as into making out as Jack is.


	48. Chapter 48

With less than a week till Alex's birthday, Jack is pretty organised. He's borrowed some money off his mom (With a promise of household chores and bringing Alex around more often) to buy the tickets and he's reasonably sure he knows where the venue is. And he might be listening to New Found non-stop just to make sure he knows the words to every single song in case they play them.

It's the other present he wants to give Alex that's the problem. He does have a card though – one with Tigger on it and he's found a few CDs that Alex doesn't have on sale. And he has wrapping paper. And sticky tape.

He thinks that maybe his other 'gift' can wait until the day after Alex's birthday. It'll be a Sunday, so no school which definitely works in his favour.

He ropes Rian into helping him wrap the CDs because whilst Jack tries, he's never been able to get the whole neatly folded triangle corners thing and he wants it to look nice, not like a three year old wrapped it. As always, Rian is obligingly helpful after witnessing Jack's attempt. 'For the good of the world' He'd said. He needs to get Rian something really brilliant for Christmas to pay him back for all his help.

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Because their mothers are conspiring against them, both Jack and Alex have to go to school on concert day. No skipping to get in line early. Still, Jack figures he's lucky enough that they're allowed to go unsupervised. And really, spending hours outside in the cold with potential rain or sleet or snow? Not that appealing.

By the time schools out both of them are bouncing off the walls. It's refreshing to see Alex so excited, chattering a mile a minute and demanding that Zack carries him to the bus stop.

They part ways then, Jack pulling the other boy into hug which Alex returns in a bone crushing fashion, unable to stay still for too long.

They've made plans for Jack's mom to pick Alex up and for Isobel to bring them both back to Alex's after the show. It's got all the makings of a perfect night. Hopefully with their very own encore.

At home Jack sets about making himself look somewhat presentable, straightens his hair and steals some of his mom’s hairspray from the bathroom to make it stay because sweaty, tangled fringes in your face are a real buzzkill. He elects for dark blue skinny jeans with zipper pockets at the front so he can't lose his phone and in case he needs to carry something for Alex and he tries to smooth the creases out of his NFG Kool-Aid shirt. It probably should've been ironed but whatever. He just has to remember to grab the tickets from the kitchen table on his way out.

Arriving at Alex's house, Jack takes the steps up to the porch two at a time, nearly falling flat on his ass because hey, they're kind of icy. He makes a mental note to not let Alex bounce his way down them unassisted.

Isobel lets him in, the house ridiculously warm as always.

“Alexander is still upstairs, I haven't been up since I heard him shouting at the hair dryer” She says wryly, “Good luck with him.”

Jack snorts and heads up the stairs to Alex's room.

“Alex, hurry up!” He calls, nudging the bedroom door open and hello there shirtless hottie.

Alex is standing in front of the mirror, hair dryer war seemingly forgotten in exchange for the comb he's holding as he teases the back of his hair, white towel wrapped loosely around his waist, pump resting on the dresser in front of him.

He turns around and grins at Jack, “Jacky!”

“Why aren't you dressed yet, we're gonna be late if you don't get that ass into some pants”

Alex pouts at him.

“But I thought you liked my ass?”

“I'll like your ass even more when it's sitting in the car on the way to the venue” Jack retorts, “Now, mush!”

Alex makes several very creative hand gestures before he acquiesces, dropping the towel and walking straight past Jack to his drawers, dragging teasing fingertips along Jack's hip as he passes. Alex Gaskarth is a dick, but Jack can wait for his revenge.

Back downstairs Jack follows Alex into the kitchen where both his mother and Isobel are chatting, climbs onto a kitchen stool while his boyfriend dashes around trying to get himself organised but it's apparent that he's not achieving anything when Isobel manages to catch his arm and direct him towards one of the benches, a neat pile of stuff sitting there.

Jack snickers and Alex reaches over to swat at him. “Don't laugh at me, i'm totally organised” He says.

“Of course you are.” Jack says agreeably, Alex probably organised everything and put it there and forgot. So he's halfway to organised. Better than Jack would be at least.

“I've got some pocket space if you need it” Jack says, because at this point he can't see how Alex is going to be able to carry everything even with his meter and pump packed neatly into a more protective case than he usually has and test strips wedged into a back pocket.

Alex slides a fun size packet of jelly beans towards him with a grin, “You're the best” he says, and Jack grins back at him, stowing them pocket alongside his phone.

Alex fiddles around with his belt and his pump for a few minutes longer, bends down to tie his shoelaces into double knots (And Jack tries to look like he's not appreciating his boyfriends ass in front of his mother, he really does) before he pats his pockets one final time, reaches to tug Jack off of his stool, eyes bright.

“Are we going or what?” He asks, like he wasn't the one that they've been waiting for.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Alex, wait up!” Jack yells into the crowd, tries to keep up with Alex who's got a death grip on his wrist as he drags him through the maze of people.

Alex doesn't respond, just turns around and smiles broadly at him, eyes barely visible in the darkness of the theatre before tugging him along again.

They come to an abrupt stop about six rows back from the stage, slightly to the right and Alex lets go of Jack's wrist. (Which he's probably bruised already, and they've only been here for five minutes, christ.)

“I like this spot.” He announces, and that's that.


	49. Chapter 49

Zack was right about Alex being absolutely wild. For the openers which neither of them are really familiar with, Jack manages to keep a finger hooked in the back of Alex's jeans as they move with the crowd, a thin sheen of sweat covering them. Alex can jump ridiculously high and more than once Jack has to provide a barrier between his over exuberant boyfriend and the group of giggly, tiny (Okay average height but they're like twelve so they're tiny, okay) girls to their left because he's going to fall clean on top of them.

Alex stands by his side as they clear the stage for New Found, breath heavy against Jack's neck.

“This is fucking awesome!” Alex yells into his ear even though the crowd isn't that loud, everyone waiting in anticipation. And yes, yes it fucking is awesome. Except for one thing.

Jack nuzzles Alex's damp shoulder with his nose. “Wanna make out while we wait?”

“Fuck yeah” Alex says, swinging his arms around Jack's neck and pressing their mouths together, tongue insistently pressing against his lips and okay, Jack wasn't expecting this positive of a response. Alex appears to be down for some genuine making out.

There's a few whistles from next to them (And a few nasty names from elsewhere in the crowd, but Jack thinks it's just because they don't have a really fucking hot make out partner)

They pull apart only as the lights dim, Alex's lips glossy and red as he grins at Jack, fingers tangling together.

And then everything gets beyond crazy. He can't hold onto Alex's belt loops anymore because he's worried he'll up with a broken finger Alex is being that physical, throwing himself back into Jack and then disappearing into the impromptu circle pit that they've suddenly found themselves on the edge of. Jack does his best to follow, slamming into strangers and trying to keep Alex in view but it's nearly impossible. He bails on the next go round, retreating out of the circle to approximately where they were originally standing. He hopes Alex will return to him like a homing pigeon or something. He knew he should've gone with his glow stick collar idea.

A few songs later and Alex finally makes his way to back Jack's side absolutely dripping with sweat, chest heaving and gives Jack a double thumbs up before wrapping arms around his waist and picking Jack up to twirl him around with a maniacal grin before leaping back into the swirling crowd.

He does get Alex back permanently as the guys take a break before they hopefully come back for an encore and Jack's voice is scratchy and fucked so he's reduced to Alex's thumbs up method to convey how fucking awesome this is and Alex laughs in his ear and oh hey, Jack is totally up for more kissing. Definitely.

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The only problem with having a really, really awesome sweaty time at a show in the middle of winter is that it's motherfucking freezing when you come out of the venue. Jack thought it would be refreshing. It isn't.

They stop down the street a little, in an alcove away from the stream of people making their way home so Alex can test, and Jack can see the red marks covering his body that are most likely going to turn into bruises.

“You're fucking insane, you know that right?” He says, probably louder than he has to but his ears are ringing and so are Alex's most likely.

Alex looks up at him, all hints of insanity completely gone, “You shouldn't listen to everything Zack says” He say diplomatically, before his meter beeps and he returns his attention to it.

“All good?” Jack questions, though he is thinking that Alex is probably bordering on low because he has never seen Alex so athletically enthusiastic before and it's been a couple of hours since the snack that Alex had presumably had before they'd left.

Alex hums as he wedges everything back into it's respective locations, “Jelly bean me Jackary” he says and Jack obliges (Also, hell yeah he totally called it, he might not be completely useless after all), nabs a licorice once from the packet for himself because licorice is all kinds of awesome even though his mouth is really dry and it ends up being a sticky, licoricey mass between his teeth as they make their way to where Alex's mom had agreed to meet them.

It's a relief to get into the car where Isobel has thoughtfully put the heater on for them and Alex is chattering away about how the show was and how awesome this back flip some kid did and Jack could just about fall asleep except that he really, really wants to continue their awesome night.

Back at Alex's house, Isobel sets them up with peanut butter and jatz crackers, reminds Alex to keep an eye on things to which Alex dutifully agrees before she heads upstairs. Good. Hopefully she'll fall asleep quickly.

Jack isn't particularly hungry, just wedges a stupid amount of peanut butter onto a single cracker to lick off in between mouthfuls of orange soda as he watches Alex methodically line up his crackers and smear uniform amounts of peanut butter on them, tongue pressed to the corner of his mouth in concentration.

Alex must sense Jack's gaze because he looks up halfway into his 4th cracker, smirk on his face.

“So tell me, do we have after show plans or what?”

Jack chokes on his soda. He's still not used to Alex being all cute one minute and then bringing out his sex voice.

Alex snickers softly. “That a yes then?”

“Depends on if I fall asleep before you finish eating.” Jack retorts.

Alex sticks his tongue out and licks the peanut butter off his fingers slowly, eyes never leaving Jack's.

“I think you'll stay awake for me.” He says, licking his lips.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alex tastes like peanut butter. Well they both do, but Alex's lips are sticky with it and Jack can't get enough, tongue licking into the other boys mouth as he pushes Alex down onto the bed, thankful that unlike his own, Alex's doesn't squeak at all.

He's never, ever going to get tired of having Alex underneath him like this all wide eyed and breathless, arms wrapped around Jack's neck he pushes his shirt aside to leave marks along the top of shoulder.

Alex whines after a mark or two, “Naked, c'mon' he murmurs, relinquishing his grip on Jack so they can both attend to the matter of the ridiculous amount of clothing they're wearing.


	50. Chapter 50

Jack wakes to the glorious sound of Alex's alarm, nearly smacks the other boy in the face in his attempt to lunge for it – somehow he's managed to steal Alex's side of the bed, Alex curled neatly against his side, the other side. It's weird.

“Oh my god stop” He groans, “Alex please make it stop” It's way too early and he can't be fucked putting Alex's passcode in.

Alex snorts, taking the phone out of his hands and yes, beautiful, blissful silence reigns once again.

Alex licks his shoulder, a wet mark that pretty much turns to ice instantly. Bleh.

“Happy now, princess?”

Jack shushes him, “M'sleeping, this is all a dream.” before he mushes his face back into his pillow and he would quite happily fall back to sleep except for the fact that his brain chooses then to remind him, oh hey it's only Friday.

He bolts upright, and Alex raises a curious eyebrow.

“Alex, it's Friday!” He announces.

Alex shrugs. “So?'”

“So, school?”

Alex laughs at him, which Jack does not appreciate. School is serious business, he can't have Isobel thinking he's stopping Alex from gaining an education. Especially with the sheer amount of educationing that goes on on a Friday.

“I'm serious!” He whines, and Alex reaches over to pat his head

“Your mom called earlier and said you're free to hang out here with me, but if you want to leave for school that's fine” Alex drawls out the last part, the bitch.

“Why didn't you wake me up”

“I tried, but you kicked me and told me to fuck off”

Jack leans over to place a messy morning kiss to Alex's forehead.

“M'sorry”

He kisses Alex a bit more and the two of them compare the bruises that have started to show from last night, Jack's wrists have rather distinctive Alex-sized marks on them.

"People are going think we've been having kinky sex or something" He says and Alex smirks at him.

"That can be arranged" He says, and lord, it is way too early for Alex's sex voice.

Alex heads to the shower then, leaves Jack to curl back up into his warm spot in the hopes of getting a little bit more sleep. He adores Alex but god damn he is never going to be a morning person unless he's got a good reason to be awake. A sexy reason, for example.

He doesn't manage to catch a few more minutes sleep while Alex showers, instead covers his head with his pillow because Alex is an asshole and is deliberately singing both loudly and off key. Jack can and will murder him in his sleep.

Alex appears again, head wrapped in a towel turban. “Left the shower running for you” he says and Jack could kiss him right now because that means he can just walk in and be warm and it's wonderful.

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In the kitchen, Jack is surprised to find Alex's dad sitting at the table, cup of tea and a newspaper in hand.

“Morning Jack”

“Morning” Jack says hesitantly.

Alex appears behind him a few seconds later, “Oh, hey dad” He says, clearly as confused as Jack is as to why he's not at work.

“Um, why aren't you at work?”

Peter heaves a sigh, “Your mothers assigned me to birthday supply duty, something about me needing to take some of my leave days” he says in monotone, before his eyes sparkle in a mirror image of Alex's. “She might've mentioned something about cake”

“Cake!” Alex yells, and Jack jumps back in fright because what the fuck Alex is usually not one for spontaneous yelling.

“Cake!” Alex chirps again, spinning around to grin at him, “Jack, we're going to get cake!” before he's skipping around the kitchen table

Jack looks at Peter, hoping he's going to impart some knowledge as to why Alex is suddenly three years old again. Jack likes cake but it's never driven him to want to skip.

“Alexander, there's not going to be any cake if you can't get yourself together and stop terrorising Jack and I” He says firmly, just loud enough to be heard over Alex's chanting of 'Cake, cake, cake!' as he circles them.

Alex skids to a stop, pouting.

“But dad-”

“But nothing, do you want me to drop you off at school and i'll just take Jack?” He threatens but he's smiling and Jack feels at home all of a sudden, watching the two of them share what is obviously a long running debate about cake.

They manage to get through breakfast with minimal fuss despite Jack managing to spill jam all over the floor and Alex seems to have recovered from his brief moment of cake related madness.

“So,” Jack starts, as they're in the car heading to get well, cake he presumes, and hopefully party hats. “Why are you so excited about your birthday cake?

Alex affixes him with a weirdly focused stare.

'Because Jack, it's the most wonderful cake in the history of the universe” He announces, “And it's mine!”

To be honest, the bakery they're approaching doesn't look all that great. The sign out the front faded and peeling, the front windows clean but murky with age. Inside though, it smells awesome, like magic.

Alex looks positively gleeful though, hands pressed against the clean (Well, it was clean) glass of the display case. To be fair, the cakes shown look pretty awesome, a few of what Jack assumes are wedding cakes, and an adorable My Little Pony cake with what appears to be edible flowers instead of the usual plastic ones he sees at the grocery store.

He's not really paying attention as Alex is chatting to the cashier, instead wandering over to the cupcake display which boasts an array of seventeen flavours, according to the sign beside it at least.

He makes his way back over to Alex and Peter just in time to catch both of them peeking into a large, white cake box.

The cake absolutely looks like it could be the most wonderful cake in the history of the universe. It's tall and round and smothered in appears to be a mix of cherries, cookie crumble and some sort of nut and large dollops of icing with more glazed cherries on top. It smells divine and Jack resists the childish urge to try and sneak some icing off with his finger.

“This is your cake then?”

Alex nods. “I get this one every year and every year it's fucking awesome.”

Jack agrees.

They make another few stops to gather stuff for Alex's birthday get together. 'S'just everyones parents and a couple of my other friends' Alex had said, 'Basically we just fuck around and play videograms and watch the grown ups get drunk on fancy wine' and Jack sends a quick text to his mother to let her know she's invited to which she responds that she already knows, and damn, his mom can be sassy sometimes. He should never have taught her how to use emoticons.

Peter drops Jack off at home when they're done and he squishes Alex goodbye.

He spends the afternoon in his room, mindlessly killing zombies as he wonders about Alex's 'other friends'. He didn't know Alex had other friends and okay that sounds terrible but it's not like he's ever met any of them apart from Matt.

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Jack calls Alex at exactly midnight.

“Happy birthday motherfucker!” He yells (Albeit quietly, his mom might kill him if he wakes her)

“I hate you. You and Rian and Zack and everyone. Everyone.”

Jack frowns. He wanted to be first.

“It's only like, 12.01 how did everyone beat me?”

Alex's laugh crackles down the line, “They called early because they knew you'd want the midnight slot”

“So technically it wasn't your birthday when they called?”

“Nope, you're the very first”

Jack does a happy dance under his covers, within the constraints of his warm spot.

“Hey Alex,” He starts, not thinking, before he catches himself, bites back the I love you on the tip of his tongue. Now probably isn't the best time.

“Yeah?”

“Have you checked for grey hair yet?”


	51. Chapter 51

On the way to Alex's house Jack keeps tracing his fingers over the neatly Rian-wrapped gift, fingers tangling in the ribbon bow also courtesy of Rian.  
He's strangely nervous.

His mother reaches to give him a fond pat on the head. “Stop worrying, i'm sure Alex will love whatever you give him”

It's not the gift that he's worried about really, the chance of Alex suddenly not liking their favourite bands seem pretty slim. Its the uh, other gifts he's more concerned with.

The party/get together goes off without a hitch, Alex all dressed up and gorgeous as always, and the 'other friends' Jack was so worried about turn out to be Matt, his best friend Danny and Danny's boyfriend Evan. As his mother had so delightfully pointed out, it was a real sausage fest.

“Jack, hurry up it's cake time!” Alex calls from the doorway where he's attempting to hustle everyone else through, blaming Rian for holding up the whole damn line because he's decided just now is a great time to tie his shoelace.

“Ja-ack”

“I'm coming i'm coming” Jack says, slowly getting up from the armchair he's been sprawled sideways on to watch their rather epic game of guitar hero – he was on the winning side of course, completely crushing Rian's terrible attempt. The boy should definitely stick with what he knows.

Everyone ends up gathered in the kitchen, clustered around the kitchen table. Jack manages to nab the spot left of Alex, Zack on his other side.

Alex blushes in the most adorable fashion as they sing a deliberately off key version of happy birthday, eyes flicking around the room before Jack reaches for his hand and squeezes as Alex leans forward to blow out his candles, resists the urge to mash Alex's face straight into his cake. He thinks Alex might actually kill him for defiling the sanctity of it or something.

“What'd you wish for?” He pesters as Isobel swoops in to help remove all the candles, handing one to each of them to lick the icing off and hello there the most wonderful chocolate icing that Jack's ever encountered ever.

Alex pauses, glittery purple candle between his lips.

“If I tell you it won't come true” He says seriously, “But-” He grins, “There might be unicorns involved”

Isobel hands Alex a knife to cut the first slice, amongst snickering about whether or not they'll have to kiss. Jack hopes so.

The knife comes out dirty. Score one for Jack. He slides an arm around Alex's waist to pull him closer, leans toward the other boy and -

“Hey!” Matt yells, “Wrong guy!”

Jack raises an eyebrow.

“Last time I checked I was definitely dating Alex”

There's whispering and laughing and then Rian deigns to clue him in “Jack, Alex is supposed to kiss the person to his right – you're on the wrong side”

Well fuck.

Alex pouts. “Aw come on guys, surely we can bend the rules a little”

Rian shakes his head. “Tradition is tradition Lex”

Alex sighs, before pulling away from Jack and turning to face Zack, who winks at him.

“Zack, really?”

Zack laughs, “Just get over here so this can be done with” He says, holding his arms out.

Alex turns back around to flash Jack a grin before he throws himself at Zack, the other boy staggering backwards in surprise.

“Oh Zack come here and let me love you and your manly muscles!” He shrieks, pressing wet kisses to Zack's cheeks, arms wrapped tightly around his neck as Zack twirls him around before putting him down and nudging him towards Jack.

“There's no rules about who you kiss after the person on your right” He says.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So the cake is absolutely fucking awesome. Jack's pretty sure there was just a collective moan of enjoyment as everyone had that first mouthful and Alex looks like all his Christmases have come at once, licking his plastic plate completely clean before coming over to steal some from Jack. And Rian. And his mom before they head back into the living room for what Matt has helpfully dubbed the 'idiot olympics' which consists of Twister and an ill-thought out game of musical couch cushions.

It's not until Jack runs into Alex upstairs on his way to the bathroom, the other boy leaning against the cabinets pump in hand that he worries about how much cake Alex has actually consumed. He doesn't want the other boys day to be ruined by ending up really high. Or puking because Jack's not sure copious amounts of cake and the amount of bouncing Alex has been doing is going to mix well together.

“Everything okay?” He asks and Alex jumps, surprised expression fading into a soft smile as his eyes meet Jack's.

“Yeah, just you know” “He waves his pump at Jack. “Keeping an eye on the cake-ageddon situation”

Jack snickers, images of Transformers made out of cake flitting through his mind. “Is there a situation?”

Alex shakes his head. “Not you if help me out later” He says slowly, stepping forward to trace his fingers along Jack's shoulder.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Later turns out to be well after presents have been opened and (Alex had been so ridiculously appreciative that Zack actually had to threaten him so he'd stop repetitively thanking them all) and everyone has gone home, including his mom, and after another piece of cake – shared between them this time, though Jack feels he got the short straw because Alex definitely took more than his share of the icing.

“Sssh!” Alex says in between harsh breaths, Jack's lips sucking what's probably going to be a huge mark on his neck, pinned up against his bedroom wall, trying not to disturb his parents who are sitting downstairs in blissful ignorance (Or not so much, the TV is turned up awfully loud but Alex appreciates their efforts) – it's his birthday, why can't he be the wall presser?

When he voices this, Jack merely presses a finger to his lips. “It's your birthday, which means it's my job to make you feel good”

And when Jack drops to his knees, Alex's objections sail right out the window along with his brain.

They're still dressed and maybe Alex should be off put by Jack's Angry Birds socks but he can't bring himself to care as the other boy fumbles with Alex's belt before sliding his jeans and boxers down till they're bunched around his ankles. Alex goes to step out of them but Jack's hands pull at his wrists, guiding them to his hair instead.

“Mm, no. I like it when you can't get away” Jack drawls, lifting his head to meet Alex's eyes, drawing his tongue across his lips in a predatory fashion and Alex shivers because how on earth did he end up with a sex god for a boyfriend, really?

Jack goes to town then, kissing and sucking at his thighs, kitten licks to his stomach under his shirt and Alex is only human okay, can't stand Jack's teasing.

“It's my birthday” He whines, pushing his hips up. “Don't be a bitch”

Jack's answering laugh is warm across his cock. “So what are you going to do about it?”

Oh. Alex catches on, because clearly his brain is so beyond proper functioning that he's forgotten the whole has his hands in Jack's hair thing. He gives a gentle tug, and Jack pats his thighs affectionately “Atta boy”

Alex tugs a little more pointedly and Jack finally acquiesces, tongue pressing against the underside of Alex's cock as he sucks and combined with the occasional scrape of teeth Alex is ridiculously close ridiculously fast.

He tries to tug Jack off him but Jack merely hums along his length and lifts his eyes up to wink to him and well, if Jack wants him to come down his throat, who is Alex to argue?


	52. Chapter 52

Except that despite it being Alex's birthday, Jack decides to be the biggest prick ever and pulls away at that final moment, depriving Alex of what he's sure was going to be a delightful orgasm.

He thinks he might have actually growled at the other boy, fingers sliding from his hair to his shirt and wrenching him upwards, spinning to push Jack against the wall. You do not mess with Alex Gaskarth on his birthday, it's an unwritten law in the universe.

Jack grins at him, flutters his eyelashes.

“You motherfucking tease” Alex growls again, pressing his teeth against Jack's neck ignoring the others squeak of protest, he had his chance.

He pulls away then, grabbing Jack's shoulders and pushing him towards the bed, reaching to pull his own shirt off, untangling his pump from where'd hooked it into his shirt for safekeeping, crawls across the bed to settle himself on Jack's lap, his ass pressed firmly against the bulge in Jack's jeans. See how he likes it.

It's weird though, having Jack fully clothed beneath him and it's not really conducive to their end game, which is of course Jack giving him a proper birthday fuck, so they've got to go.

He slides his hands underneath Jack's shirt, “Naked, now” and Jack sits up, let's Alex undress him and as Alex shifts off of the other boy he suddenly finds himself the one pushed against the bed, foreheads touching as Jack laughs and murmurs something about birthday bitches before reaching for his jeans and Alex would complain but he's not about to interrupt his boyfriend getting naked.

Jack's reaching for the lube then, rustling through the large amount of junk Alex might've shoved in his drawer last week when he 'tidied' and he makes the most adorable chirp of achievement when he finds it, brandishing it at Alex with a grin.

“Let me” Alex blurts, not sure what's taken hold of him but he can't, doesn't want to wait for Jack's careful fingers, the idea of wading through soft and gentle unbearable when he really wants Jack inside him yesterday.

Jack's eyes are wide, staring at him. “Jesus Alex, are you sure?”

Alex bites at his his lip, considering. “Maybe I wanna give you a show” He says coyly, like it's Jack's birthday and not his own and he has no damn idea why he wants this, wants Jack watching him but once the image is in his mind he can't shake it and that's all the convincing he needs to pry the bottle from Jack's hand, the other boy still staring blankly at him.

He slicks his fingers, wonders if Jack is going to contribute anything more than what's turned into an open mouthed stare before the other boy is crawling up the bed beside him, nose nuzzling Alex's shoulder, hand sliding down to jerk Alex's cock and okay, he can work with this.

He's pressing a second finger alongside the first when Jack finally finds his voice, husky words whispered into Alex's neck “You're so fucking gorgeous” He says and Alex shivers, urges his fingers a little faster, a soft whine in his throat, hips pressing up into Jack's hand.

“Look at you,” Jack continues, “I'm not entirely sure it's not my birthday”

All bets are off then and Alex is so, so done and it seems like forever passes while Jack returns to the junk drawer for a condom, reaching for the lube again before he's finally, finally getting the only thing he really wanted for his birthday.

Jack's hair is wild and Alex can't stop himself from running his hands through it, pressing and tugging just a little to hear Jack groan, thrusting into him a little harder and it's difficult to break the cycle, slide his hands down to grab at Jack's shoulders, pull him closer.

“Thought you were gonna make me feel good” He sasses, just to watch Jack's face as the other boy pauses and then breaks into a low laugh, hand sneaking around Alex's neck to pull him into a bruising kiss.

“I'll give you good” He retorts and then he's more than living up to his earlier pledge, pulling Alex's legs over his shoulders and thrusting hard and long and deep and Alex is aware that he's making stupid, incoherent noises but he can't help it, not till Jack bends to kiss him again, swallowing the sounds, pressing against his prostate over and over, sparing a hand to stroke Alex in time with his thrusts and it's obvious that neither of them are going to last particularly long, Jack's breath hitching and falling and he's groaning into their kiss as well, as though he's more mindful than Alex is of the presence of Alex's parents just downstairs but Alex is beyond caring at this point, pulling away from Jack's lips to cry out the others name, body taut with pleasure.

After all, birthday boys get to come first right?

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------

They lie together afterwards, breath heavy and bodies damp, Alex resting his head on Jack's chest, satiated.

It takes him a few minutes to summon the energy to reach for his meter, make sure he's not too far one way or another because he doesn't generally mix his cake with sex but in a glorious feat of organisation and achievement (Okay, pure luck but fuck it, Alex is taking all the credit), he's just slightly to the right of perfect.

He pokes Jack's shoulder. “Wanna shower with me?”

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning Alex greets him with a huge, sleepy smile and Jack can't help but grin back.

“So that might've been the best birthday ever” Alex says, shifting to snuggle against Jack's side. Jack agrees. And it hadn't even been his birthday, but he doubts he's going to get any present better than the permanent mental video he has of Alex stretching himself, spread across the bed like an otherworldly being.

“Can I get a repeat of last night for my birthday?” He asks and Alex snorts, pats him on the head.

“If you're a good boy, we'll see”

Originally, Jack had assigned today as the day he was going to give Alex his 'other present'. He'd thought about it though, and the idea of giving Alex a free day probably wouldn't have turned out as awesome as he would like to imagine it would. In a perfect world, all Alex would have to do was exist and not worry about bolusing or testing and counting carbs and Jack would take care of it all, and for a while it had seemed like the best idea ever.

Except that the reality would be Alex worrying about Jack worrying about just what the fuck he'd be doing, and it would be less of a free day and more like double the stress and stress is not a good birthday present.

So Jack's ditched that idea. He knows that Alex is entirely capable of taking care of himself, and Jack, well, he just needs to keep reminding his boyfriend that it's okay to lean on him if he needs to.

And maybe dissuade Alex from wanting leftover cake for breakfast. He's pretty sure it's a rule that cake is not to be consumed before midday. Or maybe that's what his mother told him to keep him out of early morning baking sessions.


	53. Chapter 53

School drags on as usual, the winter weather refusing to budge even the tiniest bit and Jack's sick of it, sick of being cold all the damn time.

The school band plays at their yearly school awards ceremony which Jack is delighted with, even if he and Alex had to be 'reminded' that it was a school function and not a rock show and although none of the four of them receive an award themselves, Alex has assured him that Zack was definitely in the running for manliest muscles in the year book.

Of course, it's when everything seems to be going fine, great even by all accounts, things start to go well, less fine.

It's Saturday morning – early Saturday morning Jack might add and he's hovering in the kitchen waiting for Alex to show. They'd arranged for Alex's mom to drop Alex off on her way to do the shopping which thankfully both him and Alex haven't been bribed into.

Except, Alex doesn't show. Jack texts him at a quarter to ten (He was supposed to be here around nine) and it's a full ten minutes later that he gets a reply.

Won't be coming over, sorry <3\. Shitty day. - Alex.

Well fuck. Jack's fingers fumble over the keypad as he rushes to text Alex back.

Everything okay, need to talk? - Jack.

Sleeping, talk later. - Alex.

Is the the only response he gets and Jack's torn between being a little annoyed how short and aloof Alex is being. (But it is just texting, he justifies) But still, what if Alex is the only one home right now- what if something happens, what if he's low?

He texts Rian, figures Alex might be willing to impart more to him in this moment.

Except Rian doesn't know much either, hasn't talked to Alex outside of school for a few days. 'I kind of figured I was on holiday for a bit since you two are pretty much attached at the hip' he says, and Jack feels bad for worrying him.

Jack decides to not immediately get his mother to drive to him Alex's. Alex is completely capable of taking care of himself, Jack doesn't have to be there. He'll text Alex later on, or call him.

Alex doesn't reply again that day and Jack sits down to dinner with his mom in a weird state of mind. He's torn between needing to make sure Alex is alright and not being some kind of weird hover boyfriend. Hopefully Alex will want to talk in the morning.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alex doesn't. He doesn't reply to Jack's texts or answer Jack's calls or respond to the multitude of voice mails Jack's left for him.

He can't bring himself to call the Gaskarth's home phone, not wanting to disturb Alex's parents, make them worry over what's probably nothing.

It's a few hours later, the afternoon well and truly set in, another delightful winters day as Jack steps up onto the porch to ring the doorbell – he might be worried but the novelty of the doorbell is yet to wear off – He has to make sure Alex is alright for himself.

It's Alex who opens the door and he looks like crap, dark circles under his eyes and seemingly swamped by the hoodie and track pants he's wearing, his hair messy and knotted.

“You weren't answering, are you okay?” Jack blurts, startled at how unkempt the other boy looks.

And clearly Alex isn't okay, but Jack still asks because it's ingrained in him.

“I'm fine.” Alex says stiffly. “I think my phone is flat.” He's still leaning against the door frame.

“Can I come in, or are you going to make me stand out here in the cold?” Jack jokes but Alex doesn't smile, just steps aside to let Jack pass. He is obviously so not fine that Jack can't believe he's trying to convince Jack that he is.

“Alex, I know you're not okay, you don't have to pretend” He says quietly, soothingly, he's not sure what's going on but he doesn't want to push too hard.

Alex sighs as he shuts the door behind them. The house seems quiet and it occurs to Jack that maybe Alex is home alone because surely Isobel wouldn't be letting him roam the house in such a state.

“You didn't have to come, i'm not really in the mood for company” Alex mumbles and Jack pauses, one hand out of his coat.

“I was just worried about you, wanted to make sure you weren't dead or something, we didn't get to say goodnight” Jack says, feels kind of stupid for mentioning that they hadn't shared their traditional goodnights to each other but they rarely miss them and well, he's a little upset.

“Well maybe I just want to be alone, i'm not fucking four Jack, I don't need a babysitter” Alex snaps, frowning at him.

Alex's reaction is the last thing Jack's expecting, the harsh words echoing in the hall.

“Well excuse me for being worried about my boyfriend” He snaps back, half expects Alex to you know, apologise for being a dick and let Jack hold him but what he gets is the complete opposite, the other boy turning on his heels and stomping up the stairs.

“Alex. Come on. Alex?”

Jack starts up the stairs as well, hears a door slam closed.

He knocks on Alex's door.

“Fuck off”

'Not until you open the door and tell me what's wrong.”

“I said fuck off Jack, I don't need you here!”

The words sting and Jack actually takes a step away from the door, hurt. He doesn't know what Alex is so upset about, so angry at him for.

He takes a deep breath, reaches for the doorknob, fully expecting it be locked so he can say he tried and maybe leave like Alex wants him to. It's unlocked though, the door sliding open under his hand, Alex facing away from him across the room, fingers clenched tightly against his window frame.

He turns around as Jack steps into the room, considering.

“Alex, whatever it is, I can help. You can tell me.” He tries, reaching forward to try and pull the other boy into a hug, not sure what else to do.

Alex wrenches out of his grip. “No, no you fucking can't Jack, you can't help at all, no one can!” He yells and this is Alex angry and Jack thought he'd encountered angry Alex before but this different.

It's startling, the way he swipes the contents of his desk onto the floor, pencils clattering to the floor, books landing with a thud and Jack freezes, arm still reaching for Alex where Alex had been.

A tiny little voice in the back of his mind reminds him that irritability and anger are symptoms of hypoglycaemia.

“Alex,” He says cautiously, because Alex has stopped destroying his room, is just standing stiff and still, his back to Jack. “Do you think you might be low?”

It's only after the words fumble their way out of Jack's mouth that he realises that they were a mistake.

He can practically see proverbial hackles rising on Alex's back as the other boy turns around slowly, fixing his eyes squarely on Jack's own.

“What did you say?” Alex says, in a tone of voice Jack's never heard before, words hissing through clenched teeth.

“I, uh, Alex I-” He tries, but Alex shakes his head, points a shaking hand towards the door.

“Get out.”

“But Alex-”

“I.said.out.” Alex says whirling around and clearing his bedside table as well, hands shaking.

Jack does the first thing that pops into his head. He grabs Alex, wrapping his arms tight around the other boys chest, pulling him away from the broken lamp now lying on the floor. There is no way in hell he's leaving Alex alone like this.

“Let me go!” Alex snarls, kicking and squirming and he's going to hurt himself or Jack in a minute, Jack's sure, wincing as bony elbows dig into his sides, fingernails pressing into his skin.

“Alex, you have to calm down, please” He begs, he can't hold onto Alex like this without one of them getting hurt but he's terrified to let go.

Neither of them hear the click of the front door, nor the footsteps heading upstairs as Alex continues to fight him and Jack starts in fright when Isobel and Peter appear in the doorway.

“Boys”, Isobel says quietly, shock draped across her features and Jack supposes they're quite the picture right now, her hysterical son being forcefully held by his boyfriend. He lets Alex go, takes a step back, annoyed that they probably think he's the bad guy here.

“You deal with him” He says sharply, hating that he says it like Alex is merely something that needs dealing with but he's angry as well, hurt by Alex's words and no doubt bruised from his actions and he can't deal with it, doesn't even know where to begin. He'll go home like Alex so desperately wants him to.


	54. Chapter 54

The second Alex hears the front door slam shut downstairs everything seems to come to a halt. He stares at his parents, breath harsh.

“I want to be alone” He says meekly, hoping that maybe they'll save the chat they're obviously going to have with him for a little bit later. He can still feel his heart in his throat almost, the adrenaline thrumming through his veins because he'd been fighting his boyfriend. Jack.

He staggers back a few steps till his knees hit the edge of his bed, sitting down, pressing his hands to his head. What has he done?

“Alexander,” His father says evenly, stepping in the bedroom, navigating around the chaos that Alex has created.

“I'm fine.” Alex says, because why isn't he allowed to be upset without it being analysed like this, can't he just be angry because it's an emotion he's feeling, instead of a potential reflection on well he's managed to take care of himself today?

“You might be, but let's make sure” His father reaches down to pick his meter case up off the floor, holding it out to him.

Alex obliges him as his mother comes to sit next to him, mainly because the reality is either he does it or his parents will and he wants to try and maintain just a little bit of control in a situation that he's let get completely out of hand.

He is fine and a tiny part of him feels self-satisfied at that before remembering what fine had turned into.

He feels his mothers hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently and it's such a Jack thing of her to do that Alex can’t be angry anymore, tears pricking at the corner of his eyes because he knew this would happen, knew that one day he'd push Jack away and what if he doesn't come back?

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jack doesn't go to school on Monday. Or Tuesday. He stays home, claiming he's sick but it's obvious that his mother knows that somethings happened with Alex. She doesn't ask though and for that Jack's thankful.

He hasn't talked to Alex since he'd walked out on Sunday and it's killing him. He's gotten a few texts from Rian and Zack saying he should but he can't bring himself to. Alex hasn't tried to contact him at all.

Logically, he knows that he's overly upset over a few heat of the moment words but he thought Alex trusted him more than he apparently does.

He's almost expecting the knock at the door that afternoon that turns out be Rian. He looks disappointed. Jack feels like he's the disappointer.

“I know what you're going to say” He says tiredly.

Rian raises an eyebrow. “No you don't.”

“Yes I do. You're here to tell me that I should go and talk to Alex about what happened. I'm not going.” He says stubbornly, thinking that is all Alex's fault and then immediately regretting the thought.

“I'm not here to tell you that actually.” Rian says, shoving a plastic sleeve full of paper at him. “I collected your homework for you.”' He continues, before turning to leave.

Jack watches him go, until he's about halfway down the drive.

“Rian wait.” He calls, “Can we talk?”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They end up in the kitchen with mugs of hot chocolate.

“I guess Alex told you what happened.” Jack starts, Rian still spooning sugar into his mug.

The other boy nods, “I'm not going to sit here and make excuses for what Alex did, he was an ass to you, he knows that. But he wants to make things right with you.”

“Then why isn't he here instead of you?” Jack whispers, staring blankly at the marshmallows slowly sinking into his own mug. “I know he gets messed up sometimes, but I don't understand what went wrong.”

“He's scared.”

“He wasn't so scared when he was screaming at me to leave him alone”

Rian sighs, and Jack feels guilty for making him mediate between him and Alex.

“You knew that a relationship with Alex would be different” Rian says diplomatically.

“I didn't think different would end up like this” Jack replies, unzipping his hoodie and sliding the shoulders of it down enough to show Rian the bruises that dot his skin. Bruises that Alex had left.

“He shouldn't have done that.” Well obviously he shouldn't have Rian, thanks for clearing that up.

They sit in silence after that, Jack re-zipping his hoodie and both of them sipping at their drinks before Rian leans back in his chair, the old wood creaking. Jack caves in and asks the question he's been wanting to ask all along.

“Is Alex okay?”

“Are you okay?” Rian asks instead and that's all the information Jack needs right there. Alex is not okay and despite how upset he is with the other boy, he can't just stop caring about him. Love doesn't work like that.


	55. Chapter 55

It's Wednesday morning before Alex finally manages to clean up the mess he's made of his room. He's been avoiding school much like Jack Rian tells him and Alex begs him to visit Jack, make sure he's okay.

It's still hard for him to define exactly what happened. But sometimes, sometimes he's angry. Irrationally so, over perhaps the most tiny, insignificant things.

It's kind of a side effect of being him and it's not an excuse but it's true. Depression and anxiety combined with the day-to-day knowledge of what he has to do to stay alive make it harder for him to cope with the little things in life. He'd been having a rough week, both mentally and blood sugar wise – which he'd been doing such a swell job of keeping to himself that each afternoon he'd come exhausted which okay, might not sound like enough to drive someone to irrational, violent anger but the constant weight on his chest as he sets alarms every hour in the night to make sure he's not too high or low, skin crawling, over-sensitive, combined with the lack of sleep and worries that he can't let go for even a second, it just, it catches up with a person. He'd just wanted to curl up in his bed and sleep interrupted when Jack had turned up.

Retrospectively, he doesn't know why he didn't just ask for help. It's not exactly a foreign concept.

He feels so horribly, horrifically guilty about how he treated Jack, doesn't know what came over him because he usually turns his anger inwards, or at inanimate things. He's only ever put up half-hearted protests to Rian's assistance maybe once or twice. He's not violent.

Jack was only trying to help and he'd been the worst human ever. Now he's worried everyone else as well and he can't get a moments piece without critical eyes watching him, making sure he's doing what he's supposed to be.

It's mid-morning before he finally gathers the courage to slink downstairs and ask his mother to drop him off at Jack's. He feels like a prick for not calling or texting but he just couldn't, can't put how he feels into words. But he doesn't want to lose the boy he's fallen in love with.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jack's polishing off the last cookie of the several he'd put on plate for himself, along with a glass of strawberry milk (Although it's more strawberry topping than milk if he's honest) when there's a knock on the door. He figures it's probably Rian come to actually persuade him to talk to Alex or a tiny glimmer of hope occurs in the thought that it might actually be Alex.

It is.

“Alex.” He says stiffly, tries to ignore the way his body wants to curl around the other boys, hold him tight. Alex looks even worse than when Jack had seen him last and Jack imagines he probably looks a treat as well. It's obvious they have to talk.

“Can, can I come in?”

“Maybe I want to be alone” Jack says, throwing Alex's words back at him and Alex's hesitant expression falls and Jack feels a little bit bad because Alex doesn't look like he's come to pick a fight, vehemently defend himself.

“I guess” He finds himself saying, pulling the door open and heading down the hall, presuming Alex will follow him. He curls up in the single arm chair in the living room, knowing that if he and Alex share a seat he'll want to hold the other boy and that's not what this is about. Not yet anyway.

Alex sits on the lounge adjacent, hands curled in his lap, head low.

“So?” Jack prompts because he can see Alex's mind ticking over, fingers scratching at his jeans.

The whole sordid tale comes out of Alex's mouth then, words rushed and quiet at the same time, apologies and regret and what Alex is adamant are not excuses, merely events that led to the bruises imprinted on Jack's skin.

Jack's not so angry anymore, he's hurt more by the fact that Alex didn't share this with him because they're supposed to be a team, a united front against all the shitty things in life. A lifeline.

“You should've said something” He says eventually, when Alex finally runs out of words, merely concluding with another soft apology, hopeful eyes meeting Jack's for the first time since they sat down.

He can sense the 'I couldn't' on the tip of Alex's tongue before the other boy swallows noisily, rethinks his response.

“I just, I didn't want you to worry” Alex says quietly. “I'm so sorry Jack, I didn't mean to hurt you, I swear”

He looks so forlorn that Jack's out of his chair in an instant, pulling Alex into his arms, tugging his legs across Jack's lap. He nuzzles his nose into Alex's hair, Alex trembling against him and the last thing Jack wants is for him to cry.

“Hey,” He whispers, “It's okay, I just wish you had talked to me, you know I only want to help, so maybe next time we talk first alright?”

Alex nods into his neck, still breathing out apologies against Jack's chest.


	56. Chapter 56

Things are a little off for the next few days, both of them still hesitant around each other, words awkward and hugs not quite as all consuming as they used to be. Jack is determined however, to make things properly okay again.

He's not doing a half bad job he thinks, considering he's got a lapful of sleeping Alex with him on the couch right now. They were supposed to be having a movie marathon but it's only a little after ten and Alex is out like a light, stealing what little body warmth Jack's got like some kind of leech. A cute leech though, so Jack's willing to let him.

Jack sits through the last few scenes of The Dark Knight which was actually Alex's suggestion so the fact that he's fallen asleep proves that Jack's not the only one who's finding the sudden distance between them hard to deal with.

Eventually the menu pops back up again and Jack turns the TV off, pitching the room in almost darkness, only the light from the kitchen spilling into the very corners of the room.

He tries to shift his weight a bit, he's reasonably sure his ass is numb and he really has to pee, has had to for the last half hour but Alex makes a tiny whine and fists his hands in Jack's shirt and if he could he'd keep Alex snuggled in his lap all night (He would attempt to him carry upstairs to his room but he'd prefer both of them actually remain alive).

He runs his fingers through Alex's hair. “Lex, you gotta wake up”

Alex makes a sound that probably translates loosely to 'No fucking way'. Jack sighs, reaches for an extra cushion.

“Alright,” He says, “Brace yourself” In a coordinated series of movements that he wishes he could do in places they're actually required – like PE, Jack manages to lift Alex up enough to slide out from underneath him and then quickly wedge the cushion under his head.

“Nooo” Alex wails, hands reaching towards him. “S'pillows cold Jack, cold”

Jack pats his boyfriend on the head. “I'll be back in like a minute, calm your tits”

When he returns Alex is curled up into a tiny little ball, cushion on the floor.

“C'mon Alex, bed. If you stay down here you'll freeze”

“Carry me” Alex says petulantly, “I'm not wearing socks and my feet will get cold”

“Do you really think me carrying you up stairs, in the dark is a good idea?”

Alex is silent for a moment, before he opens his eyes and stares blearily at Jack.

“I guess I do want to live” He mumbles, before uncurling himself. “You have to hug me the whole way though, I require warmth to move”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In a rare occurrence and something that Jack hopes never happens again – he's awake before Alex is. It's a Saturday and seeing any number before eleven should be some sort of crime. It's not even eight.

Alex is sprawled halfway across the bed, toes pressed against Jack's ankles and an arm slung out across Jack's chest, doona tucked under his chin. Sleeping Alex is one of those things Jack can never have enough of. He always looks so peaceful, not worried about anything, just dreaming about whatever crazy stuff he dreams about.

He tries valiantly to fall back to sleep but he can't.

Jack sighs, glances across at Alex again in the hopes that his own annoyance at being awake might've been enough to push the other boy into consciousness. Nope.

He stares at the ceiling for a few more long minutes before he has an idea. He can make them breakfast in bed. Which okay, does involve going out into the freezer that is the rest of the house but the idea of surprising Alex is saying it'll be worth it.

Slipping out of bed, Jack pads around to Alex's side of the bed and pokes around under his pillow for his phone, wants to be Alex's alarm for once. He taps in the the passcode, deactivates the alarm set for half past eight. He's got half an hour.

Surely he can do breakfast in half an hour.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A little longer than half and hour later (Who knew it was going to take so long to make toast) Jack is heading back upstairs, two cups of hot chocolate in one hand and a precariously balanced plate of nutella toast in the other. He can do this.

Setting everything down on the bedside table, licking a few stray drips of chocolate of his arm – the cups were perhaps a little too full, he slips back into bed and nudges Alex's shoulder.

“Mmph.” Alex says.

Jack nudges him again and Alex's face scrunches up as he opens his eyes, looking lost for a moment before his gaze falls on Jack and turns into a sleepy smile.

“I feel like you're awake early” He murmurs.

“I made breakfast” Jack says, gesturing to the bedside table with it's veritable mountain of toast, they are teenage boys after all and they both like toast.

Alex raises an eyebrow, “Why?”

Jack shrugs. “Wanted to, couldn't go back to sleep with all the snoring you were doing”

Alex swats at him, “I do not snore”

“You keep telling yourself that and maybe it'll be true”

Alex sits up then, stretching his arms above his head

“So, what time is it?”

“Uh, quarter to nineish”

Alex looks panicked for a moment and Jack shifts closer to slide an arm around his shoulders, kissing his cheek.

“Stop freaking out, I wanted to surprise you so I turned your alarm off”

When Alex doesn't react Jack's nervous of just a moment, thinking that maybe fucking with Alex's routine wasn't the right way to go in order to get them back on track but his suddenly horrified train of though is broken by Alex's lips on his, arms curling around his neck

“You're wonderful, you know that” Alex says, pulling back a little, rubbing their noses together in an impromptu eskimo kiss.

Jack grins at him, “I know.”


	57. Chapter 57

They slip slowly back into their routine of school, sleepovers and snuggles mixed with the occasional snowball fight or outing with Zack and Rian because apparently they're starting to mold into a single entity and Rian would prefer that to not happen. Him and Alex being one person would be weird. Jack doesn't really want to fuck himself, even if he has Alex parts.

They're in the schools creepy basement for PE (Well, it's not actually a basement just a decidedly damp hall with gross lockers and Jack's pretty sure it's haunted by the souls of kids who never finished their laps) for a year-wide boys dodgeball tournament (The girls have taken the newer hall with it's fancy plumbing) and Jack has only Zack to protect him because their teacher was a prick and put Alex and Rian on the opposing team.

Jack's lanky figure makes him a reasonably hard target and despite his lack of athleticism he actually manages to nail a few of the guys on the other side to the surprise of his teammates.

They get roped into packing everything away afterwards, Zack and Rian being friendly with their impromptu coach from football and it's not like they're in a huge rush anyway.  
By the time they've packed all the balls into their netted bag everyone else has left, just the four of them, voices echoing off the walls.

“C'mon I want to eat lunch sometime this century” Rian says, hefting the bag over his shoulder like some kind of caveman carrying a boulder. “Don't forget the cones”

Jack obligingly picks up a stack of the bright orange cones, following Rian's lead as they make their way to the storage room.

Inside they discover a trampoline that might've been used for gymnastics at some point in the last century, covered in the a thick layer of dust.

Jack sneaks up behind Alex, who's still putting his stack of cones onto the shelf and grabs him, lifting him into the air enough to plonk him on said trampoline, the other boy sending dust flying everywhere

He can hear Zack laughing behind him, stepping up to offer a high five.

Alex bounces a few times, ensuring that the dust floats everywhere, smudged across his face and bright brown against his black jeans “I hate you” He says laughing, “You have about five seconds before I stop jumping”

Jack runs, leaves Rian and Zack to hopfully hinder Alex and not help him, searches for a place to hide. There's a metal wardrobe type thing in the corner next to a bunch of hockey sticks, door ajar and he tries to hop inside as quietly as possible, not leave fingerprints on the dusty door.

“Ready or not here I come!” Comes Alex's voice and Jack tries to breath quietly, wishing he'd picked somewhere to hide that didn't smell of bleach and feet.  
He hears footsteps, distant banging and then more footsteps.

“Hey Alex, did you check in here?”

Rian is a bastard.

The footsteps come closer and then the doors being pulled open and Alex's hands are everywhere, digging into Jack's ticklish spots, causing him to shriek.

“Alex!”

Alex yanks him out of the cupboard, pushes him into Rian's arms and keeps tickling until there's tear tracks down Jack's cheeks from laughing so hard.

Eventually Alex stops to double over in laughter himself, saying something about payback in a breathy voice and Jack takes his chance then because a Barakat is always on the lookout for opportunities, doesn't give up on the first go round.

Reaching for Alex he quickly pins the others arms behind his back.

“No!” Alex wails, “Zack, save me!”

Zack taps his chin thoughtfully. “Hmm, nope. Not getting involved.”

“Rian!”

“I'm gonna go with Zack on this one” Rian says and Jacks gleeful, he's got Alex all to himself.

He pushes Alex into the cupboard he was hiding in, slamming the creaky door shut. Immediately, Alex starts pounding at the door.

“Ja-ack, lemme out!” Alex whines from inside, voice heavy with laughter.

“Not until you say I win” Jack chirps, holding the door shut.

“Never!” Is Alex's answer, pushing enough weight against the door that Jack can't quite hold it and he has to step back a little, brace himself a bit more, looking around for something he can prop against it like they do in the movies maybe a chair or something.

Jack's the first to admit he's not thinking all that clearly when the first thing that comes to mind isn't a chair, but to snap the ancient looking lock resting on the one of the cupboard handles shut with a satisfying snap.

Oops. He tugs at it, hoping that it's not completely locked.

Alex keeps hitting at the door and Jack turns around to face Rian and Zack.

“Uhm,” He says, laughter gone from his voice, “We've kinda got a problem?”

Rian steps forward, peers around Jack's body to the lock he's trying to hide behind himself.

“Tell me you didn't.” He says, even though it's obviously apparent that Jack has indeed locked Alex into a cupboard they don't have key for.

“I didn't mean to, it was just there!”

“Guys?” Comes Alex's voice, having ceased his banging. “Can I come out now, it smells weird in here”

Rian runs a hand aross this head, lips twitching into a frown as he reaches for the lock and tugs on it like Jack has, reinforcing the fact that it's definitely locked.

“Jack, c'mon you can win just let me out” Alex says again, tapping at the door albeit much more quietly and Jack doesn't know what to tell him. 'No Alex you can't come out because i'm an idiot' doesn't have the best ring to it. Him and Alex have just gotten back on track and now he's gone and done the most moronic thing he's done in a while.

“Alex” Rian says softly, “Is there enough space in there for you to sit down?”

“Uhm, I guess” Alex replies, the sound of things being shifting around emanating from the cupboard. “But I don't want to sit down I wanna come out tell Jack I want out”

There's a pause while Alex seems to consider what's been said. “Jack?” He says hesitantly, “Tell me i'm not stuck in here.”

Jack looks at Rian with a pleading expressionlm, doesn't want to be the one to break the news to Alex.

“Alex, Jack's locked you in okay, but we're going to get you out really soon I promise”

Alex makes a weird kind of squeaky noise. “This is a joke, right? Jack put you up to this”

Zack steps forward, “It uh, not a joke.”

“No.” Alex says, “I am not stuck in here. This isn't happening.”

There's a brief moment of silence before there's pounding at the door again, like Alex is using both his hands and feet and over the noise Zack volunteers to either find someone with a key or crowbar, insists that it'll be quicker is he goes by himself, leaves Jack and Rian with Alex.


	58. Chapter 58

There is pretty much an infinite number of things that are wrong. Jack's locked his boyfriend in a cupboard. His boyfriend with anxiety. His diabetic boyfriend who's been playing dodgeball all morning and is yet to have lunch.

He keeps flicking little glances at Rian, unsure if he's about to take a solid smack to head or something but Rian just looks at him, expression unreadable.

“I'm gonna get Alex's bag” Rian announces abruptly, although Jack doesn't know what good it's going to do, there isn't a space in the cupboard big enough to slide an m&m through, even if they wanted to.

Alex has stopped banging now, fallen silent.

“Jack?” Comes his hesitant voice.

“I'm here,” Jack says, moving closer to to cupboard, knocking his knuckles across the door. “Fuck Alex, I swear I didn't mean to lock you in”

“Don't leave”

“I'm not going anywhere till we get you out, I promise, just” Jack racks his brain trying to think of something that won't come off as trivial comfort. “I know it's hard because you're stuck in there and i'm not, but you're okay, okay?”

Rian returns then and Alex doesn't reply. He sets Alex's bag down, sits a little way away from the cupboard, mouth in a thin line.

“Everything alright?” He asks and Jack raises an eyebrow because hello, Alex, cupboard. Not okay, before he realises that Rian's talking to Alex.

“I want to get out” Alex says.

“We're working on it, Zack should be back really soon”

“I want to get out now” Alex says again, voice cracking on the last word and Jack feels awful because who wants to be the reason their significant other is upset?

“Let me out” He says, more desperately now and suddenly he's yelling again, pleading to get out and it's awful and part of Jack wants to run, hide somewhere until this is over. But he can't do that to Alex.

“Alex, Alex sit down” Rian calls over the noise and Alex must listen because there's a scraping sound and a few thuds against the door.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alex let's his knees give, wraps his arms around his knees as he sits at the bottom of the cupboard, praying that this is all a nightmare he's having and that he might wake up soon, tucked safely in his bed.

But he knows it's not true. He's trying not to be noisy but he can hear his breath echoing in his ears, the fear clawing it's way across his body. He's not claustrophobic exactly, but he's trapped in a tiny box in the dark and he's not in control and it's terrifying.

He can hear Jack and Rian outside, voices soft as they try to reassure him but it's alright for them, they're not the ones in here.

It takes a few minutes of him trying to be quiet before he can't any more, picks up that awful noise he knows he makes, the one that makes people cringe in pity and fear and the walls are closer now, he's sure.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hearing Alex cry is the worse thing in the world, the awful sound he only ever makes when he's terrified, backed into a corner by his body and there's nothing Jack can do but press his hand against a dent in the door and ask Alex to do the same, in the hopes that it might distract him enough that he can fight the grips of anxiety just a little.

Why isn't Zack back yet? Surely it can't take this long to find someone with a key, or something to break Alex out with, right?

Jack's not really sure how long it's been.

Alex's cries to turn into the loud, raspy sound of his breathing and for a minute Jack dares to hope that Alex might've been able to turn things around even in his fear, but;

“I think i'm low” aren't the words he wants to hear.

Jack catches Rian's eye, the other boys soft curse of fuck.

There's a rustling sound and then Alex's panicked voice again. “I don't have glucose tabs or anything at all, I left everything in my bag since it was right there”

Jack's heart kind of drops then, because the reality is that Alex's diabetes is very real and he can't just remain stuck in a cupboard indefinitely.

“We're gonna get you out really soon Lex, you'll be alright, Rian's got your stuff right here” Jack says, hoping the growing sense of fear he has doesn't show through in his voice.

Thankfully, and Jack is so very, very thankful, Zack reappears at that moment bringing appropriately enough, their metalwork teacher Mr Baldwin, who's got a lanyard packed with keys and a metal mallet, both of which Jack is very happy to see.

Their teacher merely raises an eyebrow at them, glance lingering on Jack because let's face it, this is all his fault.

“Alex, are you alright in there”” He asks cheerfully, fumbling with the veritable mountain of keys, some of them looking decidedly ancient and rusty.

There's a beat of silence before Alex's “No” floats through the air,

“Ah well, we'll just see if i've got the key here before I resort to violence” Mr Baldwin says, looking a little off put by Alex's response, probably expecting that a group of teenage boys locking each other into things to be more humourous than they're making it but the truth is that it isn't funny at all, not since Jack locked the door, the sound of the lock in his brain on repeat.

Mr Baldwin steps forward, starts trying keys in the lock and Jack watches with bated breath, hoping that one of them is the right one because he's not sure how Alex is going to cope with how loud the mallet will be if they have to break him out, how much worse his panic attack could get.

Halfway through the mountain of keys there's a click and then Mr Baldwin's pulling the doors open and Jack can't help but breathe a sigh of relief, rushing forward forward as their teacher steps back, anticipating their response.

“Alex” He says quietly and he's maybe expecting Alex to be enthusiastic about getting out but the other boy doesn't seem to register the fact, still curled into a tiny ball amongst mops and buckets and who knows what.

He's shaking, body quivering and Jack's first instinct is to reach for him, drag him out of the cupboard and into his lap, cradle Alex's head against his chest.

He knows that Mr Baldwin’s watching watching but can't doesn't care, Alex is far more important than what he thinks.

Alex's faces is wet with tears and Jack knows the guilt is going to linger with him for a long time.

“Fuck, Alex”

Rian's hands appear in his vision then, a handful of glucose tabs, the orange flavour Alex isn't particularly fond of, and a bottle of apple juice.

“Here, Alex” Jack shifts the other boy so he's sitting up, back against Jack's chest,

It hits him then, how understated Alex's 'I think i'm low' probably was, he's pliant, lets Rian feed him the tabs, obediently sucks at the straw of the juice, trembling hand curling around Jacks own and squeezes it and Jack's happy that Alex is coherent enough to search for him at least.

“Do I need to call the nurse?” Mr Baldwin asks looking appropriately nervous because the sight Alex is making would be quite scary, Jack imagines, from an outsiders perspective. It's terrifying and he knows what's going on.

“It's alright” Zack says easily, “We'll take him up in a minute, no need for her to come down here”

He's thinks that Zack will be the one to carry Alex but instead it's Rian and it tugs at Jack's heart just how close him and Alex are, the bond that they share.

They're halfway there, just entered the main building when Alex, still curled in Rian's arms start to cry, tiny little hitching whines and Jack panics because Alex should be okay now, the sugar hitting his system and balancing things up again.

He defers to Rian, reaches out to rub at Alex's dangling ankle. “He's okay right?” He doesn't want Alex to be hurting.

Rian gives him a tired smile, “He's gonna be fine” He says, but Jack gets caught on the 'going to' part, the implication that everything isn't okay right now, despite their best efforts.

And it's all Jack's fault.


	59. Chapter 59

Not soon enough they're in the nurses office, Rian quickly relaying the series of events that’s led them here as he sets Alex down on one of of those little plastic beds that someone had to have known would be way too short for teenagers, the top of it only coming to Jack's knee.

Alex holds his arms out for Jack and Jack squeezes in next to to him, slides an arm around his waist. He's stopped crying for the most part, just the occasional sniff and shuddery breath, eyes glassy.

The nurse, Janet as she introduces herself to him, seeing as how they haven't exactly met before, immediately kneels down beside them, pushes Alex's fringe out of his eyes. Jack's prepared for her to be pushy and demanding, to take control but she doesn't, steps back after Alex raises a still trembling hand to push hers away.

“So, just how low are we?” She queries, as if this is an everyday occurrence and not the panic filled event that it is for Jack and logically Jack realises, there's a pretty high chance this has happened before. Granted, not because some idiot locked Alex in a cupboard, but still.

“Fuck, we forgot Alex's bag” Zack curses and Jack's head snaps up, fully prepared to run back for it.

Fortunately, Janet heads across the room and reaches into a nearby cupboard, pulls out a plastic tub with A. Gaskarth on the front and of course there's a back up plan for this kind of situation. It's not dissimilar from the the box of assorted stuff that Alex keeps in his wardrobe, test strips and a meter or two and spare pump tubing and still unidentifiable miscellanea.

Alex squirms out of his grip as he holds out his hand for Rian and the proof of Alex's nonchalant response earlier is in the numbers and Jack's thankful that they'd gotten Alex out sooner rather than later.

Zack brings over a plastic cup of water and Jack takes it from him, raises an eyebrow at Alex in question, Alex reaching his hands to curl around the cup as well as he drinks noisily.

Jack rests the empty cup on the floor beside them as Alex manages to croak out a hoarse thank you and Jack shifts so he can hold him a little tighter, brings his hands up to rub at Alex's bare arms since they'd ditched their hoodies for the game before Rian's holding out one of those plaid old people blankets, draping it over Alex's shoulders.

A few minutes pass in reasonable silence, Rian dragging a plastic chair across the room to sit on and Zack taking the little bed opposite them. Alex is quiet, a solid weight pressed against Jack's chest and it's little unnerving how still he is.

“How are we feeling now?” Janet asks, coming back across to them and Alex makes a face that might be a smile, just might be.

“Better” He says voice rough, tired.

Janet nods. “Well you know the drill, you want your mom or your dad to come pick you up?” She asks and fuck, Jack didn't even think about Alex's parents, either one of them might kill him for this but at least Peter won't have that disappointed face like Isobel will. Fuck. He locked their son in a cupboard and made him sick.

Alex shrugs. “My mom, I guess” He says softly, snuggling into Jack's side.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Isobel turns up some fifteen minutes later, a worried frown set across her features as she pulls Alex into a hug, asks if he's alright. Alex, to his credit, manages to string a few sentences together to reassure her.

Alex sits up and drinks some more juice while Isobel and Janet discuss everything and Jack doesn't miss the look she gives him when his name is mentioned. She doesn't have to say anything because it's most likely impossible to make Jack feel any worse than he does.

To his surprise, Rian turns down Isobels query as to whether he'll be coming home with Alex, instead saying that Jack should go.

More surprising is that fact that she actually agrees. Technically Jack isn't supposed to leave school grounds without permission but fuck school rules, this is Alex we're talking about.

Zack gives Alex a piggyback to the car despite the other boys half-hearted protests that he's capable of walking but he's smiling properly now and Jack's stomach unclenches a little. They've got a couple of spare minutes while Rian jogs back to the hall to retrieve everyones bags, Jack attempting to buckle Alex's seatbelt for him and failing so delightfully that Alex does it in about three seconds flat but is kind enough not to say anything.

The car ride is quiet bar the soft hum of the radio in the background. Jack keeps catching Isobel's eye in the rearview mirror and smiling seems wrong for the situation so he settles for mouthing 'i'm sorry' so as not to disturb Alex, who's leaning against his shoulder, eyes closed.

He gets a nod in return and Jack figures that's better than he could've hoped for.

Alex is a little wobbly on his feet as they head up to the house and Jack wraps an arm around his waist so Alex can lean against him, still nervous about just how alright Alex is going to be.

They end up in the living room, Alex having untangled himself from Jack's arms in order to hand his pump to his mother and they're discussing basal rates and percentages and things that Jack still doesn't quite have a handle on and he's not quite sure what to do other than sit there awkwardly until they're done, Isobel heading into the kitchen with instructions for Alex to not go anywhere, the other boy letting out a soft huff of a laugh because they all know he's not going anywhere just yet.

It's the first time Jack's been alone with Alex and he's not sure what to say.

“Alex, i'm so-” He starts but Alex presses a finger against his lips and Jack swallows back the litany of apologies on his tongue.

“I'm not mad Jack, I just, you're a little bit of an idiot you have to admit” Alex says but he's smiling and maybe, maybe he's okay.

“Are you really okay?”

Alex's smile falters a little and Jack can see him thinking about an appropriate answer.

“Don't lie, please” Jack blurts, feels guilty enough for having done this let alone making Alex feel like he has to protect Jack's feelings.

Alex sighs.

“Honestly, I feel like shit” He says and whilst Jack knew that, hearing it is different.

“Did you want to expand on that?” He finds himself asking because he's masochistic like that, wants to know exactly what he's done.

Alex looks at him curiously. “You want to know how I feel, right at this moment? Are you sure?”

“M'sure”

He wants to know the damage he's done so he might be able to start making repairs for it.

“I don't know where to start but okay, i'm hot and i'm cold and my legs are like jelly and the idea of eating anything makes me want to throw up but I can't and i'm upset that you're upset because it was just a stupid thing and thinking about it makes everything worse and my head hurts and i'm exhausted but I can't go to sleep because who knows what my body'll do next and now my mom’s gonna be worried but also i'm really hungry”

Alex's words come out in long, convoluted rush and Jack kind of regrets asking, getting a play by play recount of what a terrible partner he is and he's thinking of maybe leaving because clearly he's done more than enough but then Alex is pulling into a hug, arms tight around his neck and Jack knows he won't leave.

“Stay” Alex murmurs, always able to read Jack like a book even when he's not at his best. “I want you here”

Jack kisses the top of his head, holds Alex back as tight as he can.


	60. Chapter 60

After lunch which Alex had attempted to protest but had ended up eating willingly, most likely due to the look Isobel was giving him, they're curled upstairs in bed.

Alex has traded his jeans for pyjama pants and he's all soft lines as he rests his head on Jack's chest, fingers intertwined across his hip. He wasn't lying about being exhausted Jack thinks and he's still too quiet.

Jack's tracing gentle patterns across Alex's shoulder under the covers, wondering whether Alex would be more comfortable with an actual pillow when Alex's voice breaks the silence.

“Is it okay if I take a nap?”

“Course you can, i'm not really in a good place to object, am I?” Jack says quietly and Alex turns his head so he's facing Jack to smile at him.

“Can you wake me up in like, an hour and a bit?”

Jack reaches for his phone because chances are if Alex is asleep he'll fall asleep and really, it's safer to set an alarm. He turns 'a bit' into fifteen minutes.

“Done.” He announces.

He nudges Alex across the bed, onto an actual pillow so that they're spooning, pulls the doona up a little higher.

“I'm really, really sorry” Jack says, in the silence that follows.

Alex merely hmm's at him, reaches to pull Jack's arm across his body and okay, Jack gets the picture, less talking more napping.

Jack doesn't fall asleep, just keeps replaying everything over and over in his head, stares at the back of Alex's head. He's out like a light, gentle, even breaths as he sleeps.

Jack's snapped from his daydreaming by a soft knock on the door and Isobel's head pokes around the corner, a soft smile on her face when she notices Alex is asleep.

She fixes the covers on Alex's side a little, fixes a gravity defying strand of hair.

“Jack honey, I need to duck out to the shops to grab a few things, is that alright?”

Jack's confused as to why she's asking his permission but decides to go with it, he's lucky she hasn't banished him from sight.

“Yeah, sure, I don’t think he'll be too much trouble” He says, gesturing to the sleeping boy beside him.

Isobel smiles at him, checks her watch. “I know he won't be happy, but if i'm not back by four can you wake him up and remind him to test?”

Jack doesn't mention the alarm he's got set for about then, that Alex already knows he's needs to wake up, just nods and then Isobel's gone and Alex sleeps on.

It's about ten minutes to four when Jack checks his phone again, having gotten tired of staring at the ceiling. He doesn't want to wake Alex up. It seems cruel almost because he's so definitely asleep and Jack's never felt bad about waking him before but he feels kinda awful knowing that it's his fault Alex is tired and not in the good, post sexual encounters way.

He wonders if he could check Alex's blood sugar for him. He knows it's possible and it's not like the sensation would be unfamiliar to Alex, right?

And then Jack wouldn't have to be the bad guy again.

He figures why the fuck not, the worst that can happen is either he can't do it and has to wake Alex, or he wakes Alex while he's doing it and if he doesn't do it he has to wake Alex anyway so hell, it's worth a shot. He turns off the alarm.

He reaches for Alex's meter and the bottle of test strips beside it, loading the strip and making sure it's in the right way.

Slipping out of bed in attempt to not jostle Alex too much, Jack pads around to the other side of the bed. He wants to approach this from the best possible angle.

One of Alex's arms is slung out above the covers, curled around his pillow and Jack crawls onto the bed a little, pries Alex's fingers out of the pillow case, tries to give himself a pep talk. He can do this. He's seen Alex do it a million times, he's tried it.

He presses the lancet against Alex's skin, hesitant to pull the trigger so to speak, takes a few seconds to actually do it, holding his breath.

Alex doesn't even stir.

As he's pressing the strip against the tiny drop of blood, Jack has another thought. What's he supposed to do with the result?

He knows the difference between high and low numbers and where Alex always tries to keep between but there's a lot of experienced decision making involved in those numbers that could go either way, depending on the situation. He didn't really think this through.

And of course, when you've locked your boyfriend in a cupboard and made him have an anxiety attack and be low at the same time, you get sketchy potentially high numbers. And Isobel isn't back yet.

He nudges Alex's shoulder.

“Nghuh” Alex's face scrunches up, the hand that Jack had borrowed lazily swatting at him.

“Ah-lex, wake up”

Alex's eyes open and he rubs at them before looking around and then affixing Jack with a half-lidded stare that's both intimidating and sweet.

“Shwah?” Alex says, ever coherent.

“I uhm, you were asleep and I didn't want to wake you but I don't know what to do with this” Jack says in a rush, holds out the meter.

Alex continues to stare at him for a long moment, before he takes it from Jack, stares some more.

“Where's my m-” He starts, “Wait, did you do this?”

“Um, yeah”

Alex's hand fists itself in Jacks shirt. “Kiss me” he commands and Jack of course obliges, presses his lips to Alex's slightly dry ones, strokes his cheek, a little surprised but going with it. At this point he's willing to do whatever Alex wants.

Jack pulls away after a long moment, “So?”

“Mmm, it's okay for now” Alex says, pulling the covers back, sending everything onto the floor and Jack snorts and Alex just shrugs, patting the empty spot he's made.

“Spoon me more, please”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jack calls his mom in the evening (She's used to him not coming home these days) explains what's happened and listens to her laugh float down the line after assuring her that Alex is just fine.

“Only you Jack, only you”

And yeah, it makes him feel a little better.

He ends up being allowed to stay at Alex's, provided he goes to school the next day.

After dinner they head upstairs again, Alex dragging Jack into the shower with him. It's innocent, him washing Alex's hair and Alex returning the favour, a sort of understanding between them.

It's not until they're changed into pyjamas that Alex turns around to grin at him, a little creepily.

“What? Is there toothpaste on my face?”

“You locked me in a cupboard” Alex says slowly and yes, Jack thought that was a well established fact.

“I said I was sorry!” He whines, confused.

“Me. In a cupboard.”

Jack's lost.

Alex laughs at him then, proper laughter. “You don't get it, do you?”

“I have no fucking idea what you're on about”

Alex comes to stand behind him, head on Jack's shoulder.

“Well yanno, we're kind of out of the cupboard, aren't we?”

“Oh come on” Jack says, catching on. He's not slow, he swears.

“Someone had to make that joke and I decided it'd be me”

“So, i'm forgiven?” Jack asks, hesitant because he wasn't thinking that Alex would want to joke around but he is and Jack has no idea if things are okay now or not.

“Jack, there's nothing to forgive you for. Was it really stupid of you to lock me in a cupboard, of course it was but as soon as it happened you stopped joking around and took care of me, and that's all that matters, alright?”

Now, Jack hasn't ever read Twilight (But he has seen the movies, his mom likes them okay), and loathe as he is to quote Stephanie whats-her-face, he is completely, irrevocably in love with Alex.

They give each other a soft, chaste kiss goodnight then, Alex demanding that he gets to be the big spoon for once and Jack's not complaining as Alex wraps lanky limbs around him.

A few minutes pass, before Jack presses back into Alex a bit more.

“I love you” He says quietly into the darkness.


	61. Chapter 61

Alex stiffens beside him and Jack wants to call the words back into his mouth, it's been a long, tiring day and he shouldn't have told Alex like this, not thinking about what comes out of his mouth, the words he only ever whispers inside his head.

Alex is pushing at his shoulder then, rolling him onto his back, eyes glinting in the little light the window provides in the darkness.

“What did you say?”

“I love you.” Jack repeats, because he loves Alex with such force that it scares him sometimes, the way his mere presence fills a hole in Jack's soul he didn't even know existed and he isn't going to lie and pretend he's said nothing.

He's scared though, terrified that Alex doesn't feel the same and Jack's about to utter a softly stuttered apology, plead that things don't have to change when Alex throws long arms around his neck, pulling them together.

“I love you too, I love you Jack, I love you so fucking much and I was afraid, afraid that-”

Alex cuts himself off and Jack can hear the sob in his throat, holds Alex back as tight as he can. Alex loves him. Jack's heartbeat thrums through his veins because as much as he had hoped for this, he can't quite believe the reality.

Alex fucking loves him.

“Hey, hey” Jack murmurs, pressing soft kisses against Alex's head because he shouldn't be crying, shouldn't be upset even though they're most likely tired tears, he doesn't want Alex to cry at all.

“Don't cry, you're supposed to be happy”

Alex sniffs, “You have no idea how happy I am”

Jack smiles into Alex's hair, “That's because you're yanno, crying”

Alex's hands first tightly in his shirt “Shutup”

“Only if you say it again”

“Shutup?”

Jack pulls back enough to pout, and Alex gives him this soft little smile that lights up his eyes as he replies.

“I love you, you idiot”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jack doesn't fall asleep for a long time afterwards, still in disbelifef that Alex feels that way about him.

Morning comes way too soon as it usually does and one day Jack will remember to change Alex's alarm to something soft and soothing and preferably about four hours later.

Alex reaches for his phone and silences it, rolling over to stare sleepily at Jack.

“Hi” Alex says, voice rough and Jack's whole day improves right then and there because cute sleepy Alex is the epitome of sweetness.

“Hi”

Alex shifts forward to snuggle his head against Jack's chest and Jack curls an arm around him, happy for any opportunity not to get up just yet.

“I love you” Alex whispers against him, breath warm against Jack's shirt and it makes his heart beat faster, warmth spread through his limbs to hear Alex say those words and Jack squeezes him tightly, kisses Alex's forehead.

Last night wasn't a dream.

“I love you too.”

They lie together before Alex's 'five more minutes' alarm goes off and they both groan as Alex reaches for it again, stifling a yawn.

Upon closer inspection, now that Jack's eyes aren't blured with sleep, Alex looks like shit. There's dark circles under his eyes and even though he's sprawled out next to Jack he seems tucked in on himself, tired. Jack realises that the power of I love you doesn't extend to fixing stupid mistakes you made the day before.

He lets another deep groan of disdain at the hour, and the knowledge that they have to go to school, and yanks the covers off both him and Alex.

"C'mon, i'll make you breakfast” He says, because it's the least he can do. A 'sorry I locked you in a cupboard but I love you' apologetic and also celebratory breakfast. He's thinking pancakes.


	62. Chapter 62

For the rest of the week (Well, after he's taken a day or two to get back to normal, the cupboard incident zapped him out a bit) Alex is floating on a cloud.

A cloud of love. He feels like he's living in a movie because the fact that Jack loves him back is amazing and things already seem different between them, an unspoken connection. A physical one too, because Alex hasn't been able to keep his hands off Jack at all lately, not that he's heard Jack complaining.

It's not all sexual either, sometimes he just wants to hold Jack's hand under the desk in history class or snuggle while enjoying his mom’s cookies.

He's told Rian of course and his best friend is over the moon and Alex remembers when Rian had first told Zack he loved him, how happy he'd been and Alex had thought it was impossible for Rian to know what love was.

But he's realised now, that he was wrong.

On Friday morning, still with a mouthful of cereal, Alex texts Jack.

Tell your mom you've got a hot date tonight ;) - Alex

Alex had wanted to do something special to celebrate because he wants Jack to know that his love for him extends far beyond words, had considered dressing up and taking him out to dinner somewhere nice which would be great but Alex knows it wouldn't be them.

So he's gonna get him mom to drop them off at the lookout to watch the sunset and then get pizza on the way home. They have a sleepover tradition, after all.

Rinsing his bowl out in the sink, Alex's phone buzzes on the table.

Do I have to wear pants? :P – Jack

Alex snorts.

Well no, but it's your own fault if your dick freezes and falls off (This is a clue please wear pants and a jacket!) - Alex

Alex texts back before heading upstairs to shower because at the rate he's going to miss the bus and then he won't be able to tease Jack about their date all day.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jack bounces from foot to foot outside the school gates waiting for Alex's bus to turn up. There's snow building up on the ground again but he doesn't care. He requires more details about their date. He's told his mom he's going and he's got spare clothes thrown in the bottom of his bag with the hope that he can steal some of Alex's pyjamas.

Five minutes later and Alex is one of the last off the bus and Jack waves at him before he walks straight past him. Alex has a tendency to be on another planet sometimes.

His face lights up when he sees Jack though and Jack slings an arm around his shoulders as they head into the school grounds.

“So,” He wheedles, “Where are you taking me on this hot date?”

Alex's eyes twinkle and Jack frowns.

“No, you didn't say it was a surprise!”

Alex laughs. “That's part of the surprise. Surprise!”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jack tries all day to get Alex to spill the beans to no avail. Alex is a stubborn little bitch when he wants to be. He keeps saying that it's not that great really, but Jack is unconvinced. Even if it's nothing special, Alex has a knack for making the smallest of gestures amazing. And they have only recently admitted they love each other and Jack has no doubt that Alex wants to celebrate.

If only he'd share how.

He's still trying to squeeze the information out of Alex as they walk not to the bus but to his mom’s car and Jack's even more curious now.

“Alex, c'mon!”

“Ask me one more time and you can go home with my mom” Alex retorts, shoving Jack over so they can both climb into the car through the one door, going around be damned.

“Afternoon Jack” Isobel greets and Jack knows that she knows where they're going – I mean obviously she would since she's driving but she's got that sparkle in her eye that's almost identical to Alex's.

“Hi, I guess you won't tell me where we're going either?” Jack tries to make a pleading expression and Isobel laughs.

“You'd be right”

He's interrupted from his pitiful expression making by Alex waving something in his face.

“Oh you are not” Alex has a blindfold. Jack is not wearing it. Nope. No way.

“Oh yes I am” Alex says, mimicking his tone and waving the black fabric at him again.

“It won't be a surprise if you can see where we're going, so please?”

Alex is infinitely better at making cute faces.

“Fine.” Jack huffs, but he twists his head so Alex can drape the material over his eyes and fasten a knot at the back. Jack can't see shit. Which he figures is the point.

The car ride is silent, Alex having vetoed putting the radio on into order to 'create suspense' and hell, it's working.

Jack has no idea where they're going. He'd tried to pay attention at first, creating a map of the roads near the school in his head but he's never been good with directions so he's given up. The road twists and turns and Jack's got no idea how long they've been driving for.

He's relieved when they finally come to a stop.

“Stay here, and don't take that off” Alex commands, and then Jack hears him getting out of the car, the soft thumps of the boot opening and closing, feet crunching against gravel.

Jack sniffs, thinks that maybe he can detect their location by smell. It's cold, is all he can really tell. Cold and dirt.

Maybe Alex is a serial killer after all.

He hears Isobel laugh and whoops, he hadn't meant to voice that thought.

The door on his side opens then and Alex is helping him out, leading him around to say goodbye to his mother, says he'll call her when they're done. Alex pulls him back a few steps, and Jack hears the sound of tires on gravel and then silence.

Well, not silence. He can hear birds in the distance.

“Now?” He whines.

“Not yet” Alex says, tangling their fingers together.

Jack lets Alex lead him forward again, it could be ten feet, it could be a hundred, Jack doesn't know.

“Steps” Alex says again, and Jack obediently lifts his feet a little higher, let's Alex nudge them onto the steps, arm solid around his waist. He trusts Alex not to let him fall.

After the steps, it's not gravel any more. Maybe concrete Jack muses, because it seems solid under the little snow that he can hear them crunching through.

An indeterminate distance later, Alex comes to a stop.

“There uh, a table, and a bench”

Alex isn't particularly good with directions either.

“You want me to sit?”

“Yeah” Alex laughs softly, and Jack has no trouble imaging the cutely embarrassed face he's making.

Jack feels around with his hands, let's Alex guide them so he can feel a table top and then his legs find the space between table and chair and he sits. The bench is cold.

“Now?”

“Yes, now” Alex says, voice almost a whisper as he fumbles with the knot at the back of Jack's head.

“Just, don't laugh, okay?”

The blindfold falls into his lap then, and Jack doesn't have time to answer that he wouldn't, because what he sees in front of him no one would ever dream of laughing at.

They're at the lookout, the lookout where he first realised he was in love with Alex, and it's fucking gorgeous.

The suns low in the sky, a deep red reflecting off of clouds and snow, and on the table there's a picnic basket, a thermos poking out of the top.

Beside him, Alex looks apprehensive, teeth biting into his lip and Jack stands up and leans over to kiss him.

“I fucking love you” He says in between presses of lip, “This is amazing, you're amazing”

Alex smiles into their kisses, all traces of apprehension gone and Jack pulls back before going for one last kiss. Alex is kind of irresistible.

He wants to shout from this mountain, have it echo into every corner, every crevice of the sprawling city below that he's in love, in love with one Alexander William Gaskarth but at the same time he wants to keep it secret, just between the two of them on the top of the world.


	63. Chapter 63

That night as Alex sleeps peacefully in his arms, Jack's suddenly struck with the magnitude of what's happened.

Everything's perfect. He's in love with Alex and Alex is in love with him.

Jack's just not entirely sure he deserves to have Alex love him like he does.

Logically he knows that Alex wasn't lying because no one can fake that look in their eyes, the smile on their lips.

But Jack's worried.

The past week has been wonderful, Alex by his side and they've been closer somehow, and he hadn't been worried at all then.

He loves Alex but what if Alex could do better? Jack knows Alex could do better.

Alex deserves someone who's as beautiful as he is, someone who's not too lazy to do more research to understand his diabetes, someone who can take care of him better than Jack does.

But maybe, maybe Alex doesn't know those things. Maybe Jack's stopping him from finding someone better.

The premise is ridiculous, stupid, Jack knows. In a slightly off kilter way, him and Alex are perfect for each other. Despite the occasional moment of stupidity, he's completely capable of looking out for Alex. Sure, maybe he could know a little more but when the time is right, he will.

Everything is fine. His and Alex's relationship is on the up and up, there's nothing to worry about. Alex isn't going to wake up in the morning and tell him it was a mistake.

It just, Jack's not sure about love. He knows love changes, can ruin people. Love can break families apart and destroy everything.

Jack refuses to hurt Alex like that. Truthfully, he can't imagine that he ever could, but still.

He knows he doesn't need to worry about this kind of stuff because he's not lying to Alex and Alex isn't lying to him. Jack is genuinely in love with the other boy. And he's going to roll over, cuddle up to his boyfriend and everything will fine in the morning.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Everything is not fine in the morning. When Alex smiles at him and mumbles good morning as he reaches for his meter, Jack feels different.

He doesn't want to fuck things up.

By some miracle, Jack doesn't have to spend the day alone with Alex. And it sounds awful he knows but he's so confused and he doesn't want Alex to know, and Alex can detect any sort of self-detrimental feelings Jack's having from a mile away.

They're at Rian's house, all set for a day of video games and what they like to call band practice but in reality is just everyone trying to play someone elses instrument and failing badly. Thankfully, the Dawsons have an almost soundproof garage.

He's in the living room with just Zack, Rian and Alex in the kitchen attempting to make well, Jack's not sure but there's a lot of yelling and slamming of cupboard doors.

“Hey man, can I ask you something?” He says quietly in the middle of their round of Mario Kart and Zack spares him a quick glance before he pauses the game.

“You didn't get Alex pregnant did you?”

Jack snorts, “Not this time”

Zack holds out an arm, and Jack slides into his embrace. Zack's always been a soothing kind of guy.

“So, what's up?”

“You're in love with Rian, right?”

Zack looks puzzles for a moment, before he smiles. “Yeah, I am”

“And you've told each other?”

“Yup”

Jack's silent for a moment, considering.

“Were you ever worried you weren't you know, good enough?”

Jack can both hear and feel Zack sigh, and the arm around him tightens.

“Jack, if Alex thinks you're good enough to love, then you are. You can't worry about stuff like that.” Zack says softly.

“I used to worry that if I was dating Rian then he'd never find the perfect girl to marry but then I realised that it didn't matter what I thought, because to Rian, I was that perfect girl. Even if I was boy.”

Jack lets Zack's words sink in, mulling them over. It makes sense, as the things Zack says generally tend to and by all accounts Alex does think that Jack is someone deserving of his love.

“But how do you know what love even is? What if Rian's only pretending?”

“Shit, sorry I didn't meant that I-” Jack scrambles to apologise, never had any intention of calling Zack and Rian's relationship into question.

“Jack” Zack's voice is firm, his tone more serious than before.

“Do you really think that Alex is lying to you? That the way he looks at you isn't real? When you think about him, when he's with you, that makes you happy, doesn't it?”

“Yes”

“Then it doesn't matter if you're not sure what love is. If Alex makes you happy, and you and I and Rian all know that you make Alex happy, then you've got nothing to worry about. Nothing has to change just because you've said some words, you're still you, and Alex is still Alex.”

And whilst Jack knows that Zack is telling the truth, in the back of his mind he's still not sure.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Zack's worried. If Jack's coming to him, not Alex, and not Rian, somethings wrong. He doesn't know how Jack can't see that to Alex, he's everything.

He assumes that Jack chose him in the hopes that he wouldn't tell Rian because as they all know, Rian, once he knows about something, will leave no stone unturned trying to fix it. Especially if Alex is involved.

Rian's sprawled across his lap after the boys have left and Zack figures it's better to get this out in the open sooner than rather.

“I think Jack's freaking out”

Rian's hand pauses where it'd been rubbing Zack's knee.

“About what?” Rian says cautiously.

“He thinks Alex deserves someone better”

“You told him he's got nothing to worry about didn't you?”

“Of course, but I don't think it helped much”

Rian sighs, and Zack strokes his fingers acrss the other boys head.

“Wanna head up to bed while you think about the chat you're gonna have with him?”

“Sounds good”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jack goes home that evening, sits on the edge of his bed in silence for a long time, pushing and pulling at the thoughts in his head.

He's clad only in a t-shirt and he's drawn to the faded lines on his arm, a reminder of what worrying has done to him in the past.

Jack worries differently from Alex, not plagued with the constant press of anxiety, no, he tends to fixate on single things.

He doesn't like to think about that time in his life, which seems so far away even if it's barely been two years.

There'd been no awful trigger, no ruthless high school bullies or adult tormentor, just Jack and what was once an overwhelming sense of no longer being in control.

He'd been terrified of someone finding out and that had only made things worse because he knew that he didn't have a good enough reason.

Jack's lucky though, because his mother walking in unannounced one day had meant that he'd gotten help, been able to talk to someone.

It's never been something he's wanted to talk to Alex about because in Jack's eyes, it's a non-issue. He was younger then, perhaps misguided. It's not who he is now.

Unsettled, Jack unlocks his window, scrapes away the snow from the ledge, climbs out and up across the tree branch to his spot on the roof. The snow is cold and it's soaking into his jeans but he doesn't mind.

He wants look at the stars for a while.


	64. Chapter 64

To his credit, Rian decides that whatever kind of crisis Jack is having over Alex he doesn't need to jump right in and interfere. After all, Jack had been talking with Zack and not him, so maybe all he needs a little time to figure things out.

It's hard though because even he notices that over the next few days, Jack is different. Not overly so, but it's obvious that he's not entirely there and it's always been Alex who tends to space out, not Jack.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Somethings wrong with Jack. Or not wrong, but not right either. After their date, which Alex though had gone pretty damn brilliantly Jack's been well, sort of distant.

He's still cheerful and affectionat but it's like he's holding something back, is hiding something. Alex doesn't really have a leg to stand on when it comes to not sharing things but well, he'd kind of hoped that him and Jack had reached the point where they could share with one another.

Maybe Jack's not talking to him because he's the problem. Alex replays the last couple of weeks, racks his brain to try and think of something he could've done, something he could've said that might've been a little too snappy, a little too sarcastic.

He's got nothing.

He tries curling up to the other boy one afternoon on the couch, a packet of chips and salsa between them, tries to steer the conversation in a way that might make Jack want to talk, but it's fruitless.

Alex tries to avoid the little voice in his head that's telling him this is it, that Jack's finally getting tired of him. Maybe Jack regrets falling in love him, wishes he hadn't but won't tell him because he doesn't want Alex to be upset.

It can't be true, because Jack's confession had been entirely sincere and why would he lie when he was the one who said it first? It's not like Alex announced it and then pushed Jack into a corner.

Jack wouldn't hurt him like that.

But the thing is of course, anxiety is a bitch. It makes him worry beyond reason, an incessant flow of doubt and what ifs running through his head at a million miles an hour and no matter how much he tells himself it's not real, that the things he's concerned about aren't true he can't stop it.

He loves Jack with everything he has and it isn't much but he'd do anything for the other boy, give him the stars and the moon if he could. Surely Jack has to know that.

Maybe that's the problem. He gets clingy sometimes, needs to reassure himself somehow that Jack isn't going to up and leave him and maybe he's been too needy, not giving Jack enough space, holding him a little too tight. Maybe Jack's tired of dealing with all his shit, doesn't want to be in love with the disaster that Alex knows he is.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Rian corners him a few days later after school, Alex having already gotten on his bus and Zack conspicuously absent, Jack knows that Zack's told him.

He's tried his best to keep it to himself, not change around Alex but he knows Alex knows something is up, is just giving Jack a chance to tell him before he actually asks.

“Rian, sup” Jack figures he'll at least try for casual.

Rian just gives him a look and Jack wipes the grin off his face.

They end up in a park not too far from the school, on a bench out of the way of the playground and passers-by.

“Zack says you're having a crisis” Rian says with preamble.

“At no point did I use the word crisis”

“Well, crisis or not, you wouldn't have gone to him if something wasn't wrong, yeah?”

“There's nothing wrong” Jack says stubbornly because part of him doesn't want to have this conversation, have Rian swoop in to fix things like he always does.

“So you and Alex are completely, totally fine then? Come on Jack, I know you better than that”

Jack hangs his head because as usual Rian is right, as much as he tries to hide his feelings and he wants to fix things, he does.

He's just got no idea how.

“I love him Rian, I love him so much that it's terrifying because he loves me back and what if I fuck everything up because he deserves so much better than that and what if i'm holding him back?”

The words fly out of his mouth and in a way Jack's thankful because he's never been very good at hiding things, likes to talk.

Rian is silent for a long time before he speaks again.

“Don't you think that Alex is strong enough, intelligent enough to know how he feels about you?”

Of course Jack does. He's never though Alex to be stupid for a moment.

“You know I do” He says quietly.

“Then you have to know that he wouldn't lie to you like that”

“Even if you think you're the worst person in the world, Alex adores you. It doesn't matter if you think he could do better, to Alex, you're the best things that's ever happened to him. You know you love him, and you know he loves you, what are so concerned about?”

“But he deserves so much more, he's so amazing and i'm not, i'm just some kid who sails through life making stupid jokes and bad decisions” Jack manages to croak in reply, a lump thick in his throat, mouth dry.

Rian meets his eye, gives him a sad little smile.

“Jack, Alex loves you because of those things, not in spite of them. And if you're this worried, you need to talk him because you have to know that he's worried about you as well, and right now his heads telling him he's done something wrong. You've got to stop thinking that Alex is flawless, he's human and I think you know that, you just need to believe it.”

Jack's thoughts come to an abrupt stop. He never, ever wanted Alex to feel like him being upset is his fault. Never.

The idea of it makes him sick because he should've considered this earlier, not had to have it pointed out to him. By trying not to hurt Alex he's been hurting Alex and even if it hasn't been that long, it should've never happened in the first place.

They're supposed to be happy, and Jack's made them not.


	65. Chapter 65

After chatting with Rian for the remainder of the afternoon, the other boy assuring him that he'd make sure Alex was okay but not to the point of sharing Jack's fears, Jack's in his room again.

His mothers gone out with some friends from work so he's home alone.

He feels awful. She'd left him macaroni and cheese but he can't face the idea of eating it, not even wanting to touch the fresh baked apple slice cooling on the counter top.

He's hurting Alex and that needs to stop. He knows he needs to talk to him, knows that Alex will understand, be able to provide the assurances Jack so desperately needs but he just can't. Can't pick up the phone to call or text or go to Alex's or have Alex come here. He doesn't want Alex to know how weak he is that he's able to make something so simple into such an emotional catastrophe.

Jack ends up curled into the tiniest shape possible underneath his covers, hoping that it will all go away even though he knows that won't happen.

He must fall asleep because when he finally pulls himself from under his blankets it's dark, and all the stars are covered by thick, dark snow clouds.

Jack checks his phone which is still on silent from school, heart clenching at the little envelope flashing in the corner that shows his messages. It's just after midnight.

They're all from Alex.

Heyy, you should come over tonight my moms making tacos :D – Alex

No? Are you napping like an old lady? - Alex

I think I ate too many tacos. Are you awake yet? - Alex

Jack? :( - Alex

See you tomorrow then I guess, night <3 – Alex

Jack feels even more awful, if that's possible. Now Alex is definitely, definitely going to think that he's done something to upset him.

He's in the bathroom before his mind has time to process his actions, stripping his clothes and turning the shower on, lets the water become too hot, burning his skin as he makes himself stand under the spray. At least he'll be clean for school tomorrow. Or today. Whatever.

He's not sure how long he stands there, letting water run down his fringe and into his eyes, skin blotchy and red from the heat.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning, Jack knows that he has to do something. Because this is how everything started before. Doing things impulsively and whilst a scalding shower isn't so bad in the grand scheme of things, it's a rung on a ladder that Jack said he'd never step foot on again.

The problem is that he doesn't know what to do. He doesn't want to worry his mom because she's been so happy lately (Jack has a feeling she might've met someone at speed dating, just a seminar his ass) and he doesn't want to ruin that for her.

He heads down to the basement, turns the heater on and drags the couch closer to it, sprawls out across it, face mushed against the rough fabric. He's not going to school he decides, can't face anyones concern because he can no longer pretend he's fine.

He leaves his phone upstairs.

A few hours later and Jack manages to drag himself into the kitchen for food. He needs to eat, even if he doesn't want to. He wonders if that's how Alex feels sometimes and the idea makes him have to lean against the kitchen table, knuckles clenched white against the wood. At least Jack has a choice.

He settles for toast with peanut butter, drags the toaster out of the cupboard, reaches for his toppings, knife and a plate. By accident he ends up with a steak knife opposed to a butter one and as he rests it on the open top of the butter container as he waits for his toast to pop up, he can't stop staring at it. The sleek black handle and the blade he knows is razor sharp from that one time his mom had left him unattended to slice a ridiculously hard pumpkin. He's still got the faintest trace of scar on the inside of his thumb.

He stares so intensely that he jumps when his toast is ready, the click of the toaster as it resets and he's suddenly terrified to take it out, butter it because it'll involve picking up the knife. Sure he could grab another one, a properly blunt butter knife from the drawer just to his left but he just, he can't. He looks down at his hands and they're trembling and despite the heavy falling snow outside he feels way too warm.

It's the final straw.

Jack doesn't panic exactly but he's instantly in motion because he is not doing this. He's not. He bolts up to his room, tugs on a jacket, slides his phone into his pocket and grabs his ipod before he's back downstairs shoving his feet into his sneakers, ignoring the fact that he's still only in his light pyjama pants. He has to get out.

As he slams the front door closed behind him, Jack manages to pause long enough to put his headphones in his ears, doesn't care what he's listening to as long as it's loud enough to drown out the thoughts in his head before he marches down the front steps into the still falling snow.

He's trying not to think about how crazy this seems, running out into the weather but he doesn't want to be home alone, his mother won't return for a few hours yet and the idea of getting on a bus full of strangers right now would be too much.

Alex's house isn't that far away if he walks fast enough.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

By the time he makes it to Alex's street, Jack's freezing. The snows still falling and it's soaked through his clothes, the few panicky tears he'd shed frozen against his cheeks. He can feel people driving by staring at him, probably thinking he's some kind of crazy person.

He might be. He can't explain why he's going to Alex's, crossing the city like a madman but he so desperately doesn't want to be alone and he can't stop now, can't turn around and go back and pretend this never happened.

He has to fix things.


	66. Chapter 66

Jack hadn't been at school today and Alex hasn't heard from him since yesterday, the other boy not replying to his texts and honestly, he's worried.

He's hoping that he can convince his mom to drop him at Jack's when she returns from work but he keeps trying Jack's phone while he waits, idly flipping channels on the TV in his room.

A knock at the door draws him from the warm cocoon he's made for himself and Alex scrambles down the stairs, silently hoping it's Jack.

It is.

“Jesus, Jack!” Are the only words he can find as he pulls his boyfriend through the door because Jack's soaked, covered with snow and shivering and he's got this expression on his face Alex has never seen before.

“Did you walk here? In the snow?”

Jack nods.

“Are you okay?”

Jack shakes his head and Alex's stomach clenches because this isn't a Jack he's familiar with, he isn't sure what to do. He grabs Jack's snow covered arm.

“C'mon, come upstairs” He coaxes, tugs Jack behind him, upstairs into the bathroom, reaching to start running the shower. Jack needs to get warm because it's a good half hours walk between their houses and it's fucking freezing outside.

He watches Jack fumble with the buttons on his coat before he pushes the other boys shivering hands away, helping him shed all his clothes before nudging his cold body into the shower.

“I'll be back,” He says and Jack just stares at him, same expression as before.

Alex tries not to freak out too much, it's obvious something is wrong here, potentially very wrong but he knows the worst thing in the world if you're upset is people around you panicking so he tries to keep calm as he steps back into the now steam filled bathroom with dry clothes for Jack.

He's curled up, knees to his chest in the bottom of the shower, head low and Alex swears, all pretence of nonchalance given up as he flings the door open, gets drenched with water before he turns the taps off, kneels down beside Jack.

“Jack, Jack?” He rests a hand on Jack's trembling shoulder and he jumps, head snapping up to stare at Alex.

“What's wrong?” Alex says, pleading because he doesn't know

Jack draws a shuddery breath. “I,” He says, “I, everything” And then he's crying, head pressed against Alex's shoulder, wet hair soaking into his shirt.

“Hey no, it's alright, you're alright” Alex murmurs, turning to the words Rian's uttered to him countless times, tries not to let his voice waver because Jack crying is making him want to cry and he has to be the strong one.

Jack's head comes up again and his faces changes, finally, into something Alex's recognises. “I'm sorry, i'm so sorry Alex I love you”

“It's okay, just breathe, hold my hand if you want, I love you too”

Jack does, fingers clinging tightly to Alex's own and the water dripping off him turns cold before he stops shaking with tears.

“I'm making you wet” He says in this tiny voice, and Alex manages to relax little.

“There's towels on the rail, if you want me to get them” Alex says gently, doesn't want to pull away from Jack without his permission, make him more upset.

“Okay” Jack lets go of his hand.

Alex moves quickly, grabs a few of the large, fluffy towels from across the room and Jack manages to stand up and he immediately wraps the largest towel around Jack's body, puts an arm around his shoulders to coax him out of the shower itself and Jack stands there on shaky legs as Alex does his best to dry him, help him step into dry clothes.

Clothed and mostly dry, as Alex has a feeling Jack's not going to want him to grab the hair dryer, he leads the other boy back into his bedroom, pulling back his blankets and straightening the sheets a little because all he can really process is that Jack needs to be warm.

“Are you gonna be okay if I go make hot chocolate?” He finds himself asking because he's never felt so out of his depth before, and Alex suddenly realises just how good Jack's been to him when he's on the other side of things.

Jack nods and Alex leans down to place a soft kiss to his temple before heading to the kitchen, taking the stairs two at a time. Despite Jack's assurances, he doesn't want him to be alone for too long.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The moment Alex leaves, Jack wants to call him back because now he's not so focused on a destination, on the cold clawing it's way through his body, he has time to think about other things.

And sure, he knows Alex keeps his razors in a little elephant shaped container on the top shelf of the bathroom cabinet, or that there's scissors in drawer beside him, or even Alex's lancet resting on top of the drawers themselves, all plausible options to chase the itch under his skin and fuck, Jack needs to call Alex back.

Jack sits up, is about to swing his legs over the side of the bed again and for a moment his head clears enough to be disgusted with himself, because blades and scissors might be alright but the idea that he might be desperate enough to defile something that is Alex's alone is awful.

He stumbles down the stairs into the kitchen, Alex spinning around, surprised.

“Jack, is everything okay, did you want to sit down?”

Jack sits.

Alex's face is drawn and he looks like Jack feels, all wide eyed and frightened. He doesn't know how to explain himself.

“I don't want to” He whispers and now Alex is confused and Jack struggles to elaborate, rests his arms on the table, palms turned upwards.

“I don't want to Alex but I do and help me, please help me” He continues, and he can see the moment it clicks, the moment Alex understands and Jack lets go, curls his arms around himself again and cries, whether it's fear or relief he doesn't know.

Everything seems to blur together then, Alex's words comforting but shapeless and Jack feels himself being lifted and in the back of his mind he wants to protest but he can't, Alex is just so warm that he let's it happen, rests his head on Alex's chest and when Alex sits them down in his fathers armchair, Jack curls his limbs up and presses as close to the other boy as possible, soothed by Alex rocking him back and forth.

He doesn't fall asleep, he can't, not with his mind like this, but he can close his eyes and try to recapture the ground he's conceded.

There seems be an endless space of time Jack spends with only the sound of his heartbeat in his ears before Alex shifts his grip, pulls Jack impossibly closer against him, kisses the top of his head.

“I'm right here if you want to talk” He says softly, hand beginning to rub tiny circles on Jack's back and how, how on earth could he have ever doubted that Alex loves him for a minute, how?

Slowly, slowly, Jack manages to explain everything that's happened, today and before, voice his fears to Alex. He can see in the other boys eyes that he's frightened and Jack never wanted to scare him like this, can only hope that Alex will understand.

When he eventually trails off, run out of long, jumbled sentences in an attempt to convey how he feels, Alex's hand pauses in it's circling.

“Look at me” Alex says, and Jack hesitantly flicks his eyes to Alex's, not lifting his head.

“No, properly, I want you to look me in the eyes and listen, okay?” There's something soft in Alex's tone despite the almost command and Jack manages to do as asked. It could be the last time he's given the opportunity, after all.

“Jack, i'm in love with you because you're the most beautiful, amazing guy I know, inside and out and I don't want you to ever think that I want you to be someone different because you're not perfect but neither am I, that's why we're together, to fill in the cracks. I want to love you, not anyone else and it’s okay if you're scared because sometimes i'm fucking terrified that i'm going wake up and you won't be there as well, it's okay because we can talk about it, i'll hold you and you can hold me and we'll worry together. I'm not going anywhere, I promise.”


	67. Chapter 67

After that the two of them fall into an almost comfortable silence and Jack's heart hurts because Alex is so, so fucking good to him, can put into words what Jack can't and maybe Jack is beginning to understand that Alex protects him just as much as he protects Alex.

He shivers, and Alex's arms squeeze him a little tighter.

“So, how about that hot chocolate?”

Jack smiles. “Sounds good” he says asattempts to unfurl his limbs out of Alex's lap, except that the minute he stands up he nearly falls down again, limbs not quite willing to hold him up and he suddenly feels sick, the legitimate kind instead of just inside his head.

“Shit Jack are you okay?” Alex is more agile than Jack usually gives him credit for, lurching forward to to wrap his arms around Jack, pull him back into the armchair.

“M'fine, just feel sick” Jack mumbles, mildly concerned that if he speaks too loudly he might throw up and the last thing he wants to do is make Alex have to deal with that.

One of Alex's hands pushes his hair off his forehead, rests against for it moment,

“Well you're not that warm, you're not gonna throw up on me are you?” He asks and Jack adores the fact that Alex is trying to be casual about it because no doubt he's freaking out even more right now.

“I won't throw up” Jack says, and hopes that it'll be true. He's not entirely sure he's got anything to throw up.

“Can you try and stand up again so I can put you on the couch?”

Jack tries, Alex's hands warm against his back and okay, the second attempt is better, he manages to coerce his legs into holding him up, tries to ignore the sudden ache in his head.

He lets Alex manhandle him onto the couch so he can lie down and he's not sure if it's making him feel better or worse and he whines because his head being a mess he can deal with, but actual physical things frighten him a little.

Alex drapes a blanket across him and Jack curls his hand around the edge, pulls it against him before Alex kneels beside him, face close to Jack's own.

“Talk to me, how do you feel?” Alex's eyes are so soft and round up close and for a moment Jack feels all consumed by them, the way the soft lines in Alex's forehead are creased in worry.

He reaches to pat Alex on the head. “I'm fine, jus' dizzy, is all. And my head hurts.”

It seems kind of preposterous given the fact that not that long ago he was ready to tear apart his own skin, he's now complaining about a headache.

Alex makes a weird kind mhmm noise and his hand reappears on Jack's forehead and Jack can't help but manage a tiny smile because he's pretty sure that in the event that he did have a fever, it wouldn't have appeared since Alex checked a minute ago.

“Alex, i'm fine”

“Jack, you are not fine” Alex says, and then he pauses. “When did you last have something to eat?”

Uh. Jack takes a minute to rewind his day.

“Breakfast”

“Yesterday” He adds, and the lines on Alex's forehead deepen.

“Yesterday?” Alex sounds mildly exasperated and Jack closes his eyes because Alex's voice is louder now and his head doesn't hurt any less.

“I'll be back, sit tight” Alex says, and Jack feels a rush of air as Alex stands up and his footsteps fade away.

Yeah, Jack's not going anywhere. He feels even more guilty now because even though they've just talked about love and trust and being there for each other, he doesn't want to make Alex keep worrying about him, surely today has already been enough for him. Alex has been amazing but Jack knows that there's a limit to his strength and he doesn't want to push it.

He can hear clinking in the kitchen and dimly he wonders if Alex is actually making hot chocolate because he doesn't really want some.

Alex returns soon enough, not with hot chocolate but orange juice and crackers in a bowl and Jack's heart jumps because fuck, what if Alex has been low this whole time but he hadn't wanted to interrupt Jack's ramblings? He sits up, ignores the rush of dizziness.

“Are you okay?”

He's not expecting Alex to smile fondly before pushing the juice towards him.

“I'm fine Jack, this is for you”

Jack's confused and Alex reaches out to card his fingers through Jack's hair. “You'll feel better if you eat something and if not i'll grab you some painkillers okay, but humour me first”

“But I don't want to” Jack says, tone bordering on a whine almost because he isn't hungry and he doesn't want the tartness of orange juice on his tongue.

Alex smiles again. “Welcome to my world” 

Jack takes the glass from his hand. He's able to make that choice, after all.

Alex is right though, Jack does feel better once he stops thinking about how disgusting orange juice with pulp in it is.

Alex continues to be amazing for the remainder of the afternoon, makes Jack call his mom so she's not worried about the abandoned breakfast on the counter and arranges for her to come pick them up a little later, refusing to let Jack convince him that he's fine to go home by himself.

They relocate to Alex's room once his parents come home, Jack tucked back into Alex's bed, finally persuaded to have that hot chocolate while they watch some cooking show.

“Hey” Jack says quietly.

“Yeah?” Alex's eyes leave the screen to look at him.

“Thanks for you know, fixing me” Jack's not entirely sure he's fixed completely, but Alex has taken the faded sticky tape he'd been using to hold himself together and replaced it with something stronger. Maybe duct tape.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Things don't magically get better after that, no matter how Jack wishes he was living in a Disney movie.

They do get better though, he sits down with his mother and talks to her about things and together they decide that maybe he could pick up talking to someone again, just once a month or so. Alex is by his side the entire time, comforting hand on his knee, suggests the guy he usually talks to and well, if Alex trusts him, that's enough for Jack to agree.

Both Rian and Zack seem relieved that Jack's no longer having an existential crisis of sorts and one afternoon after another delightful 'band practice' Rian pulls him into a hug and Jack's not sure how he's gone this long without experiencing a Rian hug. It's like being held by a bear. A warm, cuddly, smells like pine trees for some bizarre reason bear.

So, it stands to reason that Rian is the one who made Jack sick. Logically, Jack knows that there's been a cold come flu virus of death going around the school and statistically someone in their little group was going to catch it, not to mention his trek out into the snow last week but fuck it, Rian is a germ carrying motherfucker.

It's not even the good kind of sick where you get to stay home and have soup and ice cream and watch movies snuggled into a nest of blankets and tissues. Nope.

Yes, Jack is at home, he did have soup, but he threw it up. He also had ice cream, and threw that up as well. His head hurts too much to focus on the TV to watch movies and whilst he’s in his bed, his mom’s banned all the blankets bar one measly sheet because apparently he's got a fever. He does have a mountain of tissues though.

“Mom?” He whines raspily, because his throat hurts. Well, everything hurts, but his throat is at the top of his list right now. He likes to swallow without the sensation of being stabbed by tiny little germ-people with swords.

His mother appears in the doorway, a sort of sixth sense that mothers must have because Jack didn't call that loudly, stepping across the room and coming to stand beside him, straightening the lone sheet just a little.

“I'm cold”

His mother smiles wryly at him and Jack could cry because he's sick it's not amusing but the the idea of crying just seems like too much effort. He settles for pouting instead.

“Honey, when your fever comes down you can have more blankets, until then just try and sleep, alright?”

Jack keeps forgetting that is mother is just as stubborn as he is.

“Will you check again?”

His mother sighs but obliges, reaching for the thermometer on Jack's bedside table and Jack opens his mouth obediently. He's been sick for like, two days, surely he can have a blanket now, surely.

His mother shakes her head, “Not yet sweetheart, i'm sorry”

Jack rolls over and attempts to suffocate himself with his pillow.

The worst part about being sick, beyond the whole being reasonably sure he's dying and the delightful moment in which you realise that you've managed to get vomit on yourself, is that he's alone. Jack's not going to be the one to get Alex sick but he misses the other boy ridiculously much, thinks that he'd get better a lot quicker if he had someone to snuggle with, body warmth to steal.

But no, he's stuck in his bed with his tissues and his one fucking sheet.

He summons the energy to text Rian yet another death threat.


	68. Chapter 68

By the time Jack's gotten both his motivation to move and his blankets back, he's missed nearly a week of school. And a week of Alex. They'd resorted to Skype in the end, despite Jack's protests that his sick face isn't really acceptable for transmission through the internet it's worth it to see Alex through the screen, telling stupid him jokes and blowing kisses. He's still got an awesome cough happening but he's consumed enough cough medicine that it's doubtful he's contagious any more.

Today, Jack's going to see his Alex again. It feels weird, calling Alex his, but it's true so why the hell not. He hasn't told Alex, wants to surprise him as he steps off the bus.

Except when Alex's bus pulls up at the school gates, Alex isn't there. Jack frowns, disappointed. He quickly jogs across the crisp snow to the halls to find Rian because maybe Alex had turned up early but Rian hasn't seen him either. He also kicks Rian in the shin because hello, germ carrier.

Jack pulls out his phone because fuck, if he's made the effort to come to school on a Friday, Alex should be here as well.

Why aren't you at school you asshole D: - Jack

I need you to warm me – Jack

Alex's reply takes a few minutes and Jack's just sitting down in home room when it comes through.

We've decided that Rian's the mutant bringer of germs yes? - Alex

Jack blinks, rereads the text and then promptly leans over to smack Rian in the back of the head because Alex cannot be sick. 

“Hey! What was that for?” Rian whines, rubbing at his head.

“You might've made Alex sick” Jack says, because he's not entirely sure yet, Alex's message wasn't that specific but that could just be Jack trying to hold onto the little hope he has that Alex is just fine.

“I did not, that's not how contagious illness work you dick” Rian protests but Jack sees him reach for his phone anyway.

Please don't tell me you've caught the plague D: - Jack

I'm working on it – Alex

Well un-work on it! - Jack

Jack's not beyond thinking that maybe if all of them wish hard enough, Alex will get un-sick, however impractical it might be.

I'm trying! :P I'm gonna go back to sleep – do not come over later because i'm sure it's mutated and I don't want you to be sick again, love you <3 – Alex

Love you too, you contagious freak – Jack

Jack tries not to worry, it's a common coldy-fluy thing, not the actual plague. But he's read enough to know that getting sick can, in layman’s terms, completely fuck Alex over without consideration if it wants to and he likes proper, healthy Alex who is able to hang out with him.

If Alex is sick for a week, that'll make a fortnight without seeing each other and that's way too long. Maybe he can watch Alex from his window like a creeper.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After schools over Jack finds himself in a three way text war that mainly contains Alex coming up with a variety of creative death threats for Rian and assuring Jack that's he's not on his deathbed just yet. Jack's amazed at Alex's creativity, while he'd just threatened to kill Rian, Alex is much more specific, down to nitty gritty gory details. He should probably stop letting Alex watch so much Criminal Minds.

When he sits down for dinner his mother fixes him with a worried look.

“You look a bit peaky, you're not pretending not be sick just so you can hang out with Alex are you?”

Jack shakes his head, “I'm fine, Alex is getting sick though”

His mother reaches over to pat his shoulder. “I'm sure he'll be just fine, as long as he doesn't take after you in the whininess department”

“I was dying!” Jack protests, and his mothers laughs.

“Of course you were”

Jack was.

Jack wonders what sick-Alex is like. If he's half as sassy as his texts suggest, Isobel will definitely have her hands full. Because Jack might be stubborn, but he knows that Alex operates on a completely new level.

He texts Alex goodnight earlier than usual, so if he falls asleep Jack won't wake him, doesn't get a reply. He tries not to worry because most likely Alex is sleeping. Jack hadn't felt up to spending a lot of time staring at the brightness of his phone screen either.

Jack tosses and turns for what feels like hours, getting up to down more cough syrup in an attempt to lure himself to sleep. He misses having Alex snuggled up beside him.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's weird to have a Saturday morning in which he's alone and can sleep in as long as he wants. He kind of misses Alex's routine, which sounds completely fucked up but it's reliable and Jack likes reliable.

He comes up with some creative death threats of his own, sends them to Rian intermittently until just before lunch he gets a message from Zack asking him to cut it out or he might find himself outside lacking clothes. Jack stops, because Zack Merrick is capable of many things.

Jack spends most of the day lounging around the house, wearing his snuggie. He does manage to tidy his room a little because sick Jack is liable to leave things lying and there's no excuse to have little mountains of dirty clothes everywhere when he's got a perfectly good basket for them to go in.

Alex doesn't text him again and Jack's a little concerned but hey, it's a fucking cold, Alex is probably curled up in his bed bitching at his mom like a proper human.

It's not until later on in the evening, clock hands pushing towards eleven and Jack's being very grown up and in the living room with his mother, both of them immersed in the books they're reading (Although the small mountain of music magazines Jack's got might not be 'books' exactly) that their house phone rings.

Which is odd, because no one really calls their house bar telemarketers and some of his mothers old friends who prefer to catch her at home.

His mother gets up to answer it and Jack tunes out, goes back to reading about Mark Hoppus discussing how choking on a lollipop has influenced their new single. The important stuff in life.

“Jack, can you come in here please?”

Jack frowns, because if he's required to get up it could be like, his grandmother on the phone and as much as Jack likes her, she can and will talk his ear off. But why would his grandmother be calling so late?

Jack nudges the blanket off his lap, skulks into the hall where the phone is.

“Yeah?”

“Don't panic,” Is the first thing his mother says and of course Jack's first thought is Alex. Somethings wrong. And he panics.

“Is that Alex is he okay, he's okay right?” He starts babbling until his mother holds up a hand and points to the phone she's still holding and Jack manages to shut himself up.

“Isobel and Peter are going to take Alex up to the hospital,” She starts and Jack's entire body shivers with an illusion of cold because fuck, something really is wrong.

“It's not an emergency, they're just being careful Jack, he's okay, but Isobel says he'd like you to come, and they'll drop past here to get you on the way if you want”

Jack's suddenly kind of hysterical. Alex is sick. Alex is going the hospital. That is the very definition of not being okay, why the fuck would his mother say that does she think he's stupid?

But yelling at his mom won't help, so Jack manages a croaky “Of course I want to fucking go” and his mother doesn't even blink at his language for once, merely carries on talking with presumably Isobel and Jack wants to pull the phone from her, demand that he get to talk to Alex right now but despite his panic he's managing to hold onto a little bit of common sense.

He runs upstairs to change out of his pyjamas, find a clean hoodie and rushes back downstairs again to stand in front of the living room window, pulls the curtains back just enough so that he can see the street outside, mind a constant thrum of AlexAlexAlex.

When the Gaskarth's car pulls up outside his house, not even turning into their driveway, Jack manages to pull his mother in a split second hug before he throws himself out the front door.

When he slides into the back seat beside Alex, Jack makes a weird kind of strangled noise. Alex looks completely and utterly miserable, clad in a grey shirt that's drenched with sweat and his fringe stuck wetly to his head as he sits curled over a hideously bright red bucket.

He lifts his head and he's a ghostly shade of white, but he manges an almost eerie kind of smile. “Hi, I'm fine” He announces raspily and there's no trace of the sassy Alex Jack was expecting, just a resigned kind of tone that implies Alex isn't letting on how he really feels.

Jack casts a glance to Isobel in the rear-view mirror. “It's just precautionary, he can't keep anything down so it's better we take him so they can keep an eye on him, but he was insistent that we ask you to come and if it keeps it him calm, we're happy to have you”

Isobel knows Jack too well really, and Jack's thankful for the reassurance that they're happy to have him here because as upset and worried as he is, she's Alex's mother and it must hurt her to see her son like this, that she's willing to let Jack be a part of their family.

And Alex wanted him. It's the only thought that really sticks in his mind as they drive through the night, Alex wants him to be here, was gonna put up a fight if he wasn't. He's not sure whether to try and hold Alex or not since he's definitely running a fever, but he looks so pitiful that Jack can't help but push a few wet strands of hair from his forehead.

“I'm fine” Alex rasps again.

Jack is entirely unconvinced.


	69. Chapter 69

Precautionary seems to mean that him and Peter end up relegated to a waiting room after Alex is whisked away and Isobel has been recruited for insurance paperwork at a nearby counter of sorts. A backpack of Alex's rests at their feet, and it makes Jack feel an eeny weeny bit better to know that there weren't in such a rush that they had time to pack some stuff.

Jack would like to say he's recovered a little from his internal hysteria but honestly, he's not entirely sure how he'd managed to not cling to Alex's leg and demand he was allowed to go with him.

It's a little off putting how calm everyone seems to be but then again he's probably the only one here who isn't entirely sure what’s going on or how to deal with it.

The bright, colourful pictures on the walls seem a contrast to the screaming child he can hear somewhere down the hall.

They wait for what feels like forever, Isobel returning to sit with them, patting Jack on the shoulder as she moves to sit next to her husband. He should be comforting her he thinks, not the other way round.

Jack tries to break monotony of terror by texting Rian.

Help Alex is in hospital what do I do help – Jack

It seems kind of ridiculous that Alex is the sick one and yet Jack's asking for help but fuck it, Rian's Alex's best friend, knows that Jack is often wading in uncertainty.

Are you there? - Rian

Waiting room – Jack

He's probably just dehydrated and on a roller coaster right now, don't panic, just be there and hold his hand or stroke his hair, he likes when people are right there with him – Rian

Seriously he'll be okay I know u don't believe me but try and relax okay - Rian

Yeah no, Rian isn't all that calming this time around.

Finally, finally, they're shown to Alex's room.

The rooms kind of dim and it takes Jack a moment to remember that it's the middle of the night and Alex has the room to himself and just, Alex. He looks so impossibly tiny, clad in nothing but his pyjama pants now, drips connected to a hand that's curled around one of those plastic sick bags Jack usually associates with air planes. There's a cool pack resting across his forehead and Jack finds himself frozen, just watches as Isobel drags one of those hard, plastic chairs across to one side of the bed, smiles gently at her son while Peter grabs a chair of his own. Alex's pump site, which Jack generally thinks of as an 'Alex thing', suddenly seems much more of a medical thing.

Eventually Alex seems to realise he's not there and glazed eyes land on Jack's own and Jack finds himself able to move again, take his spot on the other side of Alex's bed.

“Hi” He whispers, not sure what he's supposed to do or say, reaches for Alex's free hand, runs his thumb over Alex's knuckles.

“Hi” Alex croaks.

“I'm fine” He adds, after a tiny pause.

“Alex,” Jack says, voice a little more firm. “If you don't stop saying that i'm going smack you”

He realises a split second too late that maybe he shouldn't be threatening his hospitalised boyfriend in front of his parents but when he looks up Peter just gives him one of those fatherly shrugs that Jack interprets to be whatever you think'll help.

Alex's eyes fall shut for a long moment then and Jack squeezes his hand before they open again and Alex shifts his head towards his mom.

“Where's Baz?”

Jack doesn't know who or what a 'baz' is, but he kinds of hopes Alex isn't having some kind of weird hallucination that is making him forget Jack isn't his boyfriend or something.

Isobel sighs, “Alex, aren't you getting a little too old for him?”

Alex does a very, very good job at making an even more pitiful expression than he already is.

“Please?”

Peter starts digging through Alex's backpack and Jack watches on, curious.

The last thing he's expecting 'Baz' to be is a dog. A little red and white plush dog that Alex makes a raspy kind of chirpy noise at when he sees it, hand relinquishing it's grip on the sick bag to reach for it.

Jack can't help but smile, because Alex's eyes are suddenly brighter and he seems content as he clutches the toy, pats it clumsily on the head.

The plush looks like it's seen better days, patches of fur probably loved right off it's tiny body, a smudge of blue paint or something splattered across an ear. It's got a tiny red collar with tag too, but Jack can't make out the words he can see just see are engraved on it.

He didn't think Alex was a stuffed animal kind of guy, he's not got any in his room and Jack's been pretty much everywhere in his house and nothing.

But Jack understands wanting something to comfort you and the mental image of a much younger Alex clinging to his favourite toy in a setting much like this one makes his heart hurt.

Nurses flit in and out of the room, poking and prodding at Alex, medical jargon flying around at a speed Jack's given up on trying to understand but the gist of seems to suggest that Alex is both dehydrated and really fucking high. They leave a jug of orange drink with instructions for Alex to drink as much of as it as he can but judging by the look on Alex's face as he sips at his plastic cup, it might not taste entirely of orange.

Jack's taken to a horribly uncomfortable plastic chair of his own, as close to Alex as he can without being in anyones way, close enough that when Alex is done with his drink for now, he can reach out a hand to pat Jack's head and Jack tries to project a calming vibe because he knows that Alex is probably worrying more about him than himself.

The three of them in an almost silent vigil around Alex, who keeps interrupting their silence with bouts of awful, rattling coughs that send Jack's heart rate dangerously high every single time and Jack's still got a grip on Alex's hand, might just be nodding off into a weird dazed kind of nap when the scrape of a chair startles him awake.

“Alexander sweetheart, we're gonna drop your dad home and then i'll be right back alright?” Isobel says, leaning over Alex's bed.

“You should go to bed” Alex says quietly, “Come back in the morning, be fine”

“I'm not going to leave you here alone”

“M'not gonna be alone, Jack's here” Alex turns toward him, as to reassure himself that Jack's still there. Jack's not going anywhere.

“I know he is, but he's not your mother, and I should be here for you”

Alex coughs again, and Jack rubs gentle circles on the back of his hand.

“Mom, i'm not going anywhere and nothing bad can happen and it would make me feel better if you got some sleep because you know i'll be here all day tomorrow”

Isobel looks to her husband with a pleading expression and Jack feels bad suddenly because Alex is pretty much attempting to kick them out, just have Jack by his side. He goes to speak, try and and talk some sense into Alex but Peter beats him to it.

“He's right you know, we can go home, catch some sleep and back in the morning, he's almost grown up now, and Jack's not going to leave his side. He'll be alright.”

Isobel looks unconvinced.

Alex sits up then and everyones gaze shifts to him, the coolpack falling into his lap as he reaches his arms out for his mother, whispers something Jack doesn't catch in her ear and they hold each other for a long time before Isobel pulls back, turns to nod at him.

“You'll keep on eye on him for me won't you, if I come back in the morning?”

“You know I will”

That's that then really, Isobel kissing the top of Alex's head as she replaces the cool pack, tells him to behave himself and then suddenly they're gone and Jack is alone with Alex.

In the hospital. In the middle of the night. Or morning. Jack doesn't know what time it is.

Alex doesn't talk much after that, just coughs and shifts restlessly, obediently sips from the cup of not-exactly orange drink Jack attempts to offer him on a regular basis, complies with the nurses that continue to come and go and Jack doesn't like this Alex, so drained of his usual personality.

Jack follows Rian's advice, steals Isobels chair on the other side of the bed so he can be closer to him, cards his fingers through Alex's damp, matted fringe, setting it back away from his forehead, Alex's skin freakishly warm compared to the cool gel resting on it.

“Go to sleep” He finds himself whispering, “You'll feel better when you wake up” It's something mothers say he knows but it seems right and Alex just kind of hums and uses his other hand to reach for Jack's and Jack panics momentarily because there's IV tubes coming out of that hand and he doesn't want to to hurt Alex, but Alex is one step ahead of him, even in sickness.

“S'fine, you won't hurt me” He says, and Jack takes his hand, kisses Alex's nose and tries to will him better.

Time seems to stop existing once Alex finally falls asleep, on his back but still somehow sideways, the little plush dog held tight in his other hand.

He looks peaceful, innocent.


	70. Chapter 70

As a child, Alex hated hospitals. They were always too loud, too bright, too big and he'd never go without a fight, kicking and screaming and crying because going to hospital always meant people pretending to be nice while they poked and prodded at him, his mothers face set into a grim expression.

It's part of the reason he's got Baz – or Sebastian, apparently someone, somewhere had come up with the brilliant concept of giving sick kids toys under the guise of a reward for being model patients. And in Alex's case, he was easily swayed.

It's one of his mothers favourite stories to tell, if a person can have a favourite story about their son being sick, how he'd been an absolute terror that day, stubbornly refusing to let even the sweetest of nurses or the firmest of doctors anywhere near him with his insulin and in the downtime when they were attempting to round up a few extra pairs of hands to hold him still one of the volunteers had appeared with a basket of stuffed animals and as soon as Alex laid on eyes on the furry toy she was holding out to him, he was quiet. And after that, as long as he had his toy, he was indeed a model patient.

For a long time Alex had dragged Baz to every single appointment, clung to him every time his parents approached him with a syringe, slept with him resting on his bedside table every night.

Even now, when Alex is supposed to on the cusp on being all grown up he likes to have Baz with him. His mother thinks it's childish but Alex knows that she'll always bring him along just in case he goes back to his hysterical childhood ways of terror even though it's been years and years.

Of course, Baz still hasn't really changed Alex's opinion of hospitals. They're still too loud and too bright, although now that he's older there's a lot less distractions and more of a 'yup, this is probably gonna hurt' approach to things. But as he's grown Alex has an appreciation for them all the same, even if he'd prefer to avoid them if at all possible.

Technically, being sick and on a roller coaster of fun isn't necessarily grounds for ending up in hospital – it's just that a few years ago he'd had a cold and his mother had gone to work and come back find him passed out in the bathroom and well, he can't really blame her for wanting to err on the side of caution. If spending a few hours being poked and prodded by strangers is going to help her not be so stressed out every time he coughs, Alex is willing to compromise.

Which brings him to now, as he tries to leech as much warmth from Baz's furry body as he can because he's fucking freezing. Well he's not, because he's all sweaty and gross and the nurse that took his temperature an hour ago informed him that he still most definitely does have a fever although it's dropped considerably and therefore he knows that he needs to be cool, but still. He would very much like to feel warm.

Jack's fallen asleep, finally, head mashed into the side of Alex's bed and Alex desperately wishes they could snuggle because Jack's been sick and they haven't been together in ages and his misses his boyfriend, okay.

The old-style clock on the wall informs him that it's nearly six in the morning and Alex supposes that if there was a window, he'd be able to see the sun just about to poke it's head over the city skyline.

The good news, or at least as good as Alex can consider it to be, is that he hasn't thrown up since he got here, which means hopefully, because assuming outright is asking for trouble, that his body's attempting to set things right side up. Alex has a tendency to go high when he's sick, even if he adjusts his insulin like a madman, even if it's not the feverish and throwing up kind of sickness. It's shit, but at least it's kind of predictable. That's the small comfort Alex takes in it, anyway.

Of course, the slightly less good news is that he's also got a tendency to swing the other way as soon as he feels moderately better so who fucking knows what his numbers are right now. It's difficult for him to tell where feeling sick because he's actually sick ends and potential blood sugar symptoms start.

His meters probably across the room in his backpack and Alex lacks the energy to wake Jack to fetch it. A nurse will be around soon enough to test him with their hospital standard one again anyway, so there's not really any point in doing it twice.

Alex reaches to stroke a hand through Jacks hair, which is soft and warm and pretty damn tangle free despite how much of a birds nest it looks. It's nice to just have Jack for company because as much as Alex loves his parents they can be a little overbearing sometimes and he feels bad making them loose sleep or not go to work and do normal human things because of him.

He just wants to go home and curl up in bed with Jack and Baz, sleep indefinitely.


	71. Chapter 71

By the time Alex's fever has finally broken and he's had to endure the weird, lumpy masses that is hospital 'food' for both breakfast and lunch and been poked and prodded to everyone's satisfaction, it's late afternoon and Jack's exhausted.

Not that he's complaining, of course, he's not the sick one. Just, all he wants to do is give Alex a hug and as much as he wants to, he probably shouldn't. Also, Alex's demeanour has become steadily grumpier as the days progressed and Jack doesn't want to be rejected.

The up side though is that Isobel's somewhere else in the ward, signing the necessary paperwork to set Alex free.

His boyfriends been whisked off to the shower, despite his red-faced assurances that he wasn't going to require assistance from the bottle blonde nurse who's got be at least three times their age and Jack's taken taken to sitting on the hospital bed trying to resist the urge to rest his head on the pillow and take a power nap.

His tired eyes settle on Alex's dog, Baz, which frankly, Jack's been finding more adorable as the days worn on, having found a sleeping Alex curled up with him this morning. He picks the toy up, brushes one of the remaining tufts of fur back down, runs his fingers across a soft, hairless ear.

He remembers the tag and flips over the worn piece of metal to find Alex's name, his full name, and that Alex's middle name is William makes Jack smile endlessly because his boyfriend has the fanciest name he's ever heard. Alexander William Gaskarth. There's a date too and it's not Alex's birthday and it's not Christmas and well, Jack's not sure what it means. The date is set a few months from now, the end of February but Alex would've been what, eight at the time?

And then Jack knows what the dates for. A diagnosis date. Baz must've been a gift or something. Jack strokes the plush again, imagines all the places the tiny toy has been, all the memories Alex must have with it. He wants to hold Alex more than ever.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

By the time they're finally leaving the hospital Alex isn't in a particularly good mood. He's trying though, Jack can see the way his hands clench against his jeans and set of his jaw. He's not sure if Alex even knows why he's angry.

It makes Jack hesitant because he doesn't want to upset Alex and as Isobel unlocks her car for them to get in he sits by the window in the back seat, giving Alex the opportunity to sit as far away from him as he wants.

He doesn't though and Jack's mildly surprised as Alex slides into the middle seat, buckling his seatbelt and pressing himself against Jack, resting his head on his shoulder, hands wedging themselves inside Jack's hoodie pocket as he sniffs miserably.

Jack leans to press a quick kiss to the tops of Alex's head, not willing to push his luck just yet.

At the house, Jack accompanying them because there's no way he's going to leave Alex alone unless he has to he helps Isobel tuck Alex into his bed – not too many blankets though, because Alex isn't entirely un-sick, sets Baz on Alex's bedside table.

Isobel strokes Alex's hair, before she turns to Jack with a soft smile.

“I'll call you down for dinner about seven, try to keep him out of trouble till then”

Alex's hand appears above the covers to flip them off and Isobel laughs as she leaves, Alex's bedroom door clicking shut behind her.

Jack stands awkwardly by Alex's bed for a moment before figuring what the hell, he's tired and needs a nap as well. He ditches his jacket, shoes and socks and creeps around to the other side of the bed, tries to pull the blankets back as slowly and gently as he can.

Alex rolls over, fixes bleary eyes on him before he holds out his arms.

“I don't care if i'm sick I want snuggles” He says, and Jack's heart melts in an entirely new way as he clambers in beside Alex, pulling the other boy against his chest, lacing their fingers together.

Alex groans and Jack tenses, “Are you okay, am I hurting you?”

Alex laughs, voice a little rough but it's the first laugh Jack's heard in three days and he's missed it more than he realised.

“Hold me tighter, you moron” Alex says, and then “I love you, you know that?”

Jack tightens his arms, “I know, and I love you but if you ever, ever get sick again i'm going to kill you, you know that?”

Alex laughs again, this time interrupted by a yawn that Jack's quick to mirror.

“Sleep first, kill later” He mumbles, and Jack agrees.

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While Alex gets to spend Monday at home trying to shake the last of his illness through Isobel's liberal applications of cough mixture and soup, Jack has to go to school.

Rian pulls him into a hug when he shows up at his locker first thing and Jack hugs back and it's like the conversations Rian and Zack have with their eyebrows that him and Rian can do with hugs. Like a thanks for being there for Alex, no problem he's my boyfriend and I love him, you two are ridiculous you knows that, yes, and you love it.

During first period math Jack completes all his work in a quick and efficient manner and decides that his spare time would be better filled with annoying Alex.

Heyy what are you doing math is boring D: - Jack

You're a slut for math you math slut – Alex

Jack very nearly gets his phone confiscated because he's laughing so hard. Alex is clearly nearly back to his old self.

At lunch, which Jack spends half of sitting alone and wondering where the fuck Rian and Zack have gone and also hoping they’ve not decided to have a quickie in the bathroom because ew, germs. They do reappear eventually and Zack hands him a plain white envelope.

Jack raises an eyebrow, fingers going for the stuck-down seam.

“Don't open it till you get home” Rian says, “It's supposed to be a surprise”

Jack is kind of awful at surprises. And one that he's in charge of? It's going to be a very long afternoon. Very long.

Maybe he can peek inside if he distracts them.

“Don't try to distract us, we'll know if you open it”

Damn it.


	72. Chapter 72

For the remainder of the afternoon Jack tries to channel all of his limited patience into not opening the envelope. He puts it in his bag, all the way at the bottom and does his best to pretend it doesn't exist.

The minute he steps onto his driveway though, he's slinging his bag onto the ground and digging it back out again, trying to be careful not to tear what's inside with his frantic fingers. He's not sure what it could be, but Zack and Rian had seemed pretty happy about it so it's probably not anything bad.

That's the most worrying thing.

Jack's first thought is no. No. Absolutely not. No fucking way.

Inside, there's two tickets to the Baltimore Heights Annual End of School Year Dance.

Jack does not dance. He does not go to dances. (Slow dancing with Alex at the lookout was a one time thing, okay) He also most definitely does not dress 'fancy' or 'classy'.

Just no.

Obviously the implication is that he's supposed to take Alex. Does Alex like going to dances? Presumably yes. Fuck.

Jack flips the bright gaudy pink tickets over in his hands. Can they really go to a dance as a couple? The kids at their school generally seem to be okay with them but he's not sure their acceptance is going to last once it becomes apparent that they're well, official.

It's not like Jack would ever deny Alex anything, he's just a little, maybe hesitant is the word. Apart from his father, no ones ever had a problem with them, but still, it's now a weird concern lingering thing in the back of his mind.

So Jack does what every teenage boy does when faced with a dilemma, he goes to find his mother.

“Mom, can I take Alex to the end of year dance?”

His mother pauses in her stirring and fixes him with an amused look.

“Are you asking because you want me to say no? “

Dammit. “No...maybe, I don't know how to dance!”

“Jack, you can dance just fine”

Jack probably doesn't give his mother enough credit for being so intuitive.

“What's the real issue Jack? You're not worried Alex won't want to go with you are you? Does he not want to go?”

Jack shakes his head “I haven't asked him yet but Rian and Zack gave me the tickets so, I guess i'm just worried that people won't like us going?”

“Honey, if anyones got something to say you can send them to me. Or send Alex, he seems to have a knack for for that”

“But-”

“Jack, every single boy in your year is going to be worrying about impressing their own dates, they're hardly going to pay attention to you and Alex. Not if they want to get lucky anyway, hey?”

“Mo-om”

Jack always feels kind of weird when his mother comes even remotely near the topic of sex. It's just uh, she's his mother. But she does have a point.

And well, Jack's down for getting lucky.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jack decides not to mention the tickets to Alex until he sees him the next day after school, the other boy having another day off and even though Jack suspects he totally could have come today he's not going to begrudge him one more day even if he misses him like crazy.

Jack's making his way up the Gaskarth's driveway and is just about to press the doorbell when the door flies open and his vision goes dark as he's attacked by a ball of overly enthusiastic Alex, the other boy pulling him into a bonecrushing hug before he pulls back and smacks a wet kiss on Jack's cheek.

“Hi” Alex says, their faces inches apart.

Jack closes the distance and gives Alex a proper kiss, “Hi” He greets.

“Missed me?”

“Not really”

Alex swats at him and Jack pinches his ass.

“Hey!” Alex yelps, before he slides his hand into Jack's. “C'mon, I want you in my bed”

Jack agrees.

Fortunately neither of Alex's parents are home as Alex drags him upstairs, clicking his door shut as he pushes Jack down onto his bed before crawling over him, pressing their bodies together.

“I guess you're feeling better then” Jack laughs as Alex discards his hoodie and then reaches for Jack's own.

“If someone so much as mentions the word bed rest to me again i'm going to scream” Alex breathes in his ear, and then; “God, there's so many things I want to do to you”

In reality, so many things turns out to be mutual hand jobs and messy making out because they can't wait, too starved for each others touch and Jack really, really doesn't want Isobel to come home and walk in on them. It's good though and Jack's mind is blissfully clear as Alex discards the tissues they'd used to clean themselves up.

It's not until Alex clambers into the bed under the covers beside him, snuggles up to his side and Jack tugs him closer, that he remembers that he did have an actual purpose to his visit.

“Lex?”

Alex hmms in response and Jack snorts because Alex might not be as opposed to more rest as he says he is.

“Any chance you want to be my date to the dance?”

Alex stiffens beside him, propping himself up on one elbow so he can fix Jack with a serious expression and fuck, maybe Rian's done this as a joke or something.

“Well,” Alex says seriously, before he breaks into a bright smile. “There's every chance that I might say yes if I was asked properly”

Jack raises an eyebrow? “What?”

Alex laughs, “Ask me properly, you dick”

Jack sits up and makes a show of pretending to straighten his shirt and slick back his hair as he prepares to put forth his very best British accent.

“Alexander William Gaskarth, will you do me the honour of being my date to the end of year dance?”

Alex manages to keep a straight face for all of three seconds before he bursts out into cackling laughter. “Your invitation is accepted, kind sir” He replies, and they seal the deal with a kiss.

When they head down for dinner, Isobel is suitably thrilled that they're going and of course conspires with Jack's mom to make sure their suits are going to compliment each others and clearly neither of them have realised that Jack looks like some kind of awkward alien in a suit but hopefully Alex will be so hot that no one will pay attention to Jack.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Suit shopping with Alex is simultaneously the best and worst thing ever. Isobel had dropped them off with a list of stores to try and another list of exactly what they needed but beyond that they've been left to their own devices.

Which would be fine if they could decide on a colour for their uh, whatever the manly word for accessories is. He thinks it's adorable that Alex wants them to match but he'd like to actually leave the store before it gets dark.

Alex is by the tie rack and he's been there for the last ten minutes, Jack vetoing all of his colour choices so far. He's not wearing purple or orange or red or pea green. Or beige. Beige is disgusting.

“What about this one?” Alex says for the millionth time, and Jack looks up, half-expecting to see a Christmas tree pattern or something.

“Blue Alex, really?”

“It's not blue, it's periwinkle!” Alex says defensively and with the way he's got his hand resting on his hip as he pouts Jack starts laughing and can't stop.

“It's not blue, it's periwinkle!” He titters in a near perfect imitation of Alex's voice and Alex smacks him upside the head.

“If you don't shut up and at least try it on periwinkle will the only winkle i'm touching for a while” Alex threatens and then they're both laughing, tears running down their cheeks and Jack's quite sure everyone else in the store is concerned for their sanity.

It's not an awful shade of blue, really.


	73. Chapter 73

The rest of the week passes in a blur and by the time the big night arrives Jack's worked himself up into a state, nervous and worried and also kind of excited but mostly nervous. In the car he straightens his tie for the millionth time, tries once more to coax his hair into an orderly state.

He doesn't want to disappoint Alex who's been counting down the days, insisting that they're going to have an awesome time, that it's less of a dance and more of a casual atmosphere but Jack's still worried about what might be said. He's been doing his best to keep it to himself though, hoping that maybe they'll be able to hide behind Zack and Rian or something.

Jack turns to picking invisible pieces of lint out of his suit, tries not to knock the flower he's got pinned into his pocket. It'd been his moms idea, that he and Alex have matching pocket flowers, that Jack could give one to Alex in lieu of a corsage which she'd tried to explain but Jack hadn't really been listening, too worried about the possibilities of stabbing Alex as he tries to attach the pin.

The flowers are nice though, fake and dyed a periwinkle blue because his mother is smart enough to know that between the two of them, real flowers would last all of five minutes.

As they pull into the Gaskarth's drive Jack can see Alex and Isobel on the lawn and he stifles a laugh because Alex is being manhandled under a tree as his mother wields a camera and Jack straightens his tie once more before stepping out of the car.

Alex looks absolutely fucking gorgeous in a suit it turns out, the periwinkle blue an excellent colour choice, his suit a a dark patterned grey and shoes so shiny that if he leaned down, Jack could probably see his reflection in them.

He tries to not to grimace at the fact that his mother and Isobel are both grinning madly, waving their cameras at each other.

Alex approaches, a broad smile on his face, “You know our moms are going to want a million cute pictures right”

Jack's kind of speechless because now Alex is closer he just looks more beautiful and Jack really, really wants to kiss him senseless right now. But he manages to just go for a hug and a quick peck of the lips, sliding his hands under Alex's jacket to wrap around his waist and he rests his chin on Alex's shoulder and jesus, Alex even smells gorgeous.

“Jack, are you sniffing me? Seriously?”

Jack pulls back, can feel a blush spreading across his cheeks, “Maybe” He admits, and Alex laughs. “You look adorable, by the way”

Jack pouts, “I'm supposed to be the epitome of sexy”

Over Alex's shoulder, Jack can see his mom doing some kind of weird interpretive dance with a lot of pointing and oh, yeah.

He coughs awkwardly, taking a step back and holding out the flower pin out Alex, “I'm uh, supposed to give you this” He says and this is possibly the least romantic thing ever and he's just waiting for Alex to burst out laughing but the other boy doesn't, instead he looks genuinely surprised and as Jack steps forward to pin it to Alex's jacket Alex stays quiet throughout, waits until Jack's finished (Thankfully injury free, because stabbing people is definitely not romantic) before he wraps his arms around Jack's neck.

“I know it was your moms idea, but I love you” Alex whispers in his ear, “And I really can't thank her like i'd like to thank you”

Jack's only got time to whisper a quick 'love you too' back before they're being summoned by their mothers for photos and Jack takes Alex's hand, leads him underneath the tree.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The good news is that Alex was right, the whole things a lot more casual than Jack thought it would be, the only concessions to classiness a huge glass punch bowl and the fancy clothes everyone's in. Zack and Rian both look ridiculously handsome in their matching black suits, arms linked together as they look for a spare table.

So far, so good.

The even better news is that the music isn't as horrible as Jack thought it would be either, it's nothing fantastic but there's a few gems that he's willing to get up and try to dance with Alex during.

“Jack' c'mon!” Alex's smile is bright, a combination of excitement and probably too much punch as he tugs at Jack's sleeve as the first bars of what Jack can tell is the official slow dance of the night echo through the hall.

“Do I have to?” Jack whines, clinging to his chair and trying to finish the adorably tasty little sandwich he'd snagged from the snack table. He doesn't want everyone to see him slow dance with Alex. No ones said anything yet, but Jack's met a few curious gazes.

“Yes” Rian's voice comes from behind him, strong arms pushing his chair forward so it's either get up or end up on the floor.

Jack lets Alex tug him along to the dance floor, mind racing, tries to settle on the edge of everyone but Alex is having none of it, dragging him right to the middle, leaving Rian and Zack behind, arms wrapped around each other.

The minute Alex's arms settle around his waist though, Jack feels so guilty that he'd been willing to deny Alex this and as he wraps his arms around Alex's neck, tries to keep up with the slow steps he's leading he's not worried about what anyone else thinks. What does it matter when Alex is solid and warm against him, his features radiating contentment.

Across the room, Jack catches Zack's attention and they share a grin and Jack never wants the dance to end.

It does soon enough and the spell that had drawn everyone together disappears and the room breaks into noise once again, couples drawing apart.

“Come outside with me” Alex says, “I wanna show you something”

Something turns out to be Alex dragging him behind the hall, into a weird little alley behind some bushes, the two of them nearly tripping on the way.

“Alex, what the fuck are we doing?”

Alex leans casually against the brick wall. “We're starting a new tradition”

“Doing what, hiding in some bushes in the cold?”

Alex laughs, spinning his body so he's got Jack pinned up against the wall. “I was thinking more me going down on you” He whispers in Jack's ear and oh, Jack's a fucking idiot and Alex is a genius. Sex in the bushes. Really, it's the only logical thing. Seriously, how the hell was sex not the first thing on Jack's mind when it's usually the only thing.

“You're a genius” Jack breathes.

“I know”

And then Alex is licking into his mouth, pinning him harder against the wall, hands already fumbling with Jack's belt and okay, Alex is apparently on some kind of blow job mission. Jack's not one to complain, his cock already beginning to get with the program.

He presses a firm hand against the back of Alex's neck, not wanting to let him make his way down just yet, coaxing him into deep strokes of tongue, using his other hand to squeeze Alex's ass, prompting the other boy to squeak into their kiss, Jack swallowing the sound.

Eventually Alex pulls out of Jack's grip and Jack protests as Alex's fingers press against his lips, breath heavy and lips red. “C'mon, don't you want me to suck your cock?”

Jack actually quivers at the tone of Alex's voice because yes, yes he absolutely does and if he'd have known that slow dancing was the way to make Alex demand to give head then hell, he would've had them dancing a long time ago. Five minutes ago Alex was a sweet, innocent creature and now he's dropping to his knees and digging his fingers into Jack's hips like a wanton being that knows Jack's every weakness. And he does. Alex is his weakness.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As they stumble out of the bushes god only knows how long later the both of them flushed and sated, Jack has to stop the burst of hysterical laughter trying to escape his throat. Across the parking lot, Rian and Zack appear to be coming out of some bushes of their own. Tradition indeed.


	74. Chapter 74

After Joyce drops him home, Alex changes into his pyjamas, folds his suit and rests it neatly on the back of a chair, fingers unpinning the soft blue flowers from his jacket. He smooths the petals, smiles fondly at the still fresh memory of their dance together. It means a lot to him to know that even though Jack had been hesitant of what people might think, he still got up and held Alex close as they'd moved across the floor.

And well, the only proper way to reward your boyfriend for his bravery is with oral sex. Alex still isn't entirely sure what came over him but he'd enjoyed it and Jack had most definitely enjoyed it so there's no harm done. He can't wait to put matching blushes on Rian and Zack's faces tomorrow.

Alex heads to the bathroom to brush his teeth, inspects his face in the mirror and he's quite thankful that his parents are asleep because he most definitely has a case of sex hair and blow job lips. He smiles at his reflection.

When his teeth are done Alex wanders back into his room, sits on the edge of his bed and tests as he texts Jack goodnight, including a little smiling heart emoticon just because he can. He tucks himself into bed then and flicks off his lamp, burrows into his blankets.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He's drowning. He's trapped and he can't get out and he's knows he needs to wake up but his eyelids are just too heavy and he's so tired.

Alex blinks awake into darkness, mouth dry and a dull ache in his head and as he struggles to pull his heavy limbs out from under the blankets, his first instinct is to reach across the bed for Jack.

Jack's not there, and it takes his mind a minute to process the information, withdraw his hand and Alex sits up, a sob heavy in his throat as he slowly pulls his covers off himself. He's hungry.

It takes him longer still to summon the energy to force his body to do what he needs, to shift across to his bedside table and fumble the draw open, search for the familiar shape of the little cartons of juice that are his lifeline right now but he can't, doesn't find them and fuck, he remembers that he was supposed to put some more in there last week, post-it note reminder still stuck to his dressing table mirror.

Okay, fuck. He shifts his tongue around in his mouth, debates the possibility of whether he's got enough spit to try and chew a glucose tab or two, but the idea of the dry, powdery substance in his mouth makes him shiver and no, he's not that desperate.

He can make it downstairs for juice. Logically, he should walk just down the hall, wake his mother as she so often wishes he would but he doesn't want to disturb her. He's not a child any more, he can deal with being low all on his own.

The stairs seem to move beneath his feet and Alex clings to rail with both hands, making his way down in a bizarre sideways movement but he's moving so that's okay he's nearly there it's gonna be fine. His heart pounds in his chest and his head hurts but he stumbles into the kitchen with purpose, tugs open the fridge door and stares blankly inside, the bright light searing into his eyes. Juice. Where's the juice.

He finds it, stashed in the door in the place it always is, drags it out and puts it on the kitchen table, turns back around to search for a glass. His mom hates when he drinks out of the bottle.

He's with it enough to realise that an actual glass is a bad idea, he needs plastic, plastic and thankfully he finds a plastic mug easily enough, hands shaky as he fills it with juice, rests a hand on the table as he drinks, his parched throat thankful for the cool liquid as he drinks and drinks and it's probably too much, he always overdoes it when he's like this, filled with the need to make it stop right now but he doesn't care because he can feel the fog in his head disappearing, the way his bones seem lighter and he sinks down onto a chair, tries not to cry with relief.

The kitchens dark, only the smallest hint of moonlight slipping through the curtains and for a reason Alex cannot understand, all he wants is Jack to be sitting beside him.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jack smiles at Alex's cute goodnight message, replies with a little smiling whale emoticon of his own and curls up into his bed, too lazy to change out of his clothes beyond ditching the jacket and pants, just sleeping in his white button down and his boxers. He cuddles his blankets close to his chest, tries to pretend that it's Alex he's holding.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After the dance, Halloween seems to creep up on them and for Jack, it's horrifying.

Halloween is absolutely one of his favourite holidays and the fact that he's now limited to only a week and a half of preparations is crazy.

He hasn't even thought of a costume, which has to be brilliant and even though his mother thinks he's getting a little old for trick or treating Jack figures as long as he's willing to dress up, he can claim candy. It's a law of the universe really, no costume, no candy.

He doesn't even know what sort of ridiculous pumpkin carving he's going to attempt this year. His mom hadn't been awfully impressed with last years interpretation of hairy balls.

Maybe him and Alex can do a combined costume. Maybe he can con Alex into wearing a skirt. Halloween is a great time for boys in skirts.

Jack's pulled out his phone and is scrolling for Alex's name when it hits him. Alex. Halloween. The holiday that pretty much celebrates the eating of stupid, gonna-throw-up amounts of candy and chocolate. Something that Alex can't exactly do.

Well he could if he wanted, Jack knows, but he also knows that Alex tries really hard to be responsible and accountable for himself and eating an entire bag of sugary treats would probably be something he mightn't want to do.

He taps on Alex's name.

Do you celebrate Halloween? - Jack

Alex's reply is almost instant.

Wtf of course I celebrate Halloween what are you on about this is America – Alex

But all the candy? - Jack

Shit I didn't mean that like it sounds i'm sorry! D: - Jack

Fuck. Even in text Jack manages to speak before he thinks.

Sorry! - Jack

You're an idiot – Alex

My Halloween is exactly the same as your Halloween except that it's better because I also make money - Alex

What? - Jack

Come over and snuggle and i'll share my scheme with you – Alex

Jack rushes to oblige, instantly curious as to how Alex is getting candy and money. Maybe he's not the first person to think Alex in a skirt is the most brilliant idea ever.


	75. Chapter 75

Half an hour later Jack's ringing the Gaskarth's doorbell, his mother insisting that she finish her coffee before dropping him off like it isn't absolutely essential that he discovers Alex's secret right fucking now.

It takes a while for the door to open and then Alex is smiling at him in that special way Jack's sure is just for him, stepping aside so Jack can come in.

“Curiosity killed the cat you know” Alex says conversationally, shutting the door and pulling Jack in for a quick kiss.

“I'm sorry about you know, assuming”

Alex shrugs, seemingly nonplussed. “It's okay, I know Halloween is kind of a mindfuck”

Alex leads him upstairs then, the two of them sprawling across his bed

“Okay, spill, I have to hear about this money making scheme of yours” Jack says immediately because really, he has to know because there's free candy and then there's free money. It's a whole 'nother level of excellent.

Alex laughs, “It's less of a scheme more of my parents attempts to stop me from screaming that they were stealing my candy when I was nine”

Jack snickers, but there's a tiny pang in his chest that imagines a tiny, tearful Alex confused as why he wasn't allowed candy.

“My mom was freaking out because of course I wanted to keep with tradition and go trick or treating with Rian, so she decided that the best way to make both of us happy was to let me go and even back then Rian was mothering me so we all knew I wouldn't be able to get much past him and then when I came home i'd be able to pick what candy I wanted and the rest I could trade to my dad for pocket money”

Peter and Isobel might actually be geniuses.

“And now, a million years later we've got it down to a science – My parents pay me for half of it and I know they really enjoy eating it, no matter what they say, then I get a quarter to eat whenever I want and the other quarter is for post-Halloween lows and stuff.”

It's the most depressingly brilliant idea Jack's ever heard. It makes sense and it's cool that Alex gets money but still, the idea of a much younger Alex having to do it is kinda sad. So is the idea that he's still doing it now, with a resigned kind of willingness. But nothing in Alex's tone or the way he's still casually splayed across his bed shows any sadness on his part, so Jack decides to keep his sudden rush of feelings to himself.

Instead, he pouts. “What about me?”

Alex raises a curious eyebrow, “What about you?”

“Well, you could always share with me now, right?”

Alex taps his fingers on his chin. “I don't even share with Rian” He says, and Jack puckers his lips out a little bit more.

“But you love me” He protests and Alex shifts forward to nuzzle his head into Jack's side.

“I'll think about it”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the end, neither of them can decide on who or what they want to dress up as. Zack's going as Thor and Rian's being a lazy fucker and just covering himself in fake blood and his football uniform and calling himself a zombie football player and Jack figures well, why not keep with the sort-of theme and go as superheroes themselves.

Which would have been okay idea if they hadn't left it until three days to Halloween to go and actually acquire said superhero costumes.

All the department stores shelves are empty bar a few Chihuahua sized costumes and their only alternative is to try at a proper costume store, which strangely enough, is also lacking in costume choices that might have a snowballs chance of fitting them.

On a rack at the very back of the store, there's two costumes. Jack very cautiously takes a few steps away from Alex, pretending to look at something else, waiting for the moment Alex is momentarily distracted before he bolts towards the rack.

“Hey!” Alex calls and Jack can feel the other boy behind him but Jack's got the advantage so he gets there first, snagging the two costumes off the rack and clutching them to his chest. He's got no idea what they are but he definitely wants first dibs.

Alex skitters to a stop, nearly slamming into Jack and there's a pause where the two of the just stare at each other.

“Dibs.” Jack blurts.

“You cheated!” Alex says indignantly. “That's like, against the laws of shotgun”

“And yet i'm the one with the costumes”

It's Alex's turn to pout. “Well then” He says, “Let's see what we've got”

Jack lets the costumes unfold from the ball he's pulled them into.

There's a lycra Batman suit and uh, a Wonder Woman costume. He smirks and looks at Alex.

“No. No fucking way.”

All Jack can think is yes, fucking yes. The universe is shining down on him right now.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It takes a lot of wheedling and promises of blow jobs and Halloween sex and multiple discussions about how Jack swears he won't laugh too much, will still find Alex hot as always to convince Alex to at least try the costume on. They'd bought them of course, because it was either that or no costume and hey, Jack likes Batman.

“Babe, you have to come out of the bathroom eventually”

Alex has been in his bathroom for about fifteen minutes, Jack lounging on his boyfriends bed, waiting for Alex to finally man up and come out in his costume.

“I look like a weird hairy cross-dressing prostitute!” Alex's voice echoes through the door.

“But you'll be my weird hairy cross-dressing prostitute!” He calls back, drumming his fingers against his thighs in anticipation.

If Alex really doesn't want to wear it obviously Jack can't make him, but he just wants to see.

Eventually the door unlocks and Alex's head pokes out from behind it, complete with Wonder Woman’s trademark headband affixed to the dark brunette shoulder length wig he's sporting. The wibbly eyes he's making at Jack are adorable and in some weird, potentially hairy cross-dressing prostitute way, Alex is fucking hot with girl hair.

So Jack tells him so.

“You look fucking hot with girl hair”

Alex grimaces. “It's itchy and everywhere” He whines and Jack just laughs.

“Gonna show me the rest?”

Alex pulls the bathroom door open, steps just out of the doorway, holding his pump in his hand. Thankfully for the both of them, it's not the worlds most sexually explicit costume. It's a little lycra top attached to a skirt that on Alex's slightly-taller-than-the-average-girl's frame, rests just above mid-thigh, with matching red tights and a waist length cape. Jack licks his lips and Alex gives him a wary look.

“Is this a kink you've never told me about?”

“No, it's just that, uh”

Jack's kind of lost for words and Barakats are rarely without the ability to run their mouths. He's never found boys in skirts more attractive than boys that aren't but there's something about Alex like this that's really fucking working for him. His boyfriend looks pretty damn fine as a woman. Even if his leg hair is clearly visible through the tights. And his chest hair. And well, if either of them get an impromptu boner they're fucked.

“You look wonderful” He settles on and Alex prances across the room to grab a pillow and smack him over the head with it, clearly not appreciaiting how witty Jack is.

But really, it's not about what Jack thinks.

“What do you think?” He asks, tugging at Alex's cape so the other boy will spin round so he can see himself in the mirror.

“I think it's horrifying enough for Halloween”

“We have a problem though” Alex continues, “Just where am I going to put this?”

He waggles his pump in Jack's direction and Jack frowns, because he didn't think of that, eyes sweeping over Alex's costume again. At the moment, Alex is holding it, the tubing hanging down and then disappearing under his skirt and yeah, there's not really any place he could clip it to, the smooth lycra clinging to his body. Jack doubts that Alex really wants his pump around his neck like a collar.

Hmm. Jack's mom has been known to sew and quilt on occasion. Maybe she could like, make Alex a pouch or something. Like a teenage-boy-dressed-as-a-woman-type-kangaroo.

“My mom can sew” He announces, standing up so he can wrap an arm round Alex's silky waist, twirl a strand of curly hair between his fingers. “We'll find a way”

Alex leans back into his touch, eyes blinking up at Jack.

“You're that invested in me wearing this that you're willing to get your mom involved?”

Jack kisses Alex's nose. “Yes, yes I am.”

He pauses. “Unless you really don't want to wear it, cause I wouldn't actually make you”

“I think we can work something out” Alex says with a wink and yes, Jack would really like to work something out.


	76. Chapter 76

The good news is that when Halloween finally rolls around it's so motherfucking freezing outside that there's absolutely no chance of him or Alex getting lycra boners. They've both refused their mothers insistence that they wear any sort of coat, not wanting to hide their awesome costumes.

Jack's mom, being brilliant as always had indeed managed to fix up Alex's costume for him, albeit with one of those all knowing motherly smirks on her face and Jack wonders if she knows more about his weird attraction to Alex in a skirt than he does. Ew.

She's fixed it though, added a little spray painted gold belt with a little red pouch for Alex's pump, made a hole in his skirt affixed with velcro so he can slide the tubing through and the look on Alex's face when she'd seen what had been done for him was nothing short of the sweetest, most appreciative face ever. Jack had had no that idea that such a tiny little thing would end up with his mom and Alex hugging in the living room.

As they'd gone upstairs to get changed, Alex had said it was on of the nicest things anyone's mom had ever had done for him and then they'd hugged as well and just, Alex wearing a Wonder Woman costume shouldn't come with all these feelings attached to it. Not these sort of touchy-feely-romancy feelings anyway.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Oh my god” Rian's voice comes from behind them. “Oh my god”

His tone of voice borders on hysterical and Jack smirks, because clearly Alex in a skirt is shaping up to be a lovely surprise.

“Rian” Alex says evenly, turning around and putting his hand on his hip. “I'm guessing you like my costume”

Rian's blood-caked face breaks into a smile. “I'm not what's worse, the idea that you don't make a half-bad wonder woman or the knowledge that Jack is gonna tap that later”

Even in the cold weather, Jack blushes. It's true, but hearing Rian say it is just weird.

“What about my costume, Riri?”

Rian looks him over. “You're both insane for not wearing jackets”

“You say that like you're surprised” Zack says, climbing out of his mothers car and onto the pavement to stand with them and yeah, Zack pulls off Thor pretty well.

“Wonder Woman huh?”

Alex swishes his hair. “Yup.”

And that's really all anyone has to say before they start off on their trick or treating route in Alex's neighbourhood because according to everyone, it's the best part of town for this kind of thing.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A little over an hour later the four of them are well, Jack's hesitant to say it but they're all pretty damn high on sugar and who knows what kind of tasty, delicious poisons they use to make that one bright shade of blue and they're just, they're bouncing off the walls. Or uh, street.

Zack's taken to imitating Thor at every opportunity, chasing gleefully shrieking little kids with his giant cardboard hammer and Rian's zombie walking and Alex is fucking sashaying and Jack, well Jack's trying to channel all of the inner turmoil and conflict that being Batman requires. While sucking on three lollipops at once.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two hours later, Jack's following a giggling Alex up his front steps, not needing to be quiet because Alex's parents have gone to an 'adult' Halloween party and both of them are going to take advantage of such a rare opportunity.

As soon as the front door closes Jack can't help himself, pins Alex against the wall and kisses him, hands fitting to Alex's bony hips as he ravages the others mouth because it's been way too long since they've done this and Alex is just as desperate as he is, fingers tugging at his hair, trying to pull Jack closer to him.

“We should,” Jack manages between kisses, “Take this upstairs”

Alex whines, “But I don't want to stop kissing you” and Jack shivers, the knowledge that Alex wants this, has missed this just as much as he has is such a huge fucking turn on and he returns his mouth to Alex's, deep, open mouthed kisses as he tries to come up with a plan to magically get them up the stairs without ever having to stop.

Fuck it. “Hold on” He says, sliding his hands to cup at Alex's skirt covered ass, pushing it up just a little so he can slide his hands underneath, get a grip on the bright red tights and Alex squeaks as Jack bends down and lifts him up, legs immediately coming to wrap Jack's waist

“Jack!” Alex squeals, “Put me down!”

Jack shifts Alex around to get a proper hold of him before kissing his boyfriend again.

“Nope.”

“But i'm heavy, you won't be able to carry me up the stairs!” Alex protests.

Okay yes, Alex is kind of heavy. But that's only because Jack has the strength of a duckling. He's determined though because having Alex completely reliant on him like this feels good, the way he's clutching at Jack like a lifeline.

“I'm Batman” He says, like it's a proper answer.

Alex clings tighter as he starts to walk, nipping and nuzzling at Jack's neck and halfway up the stairs Jack caves for just a moment and pushes Alex back against the railing to join their lips again, squeezing at Alex's ass as he uses the chance to adjust his grip once more before he continues on his quest to get Alex into bed.

It seems like forever and yet all too soon that he's tossing Alex, albeit gently, onto his bed, watching as the other boy wiggles himself back so he's resting against the pillows, watching Jack with dark eyes as he curls a long strand of hair between his fingers, a soft smile on his lips.

“So Batman, I believe you owe me” Alex drawls, and Jack snaps out of the weird can't-stop-staring-at-Alex trance he's in, toeing off his shoes as Alex does the same before crawling onto the bed until he's covering Alex completely, their noses touching.

“You can have anything you want” Jack murmurs, grinding his hips down just a fraction, pressing the very obvious tent in his costume against the soft rise of Alex's skirt, causing Alex's breath to hitch and to mirror his movement right back.

Alex swallows loudly and Jack can practically see his mind whirring away. “I want,” He starts, “I want you help me get these tights off right fucking now so you can fuck me like you've been dying too ever since I put this skirt on”

Jack might never, ever get used to Alex's filthy mouth and he bites at Alex's bare shoulder in response, hands sliding down to push up the skirt properly, snickers softly at Alex's choice of matching red underwear before he hooks his thumbs in the tights and underwear as well, two birds with one stone and all, and begins to ease them down Alex's thighs, taking his sweet time about it because well, Alex's dick just pretty much bounced into his face and Jack is never not going to take the opportunity to tease Alex somehow.

He keeps tugging the tights down as he licks at Alex's cock drawing little hitching whines from the boy below him that turn into outright groans and Jack closes his lips over the head and sucks, pressing his tongue into the slit and focusing all his attention there until Alex starts tugging at his hair in what's probably supposed to be a silent request for him to stop but it's Jack and hair tugging is only going to send him further down Alex's dick.

“Ja-ack” Alex whines and okay, that's probably enough of the teasing, time to get on with the plan. Not that there really is a plan, just Jack pressing his boyfriend into the mattress and having his sweet, sweet way with him.

Jack pulls his mouth away, curls gentle hands around Alex's ankles to pull the tights completely from his body, tosses them over his shoulder. Alex just lies there, pliant, dark eyes and a smirk spread across his features like he knows exactly what he's doing.

Jack goes for his own costume then, because it's a one piece suit that's a bit of a bitch to get out of and he doesn't want to keep Alex waiting forever he ends up stepping off the bed and doing an impromptu hip wiggling dance as he pulls his limbs from the elastic trappings of lycra and he hears a giggle from behind him, and fuck that, Jack is totally a graceful, sexy undresser.

Naked, he can't help but reach a hand down to stroke his dick a few times, his anatomy pleased to have escaped it's elastic confines and he stifles the groan in his throat as he clambers back onto the bed again, stretches over Alex to the bedside table, nearly crushes his boyfriend in surprise when Alex's lips close over a nipple, bony fingers caressing his sides as Jack pulls back and deposits lube and condoms beside them.

Alex lifts his legs then, so Jack can settle between them, press open mouthed kisses to the inside of his knees and Alex laughs again.

“Jack I love you and you're being very sweet but we haven't done this in ages and if you don't hurry up I will kill you”

Jack sticks his tongue out and starts licking down Alex's thigh, “Hush now, i'll kiss you whenever and wherever I want” he retorts but he does as asked because well, who tells Alex Gaskarth no when he's essentially asking you to hurry up and get inside him?

For all Alex's insistence, Jack slicks his fingers and starts slowly, tries ignore how the skirt covers Alex's cock just so, the soft fabric draping across him in the most tantalising way.

Alex isn't having a bar of it though, wiggling his hips and pushing down on Jack's fingers but Jack doesn't change his pace, just changing from one finger to two to three, slowly stretching Alex out despite his protests.

When he eventually pulls his fingers out, Alex's protests have been mostly silenced – funny what a little attention to a certain place can do.

Alex's hands reach out to stroke through Jack's hair as Jack fumbles with the condom wrapper. “Come on” Alex coaxes, “I'd like for this to happen before Halloween is over”

Jack spares a hand to pinch at Alex's thigh. “You shut up.” He says, before he's hitching the other boys knees up, Alex taking the initiative and wrapping them around his waist before he steadies himself, pushing inside in one smooth movement, Alex falling still around him.

He nuzzles Alex's shoulder, “You okay?” He asks, because it has been awhile and last, last thing he wants to do is hurt Alex, even if they're both keen to get to the fucking part as soon as possible.

Alex's arms wrap around his neck as he clenches and Jack might, just might let out a tiny (Manly) squeak of pleasure. “I am very, very okay” Alex whispers and right, that's excellent.


	77. Chapter 77

The next morning finds them freshly showered and downstairs, costumes in the wash (Alex may or may not have come all over his skirt) and sprawled across a plush rug in the living room, a mountain of candy between them.

Well, two mountains actually. Apparently Alex was deadly serious about not sharing.

“Just one piece?” Jack wheedles, eyeing off the little box of toffee apple flavoured sherbet fruits, something that he seems to have missed out on collecting for himself.

Alex doesn't even lift his head from where he's focused intently on pushing his candy into separate piles. “Nope.”

Jack's appalled. How can Alex just say no like that?

“Pleaseeeeee?” He draws out the word, rolls himself so he's dangerously close to Alex's pile of chocolate. He curls an arm around it.

“Jack.”

“Ahleexxxxxxxxxx”

Alex finally lifts his head, expression serious but Jack sees the way the corners of his mouth are curled up just so, he sees.

They stare at each other intently for a moment, eyes locked and bodies still before Alex looses it, breaking into a wide grin as he reaches forward to ruffle his hands through Jack's hair.

“If you get off the pile because you're probably melting everything, you can have as many pieces as you want” 

“Done!” Jack says brightly, sitting up and digging his hands into the pile.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After lunch, well lunch for Alex, (Jack isn't planning on consuming anything that isn't Halloween candy until either he runs out or throws up. It's tradition.) they end up melded together on the sofa, Alex lying across Jack's lap as they watch some animal documentary, Jack with a tiny pile of chocolatey treats resting on Alex's stomach as his boyfriend stares intently at the screen currently depicting the habitats of the Arctic fox.

Alex had declined his offers to share his prizes and assured Jack that he really, really doesn't give a fuck if Jack goes right ahead but Jack still kinda feels bad as he swishes the chocolate around in his mouth. But it is delicious.

He gets distracted by the sudden montage of birds on the screen and by the time he remembers the little square of chocolate in his fingers it's well and truly a melted mess. He pops the remainder of the square into his mouth and lifts his hand with every intention to lick the chocolate from his fingers. Except there's a hand on his wrist, stopping his hand halfway.

“Uh” He says, looking down at Alex, who seconds ago had been not paying attention to him at all.

Alex says nothing, just tugs Jack's hand towards himself and Jack's confused until the very moment Alex licks his lips and pokes his little pink tongue out, swiping his tongue across the pads of Jack's chocolate covered fingers.

“W-what are you doing?” Jack asks, even though it's plainly obvious that Alex is licking chocolate off him. It's nice, the soft kitten licks and the way Alex's eyes are lidded, the way his throat moves when he swallows but Jack still doesn't understand.

Alex's tongue swipes over his lips again, leaving them shiny and pink.

“Having a chocolatey snack?” He says innocently and Jack is torn between wanting to kiss that knowing smirk right off his face or getting Alex to keep going.

He decides on the latter, nudging his thumb against the other boys lips, Alex obliging without comment, licking it clean.

“You want an actual piece?”

Alex shrugs, wiggling himself impossibly closer. “You gonna feed it to me?”

Jack reaches for another piece of chocolate, peels the foil off it and holds it out to Alex, sliding his other hand around Alex's neck to lift him up a little, the last thing he needs to choke Alex with chocolate. Especially in view of a bunch of adorable Polar Bear cubs.


	78. Chapter 78

As they settle into November and Jack's finally run out of Halloween candy and depleted Alex's stash to the point that his boyfriend has hidden it, everything starts to drag on.

It's the like the universe is imploring Jack to stop caring and just have fun, constant little reminders of the upcoming holiday season everywhere, teasing him.

Thanksgiving isn't Jack's favourite holiday but it's one their school has pounced on as a chance to encourage 'positive student relations' which is basically a new form of strange, unusual torture.

More friendly 'team-building' PE games, more 'class discussions' and more teachers trying to 'connect' with them. Jack doesn't dislike school more than the average person but he does not want to make friends with his teachers. It's just weird.

He has English separate from Alex because Alex and words go together and Jack and words do not. Which is fine with Jack because whilst Alex is being forced (Well no, he's probably enjoying it, the freak) to analyse poems and read plays and write novels, Jack's class gets away with turning in the occasional book report and comprehension worksheet.

Until now.

His teacher, Mrs Leiman has really taken the schools mission to heart.

She's made laminated posters for their room about conflict resolution and made them all push their desks into rows, sit with someone new everyday and that would maybe be okay, if she hadn't also had the brilliant idea of setting weekly homework tasks that only seem to increase in the actual effort required. Weekly homework that they then have to present to the class and discuss.

Last week, it was to review something. (Jack chose Hershey's new 'Caramel Mint Swirl' chocolate, Which for the record, was absolutely shit.) The week before that, a supposedly 'relevant to today’s youth' topic – write a plan for a theoretical zombie apocalypse. (Jack plans to just die early on, full of food.).

This week, this week has taken a decidedly more serious turn.

In tune with how close Thanksgiving is, they're supposed to write about five things they're thankful for and why. At least two paragraphs for each thing. They have to be serious things because apparently this is counting towards their end of year grades for creative writing. Grades which Jack could stand to improve a little on.

Jack's not really good at serious writing. Alien abduction story, sure. Proper feelings? Yeah no. So he's aware it's going to be a challenge.

The first of which is to actually think of five things he's really, truly thankful for.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thursday afternoon finds Alex doing something he hasn't done in way too long – monopolising Rian's free time.

Since he's had Jack, he's been able to lean a little bit less on his best friend and it's amazing, having Jack in his life but sometimes he craves Rian's all-knowing presence.

And Rian's mom always makes the best snacks.

“So” Rian says through a mouthful of chips, “What's the occasion?”

Alex shrugs. “Just been missing you lately” He admits, because really, even if he pretends he's got another reason, Rian'll get the truth out of him eventually. It's easier just to get straight to the point.

Rian smiles fondly at him before he reaches beside Alex to tug a spare pillow from the couch onto the floor between his legs, patting the spot with his foot.

“C'mon, i'll give you a head rub and you can tell me how much you love me”

Head rubs from Rian Dawson and a gift from the gods, truly. A gift that Alex is very happy to accept, sliding down off the couch and sitting on the cushion, Rian's legs on either side of him and he leans back, stares up at his best friend as Rian's fingers begin to card through his hair, pressing gentle circles.

It's a thing they've been doing ever since they were little, Alex being the willing recipient of Rian's affection, an almost silent reminder of how much they adore each other. In recent years, it's become an opportunity for conversation, a little place Alex has defined in his mind as acceptable to relax completely, just concentrate on Rian's fingers, say whatever floats to the top of his head.

Alex closes his eyes, curls both arms around Rian's left ankle.

“I'm really in love with Jack” He murmurs after a few minutes.

For a long moment, Rian stays quiet, fingers never ceasing in the constant soothing pattern.

“You really are” Rian replies eventually.

When Alex remains silent, one of Rian's hands come down to squeeze at his shoulder.

“You're not doubting him again, are you?

Alex shakes his head “No, no it's nothing like that. It's just.”

It's just complicated, some of the feelings he's been having as of late. Craving Jack's presence when he was low that one time has turned into him wanting Jack to be there always. He's never wanted someone there to see his weaknesses before. Not even Rian.

Rian's hand trails back up to his head and Alex knows that he's just waiting, giving him time to sort out what he wants to say.

“I've spent my entire life trying to be independent you know, to stop having people looking over my shoulder all the time and now all I can think about is how nice it'd be if Jack was with me.” He says in a rush, fingers digging into Rian's calf a little.

Rian's hands still.

“Alex,” He says seriously, “If you want Jack around, that doesn't make you any less independent. It's okay to want your boyfriend to be there when you're not at your best, it's a good thing. A really good thing. If anything, you're proving how self-sufficient you can be.”

Alex turns to look Rian in the eye, not sure of the point his friends trying to make. “I don't understand.” He says quietly.

“Think about it, you're confident that not only can you take care of yourself but that you can involve someone else as well and you know Jack cares about you, and you're able to deal with his worry as well. So you're comforting each other and that's awesome. It took me forever to convince Zack that when i'm upset, the only person I want there is him, even if he thinks i'd be better off alone.”

Alex smiles a little because of course Rian's got a logical, intelligent answer. Even if Alex isn't completely convinced it's the answer he wanted. But Rian's like that, giving you what you need instead of what you want.

“How come you're so smart?” He says jokingly, resting his head against Rian's knee.

Rian lets out a huff of a laugh. “It's all an illusion to ensure I get excellent Christmas presents”

Alex snorts, “I'm getting you coal, you dick”

“Get me coal and you'll wake up without yours” Rian counters, and yeah Alex's missed this. He's going to have to bribe Zack more often so he can cuddle with Rian.

“I'm going to cuddle you now” He announces, standing up and curling up into Rian's lap, reaching for the bowl of chips on the coffee table, the other boys arms sliding around his waist as Rian adjusts the two of them.

He spends a few minutes chewing intently before he turns to face Rian again.

“I love you too, you know”

“I know”


	79. Chapter 79

“Jack and Alex if you don't stop eating the dough there isn't going to be any cookies!” Jack's mother says in exasperation and okay yes, it's about the seventh time him and Alex have snuck into the kitchen to grab little handfuls of her famous butter cookie dough.

Under the table, where they've taken to hiding lest his mother actually manage to land a swat on him with her wooden spoon, Jack licks his fingers with a grin.

“It was all Jack's idea!” Alex chirps from beside him, the traitor, like his hands are completely clean right now.

“Somehow I doubt that” Is the wry response and yes, take that she's on Jack's side. Or the doughs side. Some side that is not Alex's.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Later that afternoon, filled to the brim with proper, baked cookies, Jack drags Alex upstairs, fully intending to get Alex to help him with his homework.

Except that they'd ended up cuddling in bed as per usual and now Alex has fallen asleep, face mushed into Jack's shoulder and he looks so sweet that there's no way Jack could ever disturb him for something like homework.

He does have to start though, because it's due in the morning and despite evidence to the contrary, Jack doesn't actually like to fail completely at things.

So he very carefully lifts Alex's head off of him, smiles fondly at the little patch of drool his boyfriends left on shirt and rearranges the pillows and blankets around Alex as he slips out of bed to grab his English book out of his bag.

He has started a little actually, which is something of a miracle but none of it's actually useful. He can't exactly discuss with Mrs Leiman and the class what he likes about orgasms or Alex's tongue.

It's difficult to even try and be serious about it but Jack's determined to get it done and not be the worst in the class.

So. Things he's thankful for. He's thankful for Alex, obviously and his mother and Rian and Zack and pretty much everyone he knows. He also doesn't think he can get away with just listing five people.

Jack rummages around on his desk for a pen.

Things I Am Thankful For, he scrawls at the top of a new page as he sticks the end of the pen into his mouth, chewing it thoughtfully.

He's thankful for his mom. For everything she's done for him, to the fact that she's always accepted his choices, his mother is amazing and she definitely deserves more words than he could ever write.

He's thankful for friends. Rian and Zack are the best friends a guy could ask for.

He's thankful for the opportunity he's been given to love someone and be loved in return. Alex. He's so, so thankful for the boy in his bed right now.

That's three. What else is he truly thankful for?

Jack's thankful for music, for being there when you're alone, and for being something that can bring everyone together. And because well, music is fucking awesome.

And that makes four.

He's thankful for life itself.

And if those five things aren't good enough well, he'll just have to fail.

Jack spends a good twenty minutes padding out his answers, trying to think of as many big, fancy words as possible. He doesn't mention Alex by name, doesn't want to give too much detail to his classmates even though they already know, he likes the illusion that him and Alex exist in nice little bubble a bit apart from everyone else.

By the time he thinks he's properly finished, it's dark outside and Alex remains asleep in exactly the same spot as Jack originally left him.

He's really, really thankful for Alex.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When he turns his assignment in the next day, Jack passes with flying colours.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As Thanksgiving draws ever closer, Jack realises that for the first time ever, it's just going to be him and his mom. No grandparents or uncles or cousins. Just the two of them, far away from their family.

He wonders if they'll be missed around the table this year.

It could be nice though, no screaming children or relatives giving him dirty looks when they think he's not looking like he's some kind of weird alien that his mother brought in from the street.

In fact, the more Jack thinks about it, the more he likes the idea of a nice, quiet Thanksgiving dinner with his mother, who makes the most amazing trifle on the planet and now he won't have to share it with a million other people.

Which is why he's more than a little surprised when he comes home from school to see Isobels car in the drive. Alex isn't with him, having gotten on the bus to his own house, so Jack's also a little confused.

Dumping his bag in the hall, Jack follows the sound of laughter into the kitchen, finds the two women with cups of tea and a plate of biscuits between them and it's a bit like a scene in a movie except that Jack really hopes they're not discussing murder or anything.

“Afternoon Jack,” Isobel greets as Jack snags a biscuit from the plate.

“Hi” He mumbles back, cheeks full of his treat.

“We've been invited to the Gaskarth's for Thanksgiving” His mother fills in, “And whilst I couldn't imagine you having a problem with spending it with Alex, I thought i'd better wait till you came home to give the official okay”

Thanksgiving with Alex was the last thing Jack was thinking of even being a remote possibility. This could be awesome. Fantastic, even.

But he doesn't want his mom to say yes just because she knows it'll make him happy.


	80. Chapter 80

Much like Alex, Jack's mom is always that once step ahead, reassuring him that she's more than happy to spend Thanksgiving with Alex and his family, eyes bright as she discusses the ins and outs of the perfect trifle with Isobel while Jack rushes upstairs to text Alex the good news.

His boyfriend is suitably thrilled of course, the news coming as a surprise to him as well and well, Jack can only hope he's going to make a good impression on whatever members of Alex's family also turn up.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When he sees Alex at school the next day, it's their only topic of discussion.

“I can't believe you're actually having thanksgiving with us!” Alex says excitedly, a grin on his face as he picks at his sandwich, “You get to suffer through the delights of our family”

Jack laughs, but then frowns. “There's not actually going to be any suffering right? No ones going to make us play backyard football or something are they?”

Alex snorts. “Only if you don't eat all your vegetables”

“So who am I actually going to meet?” Jack asks, because neither of them have really talked about their extended families, it's not been something that's ever come up.

“I'm pretty sure my grandparents on moms side are coming, my dads evil twin brothers and a cousin or two”

“Evil twin brothers?”

Alex laughs again. “Yeah, my dads got twin older brothers and one of thems evil. Jason's nice though, you'll like him, and they're not identical so you can tell them apart and stuff”

“But what about the evil one?”

Alex shrugs. “Just don't sit next to him at the table and all will be good.”

Alex doesn't sound as reassuring as Jack thinks he's trying to be. He's having trouble imagining any member of the Gaskarth family being evil. Maybe Alex is just trying to rile him up.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That night, after Jack's showered and changed into his pyjamas and is sitting in his bed, Blink playing low on his laptop as he messes around playing one of those addictive little stick figure murdering games, his phone rings, the familiar ringtone he's assigned to Alex blaring out from where his phones charging across the room.

Which means he has to get up. Bleh. Seriously, he's on Facebook, why couldn't Alex just message him? He's comfy and warm and snuggly.

Still, it's Alex so of course he gets up because comfy snuggliness aside, it is his boyfriend.

“Hey” Jack greets, fully expecting to hear Alex's cheerful voice on the other end. Instead, he's met with silence.

“Alex?”

The line crackles and then there's a weird raspy noise before Alex finally answers.

“Jack” Comes the tiny voice and Jack stiffens because Alex doesn't sound right.

“Alex, are you okay?”

“Um, no” Is the tinny reply.

“What's going on? Are you home alone? Do I need to call someone?”

“I-I'm fine” Comes Alex's shaky voice. “And, and my parents are asleep but it's so dark and I tripped and it hurts and I can't Jack, I can't breathe”

Jack's never heard Alex quite this upset, bordering on terrified hysterical and fuck, he wishes he was there but his mothers asleep and it's late and it's just not going to happen.

“Where are you?”

“M-my room, on the floor”

Okay, Okay. Jack can do this.

“Alex, i'm going to hang up and-”

“No!” Is Alex's panicked response. “Please”

“I'm gonna video call you right back okay, I promise i'm not going anywhere”

There's a shuffling noise on the other end of the line.

“Promise?” Comes Alex's tiny voice.

“I promise, I love you”

The first thing Jack sees are Alex's eyes, round and terrified and fuck, it hurts that he can't be there right now in person to hold Alex like he so desperately wants to. But he can make this work, somehow.

“Look at me” Jack coaxes.

“I'm right here and i'm not going anywhere but you gonna sit up for me, okay?”

Jacks knows from many a conversation with Rian that it'll be easier for Alex to breathe if he's sitting up, isn't curled into a tiny ball on his side on the floor.

Alex obeys his request and Jack can see that he's leaning against the foot of his bed, the room pitch black beyond the light of his phone, the rasp of Alex's breaths rattling over the line as Jack racks his brain for the soothing words he knows Alex needs to hear.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alex doesn't know what possessed him to call Jack beyond the little voice in his head crying out not to be left alone, the knowledge that Jack is his safe place someone he can rely on.

He'd been fine when he'd gone to bed, only to wake up tangled in his sheets, tears trailing down his cheeks and then he'd gone to get up for a glass of water and tripped over god knows what, slamming onto the carpet and unable to summon the effort to get back up again, the darkness of his room making it seem so infinitely tiny, a box he can't get out of, where every breath seems to make everything so much smaller.

He's able to reach for his phone though, coherent enough to keep mostly quiet, not wanting to wake his parents, cause them any worry. But he wants Jack.

And for once, Alex is willing let himself ask for help of sorts. It's just so dark.

It takes him a while to be able to concentrate on watching Jack's face on his phone, match up the movement of his lips with the soft, gentle words falling from them as he struggles to stop his hands from shaking, his pulse from racing through his veins.

Jack's with him, and Jack is safe.


	81. Chapter 81

The day before Thanksgiving Jack finds himself following Alex up the front steps of his house ready to meet The Grandparents Gaskarth. Which for some reason, seems important enough that he keeps imagining it with capital letters. It works.

Alex keeps insisting that all his family is cool with additional un-relative Thanksgiving guests but Jack isn't convinced. He knows what grandparents are like, often set in their ways and he really wants a chance to make a nice, properly good impression on them.

They toe off their shoes in the hall, hang up their scarves and jackets before Alex leads the way into the living room.

On first impression, The Grandparents Gaskarth aren't at all like he'd expected. He'd been imagining brittle, skinny old people with serious faces, much like Alex's mom’s angry face, dressed in Argyle and with mismatching socks or something. People like his own grandparents.

But no, The Grandparents Gaskarth are round cheeked and bright-eyed, dressed like those people in the 'Mature Collection' catalogues Jack's mom gets and whilst they're obviously grandparent aged, they don't appear to be at deaths door. And they're smiling.

Jack likes them already.

“Gran, this is my boyfriend Jack, Jack, this is my grandmother Ava, and grandfather Thomas” Alex says, and Jack tries to be polite and offers his hand for her to shake, which she does and then nods politely at Alex's grandfather, across the room in an armchair.

Alex's grandmother then proceeds to affix the worlds most intense stare upon him.

“You,” She says ominously, mouth twisting into a frown. “You're fucking my grandson, aren't you?”

“Mother!” Comes Isobel's hysterical shriek from across the room, the plate of biscuits she's holding swaying dangerously in her hands.

“Um,” Jack says, unsure of what an appropriate answer would be because well yes, he is but also this is Alex's grandmother and all of Alex's family in the room.

Beside him, Alex bursts in hysterical laughter, mirrored by both Peter and Grandfather Gaskarth.

“It's a joke kiddo, i'm sure you only got the best of intentions for Alexander here”

Jack breathes a sigh of relief and tries not to giggle at the absurdity of the situation, but fails. Even Isobel's smiling, so he figures he's alright.

Alex pats him on the shoulder.

“Oh my god, the look on your face”

After that, they all sit down to tea in fancy china, Jack soaking up as many embarrassing stories about Alex as he can, much to his boyfriends dismay.

“He loved being naked he did, little Alexander, didn't you?”

Alex's face is already beat red and he just hangs his head in shame.

“I plead the fifth”

Ava laughs, bright and cheery. “I'd plead it to if I was the one who decided, in the middle of winter mind you, to take all my clothes off to feed the ducks because apparently since the ducks weren't wearing clothes, he wasn't going to either!”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alex was wrong. So far, Jack's not seen a trace of evil.

By mid-morning everyone’s arrived and been introduced to Jack and his mom – Alex's uncle Jason and his fiance Patricia, his other uncle Cameron, his wife Helen and their adorable (So, so adorable Jack wasn't even aware children could achieve such a level of adorable) seven year old daughter Lacey and the Gaskarth house is full of chatter and laughter and the occasional curse from the kitchen – Ava is possibly the most bad ass grandmother ever.

Him and Alex are in the living room along with everyone else who's been banished from the kitchen (So all the males in the house pretty much) watching a football game on TV, surrounded by the most awesome selection of snacks Jack's ever seen. There's four kind of pretzels. Four.

They're wedged onto the edge of one of the couches, Jack on the end, Alex in the middle and on his other side, Cameron.

Jack reaches for a handful of fall-coloured M&Ms, holds the bowl out to Alex, who carefully picks out only the orange ones which Jack would question but yeah, football. Alex can do whatever with his M&Ms.

“You sure you're allowed to eat those?” Comes a voice from behind him and Jack turns around to see that it's Cameron who's spoken, a carefully arched eyebrow on the mans face as he gestures to Alex's handful of chocolate.

“I'm sure” Alex replies, then there's cheering on the screen and everyone focuses on the game once more.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When they're finally called into the dining room, now filled with one of those fancy extended tables, the delicious aroma of well, everything wafting around as they all shuffle around the table looking for their name cards – decorated with the cutest little turkey stickers ever, Alex nudges Jack's shoulder.

“I'll be back in sec, don't break anything”

Jack turns around, indignant. “I wou-” But Alex had already disappeared.

Jack finds his name between his mom's and Alex's, with adorable little Lacey directly across from him.

“Hi!” She chirps.

“Hi!” Jack calls back.

As everyone starts to take their seats, Cameron’s voice echoes across the room again.

“I suppose we're waiting for Alexander to get himself together?”

As if on cue, Alex reappears again, smile on his face as he makes he way over to the only empty place left, his assigned spot next to Jack.

“I'm right here”

Jack can't quite put a finger on what's off-putting about Cameron but he doesn't like the way he speaks to Alex. It's not quite right, not sincere.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After Jack's consumed enough food he's sure he'll explode - and there may just be gravy running through his veins, everyone helps clear the table for dessert. Is it still desert if it's like, in the afternoon?

There's ice cream and cream and brandy custard and maple pecan pie and of course, his mothers awesome trifle.

Alex disappears again and Jack frowns. Most likely Alex had just gone to test and do his insulin but still, he doesn't have to leave, does he? This is his family after all. But it's not Jack's place to interfere, so he just makes sure there's enough trifle left for Alex to try some because really it's fucking excellent.

When Alex returns, helping himself to the endless variety of desserts, Jack finds himself eyeing Cameron down the other end of the table, daring him to say something.

The expected complaint however, doesn't come from him.

“Cousin Alex, you can't eat that!” Comes a little voice across from them, Lacey, eyes wide as she lets her own ice cream covered spoon drip onto the table.

Jack finds himself instinctively reaching for Alex's hand under the table, squeezing it gently. He's kind of copping it today.

He watches his boyfriend swallow his mouthful, shoulders tense.

“Yes I can” He says evenly. “I like ice cream”

“But you're sick!” Comes the confused reply.

“I'm not sick, and I like ice cream” Alex says again and beside Lacey her mother tries to distract her, but like all children, once they've started on something they don't tend to want to let it go.

“Daddy said you're sick cause you ate too many bad things and ice creams a bad thing, isn't it Daddy?”

The entire table falls into complete and utter silence.

“Yes,” Cameron says. “Ice cream is bad if you have too much.”

Further down the table, Peter's cutlery clatters onto his plate.

“I think it would be best if you kept your opinion to yourself, Cam” He says stonily and in his head, Jack smirks because yeah, Alex's dad can do an excellent bitch face.

“I won't have my kid end up like yours, that's all i'm saying”

“I think you should shut your damn mouth about my grandson” Ava interrupts and yeah, she's pretty freaking awesome as well.

Jack's beyond annoyed though. Surely, surely everyone at the table right now knows that Alex is diabetic. Surely they know that it doesn't fucking work like that, not caused by eating sugar or ice cream or fucking whatever and yet apparently, apparently it's completely okay to insinuate it anyway, like it's directly someone’s fault.

Alex's hand clenches his tightly and Jack winces as the other boy turns his attention to his uncle who now Jack's sees, could very well deserve the title of evil. Or just being an epic asshole.

“Is that what you're telling her, trying to scare her away from junk food by threatening that she'll end up like me?”

Alex's tone is venomous, lips drawn into a thin line.

“How fucking dare you” He snarls and Jack sees Isobel frown, setting down her own spoon.

“Alex, please”

“No” Alex snaps, gaze not leaving the man at the other end of the table.

“It's one thing for him to believe in lies, but he's got no right to brainwash his daughter into believing them as well and he does it every fucking year and i'm fucking done okay, i'm done.”

Alex stands up then, wrenching his hand from Jacks as he scrapes his chair back, footsteps thunking against the wood as he disappears and shit, Jack didn't think things would escalate quite like they have. How hard would it have been for a grown man to keep his mouth shut for just one day?

Jack doesn't know what to do. He wants to go after Alex but he's not sure if maybe Isobel or Peter should be the ones to go, seeing as how it's kind of family thing but he thinks fuck it, he knows Alex, knows the hurt that he was hiding under his anger.

He pulls his napkin from his lap, folds it neatly beside his bowl.

“Excuse me” He says quietly, before following in Alex's footsteps.


	82. Chapter 82

Upstairs, Alex's door is closed and when Jack tries the knob, locked. So he knocks.

“Alex?”

For a moment he thinks Alex isn't going to reply, isn't going to let him in but eventually the lock clicks and the door slides open a fraction, Alex disappearing from view once more.

Jack enters cautiously, remembering the last time he encountered an upset, angry Alex, pushing the door shut behind him.

Alex is just standing in the middle of the room, hands clenched by his sides and Jack wishes the room weren't filled with bright sunlight so he wouldn't have to see the tears running down his boyfriends cheeks.

Alex's uncle is a fucking dick, of that Jack is sure.

“Come here” Jack says carefully, holding out his arms – putting the ball in Alex's court.

Alex's eyes meet his, filled with tears and it hurts Jack to see him like this, on a day they're supposed to be thankful for family, not torn down by them. Not even Jack's slightly homophobic relatives are game enough to actually say anything.

Alex doesn't move forward though and Jack can respect that, lowers his arms and moves to sit on the edge of Alex's bed.

“I'm right here when you're ready,” He says gently. “Unless you want someone else?”

Alex shakes his head.

“Want you” Is the softly whispered reply.

Jack doesn't know what's going on back at the table, if everyone's just carrying on as normal, or if maybe they're arguing or just sitting in silence. He can only hope Cameron Gaskarth is getting a piece of someones mind.

A rustling noise drags him from his thoughts and he looks up to find Alex pulling a few little balls of crumpled up paper out of his jeans pocket, uncurling them, straightening them with his fingers.

“He doesn't want to understand, never has” Alex starts and Jack just nods to show he's listening, watches Alex's fingers continue to flatten out the paper.

“Everyone else does though, even his wife, I mean look”

Alex steps forward and presses the papers into Jack's hands and there's four different pieces, all with different handwriting – his mother's even, listing the carb counts for everything from the cheesy potatoes to the trifle.

“She didn't want me to feel left out, so she called my mom a few days ago, to ask what she could do, and like, I don't understand how she's married to such a dick”

Alex's words rush together, frustrated.

“I usually don't care, cause it's just between me and him but it's not fair that he's using an incurable disease, my incurable disease to threaten his own daughter away from fucking chocolate, and, and”

Jack can hear the sob caught in Alex's throat, can only hold out his arms again in the hopes that Alex will come to him and he does, folding himself into Jack's lap and burrowing his head into Jack's neck, the tiniest whimper falling from his lips.

“And I don't care, but it hurts my feelings”

Jack holds him back, wrapping an arm around Alex's waist and squeezing tightly, his other hand pressing against Alex's head, stroking through his hair.

“It hurts my feelings and now i've ruined everyones day” Alex says again and then he's crying, these tiny little sobs that make his shoulders shake and Jack would really, really like to go downstairs and give the guy a piece of his mind as well.

He rocks Alex gently back and forth. “I know it hurts baby, I know and i'm so sorry he said that to you, it's not your fault, you know that”

Jack tries for calm, soft soothing words and though he doesn't think he's called Alex baby before, it seems to fit now, with the desire he's got to protect the boy in his arms.

Alex settles more quickly than Jack had thought he would and he knows, knows that Alex is pushing all his hurt feelings as far away as possible, trying to make himself presentable enough to go back downstairs. His hands slides from Alex's hair to rub gentle circles on Alex's back.

“We're not in any rush, take your time” He coaxes, and Alex's head shifts so he can look at Jack with damp eyes.

“It's Thanksgiving.” Alex says quietly, "And my mom’s going to be up here any second, anyway”

Truth be told, soon enough there's a soft knock on Alex's door.

“Alexander?”

Jack looks at Alex, who nods.

“It's unlocked” Jack calls and then the door opens ands a morose looking Isobel stands in the doorway.

“Is everything okay?”

No, of course it's not okay . Obviously.

“S'fine. Just five more minutes and we'll be down.”

“Alexander, don't you think we sho-”

“It's Thanksgiving” Alex says again, “We can talk about it later.”

Personally, Jack doesn't think Alex repressing everything until later is a very good idea. But he knows how hard Alex tries to keep himself to himself and if this what he wants, Jack can only support him, hope that Alex can hold on a little bit longer.

Isobel nods, but does comes across to ruffle her hand through Alex's hair.

“You come down whenever you're ready then,” She says quietly. “Ff you're sure it's going to be alright.”

“M'sure.”

And with that Isobel is gone again, the door clicking shut behind her.

Alex holds just him a little tighter for a moment before he lets out a shuddery sigh.

It takes another few minutes before Alex slips off his lap onto the bed beside him and Jack reaches to press a chaste kiss to Alex's temple.

“You're amazing, you know that right”

His words draw the tiniest of smiles onto Alex's lips before it's whisked away as Alex brings his legs up to sit cross-legged, reaching across the bed for his meter case resting near his pillows.

Beyond the beeping of the machine, they remain in silence, Alex licking the remaining blood from his finger in a practised swipe, screwing the cap back on his bottle of test strips as they wait for the result.

"Come on" Alex says quietly, "I have a dessert quota to fill"

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Downstairs they find everyone still at the table, the remnants of dessert still being consumed and the soft buzz of conversation freezing the moment their presence is noticed.

Cameron doesn't seem to want to meet Jack's eye.

“You two coming to sit down?” Jack's mother coaxes gently, patting their seats next to her and Jack leads the way, keeping Alex's hand held tightly in his own.

As they sit down at the table there's soft whispered voices and then Ava is returning from well, wherever she'd been, frog marching Lacey forward, the little girl with a bowl in her hands.

They make their way towards them and Jack's a little apprehensive about just what's going on but Ava grins at him and really, what’s the worst that could happen?

“Cousin Alex” Lacey greets, her big blue eyes staring up at them and Jack squeezes Alex's hand. It's okay.

“Grandma said that it's not very nice to tell people they can't have things like ice cream even if they're sick” She informs them solemnly and Jack returns Ava's smile, thankful that someone is at least trying to fix things.

“So I got more ice cream for you and Cousin Jack to share. I even put sprinkles on it look”

She holds the bowl out to Alex and Alex takes it from her, resting it on the table.

“Thanks, Laceybean” He says quietly, reaching out to tug at a bow covered pigtail.

“Ice cream makes everything better!” Is the chirpy reply.

And look, that’s fine and good and lovely and all, but Jack's not sure if everyone realised what a massive dick Cameron’s been, and he's not having it.

“Cameron” He says sweetly, “Could I speak to you outside for a moment?”

“Jack, we've spoken” Peter interrupts but no, Jack's not happy with that. He's going to damn well put in his two cents.

The second they've left the room, standing in the kitchen instead, Cameron opens his mouth.

“Look, kid-”

“Shut the fuck up” Jack snaps because yeah, he's fucking pissed off that a member of Alex's family is capable of being such a ignorant douchebag.

“I don't know if you're just an ass, or if you're fucking stupid or something but you don't get to speak to Alex that way you prick.”

Cameron’s eyes narrow. “Your mother let you speak to strangers like that?”

“Yes actually, she does.” Comes an unexpected voice from the doorway, Jack's mother, with a few empty bowls in her hands as she makes her way to the sink before heading to leave again.

“And Mr Gaskarth, I really do suggest you listen”

Jack tries not to look overly smug at what essentially is permission for him to cuss this guy out as much as he wants to. And oh, does he want to.

“Maybe you don't care but no doubt it's been explained to you that diabetes isn't anyones fault okay, it just happens and it's not ever, ever going to be your fucking place to criticise what anyone who has it eats and especially not my boyfriend.”

“And,” Jack continues, because he can go off on Alex-like tangents when he's so angry he can't see straight, “I hope you fucking know that while you're sitting there eating whatever the hell you want, Alex has to watch and measure and count and have to be stuck with needles just so he can do the same. That ice cream you were so worried about, it's fucking accounted for so why don't you just keep your mouth shut and be thankful okay. Be fucking thankful that you and your wife and your kid don't have to worry, let her eat all the chocolate she wants and be happy about it. “

And yeah, that's probably about all Jack's got to say.

His rant is met with silence, before Cameron just nods at him. It'll have to do.


	83. Chapter 83

That evening as Jack's mother kisses him goodbye seeing as how she's got work tomorrow and both of Alex's uncles – thank god, because Jack's tired of having to death stare Cameron as he steers Alex around him, head out to hotels, it's just him and Alex, Alex's parents and The Grandparents Gaskarth.

They've even been given half a glass of red wine to share, which Alex holds daintily between his fingers, trying to perfect the perfect swirl and sniff of the liquid. Jack just likes to stick his tongue in the glass when no ones watching.

Alex's been kind of quiet and everyone seems content not to push him, though Jack does catch him and Isobel furtively discussing something upstairs just before their dinner of leftovers.

A very small dinner, because they're all kind of full of food.

After dinner, The Grandparents Gaskarth bid them goodnight and Alex drags Jack upstairs so they can share a shower, the other boy letting Jack wash his hair for him.

“You didn't have to, you know” Alex says quietly as they climb into bed.

“Have to what?”

Alex mumbles something indistinct, and Jack presses closer.

“What?”

“Youdidn'thavetostandupfome.”

Jack let's his head rest against Alex's shoulder, hand coming to rub at Alex's knee.

“I know I didn't but I wanted to, he was a complete dick and I wanted to be sure he knew it.”

Alex snickers softly, hand resting on top of Jack's, linking their fingers together.

“And,” Jack continues, “My mom totally gave me permission to swear at him as much as I wanted”

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It takes Jack a long time to lull Alex to sleep, the two of them lying in silence, curled around each other, as slowly, slowly the lines of tension Jack can practically feel pulled across Alex's body start to soften until finally Alex's eyes float closed and stay that way, even breaths where his head rests on Jack's chest.

It feels like Jack's just fallen asleep when he's woken by a weird sort of trilling sound. He rolls over in the hopes that it's just Alex's phone and will stop. And it does.

Except for the indeterminate time later in which it wakes Jack up again and he struggles to blink himself awake enough consider the noise more carefully.

The noise sounds again and Alex snuffles in his sleep, apparently undeterred.

And then, oh. The noise suddenly becomes familiar. It's a pump noise, one of what Jack figures must be many beepity boopity options because he hasn't heard this exact one before. Alex must be genuinely exhausted because Jack's sure he'd usually wake up to such an irritating sound.

He tugs the covers back a little, sees the screen of Alex's pump lit up under his shirt.

Jack jumps a little when it trills for a third time and Alex makes a weird whimper groan, a hand unfolding itself from under his head and Jack tugs the pump from his waistband, nudging it into Alex's wandering fingers. He's not entirely convinced Alex isn't still completely asleep and is just like, doing some weird version of sleepwalking like how sometimes Jack wakes up with his phone in his hand and no memory of reaching for it.

“Alex?” He says tentatively because you're not supposed to wake sleepwalkers up, are you?

“Gnugh” Is Alex's coherent response but in the harsh light Jack can see he's properly awake, eyes squinted and the worlds most unimpressed look on his face.

And then, because even annoyed sleepy Alex is considerate of Jack's tendency to worry, “S'fine, just a reminder that i'm nearly out of insulin, i'll fix it in the morning”

Alex says it way too casually for Jack's liking, like he's run out of shampoo or milk or something. He's trying to think of a nice way to mention this to Alex, when the other boy sits up.

“And now that i'm awake I have to pee” Alex grumbles and despite his worry Jack snorts into the darkness because Alex is adorable as he stumbles across the room, the bright light in the bathroom causing him to swear in a despondent tone. Motherfucking bright light indeed.

Jack slings a foot into Alex's warm spot, waits for his boyfriend to return.

“Are you gonna be right till morning?” Jack asks as Alex returns, plunging the room into darkness again because he has to know properly, knows he'll never get back to sleep if has to worry about something happening to Alex in the night.

“Yeah,” Alex says, voice no longer roughened by his abrupt awakening as he climbs back into bed, cuddling himself up to Jack again.

“It's just an alarm to let me know that it's getting low but it's more than enough until tomorrow so we're going to snuggle and go back to sleep and you're not gonna worry, okay?”

Jack slides an arm around Alex's waist. “Okay” He says agreeably, he's an easily reassured guy, really. Alex just has this way of putting him at ease about everything. Until the morning, at least. He can worry in the morning.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alex's alarm goes off at the ghastly hour of seven and Jack shoves his head under his pillow, unwilling to face the day just yet but also strangely hungry which shouldn't even be a thing that could happen because he consumed about a weeks worth of food yesterday, how can he possibly want to eat more?

Still, he can feel Alex clambering out of bed, the cool rush of air as he slings the doona back and Jack whines in a pitiful fashion he hopes conveys his disdain for the early hour before the pillows being removed and Alex's face is overly close to his, hair outlined by the sun behind him.

“If I have to see the sun, you have to see the sun” Alex says cheerfully, extending a finger to poke Jack's forehead.

“I hate you”

“Well I love you a lot and would like to share the sun with you” And dammit, Alex is using that soft, sweet tone he has and making that stupid pouting face that Jack's unable to resist.

“Fine” He grumbles, “But you're making breakfast”

“Deal.” Alex says, poking Jack's forehead again before he disappears into the bathroom before returning with a toaster-sized cardboard box.

“You're gonna have to wait though, if that's cool?”

Like Jack would actually make Alex not do something important in order to make him breakfast. Jack can't deny that he's a little bit curious as to how Alex's pump actually works beyond getting insulin from point A to point B. (Which frankly, is fucking brilliant as far as cool technological things Jack's encountered go) He knows that Alex changes it every couple of days but in all the time they've been together, he's never seen it happen and Alex has seemed content to keep everything to himself, which Jack can appreciate. Nowadays Alex shares most everything with him and Jack's not going to push him to share if he's not ready. It's not like the internet doesn't exist if he really wanted to know. 

“So, can you like, just put more insulin in or what?”

Alex twirls the tubing idly around his fingers, “Nah, you've got take the site out completely and put a new one in”

Oh. Jack's not sure if he should offer to leave or something, maybe go downstairs and give Alex some privacy. He hasn't encountered this situation before.

“Do you, do you want me to go downstairs or something?”

Alex shakes his head. “It's okay, you can stay if it's not gonna be weird for you”

Sometimes Alex has these weird little moments where he seems to forget that Jack is absolutely in love with him, reverts to the hesitant way he was when they first met.

“Alex,” He says fondly, “There's nothing weird about you and if you want to share, then i'll be right here with you”

Alex smiles at him.

Jack stays tucked up in bed, half-sitting, half leaning against the headboard as Alex heads downstairs, saying he'll be right back.

Alex returns with a box in his hands, pulls the vial of insulin out and holds it out towards Jack with a grin.

“Here, put this under your arm for a bit”

“But it'll be cold!” Jack protests, because he knows that Alex's insulin is neatly lined up in the fridge, and fridges are cold. And he's all nice and warm.

Alex laughs, “And that's why you're doing it and i'm not”

Because it's Alex, Jack obliges, tries not to make a very unattractive face as he nestles the cold glass underneath the warmth of his bare arm. S'fucking cold.

Alex pats him on the head, “If it's closer to room temperature there'll be less air bubbles and as you will soon see, air bubbles are our number one enemy and also it stings like a bitch when it's cold”

Jack nods, kind of happy that Alex is taking his reassurances that it won't be weird, and including him and stuff in a way that's not going to completely sail over his head. Confident Alex is extremely attractive.

Alex rummages through the box he'd left at the end of the bed, tossing a little mountain of things into a pile by Jack's knees.

“Right,” Alex says, confident expression wavering for just a moment and Jack gives him a thumbs up, it's okay, you're okay, This is cool.

“I probably should've explained this ages ago, but there just never seemed a right time and-”

“Alex,” Jack interrupts, because once Alex gets going he'll get worried and Jack doesn't want that. “The right time is whenever you're ready”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In all honesty, Alex hasn't been this nervous about explaining something to Jack since that very first confession. He's not sure if it's because Rian's always been there to buffer between them, or if he's just been holding onto this little piece of himself for a bit too long.

It's probably the latter. It's not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but for some reason he's never wanted Jack to see him pulling his site out and replacing it, the routine he's got down to near science.

It's just always seemed too weird, like a line he shouldn't cross even though he knows Jack wouldn't mind at all, would be happy to sit and watch and yeah, sometimes it'd be nice to have an extra pair of hands that wouldn't require getting one of his parents.

But, just, once he'd decided to hide it, he couldn't just decide to unhide it and there never seemed like a good time, the right moment.

But if Jack can stand up for him, fight in his corner, then Alex should be able to share this with him.

And it is pretty funny to watch Jack's face with a cold vial of insulin wedged into somewhere previously warm and toasty.

He can show Jack and be casual about it and maybe, maybe it'll be fun, joking around as he searches for the right words to explain what he's doing.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

By the time Jack's helped, (And really, by helped all he did was ask lots of questions and hide his head in his hands when Alex snapped his infusion set in place because there's a needle inside another fucking needle and there is no way Alex is convincing him that it's painless) there's cars pulling into the driveway and noise downstairs and it looks like their plans for breakfast are going to be gatecrashed.

The highlight of a gatecrashed breakfast though is that Jack ends up sitting next to Lacey, the two of them the only ones electing to have Lucky Charms for breakfast, comparing the ratio of marshmallow to cereal, trading rainbows for horseshoes whilst Alex looks at that them with a baffled expression.

He just doesn't understand. Lucky Charms are an experience that is best shared and as Jack leans across the table to wedge a few pieces of sacred, perfectly soft marshmallow in Alex's mouth, Cameron watches but says nothing.


	84. Chapter 84

By the time all of the extended Gaskarth family are farewelled and on the road back to their homes it's just after lunch and Jack can't say he's filled with any kind of motivation to do anything drag but Alex to bed and demand snuggles.

Unfortunately, Alex doesn't share that opinion and is insisting they head over to Zack's to hang out with him and Rian.

“But i'm tired” Jack whines playfully because really, he could never deny Alex anything so of course he's going to agree to go. Just not yet.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They end up in the Merricks living room and much to Jack's dismay, Alex has attached himself to Rian like a leech and makes no attempt to move when Jack tries to make wibbly eyes at him. Psh. He'll just cuddle with Zack then.

For some bizarre reason that Jack is unsure of, it's somehow decided that they're going to play Scrabble with Zack's parents, one of whom is actually an English teacher.

Fortunately they break up into two teams and Jack's lucky enough to get Mrs Merrick on side because well, games that involve making words go into other words isn't one of his strengths. Jack's a Hungry, Hungry Hippos kind of guy.

Alex though, on the opposing team with Rian and Mr Merrick, is having a ridiculous amount of fun for someone who's team is losing by about seventy million points.

“Jack” Zack's mother says in a fond, yet clearly bewildered tone because perhaps she doesn't encounter those unfamiliar with scrabble all that often, “Floq isn't a recognised word”

Jack's eye twitches. The only other letter he has is an I. Floq is his last chance.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thankfully they break for an afternoon snack of delicious chocolate chip pancakes courtesy of Mr Merrick and between the four of them, Jack doesn't want to know how many they've actually eaten.

Full of food, the four of them find themselves in Zack's room, messing around with guitars, or in Rian's case, a single snare drum. They're not really playing anything in particular, just switching between familiar parts of songs they all know and it's nice and relaxing and Alex makes the cutest face when he's concentrating.

“Let's play Wonderwall” Alex announces suddenly, looking up from where he's been attempting to contort his fingers into increasingly useless and mildly disturbing positions on the frets.

Zack and Rian simultaneously raise their eyebrows, look at each other and then back to Alex, who merely smiles at them.

“Any particular reason?”

“I feel like we need to have moment?”

“Alex,” Zack says, one of his eyebrows still raised. “You can't just make a moment happen, that's not how it works”

Alex grins, “Zachary, it's the day after thanksgiving and therefore, we're going to have a moment and it's going to be beautiful”

Jack snickers, and then frowns.

“Uhm, Alex?”

“Yeah?”

“I don't actually know how to play Wonderwall”

It's not exactly a song that pops up on Jack's playlist all that often and certainly not one he'd though he'd ever need to play – Hey There Delilah generally covered him when he needed to impress a girl.

Alex shifts his guitar to the side, spreads his legs and pats the spot between them.

“I'll teach you”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's probably not the worst cover of Wonderwall to have ever been played and Alex sounds gorgeous as always but Alex's idea to teach him had kind of turned into Alex playing guitar over the top of him, chin resting on his shoulder and it's really nice, having Alex pressed against his back, the four of them swaying as though they're around a campfire, Zack and Rian as close as they can get without getting in each others way and whether you can create a moment or not, it does feel kind of special.

After all, Alex is his Wonderwall.


	85. Chapter 85

The downside to Thanksgiving being over is that they have to go back to school for two and a half more weeks and Jack's certain that no learning is going to happen, that it's just to stop parents having to put up with their kids for too long before Christmas.

Christmas, which is Jack's favourite time of year apart from Halloween and his birthday. Jack loves Christmas, loves hanging his stocking over the fireplace and helping his mom pick out the perfect tree, getting tangled in the Christmas lights (Every single fucking year, no matter how neatly he puts them away), and of course, eggnog and Home Alone, both of which Jack's kind of in love with. His mom always lets him have a little of the whiskey she keeps for 'cooking' in his eggnog and lets him decorate the little gingerbread replica of their house that's become tradition, although Jack's not sure how it's going to go this year with the new house and all but even if it's a failure it'll taste delicious so he's not that concerned.

The other great thing about Christmas of course, is chocolate advent calendars. This year Jack's got a Batman themed one and disappointingly they didn't have any Wonder Woman ones because he's sure Alex would've liked one. Instead, his boyfriends stuck with a nice, generic Christmas themed one.

Every night, Alex calls him at exactly 8.30 and they open that days window together, comparing the different shapes and the location of the window because the people who made them didn't really think things through, making day three what is essentially, Batmans dick. Best day ever.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jack was right about school. They're in science and absolutely no one is interested in learning in the slightest, nor Mrs Burrows in teaching them anything.

'Just don't blow anything up' She'd said and opened the doors to the store room.

Him and Alex are making food colouring rainbows on litmus paper and Zack and Rian are playing with several giant magnets across the room.

Or rather, they would be if either of them could remember what order the colours of rainbow go in.

“Blue comes after green, i'm sure” Alex says, trying to pull the purple mixture they've made out of Jack's hands.

“No, it's purple” Jack argues back, because he's sure it's purple. Reasonably sure. He kind of just wants Alex to be wrong. It's probably kind of sad that neither of them know the colours of the rainbow.

“Blue”

“Purple”

“Blue!”

“Purple!”

“Guys!” Rian's voice comes across the room, clearly amused and then he makes his way over to them, magnet in hand.

“First off, it's not purple it's indigo and secondly, it's blue.”

“Hah!” Alex grins, waving the blue bottle of colouring victoriously. “I win!”

Rian just shakes his head.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Accurate rainbow achieved they head to the cafeteria, both of their hands stained with colouring.

“Come over, my mom promised she'd make caramel slice today” Jack says, mouth stuffed full of sandwich and yeah, watching Alex's eyes light up whenever he mentions his mothers cooking is never not going be adorable – Jack's just happy that someone else appreciates her excellence because it's become painfully obvious that he's not going to carry any such culinary skills.

“I'm there” Alex says brightly, pressing his foot into Jack's thigh affectionately.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As promised, Jack's mom had indeed made caramel slice, leaving a neat stack of them cooling on a plate as she heads out for a work party, hugging both him and Alex goodbye,

“You two behave yourselves now” She says with a wink and Jack can't help but blush, holding the front open for his mother, resisting the urge to nudge her out the door.

“Of course we will” Alex says sweetly, the picture of innocence.

They take the plate of slice and head upstairs, Jack digging through a pile of miscellaneous junk to find his copy of Mario-kart and his extra controller.

Silence reigns while they make short work of their treat, Alex's fingers covered in melted chocolate and Jack's more than willing to help clean him up, Alex giggling as he does.

“Best out of three?” Alex suggests.

“Five” Jack negotiates, because he's awesome at Mario-kart.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jack loses to the tune of 4-1. Alex is particularly good at Rainbow Bridge, Jack's weakness. That and Alex is absolutely, definitely a dirty rotten cheater.

They're done with their games but neither of them have moved, just sitting sort of curled together on the floor at the foot of Jack's bed, until Alex puts down his controller and pokes Jack in the shoulder.

“Hmm?” Jack's still kind of staring at the screen, Alex's high score still being shown. It's going to take him a million years to even come close.

“I think,”Alex whispers, lips suddenly very close to his ear. “That you should stop staring at my awesome score and kiss me.”

A shiver runs up Jack's spine.

“Do you now?” He says teasingly because really, who in their right mind is going to say no to kissing Alex?

No one, that's who.


	86. Chapter 86

After that first time, watching Alex change his site becomes a regular fixture of their time together but it's only now, some two weeks later that Jack realises something very important as he's still snuggled under the covers on a Saturday morning, insulin tucked in next to him like tiny, fragile baby, Alex still in the process of finding all his essential bits and pieces, old site tossed into the trash can by the bedroom door.

“You're naked” Jack blurts, not having enough time to put his realisation in a proper sentence.

Alex pauses in his shuffling, turning around to face him with a wry expression.

“Uh, no, i'm not” He says, and it's true, Alex might be shirtless but he's still wearing pants.

“You're naked” Jack says again, making grabby hands for Alex to come towards him. Alex does and Jack fits his fingers into the curve of Alex's hips, stroking across the soft skin before moving to poke Alex's stomach.

“You have seen me without a shirt before” Alex says bemusedly from above him but he's still standing there, letting Jack do whatever.

Jack shrugs, looking up to meet Alex's curious gaze.

“It's not that,” Jack says quietly, because this feels like something he needs to whisper for. “You're nearly always connected to your pump” He starts, and at Alex's slight frown he squeezes with his fingers a little.

“And that's not the issue okay Alex I swear to god that it only makes me love you more okay, but I just realised that there's all this skin I never get to touch properly and I should definitely do that”

Alex smiles at him, a properly fond expression that melts Jack's heart every time.

“I keep telling you you don't have to be so gentle you know, we've been over this”

“The point is that if you can spare five minutes, I want to kiss you all over”

Alex bends down to kiss the top of Jack's head.

“I think I can find the time”

Jack leans forward a little, nudges his nose into Alex's bellybutton, the other boy letting out a little squeak of surprise.

“Now?”

“Now'd be good” Jack murmurs against the warm skin before he lifts his eyes to stare into Alex's chocolate ones.

“Only if now's good 'course” He adds because as much as he wants to pay Alex's soft, soft skin some rather deserved attention, it's got to be fine for him to stay disconnected a little longer.

Alex draws away from him and throws himself across the end of the bed, wide grin in place.

“You coming to love on me or what?” He teases and yeah, that's not an invitation Jack's going to turn down.

He unfolds the covers, remembers the vial of insulin still tucked in beside him, picks it up and waves it Alex in question.

“Bedside table, I think you've mothered it enough” Alex says and Jack sets it down gently before climbing out of his warm little nest and over onto Alex, settling on his front between Alex's spread legs, resting his chin on Alex's stomach.

As he starts to pepper Alex’s skin – which really is all soft and gorgeous with gentle kisses, five minutes quickly turns into ten and Alex just lies quiet beneath him, pliant beyond the occasional shift of his hips and little breathy noises as he cards his fingers through Jack's hair.

It's nice, being so close together in a more innocent way, no pressing need to turn things into a no pants party. No that Jack against no pants parties, of course.

He spends a few more minutes laving his tongue over Alex before he stops, crawls up his boyfriends body to catch his lips in a soft kiss before he burrows his nose into Alex's neck and drapes his weight over the other boy, wiggling to get comfortable.

Neither of them speak, Alex just wrapping his hands around Jack's waist and squishing him back.

Eventually though, Alex twists his head the side and sighs in a mournful fashion into Jack's hair.

“I love you but we've got to get up now”

“Mmno, i'm comfy” Jack says playfully, scraping his teeth long Alex's collarbone.

Alex's laughter resonates through both of them, Jack refusing to move even when Alex's fingers come to poke at his side.

“Ja-aaack” Alex whines.

“Aleee-x” Jack whines back.

They're only playing, Jack knows that Alex is quite capable of shoving him out of the way but it's nice to come out of their little snuggle session like this, giggling like schoolgirls.

He rolls off of Alex, rights himself so he's sitting cross-legged in the middle of the bed so he can watch.

He doesn't ask so many questions any more, just watches quietly, being an extra pair of hands if Alex asks.

Jack's zoned out, having a nice little daydream about surfing in Hawaii when Alex's voice prods him unceremoniously back into reality.

“Jack? Jack?”

“Gnuh?” Is Jack's coherent response, batting his eyelashes up at Alex who's standing by the edge of the bed, pump clipped to his trackpants and infusion set in his hand.

“I said, do you wanna help me with this ?”

Clearly, Alex has some kind of deathwish because Jack is absolutely not qualified to do anything but hold stuff and pass things as requested and he remains unconvinced that using something spring loaded to insert a needle inside a needle is a painfree experience, no matter Alex's reassurances.

“You don't have to, it's just easier with an extra pair of hands”

“I don't want to hurt you” Jack mumbles, unable to lie in the face of Alex being so sincere and open with him.

Alex stays silent as he flicks the set over in his palm as he reaches for his packet of alcohol wipes and okay, Jack's not going to deny his request, apprehensive or not. Not when Alex is actually asking for his help.

He slides to the edge of the bed, swings his feet over the edge, looks Alex in the eye.

“You're absolutely sure you want my help?”

“I trust you” Is all Alex says, and Jack's heart turns into a little melted puddle of squishy feelings.

“Okay” Jack breathes quietly, “What am I doing?”

Alex gives him a smile.

“I wanna put it here” Alex pokes a finger into his lower back, “Because after breakfast i'm going to demand more kissing and it's the holiday season and change is like a holiday, right?”

Jack snickers. “My mom says that”

“Joyce is a smart, sensual woman”

Jack kicks Alex's ankle.

“You keep away from my mother” He says sternly, “She's too much woman for you”

Tension broken, Alex hands over the set. Up close, it seems more intimidating.

“All you have to do is push the button” Alex informs him. “Nothing overly technical”

A button. Jack examines the blue plastic disc in his hand, needle on one side and yes, a big white button on the other. Less complicated than he'd thought it would be, having always assumed that Alex made it look so easy through experience but hell, anyone can push a button, right?

Jack turns it over in his hands, eyeing it off like it's going to leap up and attack him. And it is spring loaded, so technically it could.

“And you're sure there's no way I can fuck this up?”

Alex laughs, “Jack, there's like eight year olds doing this I promise it's pretty much fail-safe”

The idea of eight year olds makes Jack frown a little. It's kind of awful to think about.

But, if they can do it, surely he can.

He presses it against Alex's skin, Alex trying not to twist around too much but bending an arm to help him put it in just the right spot, the soft flesh closer to his sides than his spine.

Theirs eyes meet, and Alex smiles in way that Jack thinks is supposed to be reassuring but actually isn't all that reassuring.

“You're thinking too much, just go” Alex wheedles, pulling his hands away.

Okay, okay. Jack clenches his jaw and tries not to think of all the ways this could go horribly wrong, holds the site firmly against Alex's skin with one hand, button with the other and presses it downward with a crackly kind of snap. He's half-expecting Alex to start screaming bloody murder but all he gets is a jerky inhale of breath.

He pulls the inserter away to reveal Alex's site and it doesn't look any different from when Alex does it and honestly, Jack's kind of pleased with himself.

He didn't kill Alex.

Alex spins round to hug him then, kisses his cheek.

“That wasn't so bad, was it?” He teases and Jack tightens their hug, can't help but think he should be saying those words to Alex instead.

“Now, breakfast?”


	87. Chapter 87

When Jack comes home from school on Tuesday (Only three days of school to go!) his mothers car is in the drive.

Which granted, isn't that unusual, sometimes she gets out of work early. But Jack just has a feeling he's not going to like what’s on the other side of the door.

“Jack, honey!”

His mothers decidedly cheerful and happy greeting isn't what he's expecting. She's in the living room, tapping away at the Ipad she'd just bought for herself, mug of tea on the coffee table in front of her.

“Hi mom” Jack says cautiously, edging across the room.

“Don't look at me like that” His mother chides, “You'd think I was handing you a death sentence and I haven't even opened my mouth”

Jack curls up in the armchair opposite his mother and pouts, just because he can.

“So you do have something awful to tell me then?”

“It's not a bad thing, just” His mother sighs, “I know you're not going to be completely overjoyed – we're going home for Christmas, the whole family is”

In the grand scheme of things it's probably not so bad but the pang of hurt in Jack's chest as he realises that he won't be able to spend Christmas with Alex well, hurts.

“But mom-”

His mother shushes him.

“Jack, I know you want to spend Christmas with Alex but this is family we're talking about and you know how long it's been since everyone's been together”

But Alex is Jack's family too. His mother is right though, even before they'd moved they hadn't really had a proper extended family Christmas and they're important to Jack as well and he knows how much his mother adores getting together with her sisters and driving her mother and father insane.

It's all completely logical and yet knowing that he'll be without his boyfriend still draws a frown onto Jack's face.

“We don't have to stay for New Year, do we?”

His mother smiles and shakes her head. “Even I don't love my sisters that much” She says and Jack snickers, thankful that at least he'll be getting a new years kiss out of Alex, even if they can't open presents together.

He's not entirely sure how to break the news to Alex, neither of them particularly organised just yet, they haven't really talked about what they're doing but Jack can only assume that Alex would assume they'll see each other at some point during Christmas day.

Jack decides on the traditional cryptic text which personally, just might be the wittiest thing he's come up for a while.

All I want for Christmas is you – Jack

If you liked it then you should’ve put a ring on it? :P – Alex

His phone rings then, and Alex's voice chirps down the line.

“So when's the wedding?”

Jack giggles despite himself, before he clears his throat.

“Uhm, the wedding might be on hold?”

“Everything okay?” The bounce is gone from Alex's voice and okay, maybe Jack's making this a bit more dramatic than it needs to be.

“Iwon'tbehereforchristmas” He says in rush.

“Oh,” Alex says. “Where will you be?”

“We're going back home, to hang with the family”

There's a huff down the line and Jack raises an eyebrow even though he knows Alex can't see him.

“What?”

“Dude, I thought you were like, going to tell me you were dying or running away with a cute Swedish girl or something”

“No, but I just want you to know that I really, really wanted to spend Christmas with you”

Jack doesn't want Alex to ever think that he doesn't want to see him.

“And I really want to spend Christmas with you, and we can”

Jack pauses. The entire conversation so far has been about how he's not going to be seeing Alex for Christmas.

“What?”

“I'll give your your presents to take with you and you can Skype me when you open them and vice versa and we can do the whole hugging the computer screen thing”

Alex Gaskarth is a genius.

“You're a genius”

Seriously, why hadn't Jack thought of something so simple as the wonders of technology?

Alex laughs, “Bow down to my intelligence, mere mortal”

Of course, Christmas plans aside, there's just one more problem Jack figures he should tackle sooner rather then later.

“Speaking of intelligence Alex, what do you want for Christmas?”

“A watermelon.” Alex says, because he's difficult like that.


	88. Chapter 88

“Zack could you possibly take any longer the ice is going to melt before we get there” Alex whines.

“Yeah Zack, winters gonna be over by the time you're ready to go”

All four of them have ditched the last day of school, cutting classes to head for a fun-filled morning of ice skating which Jack is looking forward to doing with all limbs available to protect himself. They're all ready, skates buckled and Alex in his matching purple beanie and mittens, Jack in a borrowed pair of red gloves of his own.

Except Zack, who is apparently a perfectionist when it comes to just how tight his skates are.

“It has to be just right” He says, fiddling with the straps for the millionth time.

“Babe, they'll be fine” Rian finally interjects, leaning down to next to his boyfriend and tugging at the straps himself. “Look, they're plenty tight enough”

“I guess” Zack reluctantly agrees. “Let's go”

Despite his half-assed prayers before he steps onto the ice, Jack hasn't magically gotten any better at skating and he's the worst out of all of them, Zack and Alex laughing like maniacs as they push and pull at each other, spinning themselves about.

Jack's not jealous. He's not. Alex is having a great time with Zack but fuck, Jack would like to be the one twirling him like they're an Olympic bound figure skating pair.

Rian slides to stop beside him, sending a fine splatter of ice over Jack's skates. Even Rian is reasonably competent.

“You're pouting”

“I am not” Jack says, despite knowing very well that yes, he is pouting.

Rian just smiles in that all knowing way of his.

“C'mon, we'll let the lovebirds do their thing while we get hot chocolate”

Jack tries to not smile.

“With little marshmallows?”

“As many as you can fit”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jack can fit quite a lot of mini marshmallows into a Styrofoam cup. He's almost waiting for the sheer bulk of them to merge into the chocolate liquid to form a marshmallow log. He's leaning against Rian, the two of them sitting on the edge of the rink, Zack and Alex still skating with enthusiasm as Jack busies himself with adding his sachets of sugar.

“Oh my god” Rian says suddenly and Jack's head jerks up, following Rian's' line of sight.

Zack's skating in casual circles, one hand locked with Alex's as Alex, looking gleeful, lets Zack propel him around which is quite fine until he fucking bends his knees and jumps clean off the glossy white ice, landing with a thud and a victorious fist pump.

“They're insane, both of them” Jack says solemnly. “Should we be filming this for funniest home videos, cause someone’s going to eat ice pretty soon”

Secretly, he hopes it's Zack but either way, either one of them landing on their asses is going to be hilarious.

As Jack sips at his drink, Alex and Zack's routine of sorts gets more complicated and Jack's heart is in his throat as he watches his boyfriend leap half into Zack's arms before being spun around and sent back on his way.

“Yup,” Rian says. “They're insane”

“Should we be trying to stop them?”

Jack doesn't actually want anyone to get hurt.

Rian shrugs. “Are you really going to be able to go out there and stop them from having the amount of fun they are?”

Rian makes a good point. Better the ice be responsible for taking the smile of Alex's face.

Jack flicks a few marshmallows out of his cup with his tongue, melting them into a mush in his mouth.

“Jack, Jack!”

Alex skates over to them, leaning over the edge of the rink, huge grin on his face, Zack following behind.

“I can fly and it's awesome” He announces cheerfully and Jack reaches over to bump their fists together.

“You're going to die” Rian says.

Alex pouts, “I'm going to live forever you jerks, sitting there being lame”

“Hey” Jack whines, “Don't harsh on the wonders of hot chocolate”

“Anyway” Alex continues, “You should totally pay attention cause Zack and I have perfected our routine”

He spins around then, grabbing Zack's hand and dragging him along behind to the top end of the rink before waving madly at them. Jack waves back, drags his phone out of his pocket because there is no way he's not filming this.

The song playing isn't anything particularly memorable, just some top forty hit but neither Alex nor Zack seem to care as they start skating in tandem and it's quite nice to watch, the way they're both smiling and laughing and the occasional panicked expression as they slip a little and it's going pretty well, from what Jack can tell and they're coming up to their finale he guesses, something that's going to involve Alex defying the laws of physics he's sure and as Jack watches him skate away from Zack, spin and then skate back a lot faster, he closes his eyes and just holds his phone out in front of him. He can watch it back.

The music plays on and Jack clenches his eyes shut and for a moment there's nothing and there's a rather satisfying thud and Jack's eyes fly open fully expecting to see Alex sprawled out his back on the ice, drenched in blood and maybe missing a hand or something (He's seen 'Ice Skating Injuries Montage #3' a few times) but no, his glorious, amazing boyfriend has a successfully landed whatever it was that he was doing and Jack lets a grin slide onto his face, jumping to his feet and applauding.

Alex lets out a loud 'Yeah!' and they're probably lucky that the rinks mostly emptying because otherwise someone would surely complain and as Alex starts skating back towards them singing We Are The Champions in a beautiful falsetto before he promptly trips over his own feet and slams straight down on his ass, Zack laughing way too hard to even bother trying to help him to his feet.

Jack figures he'll use this opportunity to rescue Alex, pry him away from Zack's masterful skating skills. Oh, and laugh at him in close range because really, he can land a twirling jump or whatever but can't skate a straight line. And Jack's got it all on film.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That afternoon they're all sprawled exhaustedly in Alex's living room with a giant bowl of chips and glasses of raspberry cordial, snuggled up in a mountain of blankets stolen from around the house.

Every so often, Jack'll look at Rian or Zack and they'll look back at him and then they'll all look at Alex and sure enough, they'll start laughing again. There's no doubt about the epic butt bruise Alex is gonna have and because he's Alex, he isn't afraid to share.

“It's all warm and throbbing” Alex whines, and Rian chokes on his chip.

“I'm sure Jack can help you with that” Zack says smoothly and Jack thumps him on the head with a pillow before leaning over to whisper in Alex's ear.

“I can totally help with that”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rian and Zack take the spare room as they decide on a group sleepover, Alex sending them upstairs with a stern warning about doing the frickety frack, Rian just winking and slipping his arm around Zack's waist as they go.

In Alex's bed, Jack pulls Alex against him, a thought popping into his head that's too good to ignore.

“I know what i'm getting you for Christmas” He whispers into the dark.

“Hmm?”

“One of those doughnut cushions for the huge ass bruise you're gonna have on your ass”


	89. Chapter 89

In spite of the impending event that is Christmas and Alex's glorious ass bruise (Which Jack has of course had the pleasure of kissing better) and the fact that he hasn't even begun to think about what he's getting everyone, there's really been only one thing on Jack's mind recently.

He doesn't even know why really, it's just a thought he'd had in passing and now it's on his mind all the time, every spare second he has. What would it be like if Alex was in charge in the bedroom for once. Not that he's not, because Alex is a sassy bitch when he wants to be, demanding and unashamed to ask for whatever he wants but they've never switched places. Alex always bottoms for him.

Jack's bottomed before, just twice. His first time with a man nearly old enough to be his father, a quick hook-up found online, Jack desperate to know what it was like and while it hadn't been the most romantic experience, it hadn't been completely awful either. He wonders what it'd be like with Alex, someone he trusts completely, someone he loves.

The never ending chain of what-ifs leads to Jack going to bed early, pulling back his covers, wedging a pillow and a towel under himself before grabbing his bottle of lube and exploring.

Jack's fingered himself before, but it's been awhile and when he's by himself it always seems like it would take too long, be easier to just come from his hand on his dick.

He knows it can feel good, has seen and felt the way Alex's body pulls his fingers in, every muscle in his body sparking with pleasure, the gorgeous noises it pulls from his throat but Jack can't say it's ever felt that way to him. Maybe it's a thing he should discuss with Alex, since you know, he and every other guy Jack's ever known has liked it just fine. Maybe he's broken.

For now though, Jack remains hesitant, pressing only the tip of a finger inside himself, intimidated by the possibilities.. It's crazy because he's more than happy to spread Alex open for him but he can't do it to himself.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Whenever he's not thinking about Alex doing horrible, dirty things to him, Jack's trying to put his official Christmas list together.

He knows his mothers been mentioning wanting a new set of plates (She knows him all too well) so that's one person down and he doesn't have to bring anything for their family, so it's mainly just Alex and Rian and Zack.

He's got a tentative idea for what to get Zack, something from the skate shop, he's seen some awesome glow in the dark stuff coming in lately.

Rian well, Jack wants to get Rian something exceptionally awesome. But apart from knowing that he's smitten with Zack, adores Alex to pieces, is great at drums and shit at guitar, Jack doesn't know all that much about the guy.

But he knows someone who does. He texts Zack.

Yo what the fuck do I get Rian for Christmas? - Jack

It has to be awesome – Jack

It's a good half an hour before Zack replies.

Anything but vanilla, candle shop in the mall – the fancy one. I told you nothing but Ri may or may not have a soft spot for the ones shaped like flowers.

Flower candles, Rian Dawson. Who knew?

So it's just Alex who's left and much like his birthday, he's refusing to admit anything that he actually wants.

There's no good shows in the foreseeable future Jack can drag him to and Jack's kind of stumped. Maybe he really will just get his boyfriend a watermelon. He could like, carve it into a dick shape or something, although he can't imagine Isobel (Or his mother) being too thrilled with that idea. He's pretty sure he read somewhere once about a guy fucking a watermelon, so maybe Alex would be into that.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next weekend, Jack drags Alex Christmas shopping. In retrospect, they probably shouldn't have left it so late. The stores are crammed with people and more than once Jack sees Alex cringe as they make their way through cramped aisles and jam-packed escalators. He puts his bags into his other hand, reaches for Alex's arm, links their arms together.

Alex gives him a questioning look and Jack smiles “Don't want to have to call over the PA if you get lost” He jokes, and Alex grins back at him.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nearly three long, cramped hours later they're almost done, lists crossed off and a metric fuckton of bags in their arms and there's just a few more stops before they can finally escape the echoing crowd. Even Jack's starting to get a bit iffy about the sheer amount of people and he turns to look for Alex, having dropped their arms in a slightly quieter corner of the homewares store they're in, except that Alex isn't in front of the carved metal rooster stand like he was a minute ago, a group of old men in his place. Fuck. So much for not loosing his boyfriend in the pre-Christmas shopping frenzy.

Jack walks to end of the aisle then back again and by some miracle, Alex has reappeared back in front of the roosters.

“Where'd the fuck you go?” Jack whispers just loud enough to be heard, linking arms with Alex again.

“Thought I saw something my mom might like”

Alex has been looking for something for his mom for the last two hours, even Jack's managed to pick his mother up a nice set of plates (With kittens wearing bows because hello, adorable – and on sale) but apparently Alex is excessively indecisive which knowing Alex as he does, isn't all that surprising.

“And the reason you're not holding it right now is?" He questions, and Alex just presses closer to him.

“I love my mom, but two hundred for a cake stand is a bit much”

Jack agrees and they begin the slow, treacherous journey back out of the store, the crowd impossibly bigger than when they had entered.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Their next destination is a skate shop that Jack is hoping has glow in the dark wheels because seriously, he's checked them out online and they look bad ass and by miracle of all miracles he manages to grab the last box, and a ridiculous 'I <3 Skater Boi's' sticker from sale bin to seal the deal. Zack is sorted.

He heads to find Alex, who had decided to avoid the epically long line of mothers and fathers with lists in hand at register. He's idly flicking through a stack of skating posters, chewing something.

“Whatcha got?”

Alex jumps and looks well, guilty as he swallows and Jack's admittedly curious as to why Alex has snacks he's not sharing (Jack could totally go for a snack shopping is hard) until his brain catches up with him and yeah, okay.

“You should've said something” He says quietly, just loud enough to be heard over the hustle and bustle of the store because he doesn't understand why Alex is here, hiding in the corner sneaking glucose tabs when they could've gone out to have lunch or something, which is actually next on their to do list anyway. Alex could've shared with him.

Alex looks sheepish.

“It's just, I, I didn't want to make it a thing and disturb you when you were busy” Alex mumbles, eyes cast downwards and Jack can't help but to pull him into a one armed hug, squish Alex a little.

“Fuck Alex, it wouldn't have been a thing, you know that”

Alex lets himself be manhandled and Jack squeezes him tightly.

“You're okay, right?”

Alex smiles at him, “'M'fine, just didn't want to turn this into an actual shop till you drop moment”

Jack laughs despite himself, letting Alex go and rearranging the bags he's got in his hands. Admittedly, it still pains him a little to know that sometimes Alex won't share things, especially important things, with him.

“I was thinking about it being lunch time anyway” Jack says, “If that works for you”

Alex grins up at him. “Lead the way”

"First though, we're gonna find a chair and take a minute to sort through all this shit" Jack says, waggling his bags around. He knows Alex would totally follow him around and pretend to be fine but Jack isn't having it, is going to ensure his boyfriend sits down for a least a little while.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Of course, almost every single seat in the food court is occupied when they get there and it's cacophony of sound and yeah, Jack's not even going to try and drag Alex through the melee.

“We could go to the plaza?”

Down the road a few blocks from the mall they're in is a smaller shopping centre and since Jack is reasonably sure the entire population of Maryland state is here, there should be space in the plaza food court.

“Sounds good”

They worm their way through the throngs of people making their way through the entrance to the mall and finally spill out to the side, where it's quieter, away from the car park.

Jack lets' Alex go, spreading his arms out as much as possible with all the bags he's got.

“Freedom, glorious freedom!”


	90. Chapter 90

Four days later and Jack's mostly done with his shopping and his decidedly sub-par wrapping. He's hoping to compensate with a lot of bows, ribbon and huge gift tags. And Christmas themed sticky-tape because it's awesome.

He's at home right now, waiting for Alex to come over. The house smells amazing, like cinnamon and rainbows, his mom currently baking the components of their gingerbread house. They might not be here for Christmas but as Barakats, they're loathe to break tradition.

Jack's been banished from the kitchen after breaking two consecutive bits of gingerbread trying to move them from baking tray to cooling rack. Him and Alex have been assigned the task of helping her decorate later on.

It means a lot to Jack that his mother would bring up inviting Alex to help them, that she approves of his boyfriend enough to let him into their little family activity. At the very least, she'd said, she could be sure that unlike him, Alex wouldn't eat all the decorations before they made it to the house.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Joyce, Jack's being inappropriate with the icing!” Alex calls across the kitchen and Jack, quite aware that his mother will probably smack him over the head with her wooden spoon quickly smears the icing dick he's made on the roof of the gingerbread house into obscurity.

Alex is goddamn bitch.

“Traitor” He whispers under his breath, kicking Alex in the shin.

“Ow!” Alex yelps, “Now he's kicking me!”

His mother comes back from the counter where she'd been mixing up sugar and coconut to make snow and smirks at him.

Jack makes his very best innocent expression.

“Jack,” She says casually, “Are you being mean to Alex during the festive season?”

“No” Jack says sweetly, knowing full well that the likelihood of his mom believing him is on the same par as Baltimore becoming a tropical paradise tomorrow.

“Oh,” She says, giving him a wink before dipping a hand into the bowl and letting a few pinches of the dusty sugar float onto Alex's head, Jack's eyes going wide.

“Alex, I believe there might be something in your hair” She says innocently and fuck, this so isn't fair, his mother and his boyfriend ganging up on him.

Alex reaches up to his hair and sure enough, the icing comes back a powered white on his fingers and Jack swears he sees a hint of true evil flash in Alex's eyes.

“You're so dead” Alex growls, grin betraying him.

“It wasn't me!” Jack shrieks, curling up on his chair.

“Are you seriously trying to tell me your mom put icing in my hair?”

“Yes!”

“Like I said, you're dead.”

Jack makes a run for it.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The gingerbread house is a glorious piece of architecture in the end, shaped somewhat like their house and smothered in yellow icing, a marshmallow snowman in the snowy front yard, skittles for rooftop Christmas lights and candy canes, spearmint leaves, sprinkles and chocolate buttons for decoration.

The best part of course, is eating the excess treats and little corners of gingerbread they hadn't used.

They're upstairs with their fragments on a plate, a coffee mug a third full of excess icing for them to dip their bits into, sitting cross-legged on Jack's bed.

“So” Alex says, licking his fingers in a completely inappropriate fashion. “Your mom is amazing”

Jack pouts. “Since she birthed me from her loins, am I amazing too?”

Alex leans overs and kisses his nose, lips sticky with sugar, smiles sweetly.

“Nope” He says and Jack opens his mouth to whine but Alex just mashes a sticky finger to his lips. “You're stupendously wonderfully amazing.”

That Jack supposes, he can live with.

They fall asleep, warm, snuggly and full of sugar, Alex setting an alarm to wake them an hour and a bit from now and Jack groans when it goes off, pressing into Alex's side. He requires more nap time.

Alex flicks the alarm off and stretches, leaning across Jack to reach for his meter case and Jack kind of zones out during the familiar routine, still half-asleep and quite content to lie here and hope he drifts back into slumber.

He's tried twice more to get more familiar with his body, chase the pleasure he’s more or less convinced is just on the other side of his mental block. But it's been fruitless, just leaves him with a half-hard cock and a sense of disappointment in himself.

He's tried porn, has no problem imagining Alex grabbing him, pinning him to the nearest surface and well, sticking it in. In a cute, romantic Alex way, of course.

His mind works just fine. It just won't let him actually put everything into practice.

Jack doesn't know how he's supposed to explain his complicated situation to Alex in a way that isn't going to totally freak him out. How do you start that kind of conversation?

Still, it's not really something Jack wants to carry into the new year. He loves Alex, and wants to be with him like this.

He rolls over to face Alex.

“Hey, can I talk to you about something?” He asks, and he sees Alex's expression change, the way his boyfriend seems to curl into himself and away from him, so sure that the only conversation Jack could possibly want to have is something bad.

“It's nothing bad, I swear” Jack assures, cuddling Alex against him.

“It's just, i've been, IthinkIwanttohavesexwithyou” He blurts, palms sweaty and cheeks no doubt a proper shade of crimson.

Alex's forehead creases in confusion. “But we already- oh.” Jack sees the light go on and suddenly Alex is smiling at him, a weirdly soft expression.

“If you want to, then I am totally available” Alex says, winking.

Jack kisses Alex's forehead. That's the easy part over.

Alex must notice something not quite right with him, because he cuddles back.

“If you're just saying that because you think I want you to, you don't have to” Alex says, “I mean, of course I want to but you know I love you and what we're doing now is just fine”

Alex is just the sweetest, most caring human ever.

Jack takes a deep breath.

“It's just, uhm, i'm kind of really nervous” He mumbles, embarrassed because really, he isn't exactly an innocent blushing virgin here.

“Jack, if you want to, we're not in a rush okay, whenever you're ready is okay with me”

That’s the problem, Jack is having trouble convincing himself that he'll ever be ready, even if he really, really wants to. All he knows is that he absolutely wants Alex in every sense of the word and it's about time he made good on that, nervous or not.


	91. Chapter 91

On Christmas Eve morning (And by morning Jack really does mean morning – it's barely five and it's awful) they start the long drive back to South Carolina.

Fortunately his mom is more than happy to let him pick the music, provided it's nothing 'too loud or offensive to us old people' and pick the places they stop at for food.

Telling Alex seems to have lifted a weight off his chest he didn't even know was there, the other boy informing him that he absolutely would not make good on Jack's request until after Christmas, apparently very serious about not trying to rush him into anything.

Which is very sweet because Alex is amazing but it kind of means that Jack now has to spend Christmas with his family whilst incredibly sexually frustrated. He doesn't need to be sharing a room with a bunch of his cousins and wake up with an Alex-boner. He's already enough of an outcast.

The roads are packed and slippery as per the season, but it's a fairly stress-free trip and it's just after the sun has set that they pull into his Aunt Lynns house, joining the plethora of other cars already sprawled along the driveway.

Even after less than a year in a proper city, their little semi-rural town seems unfamiliar and empty. Jack never was one for farms and wide open spaces.

The second Jack steps out of the car he's being attacked – they're a very affectionate family and yes, that includes the worst kind of affection of all, cheek pinching.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jack wakes up Christmas morning thankfully without a boner. There might be a crick in his back though from sleeping on the floor. He'd supposed to be sharing a blow-up mattress with his eleven year old cousin James, but the little fucker is a kicker.

After family breakfast, a proper spread of pancakes, waffles, bacon, sausages, scrambled eggs, toast and beans everyone heads to sit around the tree, Jack's youngest cousins handing out presents to everyone, chattering in excited tones and even without Alex the atmosphere is infectious and Jack finds himself wedged between kids in an effort to be closest to the stack of presents.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

An hour or so later and all that's left is a mountain of wrapping paper, everyone heading outside to watch Jack's uncles attempt to relive their youth on their kids new skateboards, scooters and bikes.

His mom had been suitably thrilled with her places which he'd managed to sneak into the car and he's in love with the brand new blue Ipod he's scored, and the exceedingly awesomely generous gift card everyone in his family had chipped in for so he can get a new guitar. He can't wait to get back home and into the music store to pick out his new friend.

After a few epic stacks the men decide to abandon bike riding for everyones favourite family holiday activity, backyard football, Jack being recruited to even up the teams and look, Jack likes football okay, understands the game and how it works but he will freely admit his knowledge does not translate into any sort of football related athletic ability and he's fully aware of the barely hidden whispers everyones making behind his back, the laughter, like somehow his sexuality is directly related to his ability to play sport.

Rather than let it get to him though, Jack uses their mockery to his advantage, begging off to go and help the women make lunch. Which he will absolutely do, once he talks to Alex.

He slips upstairs to the now empty bedroom, drags his laptop out of his bag while he sends Alex a text.

Ready if you're ready :) - Jack

Five minutes, crackers – Alex

That works, it'll take Jack five minutes to get set up, open up Skype and drag his presents in front of him. He's tried shaking them to no avail, all of them apparently boxed and then wrapped, all feeling exactly the same under the paper because Alex has no sense of what's good and right in the world.

He sprawls out on his stomach on the empty bed, presents beside him and waits, anxious to see Alex's face.

The instant Alex's face appears on the screen Jack can't keep the grin off his face.

“Aleeeeex, merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas!” Alex chirps back and he's wearing one of those cracker hats, candy cane in the side of his mouth, lips pink with it and Jack really, really wants to be there, demand Alex shares his minty treat.

Alex blows him a kiss through the screen and Jack returns it, smiling dumbly at his boyfriend before he remembers hey, he's got presents. So does Alex of course, Jack having to get creative with his gift ideas.

“So, presents, can I go first?” He says, waggling the biggest box in Alex's view.

Alex laughs, “Go for it, I hope you like it”

Jack tears open the paper, finds a nondescript cardboard box within, taped like there's gold inside it or something.

Thankfully Jack is experienced in this sort of thing, and has brought scissors.

He digs them into the tape, popping the sides of the box open and pulling out the box within and holy shit, what's inside is fucking awesome, a psychedelic rainbow fleece poncho with matching hat. Like a snuggie but infinitely greater.

“Like it, dude this is fucking ace!”

Never one to wait, Jack promptly puts on his new warming winter clothes, popping his head through the bright clothing as he grins at Alex.

“Now, your turn”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It can safely be said that the two of them are excellent gift purchasers, Alex continuing his habit of saying thank you seven million times, smile bright as he unwraps Jack's gifts for him, a neat purple case with orange stars (Manly stars, of course) with all sorts of bits of elastic and little compartments Jack thinks would make a nice replacement for Alex's well-worn black meter case, a gift card to their favourite music store, and a DVD of ice-skating highlights, which Alex had been delighted with and Jack just knows he's going to be dragged out to be Alex's partner after he's watched it through.

Jack's thrilled with his other gifts as well, a set of novelty guitar picks with rather creative swear words on them and matching slippers to his poncho.

“Alright,” Alex says, checking his phone and pouting. “I'm being recruited for backyard bowls so i'm gonna have to love you and leave you”

Of course the Gaskarth's would play a nice, family friendly sport like bowls.

“Aw, okay” Jack holds his arms out and leans forward. “I demand a hug before you go”

Alex stretches his arms out as well, hoodie-clad chest the only visible part of him as he leans forward to connect their hug.

Jack can't wait to get back home.


	92. Chapter 92

By the time they're back home in Baltimore the day before new years Jack is all Christmased out. He'll be quite happy to not hear from any of their extended family for at least another year and is suddenly immensely thankful that he doesn't have any brothers and sisters because fuck, kids are only cute until they start conspiring against you in stupid little spy games that involve trying to hit a guy in the crotch with Nerf bullets. Not cool.

And he's missed his bed, his bed that he has to share with no one. Except Alex, but Alex is a much more welcome bed-sharing partner.

He's sprawled out on his very own bed when his mother comes up the stairs, knocks against his open door.

“I'm going to the store to get groceries, if you want me to drop you off at Alex's?”

Jack is all for surprise visits to Alex. They have plans to hang out tomorrow, spend new years eve together but hell, starting a day early is hardly going to be a problem for them.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

By the nature of the surprise visit Jack doesn't tell Alex he's coming, just steps up onto the Gaskarth's porch bag slung over his shoulder, rings the doorbell and even after all this time, he still thinks Alex having a doorbell is awesome. He should've bought his mom a doorbell for Christmas. Maybe mothers day?

He's hardly got time to register the door opening and Alex's face before he's being enveloped in a hug, Alex pressing their bodies together, wrapping his arms around Jack's neck, chin on his shoulder. It's not all that different from a typical Alex hug, especially when they've been deprived of each other but Alex isn't letting go, just leaning his weight against Jack and breathing against his neck.

Jack rubs Alex's back. “You okay?”

Alex makes a mumbly noise and there's a weird pressure on Jack's chest before he realises that Alex is tugging him forwards, stepping them backwards into the doorway and snapping the door shut with his foot, all while not loosening his hold in the slightest.

Jack goes with it because well, Alex is warm.

Eventually Alex pulls away, brings up a hand to run awkwardly through his hair.

“Sorry, I kinda got carried away but I missed you and-”

Jack folds Alex back into the hug, cutting off his words.

“Alexander, one never, ever apologises for hugs, you know that"

On closer inspection as they separate again, Alex doesn't look all that chipper, lips drawn into a weirdly off-putting expression and dark circles under his eyes.

“You look tired” Jack says, manhandling Alex into the living room, sitting down and tugging the other boy into his lap.

“I'm f-”

Jack digs his fingers into Alex's sides, drawing a strangled shriek from his lips.

“What was that even for” Alex whines, indignant.

“You were going to say you you're fine”

Alex snickers, smile lighting up his face for just moment.

“You're worse than Rian, you know”

Jack just shrugs, leaning back further into the lounges fluffy warmth, pulling Alex back with him.

“You wanna talk about it?”

“It's nothing really,” Alex says quietly, and one day, one day Jack's going to convince him that it's never not nothing, that everything Alex feels is important, but today isn't that day.

“I am kinda tired” Alex confesses, “There may have been a pudding incident where one of my aunts was sure she used Splenda but you know, turns out she didn't”

“But hey,” Alex continues, “It was a damn good pudding”

Jack snorts, squishing Alex tightly.

“Nap time?” He offers, figures at the very least Alex can catch a couple of hours of sleep. Alex being tired is no good for fufilling Jack's desires.

“No, no i'm good for shenanigans”

“I'm afraid i'm gonna have to insist, since I gatecrashed you and all”

Alex cuddles into him, clearly easily swayed by the possibility of a nice, snuggly nap. “Are you sure?”

“Very sure”

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alex sleeps soundly for about an hour and half, Jack stroking his hair, letting Alex's head rest on his chest.

He stirs slowly, face scrunching up and fingers curling into the blankets, sleepy eyes cracking open, blinking up at Jack with a soft smile.

“Good nap?”

Alex nods, stretching out along Jack's side. “I love you”

“You can go back to sleep if you want, no ones home yet”

Alex shakes his head, “Nope, I demand you entertain me”

Isobel and Peter come home not too long after Alex drags him downstairs for snacks, bringing with them a healthy supply of alcohol to take to the party they'll be going to – Alex making a particularly adorable face and convincing his mom to call Jack's mom to make sure it's alright to leave them with a bottle of champagne for tomorrow, which it is, cause Jack's mom is cool like that.

They end up watching Alex's ice skating DVD, Jack more than happy to watch his boyfriend stare intently at the screen, occasionally shift his gaze to Jack and whisper gleefully in his ear about all the cool stuff they're going to try once the rink opens in the new year and Jack really, really hopes that Zack'll be willing to come with because there is no way he'll be lifting Alex off the ice. He'd like to not kill his boyfriend and alll.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After dinner Alex tugs him upstairs, the two of them changing into their pyjamas and Jack's just tugging his pants up when Alex strides all too casually across the room all shirtless, presses him against the wall and melds their lips together.

He goes with it of course, because fuck, he's missed Alex and the knowledge that Alex is acutely aware of his pre-Christmas request sends an extra shiver of anticipation through his body as he wraps an arm around Alex's waist, the other tangling in his hair and ready or not, he absolutely wants this.

“Bed” Alex murmurs against his lips and Jack nudges the other boy backwards towards his bed, Alex falling back as his knees hit the edge of the mattress and his hair fans out around his head and he gives Jack one of his gorgeous sexy smiles and makes grabby hands for him.

Jack kneels on the bed (Carefully, because kneeing Alex in the balls is not part of the game plan) before he lines his body up with Alex's, pressing him down into the sheets and attacking his mouth, rolling his hips down as Alex rolls his up and for a good few minutes it's just nice, pleasant friction between the two of them, noisy making out and Alex reaching his hands to tug Jack's hair, unwilling to relinquish the control he'd started their encounter of sorts with.

Alex rolls them soon enough, fingers dipping underneath the elastic of Jack's pants and he pushes himself up a little to help Alex slides them down, taking his underwear down with them, exposing just how hard he is already.

“Someone’s happy to see me” Alex says in a low tone and there is never, ever going to be a time when Alex's transition from adorably awkward boy to confident sexual being isn't one of the biggest turn ons Jack's ever experienced.

“What am I gonna do with you?”

Jack shrugs, tries to keep his voice casual. “There might've been something we were discussing”

Alex arches an eyebrow.

“Oh?”

Jack kind of hates Alex right now.

“You want that?” Alex continues and Jack just swallows, loudly, nods his head.

“Really?”

Seriously, fuck Alex.

“R-really” Jack manages to get out, feeling the blush creeping up his cheeks.

“Nope” Alex says, lips pouting perfectly as he pops the p, “Not fucking you tonight” and Jack's stomach kind of drops because he's been thinking about this for days, fucking weeks even and now Alex is going to drag it out even more?

His face must reflect how he feels because Alex is chuckling then, leaning down and brushing his lips against the shell of Jack's ear, scraping with just a hint of teeth.

“What I am going to do, Jack, is make you come from just my fingers”

Jack will maintain that he doesn't whimper, but the deep breath he'd just taken most definitely escapes him in louder and higher manner than it normally would.

“Should I take that as yes then?” Alex continues, drawing away from Jack's ear to press little kisses against his throat and Jack just needs a moment, a teensy tiny moment to collect himself because the idea of Alex's fingers doing what his own keep failing to achieve is really fucking hot.

“Fuck yes” He answers eventually, fitting his fingers underneath Alex's chin and tugging him up for a kiss, tongue sliding together and it's only then that Jack remembers Alex's parents, who are most definitely still awake and downstairs, watching TV.

He breaks the kiss. “Your parents” He breathes against Alex's lips, and Alex just kisses him again.

“Doors locked, but you’ll just have to stay quiet, won't you?”


	93. Chapter 93

The next morning Jack wakes before Alex does, a feeling of contentment letting him melt into the mattress as he snuggles Alex's sleeping form closer to him.

Alex Gaskarth has magical fingers. Magical.

It's safe to say that Alex has managed to allay all of Jack's concerns about being defective because Jack had a rather excellent time, Alex's fingers curled against his prostate triggering an orgasm Jack is sure is in his top three ever it was that good.

He definitely wants to do it again.

Have Alex do it again, properly.

Jack yawns, not bothering to cover his mouth, jaw stretching in a ridiculous fashion and he kind of subconsciously well, clenches and okay, it does feel a little bit weird.  
But the good kind of weird. The 'I had an excellent sexual experience' kind of weird.

Checking his phone and wincing when it informs him that it's barely eight, Jack rolls over with every intention of going back to sleep.

He's sure he's barely shut his eyes when Alex's alarm goes off and Jack whines, protesting as Alex slips out of his grasp and out of bed, making sure to thump the covers back down hard enough to create a rush of cold air because he's a complete and utter jerk.

Jack pulls the blankets over his head, curls his feet into the warm spot Alex has left behind.

Alex returns from the bathroom and from under his warm cavern Jack hears his meter and then the long suffering sigh that Alex sometimes makes when he's thinking. Jack hopes it's about what they're having for a breakfast.

Jack makes a muffled questioning sound (Him and Alex have their own morning language now it's fantastic) and Alex pats his ass through the blankets.

“Can I interest you in waffles for breakfast?”

Jack pulls the covers down a fraction. “Is there maple syrup?”

Alex grins at him. “Do you really have to ask?”

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There is maple syrup. Real, proper, Canadian (From Canada!) liquid maple tree deliciousness.

Halfway through his second waffle, Alex sets his fork by his plate, swipes his finger across his plate and sucks his sticky appendage between his lips.

“So,” He says, in-between noisy licks. “Like, last night was okay, right?”

Jack blinks. He's pretty sure the sounds that came out of his mouth last night more than covered how okay everything was. Still, maybe Alex needs confirmation.

“Alexander, last night was more than fucking okay”

Alex winks at him, a devilish twinkle in his eye. “Good.”

“Good what?”

“Just good”

Alex is up to something, Jack's sure.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After breakfast they do very productive teenage boy activities, an inappropriate song challenge – Alex does a particularly awesome cover of Blinks swear word song and together they come up a nice little tune for Rian about his feelings for Zack's muscles which is sure to be a hit when they gather them to perform it.

Around two, Peter and Isobel start getting ready for the new years ever party they're heading to a few towns over, Isobel calling them over and explaining very specifically that she'd appreciate if they didn't drink the entire bottle of champagne between them and reminding Alex to take care of himself, to which Alex nods and reassures her, like he always does.

Jack doesn't know whether he'd have the kind of patience that Alex always seems to have.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Jack,” Alex announces in a serious tone several hours later as he sits elegantly on one of the kitchen counters like some kind of majestic elk. “For the last damn time it's not a glass, it's a flute!”

Jack's brow furrows because it turns out with a few glasses (Sorry, 'flutes') of champagne rattling around his body, Alex gets sassy.

“That's big talk from a guy holding his glass like it's a cup of fucking tea” He shoots back, staring pointedly at the way Alex has his pinky stuck out like a British housewife or something. Jack's seen daytime television.

Jack has zero shame in admitting he has zero class. It's alcohol, half the time people drink it straight out of the bottle, which is actually quite tempting, if only to see just how coherent Alex's moral objections might be.

They might be just a tad tipsy, giggles lasting longer than they usually do and Jack feels lighter somehow, as if the bubbles from the champagne have somehow merged into a megabubble inside of him. He's pleasantly warm and all he wants to do is have Alex as close to him as possible.

The only problem is Jack's all the way across the room from his boyfriend, leaning against the kitchen door frame and he can't really be bothered to move.

“You should come over here and kiss me” He whines, using to his spare hand to waggle his fingers at Alex.

Alex pauses with his drink halfway to his mouth.

“I think that since i'm the one sitting down you should come over here” He counters, and Jack just kind of shrugs, processes the thought that Alex hadn't said no to kissing him and shuffles across the floor, original protests about not moving anywhere forgotten.

He rests his glass on the counter a safe distance away from them and then pinches Alex's as well, silencing the other boys sounds of protest by pressing their lips together, wedging his tongue between Alex's open lips and it works because it always fucking works, Alex unresponsive for a moment as he presumably weighs up the options of more champagne or more Jack and Jack knows he's won when Alex's arms curl around his neck and into his hair as he's tugged closer, Alex's lips moving insistently against his own.

They pull away after a moment, all breathless and Alex's lips are swollen and pink and Jack rests their foreheads together.

“Hi” He breathes, running his hands up Alex's denim clad thighs.

Alex giggles, body shifting under Jack's fingers.

“Hi yourself”

They make their way upstairs some ten minutes later, still wrapped around each other, Jack's foot catching on a step and nearly sending them both back down again but Alex catches him like the wonderful boyfriend he is and leads him the remainder of the way by the hand, tugging Jack towards the bed before he disappears into the bathroom with a wink.

Jack blinks, confused by the sudden lack of Alex.

“Where'd you go?” He calls, even though he knows exactly where Alex is – not where he needs to be right now.

“Just a sec!” Alex yells back cheerfully and Jack lets himself fall face first onto the mattress, letting out a soft groan as he gets a nice lump of blankets pressing against the bulge in his jeans.

He briefly considers rolling over but then decides fuck it, Alex isn't here and shifts himself around so he can rub against it, just to occupy himself.

A thought occurs to him then, that this is really going to happen, Alex is going to fuck him tonight, right now and fingers are one thing and Alex's dick is another and Alex Gaskarth is certainly not insufficient. But it's a thought that's kind of difficult to concentrate on when his hips keep rolling down of their own accord.

A few moments later Alex returns, eyes dark and hair slightly more mused than Jack remembers having made it but it's irrelevant in the grand scheme of his boyfriend returning and slotting himself into bed alongside him, hands tugging the covers from underneath them and Jack whines as he's rolled onto his back and away from his blanket lump, the sheets cool beneath his back as Alex throws a leg over his hips and sits on him, grinning down at him before he folds himself across Jack's chest, nudges his chin upwards.

Alex's lips on his neck is good, awesome even but Jack wiggles underneath him, presses a hand against Alex's neck and rolls them so he's on top, can keep Alex pinned beneath him, just the way Jack likes him to be.

They lose their shirts, Jack fumbling with his buttons to the point where Alex snorts with laughter, pushing his fingers away and doing it for him before he tugs off his own shirt, Alex urging them together again as he presses his teeth into the curve of Jack's ear.

Jack whines as he nuzzles into Alex's soft, soft hair, hands reaching for Alex's shoulders and he straddles him once more, sliding his hands down to paw at his middle, always likes to keep tabs on where Alex's site is so he doesn't knock it but he comes up empty, can't find the familiar line of tubing or the body-warm plastic of the site itself. Jack frowns, goes for a more extended search to Alex's back and Alex giggles, breath warm against his neck.

Jack pulls back, raises a curious eyebrow.

“Is there something you're not telling me?” He questions, kind of confused and also kind of worried but mostly turned on and it's the weirdest combination of feelings he's ever had.

“Wanted to be proper naked for you” Alex says in a soft tone and Jack kind of melts because Christ, Alex.

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It's a little after twelve when Jack spares the energy to check the time again.

“I can't believe you literally fucked me into next year” He says breathlessly, as the sweat on his skin begins to cool.


	94. Chapter 94

Four days into the new year which has been amazing so far because fuck, he actually fucked Jack into it, disaster strikes in Alex's nice little bubble of routine.

It sucks major balls because it is a whole brand new year and everythings been so, so good lately and he's actually just been completely and utterly happy which is unusual for him.

Technically it could be considered two disasters, or perhaps if he didn't lean towards making everything quite so over dramatic, two minor inconveniences in the giant inconvenience that is his life.

A proper, legitimate disaster of one of the largest snowstorms in American history battering down not only the east coast but nearly half the damn country making it fucking freezing outside and because the universe is his dearest friend, his pump kind of dies.

Alex maintains that for once, he hadn't actively done anything to his 'friend'.

No dropping it against the tiles for the millionth time, no smashing into door frames or walls or even a repeat of that one memorable time he'd gotten it stuck in the dishwasher. Not even a Zack attack.

None of that had happened at all. He'd just been lying in bed stalking Matt on Facebook and there'd been a weird whirring noise before his pump had started shrieking at him in alarm tones he'd never heard before.

On the screen a single, black question mark.

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Now, some three hours and countless phone calls later Alex is alone and naked. Well no, he's still in his pyjamas and a hoodie and his mom is like three meters from him but that's beside the point.

His pump is officially unrepairable. Completely and utterly fucked.

Alex doesn't quite know how to feel. In a weird way, he feels kind of lonely. Although he hadn't named his pump as Jack so often lamented that he should (On the plus side, maybe Jack can name it's successor) it's been his constant companion for the last two years.

The little scuff marks and the scratches on the screen had been familiar, the tangible evidence of their adventures. All of the settings his mother had spent hours going over with him to make sure they were just right are gone.

Of course, it's not really a disaster because they've got insurance and a warranty that'll cover a shiny new replacement that can be shipped overnight.

Or rather, could be shipped if the snow storm of doom wasn't currently thrashing it's way across the country. It's got to come from California and there's no flights in or out of the east coast or anywhere in the eastern half of the country really. It's not gonna happen for at least three days.

The intensity of the storm though, is nothing compared to his mother. She's a little upset and by upset Alex means that she'd actually sworn at the people on the other end of the line after they'd told her, and at most of the people she'd had to call after that.

Alex just curls himself up onto one of the armchairs, tries to ignore the prickling across his skin. This is all his fault. If he'd been more careful, this would never have happened and his mother wouldn't be so stressed, worried about what to do with him.

She's always worried about him and it's not right.

“Alexander, Alex?”

It takes him a moment to register that his mom isn't yelling at her phone anymore, is waving a cautious hand in front of his face, trying to garner his attention.

“Hm?”

“Honey, i've gotta go to the pharmacy before the snow starts up again, and I want you to stay here, okay”

“Okay”

Alex knows he should be paying more attention as she informs him exactly what their – or rather, her – plan of attack is but it doesn't really matter, the end game is that unless they miraculously invent a cure before his mother returns he'll be going back to the old school way of things.

After she's gone Alex just curls himself up into an even tighter ball, pulling his knees to his chest and trying not to panic. It's gonna be fine, he'll be fine and he knows it but at the same time he feels out of his depth and he really should've probably gone with his mother, even just waited in the car and not been alone.

Alex feels just the tiniest bit guilty as he bypasses Jack's number in his phone, instead skipping down to Rian's.

It's not that Jack isn't the most amazing thing to ever happen to him and no doubt would come right over and snuggle him to pieces, it's just, he needs his best friend right now.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Despite the freezing weather there's a knock on the front door not even fifteen minutes later and Alex takes a deep breath before he uncurls himself from his chair and heads to let Rian in.

The other boy is wearing a new coat, a ridiculously bright orange puffer number that makes him look like a penguin almost and the thought brightens his mood just a little.

“You look like a carrot who mated with a penguin” Alex announces in monotone because no matter how he feels Rian has to know it's an awful article of clothing.

Rian snorts, nudges him out of the way and starts to shed the aforementioned coat.

“I know it's fucking ugly okay, but my mom got it for me and you know how she is”

Rian's mom is one of those people who legitimately use the phrase 'Take a sweater!' at any and every given opportunity.

Coat hung up, Rian does what he does best. Being all Riany. There's a reason he's the best best friend ever.

He doesn't ask questions or try to reassure Alex that everything is fine, he just leads him upstairs and tucks him back into bed, lets Alex lean against his shoulder in silence.

After a little while though, Rian shifts his weight a little and Alex knows that other boy is preparing whatever amazing introspective thing it is that he wants to say.

“I feel like Jack would be better for this” Rian says quietly.

Alex swallows the spit pooled at the back of his throat. He knows, knows that by all rights Jack should be the one snuggled up to him.

“I don't want him to know” Alex admits, because despite everything they've been through this seems different somehow. He doesn't want Jack to be weirded out by him having to make the switch back to injections for the next couple of days and deep down he knows it's fine, that Jack loves him and won't care a bit but he just can't shift the doubt from the back of his mind that Jack might suddenly realise how high maintenance he can be and go looking for someone better.

There's a pause where Alex hopes that Rian will say something to make everything better, remind him that Jack loves him and that he's just overreacting as per usual but in a nice, soothing kind of way like he always does.

“You're an idiot” Are the not the words he expects to hear falling from Rian's lips.

Alex can't help but make an indignant sound of protest, though it's thwarted by Rian's very large, warm hand clapping itself over his mouth.

“Alex, you know I love you and that's why i'm doing this”

Doing what?

Alex catches on to what Rian's actually doing – tapping away at his phone in his other hand a few seconds too late and by the time he's managed to prise Rian's hand away from his face the other boys phone is already ringing, the bright white text on the screen informing them that he is indeed 'Calling JB'

“Rian!” Alex hisses, lunging across to try and knock the phone from his fingers. “You can't!”

Rian, being the asshole that he suddenly is, just rolls over and holds it out of his reach.

“I'm not going to tell him anything, i'm just telling him to come over, okay? Stop freaking out”

Alex much prefers gentle, compassionate Rian.


	95. Chapter 95

Unfortunately (Or fortunately, Alex isn't sure) Jack is unavailable, his mother having roped him into making a trip to buy additional things like milk and bread and whatnot and they're two towns so over Rian's invitation will have to wait until tomorrow.

When Rian hangs up, Jack's cheery goodbye still echoing in his head, Alex turns to look at his best friend, trying to death stare him into submission.

“I hate you.” He grumbles, unimpressed with this new, tactical Rian.

“No you don't”

“I'm pretty sure I do”

Rian just smiles at him, slipping his phone back into his pocket.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rian hangs around and mothers him until Alex's mom returns and then, after she's complimented him on his new coat (And the awful truth is that it's a completely honest compliment, she really does like the coat and Alex immediately starts praying that she doesn't see fit to buy him one) then takes his leave, winking and mumbling something about Zack and special storm preparations.

“Don't uninvite Jack tomorrow!” Are his parting words as heads down the drive to his mothers car, “And call me if you need me!”

Alex smiles, because Rian's still very much the same.

The minute the Dawsons car disappears down the street, Alex finds himself being pulled back inside and he sighs because he knows his mother has no doubt bought magical things that they have to talk about because even though she's cut him a lot of slack as of late, she's not gotten any less overprotective and worried and a change of routine like this means that he's in for an interesting few days. He loves his mother but she has been known to get a little intense – it's partly why him being on a pump works well for everyone involved, his mother can essentially program him and leave him alone and not have to be on him all the time.

In the kitchen, she sets an assortment of bags down on the kitchen table and starts flicking through them and she's talking but Alex isn't really listening until a pair of boxes are slid his way across the table and his mood brightens considerably.

He'd fully been expecting to switch back to syringes for his time of temporary nakedness but apparently his mother's managed to score insulin pens because she is excellent.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They spend a good twenty minutes in serious discussion which Alex does his best to participate in because well, it is his body after all and he does care, it's just hard sometimes to dig himself out from the panic that lurks around of every corner of his being.

His mother ends up making him lunch as they chat and Alex tests and holds his meter up so she can see from across the room, reaches to open one of the boxes.

The pen is cold to the touch and Alex has no doubt it's been sitting in the storage fridges at the pharmacy which is fine because from memory usually they warm up pretty quick but obviously not when it's freezing outside as well and he's hungry so there's not really any other option than to just try not to swear in his mothers presence as he presses the pen to his skin and winces because jesus, he has not missed the cruel sting one tiny bit.

As the afternoon drags on Alex becomes aware of the fact that his mother considers what, the hour (Or like, half-an hour because Rian) she left him alone to be a massive oversight on her part.

Every time he tests, she wants to see and Alex realises he's become accustomed to the level of autonomy his parents actually let him have.

Still, he resists the urge to complain because he's smart enough to know that complaining will only make things worse, stress his mother out even more if she thinks he's trying to hide things from her again.

It's not like he can phsyically go very far either, with the huge impending storm and all.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That night, Alex decides to take advantage of his forced nudity. A nice, proper bubble bath.

He stays in for ages, letting the water run out and refilling it again so that the waters hot and his father comes knocking on the door to make sure he hasn't drowned or something.

Given the option, Alex would seriously consider never, ever coming out because it's just lovely and he could quite easily fall asleep but the idea of waking up in freezing water isn't exactly appealing. Also, he'd probably drown.

Getting dressed is weird, he doesn't have to hold the tubing between his teeth or have it resting on something he can just put his clothes on wherever he wants, no familiar weight clipped to his pyjama pants. He buttons his pyjama shirt in the middle of his bedroom just because.

He sprawls out on his bed on his stomach then, stretches his arms and legs out in contentment. Lavender is amazing.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He wakes to someone shaking his shoulder and half-asleep, just groans and hopes they'll stop. He's so tired.

The shaking however, doesn't stop and Alex whines and his mothers voice finally pierces the fuzzy mush that is his brain.

“Alexander, honey, wake up”

He cracks his eyes open to the bright, piercing light of his bedside table, and his mother, still in her pyjamas, leaning over him. It's dark enough that it's not even close to being morning, Alex is sure.

“Muh?” He says, ever coherent.

“I just came in to make sure you're alright, and I thought you're getting a bit old for me to test you in your sleep” She says and oh, Alex appreciates that.

Not that being woken in the middle of the night to test is you know, great or anything but this is his mom doing her best to give him a little extra tether.

“Probably should've set an alarm” He says, voice muzzy with sleep as sits up and takes his lancet and meter from his mother, the test strip thoughtfully already inserted for him because he does not possess that level of coordination at this kind of hour.

He's fine, and his mom kisses him on the forehead and tucks him back under the covers before she leaves, murmuring something about being back in the morning. Hopefully not too early, is the last thought Alex's sleepy brain manages to process.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning isn't so bad. Alex knows that the whole routine switch up may or may not completely fuck him over, he just doesn't know for sure, or how or when. He wakes up feeling fine, but by the time he's peed (With no risk of dropping his punp into the toilet, an absolute plus) and heads downstairs everythings moving just that little bit too slowly for things to be just right.

He allows himself a treat because why the fuck not, smearing marshmallow fluff and crunchy peanut butter onto his toast in a hideous brown-pink mess and sets his plate down across from his mother who's at the table reading some kind of home magazine.

His chair squeaks loudly as he drags it out and he's halfway through his first piece of toast when he remembers and has to trek back upstairs, toast in hand to grab his pen, three pieces of toast a little much for the just slightly low that he is. He probably needs like, one of those lanyards old people have for their glasses (Or their medic alerts, in case they've fallen and can't and get up) because he is a forgetful guy, looses his phone about five times a day and it's not even that important – which is why it's never, ever on silent, he'd never find it.

There's some awful photos of him somewhere being nine or ten and having a tiger themed fanny pack. Never again.

Around eleven, he gets a message from Jack asking if their storm-date is still on and Alex heeds Rian's warning, texts back a resounding yes, with a smiley face for good measure.

The thing is, he really does want to see Jack. He just kind of doesn't want Jack to see him.


	96. Chapter 96

Jack appears closer to twelve, a thick coating of snow dusting his hair and as Alex peers outside, there's definitely something even more up with the weather.

He drags Jack inside out of the wind, throws a quick wave to Joyce and then closes the door and tugs Jack's snowy hoodie off of him, the other boy shivering under his fingers.

“It's as cold as balls out there” Jack announces and Alex laughs, hanging Jack's hoodie up before pulling him into a hug, running his hands up and down Jack's back in an attempt to warm him.

The thing is, as the two of them head upstairs to Alex's bed – because really the only thing this weather is good for is romantic snuggling and movies, Alex isn't sure how to tell Jack he's no longer part robot. It's not even a big deal, the logical part of his brain tells him, it's Jack and it's a reasonably simple thing. It's not like he went out and cheated or something.

Jack starts warming a spot under the blankets for them as Alex digs through his movie collection, Jack making exceedingly unhelpful suggestions as he goes.  
Eventually, they settle on Bill and Ted, their parallel dimensional soulmates.

“You smell good” Jack says as Alex clambers in beside him, “Like, lavender?”

“It might be lavender” Alex says cheekily, nuzzling his head against Jack's shoulder.

“I can't believe you had a bubble bath and I wasn't invited” Jack whines, and Alex smiles.

“We can have one later, if you're good?” He teases, suddenly thinking that things could not possibly be better than a lavender bubble bath with his boyfriend. It's the stuff dreams are made of.

The movie starts and the two of them kind of meld into one eight-limbed lump of human under the blankets, Jack wiggling down to rest his head on Alex's stomach and Alex gives Jack a head rub, untangling the occasional knot from his boyfriends still snow damp hair.

Half an hour later and Alex is kind of antsy. He has to tell Jack.

He waits until a quieter point in the movie before he comes out with it. Well, not it exactly.

“Can we talk?” He mumbles quietly, kind of hoping that maybe Jack won't hear him, too engrossed in the film to be paying attention to him but it doesn't happen, Jack just leaning over him a little to reach for the remote and pausing the movie before rolling over so his head in still in Alex's lap but now he's facing him.

“Of course we can talk, what's up?”

“Um,” Alex says, and Jack's whole face contorts into a concerned expression, a frown working it's way onto his face.

“Alex, is everything okay?”

This is exactly what Alex didn't want to happen, to make Jack worry about him.

“Yes,” He says quickly, “I'm fine, it's fine, it's just – it's just”

Jack sits up, wiggles up the bed go he can sling an arm around Alex's shoulders and hold him close, pressing his nose against Alex's temple.

“You don't have to tell me if you're not comfortable, you know that” Jack says quietly and Alex tries to swallow past the lump in his throat because he really is fine and all he's doing is making much ado about nothing but there is no undo button once he's started.

“My pump broke” He admits and Jack stiffens besides him, holds him a little tighter.

“What'd you do to it this time?” Jack says after a moment and Alex can't help but smile because this is Jack, Jack who takes pretty much everything in stride.

And then, “Shit Alex, I didn't mean to joke about it obviously it's serious but I just-”

“Jack,” Alex interrupts, turning his head to press his forehead against his boyfriends.

“You couldn't have said anything more perfect”

It's true, Alex thinks, because even if he doesn't know it Jack has kind of defused the tenseness of the whole situation just by being all Jack-like.

Jack makes a weird sound in the back of his throat.

“You told me the thing that you know, keeps you alive broke and I made a joke about it that is like the least perfect thing to do”

“I love you” Alex says because that seems like the only appropriate answer to the questions that he knows Jack wants to ask and Jack smiles fondly at him.

“And I love you” Jack whispers back, “But that's not going to get you out of explaining”

“For once I didn't actually do anything to it”

“Spontaneous combustion?” Jack says, voice curious and Alex giggles.

“Maybe”

“Insurance covers me for a new one, but with the storm coming in it's probably gonna take a week for it to get here”

Jack frowns.

“So you're naked until then?”

“Yup” Alex confirms. “Gloriously naked”

There's a brief moment of silence where Alex can practically see Jack's mind ticking over, a concerned glaze to his eyes.

“So you're okay, right?”

Alex nods. “It's fine, massively fucking inconvenient and i'm sure my mom would like a word with whatever deity it is that's in the charge of the weather but not completely impossible”

Jack's face relaxes a little, and a smile works it's way onto his face.

“I guess that means you're back to you know,” - Jack makes a weird stabby motion with his hands and Alex can't help the snort that he makes, because Jack is absolutely adorable sometimes.

“It's a little bit like that” He says, “But because my mom is a badass negotiator it's not as bad as it sounds”

Alex rolls over a little to reach his bedside table, slides open the top drawer to retrieve the pens he'd hastily tossed in their prior to Jack's arrival.

“Behold,” He says dramatically, and for once he genuinely isn't concerned about what Jack might think or if he might be weirded out or anything at all. He just wants to share. That's all.

“The magic of the insulin pen” He continues, holding them out to Jack, who takes them from him, resting them in his palm.

“Well, they do look like pens” Jack says solemnly.

“They're like the better alternative to syringes, you can flick the cap off the bottom and that's the needle part, and inside, where the ink would go in an actual pen is where the insulin goes”

Jack nods thoughtfully. “And you just need the one?”

“Yep, just gotta swap out the needle each time because ignoring that's it's probably gross, blunt anything stabbing you sucks”

“That's actually pretty cool” Jack says quietly, “How come you have two different colours?”

Alex ponders how best to explain. He knows Jack understands more than he lets on but Alex also knows there's no real need to go into some in-depth saga about all the technical details, just tries to keep it simple.

“The blue one's for the day and the grey one's for when I go to bed” He says, “They sort of do different things”

And then, then Alex has one of the most beautiful thoughts he's ever had. The perfect metaphor. He is a genius.

“It's like the blue one is a one night stand – you go out, get the cute boy, bang him and go home and the grey one is you bang them and maybe you'll stay the night, have breakfast in the morning”

Jack stares at him with an expression that Alex isn't sure he's seen before.

“I can't believe you” Jack says after a moment. “You just used sex to explain something all diabetesy and complicated and I don't know whether to be really proud of you or disturbingly freaked out that it made complete sense to me”

Alex kisses Jack's cheek.

“I think you should go with proud”

“Your mom is going to be so proud”

Alex narrows his eyes, “You mention a word of this conversation to my mom and there will be no bubble bath”

Jack kisses his cheek. “What about Zack and Rian?”

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bill and Ted finishes in time for an afternoon snack and Jack dutifully follows Alex into the kitchen for said snack.

They settle on cereal and Jack watches Alex tugging down bowls from the cupboard, sprawled lazily across two kitchen chairs.

Alex's pump having broken has to suck. Jack is of the firm opinion that Alex should only ever be naked-naked on his own terms.

But he is intensely proud of Alex, not only because of his sexplanation (Which was fucking brilliant, seriously), but also that'd he'd just been able to tell him, been confident enough not to worry about what Jack thinks. It's a place that Jack's been hoping they'd get to, and knowing they're there is awesome.

They're at a loose end after they've stuffed themselves with cereal, briefly flicking on the news to see where the mega-storm currently is, sticking their heads out the front door to catch an unexpected faceful of the worlds sharpest, pointiest snow. Jack's a little nervous, because what if there’s like a snow-tornado? South Carolina hadn't exactly been a hotspot for crazy, unpredictable weather.

By mutual decision they decide that going back to Alex's bed is the only real option.

They don't really do anything, neither of them bothered enough to hunt around for another movie to put on and suddenly Jack has an idea. He knows Alex isn't as happy as he's putting on – although he is surely a lot better than he has been but Jack wants kind of ensure that he stays that way for a little bit longer, that worry doesn't start to curl it's way into his boyfriends being.

He nudges Alex's shoulder and receives a whine in response, Alex rolling around to stare at him with an expectant expression.

“Do you want a blowjob?” Jack blurts out, clearly incapable of being you know, suave.

Alex blinks at him. And then blinks some more before his lips curve up into a tiny little smile.

“S'what?”

“I said” Jack intones one more. “Do you want a blowjob?”

Alex's brow furrows,.

“Right now?”

“Yes right now”

“Why?”

Jack's pretty sure in the history of the entire universe no one has ever asked why someone would like to suck their dick. (Except maybe the very, very first dude before they even knew what blowjobs were which would be totally understandable)

“To make you feel better?”

Jack's reasonably confident in his skills.

Alex blinks at him some more.

“You want to give me a feel better blowjob?” He says slowly, and Jack nods.

“I know it's not like, going to make this whole situation any less shit, but you know”

“Well,” Alex says thoughtfully, “I'd hate to turn down such a generous offer”


	97. Chapter 97

Jack jerks awake to a pitch black room and for a moment he's not sure what's woken him – Alex is still sleeping peacefully beside him, hands curled up under his chin like the adorable creature he is.

Then, all at once he hears it. The low rumble of thunder, thick splats of rain (Or snow? Or snowhail? Snail?) the wind creating a high pitched whistle he's sure he's only ever heard in movies.

The super-mega-storm of doom is going to kill them all.

Jack's not sure what to do. He's kind of worried about his mom being home alone, what if the roof blows off?

He wants to hide under the covers and not come out until it's all over. He could wake Alex up and demand soothing cuddles but the other boy really is dead to the world and Jack can't bring himself to do it, just tugs the blankets up higher around himself and curls closer to Alex's sleeping form.

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When he wakes again the snail is gone but it's still eerily dark, though a quick consult of the awful, awful brightness of his phone tells him it's nearly seven, so hopefully the blackness will ease up a little once the sun gets to trying to poke it's way through.

The roof's still above him, nice and secure which is definitely good and it seems mostly quiet outside.

Jack shifts away from Alex, who seems ridiculously warm for how cold Jack feels even with their shared body warmth and mountain of blankets.

He rolls over onto his back and stares blankly at the ceiling for a while, wonders if there's going to be so much snow that they're trapped inside. He's probably seen too many disaster movies.

At half past Alex's alarm goes off and a muffled whine echoes through the room but Alex doesn't move.

It goes off again a few seconds later and Alex just whines some more, a hand poking it's way out of the blankets to flap in Jack's direction.

“Jaaaack” Comes the sleepy tone. “Make it stop”

Jack just snorts because tired Alex is never not the cutest thing, before rolling over and crushing the other boy under him as he reaches to the bedside table and Alex's phone, flicking off the alarm and snagging Alex's meter as well, slipping back over to his side of the bed, lifting the blankets up and poking it into Alex's face. He's a helpful guy, what can he say.

Jack settles properly back into his warm spot as Alex's head pokes out, hair poking every which way and he looks so, so sweet that Jack just wants to kiss him stupid.

Downstairs, as they negotiate on what they're having for breakfast Isobel appears and despite her cheerful morning greeting, she ruthlessly interrogates Alex in a way that Jack's never seen before and it's a bit intense really so he just sits himself at the kitchen table and lets them go at it. Alex doesn't seem particularly stressed out, so Jack presumes that everything is good.

By the time Isobel's disappeared elsewhere in the house – most of the roads are closed, so neither of the parents Gaskarth are actually going anywhere – Alex has halfway made toast for them both (Because apparently he can multi-task – a skill Jack knows he'll never possess)

Tugging his chair back and standing up, Jack comes to stand behind his boyfriend as he spreads peanut butter on their toast, wrapping his arms around Alex's waist and resting his head on his shoulder.

“You okay?” He murmurs, because yeah, this is a new thing that hasn't happened before.

Alex bends his head a little and kisses the side of his head, leaning back into the embrace.

“I'm fine” He says carefully, “Just with the whole changing things put my mom off a little bit, you know how she is”

Jack is just slightly aware of Isobel's overprotective tendencies, yes.

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They eat their breakfast in relative silence and the wind starts up again and it seems louder than before, closer now that they're downstairs.

“I think we should have that bubble bath” Jack announces, cheeks wedged with toast. “So if the roof blows off at least we'll be warm”

Alex just laughs, reaching across the table to press a peanut buttery kiss to his cheek.

“Jack, the roof coming off is like, a physical impossibility” He says sweetly, “It's much more likely to cave in from the weight of all the ice”


	98. Chapter 98

It's another two days of naked fun before his pump arrives via a rather grumpy looking courier (And if he had to work in freezing, post-storm weather Alex would probably be grumpy too) and Alex carries the box inside with a feeling akin to glee, smile on his face.

To other people, Alex thinks his happiness would probably be a little weird. But they aren't him and if he wants to be excited about medical technology, he damn well can. They haven't spent the last twenty-four hours chasing down highs that are nearly immediately followed by lows that seem determined to linger on forever no matter what he does.

Jack unfortunately had gone home the night before – Joyce calling in a favor he owes her in order to get him to shovel the driveway so she can get her car out of the snowed in garage – a task Alex has gotten out of, claiming that the effort and the cold weather will make him low (Which technically yes it could but the premise is a tad ridiculous but hell, as long as his parents are willing to let him get away with the excuse, he's going to use it because it's as Jack would say, cold as balls out there)

His mom comes downstairs with a smile that mirrors his own and it makes Alex happy that she's happy and that quite soon things will go back to the way they were before and she'll stop helicopter parenting him.

He's entrusted with opening the box (Or rather, it's his box and he'll be damned if he's letting his mother take the joy of spreading packing peanuts everywhere from him) and after a myriad of sticky tape and infinite protective layers, Alex is finally able to free his new pump.

His mother makes an appreciative noise and then goes straight for the several trees worth of information also included, leaving him to admire his brand new companion.

It's a cute teal colour – he's never really liked blue and unlike Zack he has no affinity towards pink so this is a nice in-between, a slight metallic sheen to the glossy plastic and while Alex will admit he's not spent any time at all looking their chosen (Or their insurances chosen) brands competitors, even compared to his old one this one definitely seems classier. If an insulin pump can be classy. He's not sure.

He manages to put his friend down on the table to reach for his phone, send a quick text to Jack.

I believe you were interested in naming my pump? :D – Alex.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The only appropriate way to celebrate his no-longer-a-naked-human status is, of course, to stage a Mario kart marathon the next morning and invite everyone because they haven't hung out in forever.

Jack's made a few truly awful name suggestions via text overnight, hideous things like Dermot and Thurman and Jennifer and no, just no.

He's the first to arrive, followed minutes later by Zack and Rian.

They shift around in a strange little circle so they can all hug each other before Rian demands they get to see the goods. And Alex obliges, tugging up his hoodie and letting everyone pat and poke at him.

“It's pretty” Jack blurts, before he pauses. “Is that a thing I can say or is that weird?”

Alex shrugs. “Much better than devil device”

Jack snorts, “Someone’s actually called it that?”

“It was awesome!” Rian interjects brightly, “This woman had to have been like, eighty and she was wearing this big ol' straw hat and a huge cross around her neck that she kept waving at us”

“The devil only summons those without working pancreases to join his legions” Alex intones, lifting his hands above his head and making spirit fingers.

Rian swats at him. “Stop being so overdramatic”

Alex swats back. “Do you want to go to hell, Dawson?”

They all head upstairs, making their traditional nest of blankets and bean bags, digging out Alex's extra game controllers from the weird abyss that is the mess under his bed.

“Alex is gonna let us name his pump” Jack announces cheerfully one they're all settled, Alex in his lap and Zack tangled up with Rian. “But he's being a pissy little bitch and vetoing like, everything I come up with”

Zack and Rian laugh, while Alex punches him in the shoulder.

“I'm sure we can come up with something agreeable to all parties” Rian says solemnly.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It turns out they really can't.

It's Alex's pump, Alex's body and he is not settling for some shitty name. He's not calling it a girls name either, that's just fucking weird.

No Leonard, Adam, Jose, Muriel, Katie or Stephan. And he really does try to send Rian to hell when he suggests calling it the Biebs. Fuck no.

Finally, after half an hour of discussion that Alex thinks might lead to him committing a nice trio of extremely convenient murders, Zack finally contributes, having remained pretty quiet throughout.

“What about Constantine?”

Everyone falls silent.

“Is that even an actual name?”

Zack shrugs. “I think so, it's pretty old though, but I think it works cause you know, your pumps constantly attached to you”

Alex takes a moment to consider the possibility of Constantine. It is pretty witty, and not that awful. And he's very, very unlikely to ever meet someone called Constantine and have them be confused. It's not like it's going to be said out loud a ton either, so no ones going to think he's suddenly acquired an imaginary friend or something.

“Zack” He says slowly, “Is there a reason you couldn't have mentioned this, like half and hour ago so we didn't have to sit through Jack naming every pornstar he knows?”

Zack just looks almost gleeful.

“I was enjoying the show”

Rian, being Alex's spiritual soul mate, reads his mind perfectly and promptly smacks Zack over the head with a pillow.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To Alex's great displeasure, the replacement of his pump has not meant his mother has dropped her hovering ways. If anything, it's just gotten worse. He'd thought a day, maybe two and things would be pretty much back to normal. Nope.

And okay, he can appreciate that she wants to make sure it's working right, that he's not fucking anything up and be reasonably close so they can figure out just what needs to be adjusted but he just needs like, five minutes to himself where she's not within yelling range. He can't even jerk off at night because he knows she's doing that motherly thing where they're totally asleep but if you make the tiniest noise they'll know.

He just needs five minutes.

So he calls in the cavalry once more. Jack, Zack and Rian for a exciting going outside adventure. (He literally does not care where as long as his mom isn't around)

It's a tactical play. He knows his mother loves Jack but right now she might not be convinced of his 'taking care of my baby' skills but she absolutely trusts Rian with everything and she likes Zack because if the world ends or they get trapped under a burning building or something, Zack could probably carry all of them. That, and Zack is a lovely and polite young man. And Rian's mom will be the one to pick them up and drop them home and she's been babysitting him since forever so that's another bonus.

He ambushes her after breakfast, just him and her in the kitchen, the other three having stealthily arrived and are supposedly in the living room but Alex knows they're just behind the door, lurking.

“Can I go out with the guys?”

His mother turns around from where she's adding sugar to her coffee,

“Alexander, I don't know if that’s a good idea”

Alex makes his very best wibbly eyes. “Pleasseee?”

“I just-”

“You know everyone knows what to do if something happens, and you that I know what to do” He says softly, emphasising the 'I'.

He's not incapable of taking care of himself, and somewhere in her worrying mind, he's sure his mother knows that, she just needs a reminder.

“But-”

“I'll take anything you want me to” Alex says and this is his gold card, one that he doesn't play very often. It's a double-edged sword because whilst it nearly always convinces his mother to let him do whatever it is, he can end up with the kitchen sinks worth of stuff.

His mother lets out a long suffering sigh. “There's at least Jack eavesdropping on the other side of that door ready to come in and pout at me, isn't there?”

“Maybe?”

“Jack, could you come in here for a moment?”

There's thud, then the kitchen door opens and a rather sheepish looking Jack shuffles in.

“Hi” He says, and Alex could almost laugh at the expression his mom makes but he wants to live, so he doesn't.

She stares at Jack with a stern expression and Alex picks at a fingernail, nervous.

“Jack” She says finally, glancing at her watch. “You make sure you keep an eye on this one, alright?”

“Yes ma'am” Jack chirps, raising a hand in a salute and Alex does snicker then, can't help it. Jack's fucking adorable.

His mother cracks a smile as well. “That goes for you two as well, Zack and Rian” She calls as the door creeps open once more. “I wasn't born yesterday you know”


	99. Chapter 99

'Anything you want' turns out be a backpack filled with every conceivable thing he could ever need. Including the kitchen sink. Alex hasn't had this much stuff since well, the only time he ever takes a backpack is when they go to Florida and everyone else's moms makes them take backpacks too so no one can really single anyone out and laugh. (There also may or may not be a competition to see just who's backpack contains the most bizarre item)

He's got snacks – a plethora of snacks and enough to share with everyone because whilst his mother worries about him she also worries about everyone else – especially Jack because he's 'unusually lanky' according to her, about three backup meters and a thousand test strips and an extra infusion set and two tubes of glucose tabs. And one of those fleece travel blankets. And an extra scarf in case he looses the one he's wearing in a particularily strong gust of wind or something.

Where they end up going is the childrens park approximately three blocks from his house, completely void of children because it's still freezing outside (Although the sun is out and it's glorious) the snow almost ankle deep.

Rian carries his backpack for him because that's what Rian does.

“I call a swing!” Jack yells, shutting the car door behind him and taking off at a run, long legs getting hilariously tangled in a slightly deeper patch of snow as he flails his way to the play equipment.

There's two swings, a see-saw, a neat little castle climby-thing and one of those awesome things you sit on and spin around in crazy circles.

Everything they need for a truly excellent adventure.

“Alex, come push me!” Jack calls as Alex makes his way over with Rian and Zack at a more sedate pace, sneaker-clad toes kicking up the show in front of him as he walks.

Rian grabs the other swing and Alex makes his way behind Jack, waiting till the other swings back toward him before he lunges forward and digs his fingers into his boyfriends sides in lieu of a push.

Jack screams like an eight year old girl, legs flailing as he comes to a stop and spins around to face him, a pout on his face.

“Alexander William, that was not a push!”

Alex just grins at him. “You're a big boy, you can push yourself”

Jack's pout deepens.

“But Zack's pushing Rian” He protests, and yes, yes Zack is, Rian sailing almost dangerously high into the air and for a split second Alex wonders if the childhood rumour is true, that one can actually spin in a complete 360 and he considers mentioning it before he remembers hey, none of them need to die.

“Fine” He says playfully, “But then I want a turn”

“Done” Jack says brightly, turning back around and wiggling his perfect ass into a more secure position, mittened fingers finding a grip on the ice-cold chain.

Alex reaches for the base of the swing, drags it backwards as far as he can and then lets it go, Jack letting out an obnoxious whoop as he flies forward and Jack's enthusiasm is contagious because Alex starts laughing and can't stop, just keeps pushing Jack higher and higher and then challenging Zack to a mad dash in front of their significant others, Jack's feet only narrowly missing Zack's head before they fall into a giggling heap in the snow, the cold at his back more refreshing than anything.

It's nice to be outside and doing stuff. (And away from his mother)

Alex doubles with Zack on the swings, despite Jack's protests that the only lap he should be sitting on is his, (He loves Jack but his boyfriend might just drop him) and it's nice to swing back and forward with Zack's strong arms around him as Rian pushes them and he assures Jack that they'll share the see-saw.

As they clamber off the swings Rian nudges him to test, which Alex protests.

“I'm fine Ri, it's only been like half-an hour”

Rian just smiles at him in that soft, gentle, Riany way of his.

“I know, but please humor us because you know your mom’s going to launch an interrogation the minute we drop you home”

“You know i'm a really bad liar” Jack chimes in and Alex sighs, clearly outnumbered.

He is fine and he makes sure to show everyone the perfectly fine number on his meter and then takes a picture of said fine number and sends it to his mother to show her that he's fine because the other part of the deal is that he texts her at least once to prove he's not dead.

The see-saw is both a brilliant and horrible idea. A stupid amount of fun for sure, him and Jack trying to dislodge Rian and Zack without falling off themselves, Jack clinging to him for dear life as they smack into the earth again and again and again.

Alex is going to have a monumental bruise on his ass.

They head for the spinning disc of doom next, the four of them clambering on and using their feet to get started and the crisp air rushing past him as they spin makes Alex dizzy, head spinning as the rest of the park becomes a blur and he can hear Jack shrieking beside him, both of them clinging to the ride for dear life as they seem to spin faster even though Alex is sure (Mostly by the hideous wailing Rian is making next him) that none of them are pushing anymore.

The second they slow to a stop Jack stands up on wobbly feet and all three of them watch as he wobbles his way to a nearby tree and promptly throws up underneath it.

Alex is torn between laughter, worry and his own flip-flopping stomach.

Zack chooses laughter and Rian wobbles after Jack, who apart from being an odd shade of white and minus his breakfast, appears to be fine.

“Lucky Charms are not as pretty or delicious coming back up” He announces and Alex just stares at him, patting Jack's knee from his position still sprawled out on the wheel.

“We might wait a bit for snacks” Rian adds.


	100. Chapter 100

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pierce The Veil finally gets a mention for everyone who was waiting :)

The next morning when Alex surfaces from his bed the house is silent and empty and it's really fucking nice, the sun shining through the windows as he makes his way downstairs to have a wonderfully parent free breakfast. They've both gone to work and despite his mother waking him before she left to remind him about seven hundred different things he already knows, she has left for the whole day.

The snow is finally fucking melting in earnest, the weather warming just enough to make going outside without every limb covered a possibility. It'll be nice to be able to wear just one jacket.

Making himself a bowl of cereal Alex settles at the kitchen table half in a sunny spot, half in the shade so he can scroll through his phone. There's a newspaper at the other end of the table but Alex has absolutely no intentions of becoming his father anytime soon.

He stalks his favourite bands on Twitter first, most of them not on tour, causing a disappointing lack of drunk tweets. There are some cute animal pictures though.

Facebook is next, as he struggles to coordinate moving his spoon from bowl to mouth and scrolling along his feed, liking a few things and poking Rian because they've been in a never-ending poke war since they signed up like three years ago.

By the time he's down just to the milk at the bottom of his bowl which he is determined to spoon out, the only left to do is check his email.

It's the usual, stupid cat video from Zack, chain letters from Jack (He has no idea where Jack even gets them because surely they're outdated by about two years), the obligatory emails inquiring as to whether he'd like to increase the size of his manhood – Alex doesn't, for the record. But he does like to read them for the amusement value.

And then, dated four days ago (He doesn't check his email all that often because hello, instant messaging and texts exists if you need him) a name pops up that's familiar but not.

There's no title next to the sender name and when Alex clicks to open the message it's surprising tiny, given the senders ability to write novel length rants about the most ridiculous of things.

From: panteraroxmycox@hotmail.com Sent: 2.38pm 4 day(s) ago

Romantic rendezvous at the usual spot this year yes/no? And congrats on the boyfriend, he's cute! (Not as cute as HT though obviously)

Whole gang is coming this yr, bring your party pants :P

Alex just blinks, then consults the calendar on the far wall. There's no way it's that time of year again already it was only Christmas like, yesterday but apparently it is. Maybe time really does fly when you have the most amazing boyfriend on the continent.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jack is over the cold, over the snow, over his dick being frozen every morning when he gets up to pee.

He is more than ready for things to warm up, or he's seriously considering taking Alex and running away to some place warm. Maybe Arizona. They have a desert, and deserts are warm right?

The desert sounds pretty damn good.

The only consolation he has is that school doesn't go back for another nineteen days. (He doesn't know that off by heart, his mom's written it on the whiteboard on the fridge) Almost three more weeks of hoping the weather will warm up enough so that he doesn't freeze to death in the concrete hallways.

He really needs an Alex to cuddle.

Alas, he currently does not have an Alex to cuddle because Alex is at his house and Jack is at his, pointedly avoiding the box of Lucky Charms calling his name for breakfast. He's not quite ready to accept them into his life again.

In fact, he's still in bed, burrowed under the covers. There's the possibility of sun outside but he's not getting up to open the blinds to see.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alex corners his mom the minute she steps through the front door, curious as to whether she's forgotten about their annual trip or just holding out on him.

It's the latter, or rather that she'd been caught up in making sure she had all the necessary paperwork to claim their insurance that the letter with all the information (Which Alex is sure all three of them have memorised by this point) had gotten buried underneath a mountain of forms and temporarily forgotten about.

“So we're going then?” Alex asks, even though they haven't missed a year in the history of ever.

“Of course we are” His mother says cheerfully, ruffling his hair. “I'm just about over this cold weather and your father could use a few games of golf to unfreeze him”

“Although,” His mother says, voice suddenly quieter, “I was thinking it might be nice if you invited Jack instead of Rian this year”

It's honestly not something that Alex has thought about, hasn't even considered but now his mothers said it he's immediately drawn to the idea.


	101. Chapter 101

The trip in question of course is their annual pilgrimage to the happiest place on earth, Disneyworld Florida. It's also the home of one of the countries largest gatherings of pancreatically challenged humans, the Friends for Life conference.

An odd choice of location Alex used to think, but over the years he's come to love being in the midst of all things magical (No one can deny Disney, no one) and the name is accurate, because he has made some really, really good friends (None as exceptional as Rian but what can you do) and his mom has all the other mothers to discuss him with – in awful, excruciating detail and his father has a group of other fathers that go on exciting manly outings such as well, golf. And other manly activities Alex is sure.

It's a mecca of everything diabetes and in way Alex is kind of proud to be a part of such a community filled with some of the most awesome people he knows. The highlight of the four day weekend is the trip to actual, proper Disneyworld and his friends serve to make it the most awesome time, jumping from ride to ride and seeing who can get the costumed characters to do the craziest thing.

There are other benefits, slightly more serious things like up-to-date information and row upon rows of displays of handy-dandy new things to make their lives easier and support groups and parenting groups and forums where people discuss the never-ending list of complaints they have with the American health system but as a teenage boy Alex's interest is yet to be caught by such things. It's not like he's not going to have a good many years yet to get involved.

The other exceptionally awesome thing, beyond friends and fun and community is the food. Everyday there's breakfast and lunch in the conference hall and it's fucking amazing.

Not only because there's just about every kind of delicious thing imaginable (Which there is) but because everything is labelled within an inch of it's life. All he has to do is read the little cards next to whatever he picks up. No trying to work out just how much a single serve is, it's all done for you. It's like a holiday all on it's own.

In fact, the only downside is that it's in Florida and it's a little too far for them to drive so they have to fly. Alex is not a particularly good flyer. He's not quite at the Marge Simpson level of hysteria, but he has been known to leave bruises on Rian's arms for days after clinging to him for dear life. It's also generally just a tiny bit too cold for the beach, but that hardly ever stops them from throwing themselves into the ocean before they part ways back to their own parts of the country.

There's just one tiny problem Alex now has.

Every year, Rian comes along. You're encouraged to have a buddy and his parents have always been happy for him to bring his best friend, a little extra security because even when he's surrounded by literally thousands of other people with diabetes his mother still worries about him.

But now he's got a Jack.

And look, the knowledge that his mom wants him to bring Jack makes Alex so amazingly happy because it means she absolutely approves of him, wants to include him and it means a lot that she likes his boyfriend almost as much as he does.

But, Rian.

Alex doesn't want to ditch his best friend.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It takes him a day to summon up the courage to get his mom to drive him over to the Dawsons, the snow pretty much gone and the ground just a wet, mushy mush of dead grass and mud.

“I don't want you to think I don't love you anymore just because I have Jack” Alex mumbles, staring at the carpet beneath his feet and he hears Rian sigh before the other boy shifts closer and folds an arm around his shoulders.

“You worry too much” Rian says, like it's news to both of them. Alex Gaskarth, worrying too much? What an absurd notion.

“I think it's great that you want to take Jack, and you should because you'll have an awesome time” Rian continues, “I am more than happy to stay here and spend some extra time appreciating my very own boyfriend”

“Besides, i'm sure you'd much rather have a hotel room just for the two of you, instead of me and you”

It's never not weird to hear Rian allude to sex. Like, he knows that him and Zack are you know, teenage boys and are doing it (He's heard things, and lord, has he seen things) and everyone in a five mile radius can tell that he himself is banging Jack but still. It's Rian.

Although, Alex had not thought of the possibility of Disneyworld hotel room sex with Jack. He is definitely down for it.

“Are you sure you're not just going to spend the weekend heartbroken and crying for me?” Alex teases, a weight he wasn't really aware of lifted off his shoulders now that Rian's okay with things. (Like for a moment he wouldn’t have been)

Rian throws a biscuit at him. “I'm sure Zack can help ease the pain”

“Yeah,” Alex snickers, “The pain in your ass”

Rian lodges another biscuit.

“You're awful, you know that”

Alex just smiles sweetly, plucking the biscuit from the floor and wedging the entire thing into his mouth, tries to use his weight to press Rian back in to the couch.


	102. Chapter 102

With Rian's blessing the only thing to do is search out Jack and see if he actually wants to come. Alex is about ninety-nine percent sure that Jack will say yes, but a tiny part of him wonders if maybe inviting ones boyfriend to, Disneyworld aside, a technically medical convention is the sort of thing a person does. It is just a little bit weird, he will admit. But still, Disneyworld.

Searching out Jack isn't all that difficult despite the snow-free ground and days that you can actually feel the warmth of the sun – Jack is still pretty much hiding in his bed, covered in blankets, surrounded by technology. And a few tissues, which Alex just flicks off the bed with a cautious finger and tries not think about.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Jack,” Alex says, tone serious but a ridiculous grin on his face as he quite happily nudges Jack out of the warm spot he's spent half the morning warming to perfection.

“How do you feel about Disneyworld?”

For a moment, Jack is silent. He can never, ever predict just what's going to come out of Alex's mouth.

“Uh,” He says, “It's supposed to be the happiest place on earth dude, how do you think I feel about it? They've got fucking huge ass roller coasters”

Alex laughs. “Have you ever been?”

Jack shakes his head. He's never been to said happy place, although it's not been for lack of trying to persuade his mother it's the perfect holiday destination (He's heard magical things about magic mountain) but it's just never been something they can squeeze into the budget.

“Well, what would you say to me inviting you to a four day weekend of Floridian fun that may or may not be located at Disneyworld?”

“Alex” Jack starts, because even now with his mothers quite reasonable job and their nice house and ability to buy whatever kind of cereal he wants he knows that there's not enough wiggle room to pay for such a thing, especially so close after Christmas.

Alex's head tilts adorably as Jack considers how to inform him of this.

“My mom can't afford to send me to Disneyworld” He says quietly, hoping Alex won't look too disappointed.

“It's not really going to cost you anything” Alex says instead, and Jack's a tad confused because seriously there is no way he (Or his mother) are going to let the Gaskarths pay to take him somewhere unless they've like, won a competition or the lottery or something.

“Absolutely not” He says, in lieu of explaining this to Alex because he's quite sure that if theyhad in fact won the lottery Alex would have mentioned something. And would probably be wearing golden pants.

“But-”

“You are not paying for me to go on holiday with you” Jack interrupts, trying to avoid actually looking at Alex's face.

“But Jack”

“No” Jack repeats, voice a little more adamant this time. It's just not going to be a happening thing and he's certain his mother would never allow it either. Alex's family have better things to spend their money on than taking their sons boyfriend on holiday. Even if it is to Disneyworld.

Alex pouts.

“Will you let me talk for just like, one second?” He whines, and Jack sighs.

“Fine, but the answer is still no”

Alex looks decidedly more cheery.

“It's kind of not really a holiday” Alex says, “Like, it has components of a holiday and we are going to Disneyworld but uhm fuck, here” Jack watches Alex wiggle his hand between them to snatch something out of the back pocket of his jeans, waving it in his direction.

It's a pamphlet, and Jack takes it. It's probably for the very fancy, schmancy hotel Alex is staying in or something.

But it isn't.

Children with Diabetes Friends for Life Conference 2014, is the bold black title of the glossy paper in front of him, complete with picture of a rather fancy looking hotel (He totally called it) and underneath in smaller, fancier writing the name of a Disneyworld resort and Orlando, Florida and two little boys with an arm around each other in front of it, looking well, like kids who've probably been to Disneyworld.

Jack's confused.

“I'm confused” He announces because he's learnt, through much time with Alex that sometimes, it's a hell of a lot easier to just admit you've got no fucking idea what’s going on and to just ask.

“I thought you were trying to get me to go on holiday with you and this is, what is this exactly?”

“It's kind of a holiday” Alex repeats. “You know how nerds have those big nerdy conventions like Comic-Con and whatever?”

Jack nods.

“Well, Friends for Life is sort of like the people who have diabetes version of that – we all get together for the long weekend and hang out and there's serious stuff going on but mostly it's just everyone getting together and having a good time. And everyone stays in a fancy hotel block and we do actually get to go to Disneyworld with my friends and it's awesome”

Jack takes a moment to process this new information and really, everything makes sense as he idly flips through the pamphlet except this one, tiny thing.

“You have other friends?” He says, tone perhaps just a little too surprised. Alex is allowed to have as many friends as he wants, it just seems weird that he hasn't like, heard of them before but Alex just hangs out with them every year.

“Your jealous face right now is adorable” Alex says and Jack blushes.

“We only see each other for these four days because we're from opposite sides of the country and apart from Facebook, we don't really talk all that much but yes, I have other friends and I promise they're just friends”

“You promise?”

Alex kisses his cheek. “I solemnly swear I am not sexually or romantically involved with any of my diabetes friends beyond a completely platonic bromance”

Jack smiles and returns the kiss.

“So this doesn't explain why you're trying to get me to come with you”

If Alex already knows people there, why does he need him?

“Because I love you, you idiot” Alex says fondly. “And okay, usually Rian comes but my mom thinks you should come and so does Rian and for some strange reason like maybe me being in love with you I also think you should come”

“And I would like to come but it's just not going to happen”

“That's the thing – every year we book in advance, a family set of tickets to everything. Four people and you know how my mom is she likes having someone to watch me and really, all you'd need money for is the stupid amount of souvenirs I know you'd buy”

“You're serious?”

Jack is aware that four days at Disneyworld cannot be cheap. He is not worth that much. Really. But the fond expression Alex is staring at him with and the knowledge that it's a usual thing for them to take someone else with them – Jack probably needs to go stalk Rian and make sure he's not stealing his spot, if theoretically, he decides to go.

“Very serious” Alex says seriously, before his expression falters.

“Unless you didn't want to go because it's a kind of weird and sometimes we might have to go to informative stuff and if you didn't want to go i'd understand and and -”

“Alex,” Jack interrupts Alex's tiny rant before he gets too worked up. Him saying no has nothing to do with being weirded out by the diabetes version of a nerdvention.

“I love you and as long as you're aware that if someone asks me a technical question i'm probably going to have no god damn idea, I would love to come on a Disneyworld not quite holiday with you”

Alex's face lights up like Christmas, and Jack just pulls him into a hug.

“But you're the one who's going to have to explain this whole thing to my mom”


	103. Chapter 103

The really, really good news is that neither of them have to explain the whole thing to his mom because at Alex's request Isobel comes over, bringing some fancy herbal tea with her and about a million pieces of paper and all they have to do is sit there while their mothers talk, sip their tea and nod at the appropriate times whilst trying not to convey just how excited they both are.

“And you're sure it wouldn't be any trouble to have Jack along?” Jack's mom says for about the fifteenth time in the last ten minutes and a tiny part of Jack thinks it's ridiculous that she thinks he's going to be trouble. He has never, ever caused any kind of trouble. Ever.

“Absolutely none” Isobel says reassuringly, “We're more than happy to take him and honestly, they couldn't get into trouble even if they wanted to, there's a very good chaperone system”

After a few more enquiries by his mother as to whether or not he'll be a hassle, Jack and Alex take their leave, reasonably sure that Jack will indeed be going to Disneyworld.

“Fucking Disneyworld” Jack breathes as they head up the stairs, trying not to be too excited in case his mother still says no. Highly unlikely, but still possible.

“It's gonna be awesome!” Alex says loudly, clearly not having the same qualms. “I'm gonna make you ride the teacups until you don't know which way is up”

“Or I throw up” Jack says, “Or maybe you'll throw up”

“Five bucks says it's you”

Jack's willing to take that bet.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's not until well into the afternoon and a quick catnap for the both of them that Jack's brain suddenly makes him aware of a rather important thought.

He's going to meet Alex's other friends. Diabetes friends, to be specific. Alex has friends like him. And they're all going to a conference. For people with diabetes. Jack will be the odd one out.

What if Alex's friends think he's stupid? Or bad for him?

“So,” Jack says casually. “You should tell me about these mysterious cross country friends of yours.”

Alex looks up from the magazine he's reading, sprawled sideways across Jack's bed, head resting on a pillow on Jack's ankles and grins.

“You're so jealous” Alex teases and Jack pouts.

“I think i'm allowed to be curious about these friends you have but have never mentioned” Jack whines, “They do know you have a very attractive boyfriend right?”

Alex's fingers comes up to trace gentle patterns on Jack's right knee.

“Well I don't know about attractive, but yes, they know about you”

Jack's pout deepens. Why is Alex being so elusive with his mysterious-mystery friends? He's going to meet them so why bother?

“Pleaseeeee” Jack pleads, trying to mimic that thing that Alex does where his eyes go all big and round and soft. Judging by Alex's amused expression, he's guessing it's not really working.

Alex pats his knee with a fond grin. “I'm jus' teasing, move your fat ass over a bit and let me under the blankets and I will regale you with the tale of my compadres”

Jack has probably never moved so fast in his entire life, practically dragging Alex under the covers and cuddling him close.

“I want to know everything”

“Well,” Alex says, voice taking on what Jack thinks might be his impression of a story-teller voice, “It all began in the summer, some many years ago.......”

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alex turns out to be possibly the worlds worst story-teller, getting distracted and going off on pointless tangents about things like sandwiches or the weather but eventually Jack gets the picture. Alex met his friends at a summer camp - well, two summer camps on opposite sides of a river, one specifically aimed at kids with diabetes (A brilliant idea Jack thinks, because he really couldn't have imagined Alex's parents letting him come to say, the Rudy McIntyre Recreation Camp that Jack himself had gone to where three kids had left with broken bones and the camp counsellors were not all that well, counselly. He probably would've died.) and another on the other.

Alex had made himself two adorable little camp friends (Or so Jack likes to imagine them being little and adorable) and said adorable little friends brother and their other friend were in the opposite camp and after a lot of rowing and swimming and paddle-boating back and forth, a friendship had been formed that even after the original camps had long been disbanded they'd held onto.

The mental image of baby Alex doing camp activities makes Jack want to go right out and buy a tent. Tent sex sounds awesome.

Vic, Jaime, (Apparently not like Jaime at all) Mike and Tony. Jack is kind of terrified to meet them, considering the precedent they have with Alex. All he can really imagine is three more Rian's and lord knows one Rian is more than enough.

Alex is no help, just giggling delightedly and spinning all kinds of stories about how his friends run amuck on the streets of sunny San Diego (God, Jack could drool at the idea of bright, warm weather) and he steadfastly refuses to provide any pictures at all, leading Jack to believe that these guys are either the most handsome creatures on the planet and he should damn well be jealous or they're like, dwarves or something. Little tiny adorable dwarves.

“They're gonna like me, right?”

Alex smirks. “I guess we'll just have to find out”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The only other thing on Jack's mind is Rian and he turns into his mother, sending the other boy a stupid number of texts to make sure it's really, absolutely okay that he goes to Florida with Alex until finally, after another paranoid text just after midnight, he breaks Rian Dawson via a series of messages.

You and Alex are like to fucking peas in a pod you fucking fucks

I am going to stay home and have lots of sex with Zack while you two are away and we're going to fucking enjoy it okay

Now unless you want a nice, detailed play by play of exactly what we're going to do for the love of god stop bugging me and go have fun with Alex alright

And stay safe and keep an eye on him and don't eat too much before you hit the roller coasters trust me - Rian

After that, Jack decides he's probably sorted out the whole Rian situation.


	104. Chapter 104

Two days before they're heading off onto their excellent adventure Jack's mom drags him shopping.

Which would be alright, because Jack doesn't mind shopping.

Just, his mother is a tad stressed out about the trip and what she thinks he's going to need.

They're going to Florida for like, four days. He doesn't need new underwear and socks and a toothbrush or a haircut. (He doesn't get the haircut)

He doesn't need tiny little airport regulation sized bottles of shampoo and conditioner or a pillow or vitamins and he absolutely doesn't need his mother dragging him down the healthcare aisle full of women browsing you know, lady products and depositing him in front of the condoms because she 'knows what goes on on holidays'.

Jack has never, ever been more embarrassed in his entire life his whole face is red all the way down to his neck he can feel it, feel the stares of the other people in the store.

But he's going on holiday with Alex and if that means having his mother make him buy protection in a crowded store, that's what he's gotta do.

At least he's getting some.

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“My old pyjamas are just fine” Jack protests what seems like an age later, laden down with bags of things he still doesn't need.

“They are not fit to be seen in public with” His mother says sternly, flicking through the rack of flannel pyjamas and last time Jack checked pyjamas weren't for the public. They're for bed. Who the fuck is going to see him? What does his mother think he'll be doing in his pyjamas, meeting Walt Disney himself?

Wisely though, he remains silent. 

Alex's friends continue to be elusive. Jack's tried stalking them via Alex's Facebook but it's useless, all their pages friends only, so all he's got is their last names because for some insane reason none of their profile pictures are actually them. There's an ugly looking dog, a cartoon taco, Raphael from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (An excellent program) and a lovely mountain scene. Not helpful at all.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alex comes round for dinner that night, openly laughing at the stack of shopping bags in the corner of Jack's room and in the middle of dessert – ice cream with that magic chocolate topping that freezes (Freezes!) he admits to something Jack's sure he should've scene coming.

“I might just be a teensy, tiny bit anxious about flying”

“Define a teensy, tiny bit?”

“Last year I was holding onto Rian so tight he had the bruises for three weeks”

“That's probably a bit more than teensy, tiny” He says, and Alex frowns and Jack can practically see the other boy shrink into himself.

“But that's okay because lots of people don't like flying” Jack follows quickly, “Though maybe you can hold onto the armrest instead of me”

Jack never wants Alex to feel bad about who he is but he'd also like to remain injury free.

“I don't suppose you could just drug yourself up like people always do in the movies?” Jack continues, wondering just what the fuck he's going to do if Alex properly freaks out because he's not as soothing as Rian can be. You can't just get off a plane mid flight.

Alex's expression lifts a little and the corners of his mouth turn up just a fraction. “Flights not really long enough” He says, “And unless I want my mom using me as a pincushion while i'm out it's probably better than i'm awake”

“All you really have to do is cuddle me and let me use you as a human shield if anything goes wrong” Alex sums up. “And walk me to the bathroom because there's no fucking way i'm going alone”

“So cuddles and me being prepared to lay down my life for you” Jack says, smile in his voice. “I guess I could deal with that”

He decides not to tell Alex that he's really only ever been on a plane a handful of times himself and if something actually did go wrong he'd probably be hiding under his seat crying while awaiting his inevitable death.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: panteraroxmycox@hotmail.com Sent: 9.35pm 4 hour(s) ago

Party pants are packed.


	105. Chapter 105

When they arrive at the Gaskarth's the morning of their departure (Heinously early but Jack's mother had insisted that she drop him off with plenty of time spare, not wanting him to hold them up because clearly he would) Jack's kind of nervous despite Alex's reassurances that it's a really casual, fun weekend that involves Disneyworld he's not convinced he's not going to be woefully out of his depth and seem like a complete moron who shouldn't be anywhere with Alex at all. It's a feeling he's trying to quash, for Alex's sake at least.

His mom follows him to the front door, carrying the second bag she'd insisted he take. He'll be gone for four days and he's probably got enough clothes for the next six months.

Jack's concerns about being over packed are quickly waylaid as Peter opens the door for them, revealing a small mountain of bags already resting in the hallway and well, clearly Jack's mom isn't the only one with a deep misunderstanding of what constitutes as 'necessary' for a four day weekend.

“Morning” Peter greets, stepping back so Jack can add his bags to the stack. “You're welcome to come in for coffee”

Jack's mom shakes her head. “As much as i'd love to, work calls i'm afraid”

She holds her arms out for a hug and Jack obliges. “Now you behave yourself alright, because i've given permission for Peter to get the wooden spoon out if you don't”

“Mo-om” Jack pulls away and gives Peter an embarrassed grin, wonders why Alex hasn't surfaced to say good morning yet. Lucky fuckers probably still asleep

Jack gives his mother a final hug before she announces that she really does have to go, gives him another reminder to behave himself like he's going to a strip club in Vegas not a diabetes convention. How much trouble could he get into, even if he actually tried? There are alligators in Florida and he has no desire to incur their wrath.

“Alex is in the kitchen if you dare, there's a bit of a packing debate going on in there at the moment” Peter says and Jack can't help but smirk because he's not the only one who's had to have packing negotiations with his mother.

As he heads down the hall towards the kitchen Jack can hear Isobel's voice, rising and falling in a tone that sounds like she's said these words thousands time before and if she's anything like his own mom there's only so long before that softly exasperated tone turns into something a little more insistent, so Jack figures he'd better make his entrance sooner rather than later.

“Jack!” Isobel says cheerfully and shit, if Jack thought his mother was crazy for insisting he had seven pairs of socks it's nothing compared to the mountain of stuff piled onto the kitchen table where Alex sits, still in his pyjamas. He expression isn't one of great joy but he does smile when he sees Jack, holding out his arms and Jack treks across the room, lets Alex pull him onto his lap.

“Morning” He greets, kissing the top of Alex's head.

“Jack dear” Isobel begins, “Could you please inform Alexander here that as his mother, I have the final say on what he's taking?”

Jack warily eyes the multitude of diabetes miscellanea spread across the table and winces, knowing full well that Alex's mom is using him for leverage because of course whilst not everything is you know, essential to Alex's survival during a four day period he can totally understand where she's coming from with wanting to be prepared for any and every kind of Alex situation.

But it feels a tad like betrayal as he obligingly nods his head and rests his chin on Alex's head.

“It couldn't hurt to have a few extra things” He mumbles, trying to be diplomatic.

Alex pinches him. Hard.

“Hey!” Jack yelps. “What was I supposed to say”

“You were supposed to say that there is no way in hell i'm ever going to need all of this stuff when we're going away for four days” Alex says petulantly.

“Well” Jack says, suddenly having a brilliant idea to try and appease both parties. “What about if you take what you think you need and i'll carry the rest with me when we get there?”

There's silence, before Isobel makes an affirmative noise. “I think that would be alright, don't you Alexander?” She says brightly, and Jack pokes Alex's cheek until he looks up and despite the pout still on his face Jack can see in his eyes that everything's good.

“I guess that works” Alex says, “But you're going to be carrying it around for nothing i'm sure”

Jack smiles, “That's okay with me”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Packing issues sorted Alex heads upstairs to get dressed and Jack watches, enjoying the brief glimpses of nudity he gets as Alex trades his sleep pants for jeans and tugs on a bright blue hoodie, wedging his pump into it's pockets as he disappears into his bathroom in search of a belt.

“Are you sure you have everything?” Jack asks as they start to head downstairs and Alex just raises his middle finger, still running a brush through his hair as they make their way back to the kitchen where his parents are now consulting one of many lists his mothers made.

It takes a good twenty minutes to get everything loaded into the Gaskarth's car and Alex's suitcase is fucking adorable because it has fucking rainbow ladybugs on it, with a matching ladybug travel tag. Jack's own navy blue case pales in comparison.

They all pause for a brief moment while Alex tests, Peter organising all their tickets in the front seat while Isobel runs back inside to grab a few more forgotten things they just might need before finally, finally, exactly two and a half hours before their flight they leave the Gaskarth residence behind.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Compared to the small, almost rural airport Jack's usually familiar with Baltimore airport (Or Baltimore-Washington-Whateverthefuckitis) is fucking massive. There's cars packed bumper to bumper on the freeway exit and all Jack can see is planes landing and taking off amongst a stack of huge grey buildings. It's awesome.

It takes forever for them to find a park and it seems like they're a million miles away from where they need to be, dragging their impressive collection of bags onto a waiting shuttle bus and Jack's kind of stupidly excited, staring out the window and unable to look away because these aren't just little charter flights, these are huge ass proper air planes like you see on TV and movies. Although generally in movies they're on fire or hijacked by terrorists. He doesn't mention either of those things to Alex, who just smiles at him and shakes his head in amusement.

“You'd think you'd never been to an airport before” He teases and Jack sticks his tongue out.

“We can't all be fancy pants metropolitan city dwellers” Jack retorts, “The biggest plane i've ever been in was for like, a hundred people so excuse me for being a tad excited about real planes”

“You're excused”

Jack just waggles his tongue some more, until he catches Isobels eye and remembers that they are indeed surround by other people. People who probably don't appreciate seeing the inside of a teenage boys mouth at ten o'clock in the morning.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They get dropped off in terminal three and Jack has no idea what a terminal actually is but he presumes that they're numbered so you don't accidentally end up on a flight to Africa or something.

The first thing he really notices as they step through the huge sliding glass doors in the cavernous insides of the building is that it's freaking cold. Million dollar airport, no heating. Of course.

People are everywhere, lots of businessmen and women and grumpy looking people clutching cups of coffee like lifelines and the occasional howl of a child somewhere in the distance. It's crazy.

Jack finds himself at the back of the little line they make to start navigating their way to the check-in area, Peter, then Isobel and then Alex and all Jack has to do is follow the ladybugs.

It's a little quieter once they hit the middle of the building, most people now viciously staking out their little collection of chairs and glaring at him if he walks too close.

At the check-in gates there's two stupidly long lines where people are being run through security and metal detectors and Jack sends a silent prayer to whoever might be out there that no ones going to probe him. Or Alex. But he's praying for himself first.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The line is horrendously, horribly boring. It's been twenty minutes and they've moved barely ten feet.

Jack follows Alex and sits himself down on the top of his suitcase, rests his head against Alex's shoulder. Their holiday hasn't even started yet and he's kind of tired.

It's another twenty minutes before they're nearly at the front of the line and Jack looks on wide eyed as people shed their metallic belongings and walk through the gates, reads through the huge list of non-permitted items.

Alex pokes his shoulder and Jack jumps, caught up in his obsessive watching.

“You should jump over to the other gate with dad” Alex says, “Because i'm about to back this one up”

“What, why?” Jack would really prefer to remain as close to Alex as possible.

Alex leans in close to whisper in his ear. “Because i'm secretly a terrorist” He says, and Jack flinches because he knows if there's one word you don't say in an airport it's the t word and Alex just laughs, pats him on the shoulder.

“My pump can't go through the detector and i'm also technically carrying drugs and weapons” Alex elaborates and oh, yeah. Jack hadn't really thought about it possibly being difficult for Alex to get through with all his stuff.

“Come on” Peter coaxes, “We'll get through and go and get breakfast and be back by the time they're done”

Jack is tense the entire time he drops his phone and belt and keys and other assorted junk onto the tray and hesitantly follows Peter through the gate, full expecting the alarm to go off any minute and people leaping out to like, taser him or something. Before they take him away to probe him.

Thankfully, it's an alarm and probe free experience and as they collect their bags on the other side Jack casts a glance back to Alex and his mom, who are surround by at least three important looking airport people and Alex just looks plain old fucking tiny as he holds out his pump for well, presumably because they asked just what the fuck was going on.

Instead of coffee, Jack and Alex have hot chocolate. Partly because Jack prefers chocolate to coffee any day and partly because he really, really doesn't need any caffeine in his system when he needs to sit still for hours and hours.

Alex had made it through security unscathed and all four of them head to settle in the lounge after dropping their bags off and Jack can't stop looking outside, watching the planes on the tarmac.


	106. Chapter 106

It's not until their flight is called that Alex starts to look a little pale and his casual demeanour changes into something a little more tense, expression a little more drawn.

Jack links their elbows, pulls Alex close.

“You”re gonna be fine” He murmurs, “I'm right here”

Alex just hmms and taps nervously at his phone as they begin to make their way to the boarding gate, carry-on slung over his shoulder.

Peter hands over their tickets and filled with an unnatural amount of glee Jack follows him down the gangway, tries not to rush Alex along no matter how much he wants to be on the plane absolutely right now because he's excited okay.

Him and Alex are in seats 19-20E and the parents Gaskarth three rows behind them and Jack sort of nudges Alex into his seat.

“Which is better for you, aisle or window?”

Alex stares at him for a moment, and Jack can see the white-knuckled grip he's got on his bag.

“Uh, window I guess”

They sit down and Alex pulls his bag from around his shoulders, shoves it into the handy little elasticated compartment on the back of the chair in front.

Jack takes a moment to stick his head out the aisle and look down the length of the plane, which is rapidly filling with other passengers.

It's not a huge, huge plane but it's still pretty damn big.

Alex sits stiffly, arms curled around his middle and eyes wide as the crew go through the safety procedures, fastens his seatbelt with shaky hands.

Jack adjusts his own seatbelt, apparently the last person who sat here may have indeed been a dwarf and snaps it together before the floor seems to rumble beneath them for a moment as the planes engines start up and Alex's face goes from nervous to flat out terrified.

“It's okay” Jack says soothingly, reaching for Alex's hands and folding them over the armrest, resting his own hands on top, rubs his thumbs over Alex's wrists hidden just inside the sleeves of his hoodie. He loves Alex, but he's not going to risk long-lasting bruises or broken fingers. Not before Disneyworld, anyway.

“Jus' the engines” Alex whispers, tucking his head down and Jack leans as close to Alex as he can, lets his boyfriend tuck his head into the crook of his neck as he watches the window, sees the scenery start to move around them, the plane heading for the runway.

The runway is smooth as they accelerate, a luxury that Jack hasn't experienced before, their local airport having a runway that might as well been made of small mountains.

Alex starts to tremble against him and Jack feels awful for him, knows there's nothing he can do but be there and maintain the knowledge that no one of them have forced Alex into this, that he wants to go and is in some way okay with what's going on.

He catches a few curious looks from the people around them as they lift off the ground and Alex lets out a strangled whimper, a hand prising itself from the armrest and he bites down on his knuckles, struggling to keep quiet and Jack glares at them until they look away.

A hostess comes by and Jack waves her on, just mumbles something about Alex being a nervous flyer and she nods understandingly, carries on her way.

Jack slides his free hand around Alex's waist and it's not the most comfortable position but the way Alex leans into him makes it worth it and Jack can see how hard he's trying to hold himself together.

“Are we there yet?” Alex whispers near ten minutes later, fingers still in his mouth but his body mostly still, as if it's too terrified to even move at all.

“Not yet” Jack says, letting a smile grace his lips. Alex is gonna be just fine.

“I have, have to test” Alex says stiffly, fingers still death-gripping the upholstered armrest. “For some unknown magical fucking reason flying always makes me high”

It's a little bump in the road that Jack wasn't expecting. He can do panicked Alex, or high/low Alex. Generally, they don't really mix and when they do, it's usually a Rian-situation.

But Rian isn't here, they're several thousand feet above the ground and he really doesn't think getting Isobel to come and help is going to be all that helpful.

He needs a plan.

Or rather, he doesn't because Alex is carefully removing his other hand from the armrest and reaching for his bag and going through the motions as if on autopilot and Jack really has to try not to snicker at thought because that would just be awful but still. Autopilot. He's a horrible boyfriend.

The same people who's looks he'd caught before Jack catches again and he glares at them and bares his teeth this time, because they can just mind their own goddamn business.

As Alex settles back into his seat and gives him a stiff sort of shrug that Jack interprets as his numbers being fine so he digs into his pockets, tugging out his Ipod and untangling the ever permanent knot that is his headphones.

“Wanna share?” He asks, offering an ear bud to Alex.

“No songs about flying” Alex says and Jack does snicker, flicking through his playlists for something soothing. He things maybe something nice and acoustic would be good. (Definitely not Big Jet Plane)

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As the plane rolls to a stop Jack looks out the window and if the brightness of the sun is anything to go by it's a wonderfully warm day in Florida.

It takes a few moments of coaxing to convince Alex they have landed, that he can take off his seatbelt and leave the plane but Isobel comes up and helps them along, Jack enjoying the ability to walk on solid ground even if it's only been a pretty short flight.

They find themselves in another line not too long after they've collected their bags, more security guards and gates and all those good things.

Alex tests while they wait, the three of them forming an instinctive sort of little bubble around him as he does so and as he holds up his meter so they can see Isobel makes one of those motherly noises.

“Have something now” She says, “And we'll do a late lunch before we go to the hotel”

Alex nods, digging around in his carry-on for peanut butter crackers, holding two out to Jack as he holds two of his own between his teeth and Jack takes them, not opposed to a snack himself. He knows Alex doesn't want to be the only person eating in the middle of a security line in which generally, most people would wait until they'd gone through. Alex can't, but the whole world doesn't need to know that.

This time it's just a single line, so Jack gets to experience the amazing wonders of watching Alex and Isobel get molested and interrogated by security in person and he thinks that maybe the airlines could make a handy dandy little guide to explain to their employees that Alex is not trying to blow everyone up and so they don't need to call like seven other people over to ask exactly the same questions.

Still, Alex doesn't seem all that bothered so Jack tries not to be irritated.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The second they step out of airport and into the sun Jack can't help but twirl on the spot because the sun, the warm glowing sun that is warm and not cold and he immediately sheds his hoodie, embraces the warmth on his winter-whitened skin.

It's a ten minute walk to the rental car station and Jack enjoys every moment, taking Alex's bags from him and helping Peter load them into the little orange sedan they've been assigned.

“It's so warm i'm just going to live here forever” He announces as he clambers into the car behind Alex, who smiles at him, the colour coming back to his cheeks.

“But then i'll be all alone” Alex says, throwing himself across the seat dramatically, cling to Jack's arm. “And then who will protect me from the monsters under my bed”

“You can move with me and we'll eat oranges and have pet alligators and excellent tans and play bingo with old people”

Alex makes a face. “I don't like oranges or alligators and I definitely don't tan”

Jack shrugs. “Well I guess I can come visit you sometimes”

Alex whacks him and Jack howls obnoxiously because Alex is a bony motherfucker.

“Boys, please” Isobel says with a wry grin. “Just keep it together for a little while longer”

Luckily, both him and Alex are permitted a little bit of run around like the morons they are time in a local park across from the sandwich place they've stopped at for lunch (After they've eaten of course) and Alex looses his hoodie as well as they frolic in the sun, chasing each other around a playground pirate ship.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's mid afternoon by the time they're back on the road on the way to their hotel and the beginning of their magical fun time.

Pent up energy expended both of them are mostly quiet, Alex playing Flappy Bird on his phone will little success and Jack watches excitedly out the window (Which he's been able to roll down because the air isn't icy enough to stab him in the eyeballs for once)

Florida isn't all the different to Baltimore, apart from the masses of people on the streets wearing flip-flops and straw hats and as they pass closer to the coast, rather attractive ladies in bikinis. Jack wonders if he could convince Alex to don some alluring swimwear.

Jack's apt attention to the window has waned some fifteen minutes later, he's finding it much more entertaining to mock Alex everytime he loses until they're plunged into the pitch black of a tunnel and Alex looks up from the now bright light of his phone.

“And on the left” He says in monotone, “You'll be able to catch your first glimpse of the most magical place on earth”

Sure enough as they come out of the tunnel and Jack does indeed look left and holy shit, he can see the castle.

He can see actual, real motherfucking Disneyworld and it's so close he can almost touch it and they're going there and he's here with the most amazing boy in the world and it's just so, so awesome he might explode.

“Oh my god” Is all he manages to say and everyone laughs, Alex leaning over to kiss him on the cheek.

“You're adorable”

“Shush, you're ruining the view” Jack says, sticking his head out the window as far as his seatbelt will allow and as they round a corner he can see so much more, the tops of rides and colourful buildings and fuck, he's actually going to Disneyworld.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If seeing Disneyworld from afar is awesome, seeing Disneyworld from one of the top floors of a nearby hotel is infinitely better and the Coronado Springs Resort delivers on all fronts and Jack feels like a young Hugh Hefner, except that there's only space for one bunny in his heart.

They got to travel to their floor in a glass elevator. With elevator music. And Alex let him push the buttons.

Their room is amazing (And by either miracle or design several rooms away from Alex's parents) with full length windows and the worlds comfiest bed with soft cream covers and a vintage Disney poster framed above it and Jack wants nothing more than to push Alex down onto the bed and have his way with him except that Alex is busy moving his clothes from his suitcase to the fancy, fancy drawers and wardrobe like some kind of crazy person. Jack's never unpacked his suitcase beyond making a pile of dirty clothes on the floor.

“We're not moving in you know” He teases and Alex just shrugs, mutters something about being organised.

Jack can see Disneyworld from his window he has no need for organisation.

Outside their room he can hear footsteps and voices as more people must be checking in – they're in a special section apparently, reserved just for convention goers and Jack can't want to meet Alex's friends.

“So when do I get to meet these friends of yours?” He asks, throwing himself back onto the bed and propping an extra, ridiculously plush pillow behind his head.

“Not yet” Alex says, carefully folding another pair of jeans and putting them away. “They fly in tonight so we'll probably meet up in the morning if that's cool with you”

It is so intensely okay with Jack even though the closer he gets to meeting these guys the more nervous he gets. What if they think he's not good enough for Alex, can't take care of him?

“Well tell them to hurry up” He replies playfully, lodging a pillow at Alex's head.

Alex throws the pillow back and Jack dodges it easily, fist pumps the air in victory.

“You gonna tell me what they look like so I can keep an eye out for them?”

Alex pauses in his packing, gives Jack a wry grin. “Nope” He says, “It's a surprise”

The possibility of Alex's friends actually being dwarves is ever increasing.


	107. Chapter 107

The next morning (After an amazing nights sleep in their beautiful bed and really, Jack has some serious plans for Alex before they leave) basking in the warm sun and positively gleeful about being about to wear a t-shirt for the first time in months, Jack takes Alex's hand in his as they make their way to the conference hall itself, gleaming white and befitted with a huge banner as they walk behind Alex's parents. For today he's agreed to be Alex's pack mule, carrying pretty much the diabetes equivalent of the kitchen sink. It kind of makes him feel important.

As they head inside, besides the airport, Jack's sure he's never, ever seen so many people in one place. The hall foyer is fucking huge and it's packed with people and conversation and possibly also the most food Jack's ever seen in his life. And it smells awesome. Note quite as awesome as the time his middle school took a trip to a chocolate factory, but still pretty good.

There's just lines and line and lines of nearly organised bay maries and containers and stacks of plates and bowls and everywhere people are sitting at tables, laughing and eating and smiling and fuck, are all these people really diabetic? It seems like an awful, awful lot of people and it makes Jack frown for a moment before Alex is tugging him along to join a line, where a friendly woman with pink hair affixes a wristband to each of them and wishes them a great time. Not a nice time, not a good time, a great time.

Florida is the best.

“Hey” He says, as they step out of the line to wait for the parents Gaskarth. “How come we've got different colours?”

His own band is white, while Alex's is green. He hopes they're not like, in separate groups or something.

“Because i'm special and you're not” Alex announces brightly. “Green is for us special snowflakes and all you normal people get white because no one cares enough to give you a colour”

Jack is an idiot. Of course.

Jack loves peppy, sassy Alex and quite frankly, doesn't get to see him enough. They've been here for what, not even a day and something about Alex has changed, just the smallest bit that Jack probably wouldn’t have even noticed if he wasn't around his boyfriend constantly.

Isobel and Peter reappear with white wristbands of their own and interupt the sassy reply Jack was trying to think of by nudging them further out of the way of the line.

“I've just gotten a text from some friends of ours saying they're outside so if I can trust you to keep an eye on each other you can get breakfast and organise your day yourselves” Isobel announces, looking pointedly at Alex.

“I want muffins” Is all Alex says before his mothers stare intensifies and he sighs.

“And I will test before I eat and double check that i'm reading the right things before I bolus and make sure that Jack doesn't get abducted by aliens”

“That's my boy” Peter says, giving Isobel a nod and it's her turn to sigh and now she turns to Jack and fuck, is he supposed to say something?

“There's a schedule of events and map in your bag” Is all she says, before breaking into a proper smile. “Now off you go, have fun and all that”

“Fun is my middle name” Jack says brightly, before Alex is grabbing his arm and dragging him through the crowds of people.

There is every single thing you could ever dream of to have for breakfast ever and Jack defers to Alex because he's got no fucking idea what to do or where to go. And he's hungry.

“Okay” Alex says, stopping in front of a table filled with utensils. “We're going to meet back here in five minutes with whatever we're having and then we'll go find somewhere to sit, sound good?”

“Sounds good”

Jack decides that he's going to have a proper breakfast with proper breakfast things. Scrambled eggs and bacon (Delicious bacon) toast with peanut butter and an orange juice box.

He heads back to the table to wait for Alex, who reappears with the most unappealing breakfast ever. Blueberry muffin, some kind of awful looking muesli and yoghurt mix, a little dish of fruit salad and a sachet of honey, completed by a strawberry milk.

They end up sort of outside, in a covered patio area that's a little quieter than inside, grabbing a table in the corner a little further away from everyone else.

Alex crumbles his muffin and deposits it into the yoghurt-muesli mush, adding the fruit and honey as well.

“That's disgusting” Jack says, taking a bite of his toast.

“It's delicious” Alex counters, mashing everything around with his spoon.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alex leaves halfway through his disgusting 'breakfast' bowl of mush to get a second box of strawberry milk and Jack takes the time to lean back in his chair and catch a few additional rays of sun and stuff his mouth with more food than is polite when you have company and it's not until he rocks forward again to get another mouthful that he sees Alex through the glass, strawberry milk in hand and Jack waves at him before Alex reappears at their table, sliding back into his seat.

“I bought cookies as well” Alex announces cheerfully, “Maple choc-chip”

“Arrmuffnoo” Jack says, voice muffled because his mouth is filled with bacon and it's because of his bacon-full mouth that he can't alert Alex to the tall, tattooed stranger coming up behind him with a quite frankly terrifying grin and Alex lets out an alarmed shriek as the stranger claps his hands over Alex's eyes and says 'Why so serious' in an almost exact mimic of the the Joker and Jack just stares, mouth agape as he tries to process what's going on.

“Mike!” Alex chirps brightly and Jack lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding because fuck, it's okay they're going to live because this gangly human is one of Alex's friends and not a serial killer or anything.

Alex stands up and the lets the boy pull him into an altogether too intimate hug according to Jack, because friend of Alex or not this stranger does not get to paw at his boyfriend like that.

“You're shrinking, amigo” Mike says when he finally (Fucking finally) pulls away and his eyes lock with Jack and Jack tries to both smile in a friendly way and also convey that Alex is uhm, his.

“And this must the Jack you never shut up about” He continues, leaning across the table and holding out an equally tattooed hand and Jack takes it, the two of them sharing a manly handshake and yeah, he might just be the tiniest bit intimidated.

“Jack, this is Mike, and Mike, this is my amazing boyfriend Jack”

Jack blushes like a teenage girl and there's nothing he can do to stop it. Alex thinks he's amazing.

“Nice to meet you” Jack offers, and Mike gives him a friendly grin and despite his tallness (He's definitely taller than Jack and Jack is tall okay) first impressions are good. A little scary, but good.

“Didn't mean to interrupt your breakfast but I saw you while we were in line and didn't want to lose you”

“It's fine” Jack says, beating Alex to it. “You're uh, welcome to join us?”

Jack's still not all that good at whole meeting people thing. It was only pure luck that had led to him choosing to pick Alex, Zack and Rian for directions that very first day.

Mike claps a hand onto Alex's shoulder. “I'm liking this one already” He says, and Alex just grins.

“Go get food and bring everyone back with you” Alex prompts. “And bring more cookies” Mike just flashes him a bright grin and nods, turning on his heels and disappearing back into the foyer.

“So?” Alex says, turning to him and his face is serious but his eyes are fucking sparkling with happiness and even if Jack had immediately hated Mike there's no way in hell he could ever want to take that sparkle away.

“That impression is fucking creepy” Jack says, “And no one gets to hug you like that but me”

Alex laughs, sitting back down at the table and opening his milk. “There might be a couple more hugs before you can properly enforce that”

Jack pouts. “I thought I was amazing”

Alex just leans over and pats him on the head. “I promise after everyone’s hugged me hello you can be a possessive as you want”

“Pinky promise?”

Alex holds out his hand.


	108. Chapter 108

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And finally all of PTV are actually in residence :)

While they wait for Mike and the rest of Alex's friends to appear Jack is too nervous to continue eating because shit, these are Alex's mysterious mystery friends and they're about to not be mysteries anymore.

He really hopes they're not all tall and tattooed because as nice as Mike had seemed in the few minutes he'd been with them he's not at all the cute, adorable kind of camp friend he'd imagined Alex having. (He's sure there’s someone out there would find Mike to be just their kind of adorable, but Jack isn't that guy) He wonders which side of the river Mike was on because he hadn't been wearing a wristband yet but Jack supposes that mystery will be solved soon enough because no one can miss the fluro green they've used.

Alex continues to eat his mush and as Jack catches his eye Alex just winks at him as he chews.

“You look like a dog waiting to see it's owner” His boyfriend says with a snicker and Jack just raises an eyebrow, keeps staring over Alex's shoulder and at the glass doors. He wants to see Alex's friends before Alex does.

“I wanna see what they look like already” Jack whines in reply, “Because someone’s been a real dick and hasn't said at all”

Alex scoops up another spoonful of mush. “I keep telling you it's a surprise”

It feels like forever until Jack sees Mike again, his bright blue snapback like a little beacon coming towards them and as he opens the door he holds it and three more figures tumble through the patio entryway.

He immediately dubs one of them 'Mini-Mike' because of the ink also decorating his skin and the exact same hat but in grey and alongside Mini-Mike is a shorter, broad-shouldered boy with spiked up hair and after him is a boy who's a little more like Jack's imagined, short tiny and with shoulder length brown hair and an olive coloured beanie which matches the cargo shorts he's wearing. And he's got a backpack and Jack's willing to admit he's adorable in some kind of weird, not-exactly-his-type kind of way.

“Alex!” They chorus loudly, drawing a few nods and smiles from the people on the other side of the patio (And why, Jack wonders, are these people nicer than plane people) before all three of them run over and instead of mauling Alex with joy like Jack is expecting a line is formed with spiky-hair first, his grin broad as Alex stands up and lets himself be yanked into a bear hug.

“Alex fucking Gaskarth” The boy says, lifting Alex off the ground and twirling him around with an ease that Jack only wished he possessed.

“Jaim-time” Alex squeaks before he's deposited on solid ground, reaching a hand up to run through who Jack (Using his amazing intelligence) assumes is Jaime's hair.

“Your hair is magical as always” Alex says, “It's fucking awful how soft it is”

Jaime laughs, returning the favour and ruffling Alex's carefully coiffed and styled hair. “It's a tragic crime, I know” He replies, before stepping back a little bit so Mini-Mike can take his place and and their hug is much less dramatic but no less friendly, the boy allowing Alex to step forward into his arms before he reciprocates.

“Hi” The boy says, voice soft and melodic as he pulls away. “Long time no see”

Alex just tugs him back into the hug.

“Hey now, what about me” Comes another voice, belonging to short-with-backpack. “I should've been first”

“Saving the best for last” Alex says smoothly and Mini-Mike steps back as if it's instinctive, giving Alex the tiniest nudge forward though it's hardly needed and this hug, this hug is different from the others and yes, Jack feels just the slightest (Okay a little more than slight) pang of jealously as Alex and this final friend practically melt into each others embrace and the height difference would be almost comical if the two of them weren't so almost purposefully silent as they stand wrapped around each other, Alex's chin resting on backpacks boys beanie clad head.

They hold their hug the longest and all of them just stay quiet, although Jaime meets his eye and gives him an enthusiastic wave which Jack returns, albeit with not as much energy.

Eventually though, they do part and Jack makes a mental note to remind Alex just whos boyfriend he is.

Alex turns to them, still rather close to tiny, their elbows brushing and he looks so goddamn happy that any jealously Jack might have is easily stowed away for later.

“This is Vic” Alex says, throwing an arm around now-Vic's shoulders, “Perfect hair over there is Jaime, and of course the lovely Tony”

“I'm Jack” Jack blurts, as everyones attention fixes on him. He gets more handshakes too and it must be a San Diego thing because Jack doesn't he's ever shaken hands with people his age unless it's like, well he hasn't actually ever.

There's a beat of silence as they all kind of just look at each other until Alex looks back as his mush bowl and then to his friends again.

“You were supposed to bring breakfast” He says, raising an eyebrow in Mike's direction.

“Dude, did you really think I have the powers necessary to convince these idiots to get food first?” Mike says, lifting his hands up in a 'what can you do' kind of gesture.

“Go fuck yourself” Tony says kindly, “Alex is much better than food”

“No he isn't” Jaime interrupts, “He's just better than immediate food” He casts Alex a cheeky grin and Jack likes these guys already.

“I vote I get to stay here while you three get breakfast” Vic says, “I saw muffins and I want like, one of every flavour”

“The muffins are awesome” Alex says, and the two of them turn in synch and automatically hi-five.

Jack just shakes his head, muffins, really? There's bacon and yet muffins seem to be the breakfast food of preference.

“You just want special Alex time and I mean that in the least sexual way possible because of course Alex now has the splendid Jack here” Jaime says in rush and Vic just wraps an arm around Alex's waist and raises a single finger.

“I can monopolise my favourite east-coast human if I want” He says, and Mike just shrugs.

“Come on before they run out of bacon” Mike says, and that Jack approves of.

“Stay out of trouble” Are Jaime's parting words before him, Tony and Mike make the trek back inside.

“It's so good to see you” Vic says as he and Alex sit down on the other side of the table and Jack had kind of been hoping that Alex would sit next to him but that's cool, he can understand Alex wanting to be with his friends. It's just, what the hell is he supposed to say?

“One day you'll have to come and hang with us in the 'More” Alex says, sliding the remainder of his breakfast towards himself, picking up his spoon.

“You know I don't do snow and that looks absolutely disgusting”

“That's what I said” Jack chips in, “It's like if a cat threw up milkshake”

Vic laughs and Alex pouts.

“Five minutes and you're already ganging up on me” He whines, “This was a terrible idea”

Vic pats Alex on the head. “You'll get over it soon enough” He says sympathetically, shooting Jack an adorable grin and stealing a blueberry from Alex's bowl of mush and uh, Jack's not sure he's down with that. Nobody steals Alex's food but him.

“You don't get to mock my food and then steal it” Alex protests, “Get your own damn blueberries”

Vic sticks out his tongue. “I will” He declares before pulling out his phone and it's only then that Jack notices the green band around his wrist as his thumbs tap away, no doubt trying to convince one of the others to get him said blueberries.

So Vic is one, and if anything that makes his diminutive figure even more intimidating because Alex had said that Vic and him are just that little closer than he is with the others and Jack knows that Vic probably knows everything about Alex, is obviously aware and able to deal with all the diabetes things Jack's still trying to wrap his head around.

He's so out of his depth and it's only breakfast and only one of Alex's friends is actually at the table.

He's going to make a fool out f himself, he just knows it.

“Alright,” Vic says, resting his elbows on the table and blinking up at Alex with a serious expression, big brown eyes a little unnerving in their intensity. “Tell me more how you met Jack here I want all the horribly awkward details”

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alex is just finishing his recount of their as Vic had so wonderfully put it 'blossoming romance' when the rest of Alex's friends return, a mountain of plates in hand.

“I come bearing muffins and blueberries” Jaime says triumphantly, setting a plate of two muffins, a bowl of blueberries and a chocolate milk down in front of Vic who leans up and kisses him on the cheek and Jack must be making a bug-eyed expression that conveys how surprised he is because Alex leans across the table towards him with a grin.

“Jaime and Vic are dating, as are Tony and Mike” Alex informs him.

“We're all a bit gay” Jaime adds, sitting down to Jack's left with his plate of scrambled eggs and bacon with tomato, another nice, proper breakfast.

“Nice” Jack says, wondering just how the odds might work out to be in group of not only three type ones but all six of them with boyfriends. It's an equation he might have to spare some time to figure out. It also of course means absolute disaster for him because everyone else no doubt knows more than he does.

Tony takes a seat next to Vic and Mike ends up on Jack's other side, also with bacon. Jack approves.

Tony has eggs and toast and some kind of like, spinach or something. Still better than Alex's mush though. He also has a green band wrapped around a tattooed wrist.

And Tony makes two. Which makes three.

Jack drinks his juice, an awkward lump in his throat. He has to be good for Alex.


	109. Chapter 109

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are all so nice with the nice things you say <3

Breakfast with Alex's friends isn't all that difference from just breakfast with Alex, except that there's two extra people doing what Jack tends to consider 'Alex things'.

Three people with notes either on their hands or phones or little pieces of paper to work out carb and insulin ratios (Jaime holds out his sharpie covered hand to Vic and it's the sweetest thing and also something Jack hasn't ever dared to do for fear of fucking up) and Vic leans over Alex's shoulders to compare the apparent difference between normal muffins and gluten free muffins while Tony who's a tad ahead of Vic, pulls out his pump under the table and it's got a skin to match his case and meter of bad-ass looking skulls and crossbones and pirate flags and it's just you know, awesome.

Jack kind of subtly keeps his eye on Vic, wonders if he's got a cool skin as well. Maybe Alex would like one. Is that the kind of gift you can get for someone?

Vic however, retrieves an insulin pen from his backpack, a more refined version of the ones Alex had used in a sleek metallic blue and it's weird to say but it looks pretty cool. And instead of a snazzy skin, his meter is metallic as well, but pink instead. Jack approves of shiny things.

“Ooh that's new” Alex exclaims, promptly holding out his hand and waggling his fingers in Vic's direction.

“Lemme see”

Vic hands the pen over with a bemused expression.

“They came out like, three months ago?”

“Four months” Mike corrects, buttering his toast.

“Got a dose timer and everything” Vic adds, “But still no awesome colour options besides that and ye olde silver”

Alex hands the pen back, pats Vic on the shoulder.

“Just because you like mind-melting orange doesn't mean everyone else does”

Jack politely averts his gaze back to his last few mouthfuls of food while Vic does his business, because there's staring at ones boyfriend and there's staring at strangers and the latter is not usually a thing people do.

Everyone digs in then, knives and forks and spoons clattering against plates and bowls, Alex sucking at the straw of his milk and Jack nudges his foot under the table and Alex smiles at him around his straw.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Twenty minutes later and Jack finds himself following behind a very excited Alex and friends, who'd leapt up and cheered at the PA announcement that a youth soccer tournament was starting up in the recreation hall a few buildings down from the convention hall itself and the hopeful grin Alex had been wearing when he'd asked if he'd be okay with going meant that there was no way Jack could turn him down.

He does however, remind his boyfriend that neither of them are all that co-ordinated.

They jump in line behind a bunch of older guys, college students maybe and Jaime is talking a mile a minute about perhaps a local San Diegan soccer league (Or hell it could be any league the only soccer team Jack knows is Manchester United) and Vic looks like he's actually paying attention, firing back defensively as Jaime curses a certain player Vic assures is better than the team he's in.

As they approach the front of line Jack casts his gaze across the hall, more of an indoor sports arena with two netted soccer fields, people stretching and running laps down the far end and it all looks completely normal except for the bowl full of little pre-packed sugary treats resting on a little table beside a bright yellow sharps bin and another small bin, presumably for people to put their test strips in but it's clearly not working because there’s one about three feet from where Jack's standing and no sports have even happened yet.

There's not really any discussion of their team name beyond Jaime suggesting 'Team Sparkly Unicorns' and everyone sort of giggling and then saying okay and soon enough their names are down on the draw to play two games.

Team Sparkly Unicorns for the win.

Jack's assumptions about his soccer abilities ring true. Soccer just isn't his game, he keeps tripping over his feet and getting tangled with the ball and if he somehow manages to stop the ball with his foot and then kick it away again it's never in the right direction and shit, he has to be the worst soccer player ever because during their five-minute half time break Mike suggests that he swaps with Jaime and becomes goal keeper.

It's less about how disappointed in himself he is and more about how he's disappointing Alex, who is all smiles and laughter and at least he can kick the ball the right way.

They do however, end up winning both their games despite his awfulness. But both teams were mostly teenage girls who are younger than them so Jack's not sure if it counts but they celebrate as if it does, cheers and hi-fives and Alex pulls him into a hug Jack's sure he doesn't deserve.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back outside (They'd elected to not move up a division to play with the college kids, they know when to fold 'em) they're walking back towards the conference building when as they pass by a little landscaped area complete with park bench, Mike stops suddenly, causing an almost pile up.

“What gives?” Vic grumbles, having been sandwiched between Mike and Tony.

Mike just makes a very weird series of facial expressions that must be the equivalent of Zack and Rian's eyebrow conversations because Vic immediately stands taller, stiffer.

“You're not mom” Vic says in a matter of fact tone, “So don't start this shit again i'm the older brother here”

Mike lifts his hands into the air, the expression of innocence.

“And mom told me to make sure you were capable of fulfilling your older brotherly duties”

“Well you can shove what mom said right up yo-”

“Guys!” Tony interrupts and out of the corner of his eye Jack can see Jaime stifling a smile.

“Let's try to make a good impression on Jack, at least for a little bit longer”

Tony gives him a shy grin, which Jack hesitantly returns.

“Besides,” Tony continues, as both Mike and Tony open their mouths to speak - “It's a nice day out here and honestly we were probably all going to test when we got back to the hall so it doesn't really matter if it's now, does it?”

He's greeted with silence, and Mike drops his head, looks sheepish.

“Sorry babe” He mumbles and Jaime snorts, a noise so choked and ridiculous that soon enough they're all trying to contain their own laughter and Jack's a little amazed at how quickly the mood can rise and fall between these guys.

Though, he supposes it has to be hard to keep an eye on both a brother and a boyfriend without learning to let things go and fuck, it's so weird to know that Vic is the older brother because he's so goddamn tiny and young looking and Mikes so goddamn tall and just, authoritative.

Vic slings off his backpack with a thud, unzips it and holds Tony’s case out and then pulls out his own and Jack's so caught up in watching (And wondering just what Mike and Vic’s parents must look like to have such differently heighted offspring) that he jumps when Alex appears beside him, unzipping the kitchen sink he's carrying and pulling out his own meter case and then Alex and Vic and Tony sort of migrate into a weird little circle and Jack stares because it's all kind of surreal.

The three of them are so in-sync that it's scary, going through the motions only seconds behind each other and it's a single moment when all their meters are you know, thinking or processing or whatever it is that they all huddle even closer together, heads bowed and Mike steps forward to stick his head in as well and Jaime grabs his arm, shakes his head and Mike frowns, but doesn't protest.

Results come back in a flurry of beeps and then Tony is digging through Vic's backpack and returning with little packets of iced animal crackers, one of which he wedges into his pocket before he holds them out to Alex and Vic respectively, though Vic shakes his head and then points a stern finger at Mike before he can say anything.

Alex takes a packet, and then Tony holds one out to him,

“You want some? They're really good” He says and Jack doesn't know what's come over him, whether it's jealously or just being out of sorts over his shittyness at soccer or still not adjusted to all these new people, all he had to do was politely decline but no.

“Do I look like I need one” are the sharp words that come out of his mouth instead and the bewildered look Alex sends his way makes him feel so bad but Jack's got no idea how to explain it.

Alex doesn't ask and Tony just shrugs and soon enough they're all packed up again (And Jack does not, does not point out the test strip of Vic's that flutters gracefully onto the grass, he doesn't) and they break up into little couply pairs, Alex falling into step with him as in front of them, Vic and Jaime argue over who gets to hold the program they're trying to look at.

“Okay, so” Alex says, unfolding their very own program. “The deal is that in order to go to Disneyworld tomorrow we have to do like, three little seminar type things”

Jack was not aware of their being requirements for their presence at Disneyworld.

“How come?” He asks, confused.

“So the people who take us don't think we'll die on them” Tony chimes in from behind them, before he wedges a blue elephant into his mouth.

“So that the chaperones are sure we all know how to take care of ourselves so that nothing terrible happens and angry parents can't sue them” Alex says a little more diplomatically.

“Basically it's a couple of hours where they shove a bunch of teenagers into a room and yeah, remind us how not to die”

Jack is all for not dying.


	110. Chapter 110

By the time they're walking into the little seminar room for their final 'class' of the day Jack's come to a disturbing realisation and it distracts him from everything else he's feeling for a moment.

“You're all the same!” He says in exasperation, throwing himself into his chair, waits for someone to ask him what he's going on about.

“I am a beautiful independent woman” Alex says, “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Test strips, they're everywhere, fucking everywhere” Jack can see like five just from where he's sitting, no two the same.

“I though it was just you being a lazy ass but I swear this whole building is full of them”

The last thing he's expecting is for everyone in the entire room to fall silent and then burst into laughter.

Like the previous two, this seminar quickly disintegrates into 'new' kids at the front and everyone who's been type one for a while at the back, swapping stories and trying not to be too obnoxious.

Jack's ever increasing little green monster is not helped at all by the fact that Vic, Mike, Tony and Jaime aren't even the only people Alex knows. He knows practically everyone, from the chaperones themselves to kids younger than them and cute girls that are older and just, fucking everyone. Jack doesn't understand because the Alex he knows is anxious, hesitant and it's something Jack's had to work damn hard at to get past to the real Alex and Alex is just so normal and confident with everyone here. He doesn't understand at all.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Soon enough they're done for the day, (And have earned their tickets to motherfucking Disneyworld) heading in their little group back to the foyer where all the infinitely magical breakfast food has been replaced by an equally delicious lunch. Jack's working on trying to compose himself.

But before he can follow behind Mike to the delicious looking slices of pizza (Although there's more vegetables than Jack would prefer) Alex tugs at his shirt, pulls him back a few steps.

“I gotta pee” Alex announces. “Come with”

It's a slightly odd request, seeing as they aren't teenage girls and therefore don't have some mythical compulsion to go to the bathroom together but Jack nods, follows behind Alex as they weave their way through the masses to the toilets.

Except that Alex keeps walking and Jack's about to protest until Alex veers sharply right and suddenly they're in a quiet little alcove, save for the people walking by a few feet away.

Fuck. Alex is probably mad. And hell, he has every right to be. Jack knows he'd be kind of mad if Alex was being the kind of asshole he himself is being today.

“Alex, I-” He starts, but Alex just points a finger at him and Jack shuts up.

Alex doesn't look mad at all. He looks sad, lips turned down and eyes round and Jack would absolutely prefer if his boyfriend was mad.

“You're upset” Alex says quietly, “One minute you're totally cool with everything and the next you're not and maybe you're jealous despite the fact that I swear to god we're just friends or maybe it's something i've done and if it is i'm sorry, i'm sorry okay but you don't, you don't get to fucking say things like you said at the park Jack, i'm not okay with that and the only reason everyone brushed it off is because they want to give you a chance for me”

Jack's heart sinks. He knows he's been like, a two-sided asshole today but hearing Alex say it makes it much more real and the knowledge that the way he'd snapped at Tony before hadn't gone unnoticed like he'd hoped it had just makes it even worse.

Alex's friends have every right to hate him, he's sure. And it's only been what, half a day?

Jack can't find a single to thing to say, just stares at his feet and follows the pattern of the scuffed carpet beneath them.

Alex sighs. “Please talk to me”

Jack swallows around the lump in his throat. Of course he has to apologise. Hell, he should probably get on his knees to do it. He just doesn't know what to say.

“I'm sorry,” He starts, “I don't know why I said what I did but I didn't mean it, I uh,” Fuck. If he knows anything it's that the truth is no doubt the best way to go here.

“I'm jealous, I know” He continues, “These guys, your friends, they're so nice and when you're with them you're different like you're happier, and more confident and then you know all these other people and I don't understand how all these people that you only see once a year seem to know you so much better than I do and I am really, really sorry about what I said and i'm sorry that I tried to make you think everything was fine instead of yelling you, and"

Jack takes a deep breath. “I'm sorry i've been a huge gaping asshole to you and everyone”

Alex regards him silently for moment, before he speaks.

“I don't want you to not like my friends” He says slowly, “But it's okay if you don't”

Jack opens his mouth, and Alex holds up a finger. Jack closes his mouth.

“No one knows me better than you, except for maybe Rian” Alex's eyes flick up to his and they share a tiny smile between them. Of course no one knows Alex like Rian.

“I know a lot of people because we've all been coming here for years, we already have something pretty big in common to talk about and just, they're my people, you know?”

“I love you” Alex continues, “And if you don't want to spend every single moment with the guys then we don't have to”

That's the worst part of this really. Not that he's been a dick, not that he's upset Alex, but the fact that despite both of those things Alex is willing to spend less time with his friends just to make him happy.

“I love you too” Jack says, holding out his arms in invitation and Alex doesn't hesitate as he steps into them, arms wrapping around his middle tightly and Jack kisses his boyfriends temple.

“I don't not like your friends, they're just,” Jack pauses, tries to think of the right word.

“Intense?” Alex offers, and Jack sort of nods into their hug.

“There's a lot of them, and they're all tall dark and handsome”

Alex snickers against his chest.

“I want to hang out with them for every moment that you want to and I want you to cuddle them and love them as much as you want and I am absolutely going to apologise for being a jerk” Jack announces, voice perhaps getting a little loud as he gains intensity.

Alex pulls away, holds him at arms length and stares at him before he smiles softly.

“I really actually do have to pee”.

And that's that then Jack supposes, as he follows Alex into the bathrooms because hell, he could stand to go as well.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The first important thing Jack has to do (After he's gotten his pizza) is to obviously, apologise.

Alex has disappeared to the salad division (So, so much salad it's disgusting) so he makes his way over to the table where Mike is making dramatic hand gestures and everyone's laughing.

It gets noticeably quiet as he approaches and Jack internally winces, because now that he knows that they know he's an asshole it's awful. He feels really, really bad.

“Hi” He says weakly, and Jaime pats the empty space beside him.

Jack sits.

“Hi” He says again. “I'm sorry i've been a galaxy sized asshole”

“A deathstar sized asshole” Mike mutters darkly, Tony promptly elbowing him in the ribs.

These guys are apparently very, very good at pretending they're not mad when they are. The fact that they'd be willing to do that for Alex says a lot.

Jaime stays quiet, methodically chewing his pasta. Vic just stares at him and it's Vic that Jack is most well, afraid of.

He seems to hold the balance of power, whether it's because he's the oldest or closest with Alex, Jack doesn't know. But everyone seems to be watching Vic, waiting for his response.

“Jack,” Vic says eventually. “It's nice to meet you, i'm Vic and this my brother Mike, his boyfriend Tony and my beloved Jaime.”


	111. Chapter 111

Of course Jack's apology, everyones acceptance of his apology and their new, shiny clean slate doesn't magically make his jealousy go away.

But things are different now, like instead of wanting to strangle Vic every time he strays from Jaime's side to sling an arm around Alex, Jack watches, sees how happy they are and how innocent it is. It's like Vic is a shorter, cuter, possibly more dangerous Rian.

Not that Rian isn't cute, just. Vic's so sweet and little.

He knows all of them, including Alex, are keeping an eye on him.

After lunch Jack finds himself with Alex, Vic and Jaime. Mike and Tony having disappeared to go and check in with Tony's parents, who apparently must be insane because Jack knows the parents Gaskarth have enough trouble with just him and Alex and he can't imagine taking four teenage boys anywhere, knows how much trouble they can get into.

They don't really have plans for the rest of the day, just start wandering around looking at all the various stalls trying to sign people up for trials or sell them things and honestly, Jack's not that interested. As long as Alex has all the stuff he needs, Jack's happy.

But Alex and Vic are interested so Jack finds himself immersed in well, stuff.

The home-made little fleecy cases for pumps and meters are actually really soft and pretty cute.

The four of them acquire more than enough samples to live off for the rest of their trip, from exciting new flavours of glucose tabs (Alex actually spots the stand from a mile off and makes a little excited sound that's the most adorable thing) to pretty much sugar-free anything you can imagine.

After being down what Jack decides to call 'snack-alley' they end up in a sort of display area, which is crammed with both people and shiny new technology.

Seriously, it's all shiny. Metallic must be in this year. There's pumps and pens and meters and things that Jack's never seen or heard of before and plenty of important looking people in important looking clothes chatting with people about them, taking them out of their neat little display cases.

He gets distracted by what appears to be a combination of meter and video game (Motherfucking awesome, that's what that is) and by the time he looks up he's alone, a searching gaze locating Alex and Vic approximately three rows over, Vic with his hoodie and shirt tugged up just above a hip as he pretends to model a pump, walking down an imaginary catwalk and swinging his hips.

Even from where he's standing, it looks too large for Vic's lithe frame.

“Yo yo” Says a deep voice behind him and Jack jumps only about twelve feet in the air, causing Jaime to double over in laughter.

“Got ya” He says with a grin and Jack grins back, giving Jaime a half-hearted shove.

“You're awful” He says and Jaime just continues to grin, walking away and beckoning Jack to follow him.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Half an hour later, weighed down with the multitude of things they've acquired – Vic buying himself and Jaime matching little woven ID bracelets in the colours of the Mexican flag, promptly keeping the untagged one for himself and making Jaime wear the actual engraved one (Potentially not as helpful as they're supposed be, but Jack personally thinks it's sweet) Alex getting himself an adorable notebook with kittens on it and both him and Vic buying a million and one packs of what Jack's calling glorified packing tape, except in pretty colours and prints.

All four of them buy packets of the worlds most excellent brownies, Alex giving him a wink and mumbling something about a late night snack.

Mike and Tony are yet to reappear so they decide to head outside, bask in the sun for a bit.

On the way to the front doors they pass an area obviously set up for children.

“Dudes!” Jaime says excitedly, “Let's colour!”

“No” Vic says immediately. “Absolutely not”

Jaime looks pleadingly at them. “C'mon, Jack, Alex? Alex?”

Alex makes a show of pretending to think. “It is tradition” He says slowly, and Vic lets out a groan.

They all squeeze into four tiny chairs surrounding a tiny table, reaching for sheets of paper because yup, they're really going to colour, Jack catching the eye of a lady who appears to be supervising the area and she just smiles at him and fuck, everyone here is just really, really nice.

There's a huge amount of options for colouring. Gel pens, sharpies, pencils, crayons and even more options for what you can colour, everything from trucks to princesses to ponies. Everything.

Jack goes with a ballerina, Alex with dinosaurs, Vic with a train and Jaime the princess tea party.

All of them have chosen crayons.

Mostly they're quiet, focused intently on their artworks (Jack is so making his mom put it on the fridge) so none of them notice the new addition to their table until a pink crayon disappears from under Jack's nose and he looks up, surprised to find a tiny little human with a chubby fist wrapped around it.

He stares at her. Why is there a little girl at their table? How did she stealth her way there?

“Hi, i'm Amy!” She chirps and everyone else looks up, clearly just as surprised as Jack is. She's got a green band wrapped around her tiny little wrist three times over just so it'll fit and Jack frowns because she can't be that old, maybe five or six at most and fuck, she's just a little fucking kid.

“I'm Alex” Alex says easily, reaching out a hand to shake hers, “And these are my friends Jack, Vic and Jaime”

“Hi-meeeee” She drawls, “Is that a weal name cause it sounds funny”

Vic snorts.

“It is a real name” Jaime says steadily, “I promise”

“Okay”

She goes quiet for a moment, just staring at all of them with her big blue eyes and really, Jack's sure her parents should you know, be keeping an eye on her. She's clearly a tiny bucket of trouble.

She reaches out for Alex's hand again and he obliges, her tiny fingers poking at his wristband.

“You have diabeedles too like me” She announces in a serious voice and Alex nods attentively.

“I do” He says and then then she's pulling away, standing up on her chair.

“I have stiwkers!” She announces loudly, tugging up her polka-dotted t-shirt to expose a stomach covered in glittery animal stickers and there's a pump site as well and shit, it seems so tiny on Alex but on this girl, this little fucking girl it's huge. The mere idea of it makes Jack hurt.

“Those are very cool stickers” Alex says, “But you should sit down so you don't fall”

Because Alex is apparently a child-whisperer their guest actually does as asked, sitting back down on her chair and pulling a fistful of crumpled stickers from her skirt pockets.

“Do you want a stwicker Alex? I have lots and lots!”

Jack so, so wants to take as many pictures as possible of this moment.

“Yes please”

Alex holds out his hand, but their little friend shakes her head.

“Stwickers are just for here momma said” She announces, pulling her shirt up once more and patting her stomach.

Jaime makes a very undignified noise of laughter into his hand. Jack slides his phone out of his pocket, in the hopes that Alex won't notice if he videos this whole thing.

Alex shifts back in his tiny little chair, tugs his shirt up as well.

“We match!” Amy says brightly, unsticking a cat and a giraffe from her pile of stickers and carefully patting them against Alex's skin, around his site.

It's quiet possibly the most adorably adorable thing that's ever happened in the history of Jack's entire life.

“Thank you very much” Alex says, pulling his clothes back down.

Jack figures they'll go back to colouring then, that their pint sized gate crasher might wander away but nope, they've got themselves a persistent one.

“Hi-meeeeeeeee your wide” She says brightly, and this time it's Jack who makes a stupid noise.

Jaime just looks confused.

“What?” He says, clearly baffled.

“You don't have diabeedles” Amy elaborates, pointing at Jaime's wrist and oh, wide. White.

“That's right” Jaime says, “Can I still have a sticker?” He says hopefully.

“No” Amy says bluntly and Alex actually has to turn away he's laughing so hard.

Jaime pouts.

Vic holds out his hand, “I have diabetes too” He says easily, “And Jaime is my best friend so can I share my stickers with him?”

Amy looks confused, and Jack wonders just how much she understands. He's got no idea how old kids have to get before they know how to do stuff like walk and talk and not pee themselves.

“Does Hi-meeeeee bring you juice like my momma does?”

Vic kicks Alex under the table in an attempt to get him to stop laughing.

“Jaime brings me lots of juice” He says, “He's a very good friend”

Amy seems to consider this for a moment, before she shrugs and affixes them again with a bright grin.

“Sharing is okay” She says solemnly, reaching for her stickers once more.

“I bring Alex juice because he's my friend too” Jack throws in, because he doesn't want to be the only one without a cool sticker.


	112. Chapter 112

That evening, (Jack had indeed scored a sticker) just before they're scheduled to go out for a fancy dinner with the parents Gaskarth and Tony's parents and everyone's parents friends that Jack is yet to meet and after their epic failure at table tennis, all of them gather in his and Alex's room. 

Everyone ends up sprawling their lengthy limbs (Well, bar Vic) across the bed in a dogpile and Alex retrieves his meter from Jack's bag and then Tony and Vic seem to just automatically follow suit and from his position at the the head of the bed Jaime grins broadly.

“Five bucks on Vic” He announces, and Mike bends up from where he's hanging half off the bed, Tony sort of resting across his feet. He looks serious.

“You know where my allegiances lie” Mike says and Vic leans over and pinches an exposed strip of his brothers stomach.

“How could you” He says dramatically. Jack's got no fucking idea what's going on here. He looks pleadingly at Alex, who laughs.

“We sort of do this thing where we bet on who's numbers are gonna be closest to the generalised standard of perfect”

What the fuck even. Seriously. Gambling on blood sugars is the most insane thing Jack has ever heard except for the fact that he is totally, totally in.

“I don't know if I trust you to come through” He says to Alex, who pouts at him.

“Barakat if you bet against me bad things will happen”

There's a slightly sultry tone to Alex's voice and that's enough for Jack re-evaluate his idea to bet on Tony. Sex with Alex is going to be worth more than winning a few dollars.

“Fine” He says, “I suppose i'll go with you”

Alex flips him off and then the three relevant parties crawl across each other and everyone else to form a cross-legged group in the middle of the middle of the bed and this time Mike, Jaime and Jack himself are permitted to be in the inner circle as test strips are inserted and blood is drawn.

Jack still thinks that maybe Tony would be the best financial decision here.

Its almost tense while they wait, six heads bowed and then the results start to appear and he occurs to Jack that he doesn't actually know what the standard they're going by is, what's normal for Alex might not be applicable to this game.

It's easily settled however, because after a quick comparison between them Tony lets out a victorious shriek.

“Pay up bitches”

Well fuck.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The guys head back to their room to get dressed and it's weird how quiet it is now that it's just him, Alex and their gorgeous room. The suns just set and the lights of Disneyworld and the city beyond are sparking against the orange sky. Jack's gonna hopefully remember that line to use in English class sometime.

He admires Alex's back dimples as his boyfriend struggles into his glittery skinny jeans, buttons up the soft lavender shirt Jack remembers Isobel saying at least one hundred times not to crush.

It's a little crushed.

But that's okay, because Jack's own green button up is far more crushed.

In the bathroom as they both try to style their hair, Alex bumps his hip into Jack's own.

“I guess i'll have to repay you somehow for that five bucks you lost, huh?” Alex whispers, hair-spraying his fringe.

Jack does not shiver. He doesn't.

“I guess so” He replies, tries to keep the waver out of his voice. He'd like nothing more than to cancel their dinner plans and drag Alex into bed with him.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They meet up with the guys to walk down to the in-hotel restaurant and meet up with the parents.

Vic looks particularly nice in his suit jacket, as does Jaime. And Mike and Tony look all tattooed and bad-ass in their respective vest and denim jackets.

Things get progressively more adorable as everyone greets the parents Gaskarth, Jaime pulling Isobel into an enthusiastic bear hug to which she responds with slightly crushed decorum.

Jack finds himself shaking hands with lots of nicely dressed adults, some of them still bearing their green wristbands and it's weird to think one day Alex is going to be a grown up human, that one day Jack himself is going to be a grown up human.

He's praying he can get a cool job. Maybe something where you get to carry a briefcase but not actually have to do any work.

Alex's parents have split off to chat, Alex having been dragged with them, (Jack saw one of the older women ruffle Alex's hair so there's no way he's going to chance going over) Vic and Mike chatting to a girl with bright pink hair so it's just him and Jaime until Tony appears, his parents in tow.

“Jack” Jaime says suavely, “This is the especially gorgeous Mama Perry, and the equally gorgeous Henry”

Henry, a balding man in a pinstripe suit, smiles in a way that says he's well used (And immune to) Jaime's charms as he holds out his hand and Jack shakes it. San Diego must be the handshake capital of the whole damn world.

And Tony's mom, well, Jack loves her immediately. She's like if his mom and Alex's mom had a weird Mexican love child, (It's fucked up, he knows) all warm and bright and cuddly, leaning into Jaime's bear hug like it's a normal, everyday occurrence and she gives a pretty good bear hug of her own.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

During dinner for some inexplicable reason, Jack finds himself with Alex on one side, Vic on the other and even though they're side by side he can practically feel the older boys eyes burning into his skin.

The food is awesome though and the way Alex wiggles his chair as close as possible so they can rest their knees together makes Vic more of an afterthought. A scary afterthought, but an afterthought all the same.

It's still weird to see so many people doing Alex stuff. The restaurant is full and over the chorus of excited chatter there's an assortment of beeps and bloops and yes, a test strip on the floor.

Across the table, Tony between his mom and Mike, the three of them with heads bend over his pump. It's sweet.

Next to Vic of course, is Jaime. Who, while they're waiting for their dessert, has been building a coaster tower with an almost scary intensity.

Out of all of them, it's only Henry and Vic who decline dessert.

Mike and Tony share a heavenly looking cheesecake, Alex has his chocolate cake, Jack's chosen a very adult dessert of jelly and ice cream and Jaime has a bowlful of chocolate mousse.

Eventually, Jaime wheedles Vic into a single spoonful of mouse and Jack's not sure what their deal is. If Alex says no to something, Jack doesn't ask again. But then, Jack's reasonably sure that if Vic didn't really want his boyfriend trying to cover him in dessert it wouldn't be happening.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“As the person with all the tech I get to pick what movie” Mike says seriously, setting his laptop up next to the TV in their hotel room – the four of them are sharing a single room, with two double beds that they've pushed together so all of six of them can fit to watch a movie before bed. It's become very apparent that tonight at least, Jack won't be getting any special Alex alone time.

If they just decide on a movie.

“No horror” Jaime says as he unashamedly changes into his pyjamas in the middle of the room, revealing his ninja turtles boxer shorts.

“No Disney princesses” Tony adds, “And no sports or natural disasters”

“I'm the oldest” Vic contributes, “So I think we should be a democracy and vote on it”

Mike bares his teeth before he sticks his head behind the TV. “Fuck you and your democracy”

Alex laughs from where he's got a warm arm around Jack's shoulders on the bit of bed they've claimed from themselves.

Before Vic can voice the protest he's clearly going wanting to Mike turns around and grins mischievously at them as the the blue video screen on the TV disappears and it seems he's made an executive decision for them. Not a democracy at all.

“If this is Aristocats Mike you know i'll kill you” Vic says as Jaime grabs him and drags him towards the bed and away from his brother.

Mike just curls himself protectively around his laptop. “You'll see”

They're watching Frozen. Because apparently it's 'relevant' to their you know, being at Disneyworld and all that and despite Tony's protests about princess movies he's tucked against Mike and is staring intently at the screen. Even Vic hadn't complained all that much, just mumbling something about his brother being a princess before once again he'd put himself next to to Jack, pointedly wrapping himself around Jaime, who rests a broad palm on Vic's tiny curl tousled head.

Jack doesn't get it. Surely if Vic had a problem, he'd be trying to sit between him and Alex. But Vic's radiating lot of warmth in their sandwiched position, so he’s not going to complain as he rests his head on Alex's chest and tries not to get involved in an argument about whether or not it's socially acceptable to rewind a movie on their first watch to listen to a song again.


	113. Chapter 113

Jack wakes the next morning with cramps in his legs and an urge to stab the person responsible for the the hideous incoherent screaming that might be music as their alarm.

However, given that his two closest options are Vic and Alex Jack just elects to let out a long, protesting whine into Alex's neck.

He's not the only one though, somewhere past Alex a groan echoes Jack's own and Mike sits up, hair sprawled every which way as he rubs at his eyes.

“That's Vic” Mike grumbles and Jack rolls over enough to look at the boy beside him, still sleeping peacefully.

“Vic” Mike says a little louder and Jaime doesn't even open his eyes as he starts patting down Vic's body, obviously searching for the source of the awful way too early noise.

Mike pulls the pillow from behind his head, leans over and thumps it solidly down on Vic's head. He doesn't even react.

“Little fucker sleeps like the dead” Mike says, taking his pillow back.

“I got it” Jaime says, still half-asleep as he successfully tugs Vic's phone from his jeans pocket because apparently Jaime was the only one of them smart enough to wear appropriate sleepwear.

Finally, the noise stops and all of them sigh in relief.

“It's almost seven” Jaime informs them and jesus, that's even earlier than Jack had thought.

“Fuck that” Alex says from beside him.

“Go the fuck back to sleep” Tony voice demands from the far side of the bed, a single arm raising itself from the blankets to tug at Mike's shoulder.

“Cuddle me”

Mike looks torn and Jaime makes a weird wavy hand gesture.

“You sure?” Mike says in response, and Jaime flips him off.

“You say that like I don't do this ninety percent of the time anyway” Jaime says indignantly and Tony lets out an irritated growl.

“If you're not going to shut up, get the fuck out”

“Tony isn't a morning person” Alex whispers, and all of them stifle their laughter.

Mike settles back down with Tony and Jack wonders if he can go back to sleep because it is early and he's so nice and warm but nope, he's up and awake because Disneyworld is right outside.

Alex however isn't sharing his excitement because he's rolled over and tucked his head under the covers, clearing intending to go back to sleep.

Vic seems to still be out cold, so it's just Jaime that's left awake with him. The other boy yawns loudly, stretches his arms above his head. Jack didn't really pick Jaime as a morning person.

But Jack doesn't think anyone should be a morning person.

Jaime slips out of bed, giving Jack a wink as he carefully pulls the blankets back around Vic (Jack is so not that nice it's awful) before he disappears into the bathroom.

Jack stares as the crisp white ceiling. Disneyworld. Right outside.

Jaime returns, pulls Vic's case from somewhere along with a bottle of water and clambers back into bed, the sound of the bottle opening and closing almost too loud in the once again quiet room.

Carefully, Jaime extricates one of Vic's hands from it's grip on the blankets and the smaller boy seems to almost wake, eyes scrunching up as he tries to tug his hand out of Jaime's.

“C'mon monkey” Jaime whisper-wheedles, “Wake up”

“Nnng” Is the response, but Vic's hand goes slack and he stretches out along the bed.

“Whasstimes't?”

“Nearly seven, your alarm went off like five minutes ago”

Vic cracks an eye open and shifts his head a little, stares at Jack.

“Morning?” Jack tries, no use in pretending he's not totally awake and watching.

“Morning” Vic replies slowly, free hand coming up to cover his mouth as he yawns and despite the fact that Vic might actually possess the ability to kill him with a single glance he looks the picture of innocence right now, a few strands of hair covering the side of his face and eyes still heavy with sleep.

The sound of a zipper interrupts their weird half-asleep staring match and Vic's brain seems to catch up.

Jack's not expecting Vic to get up or anything but neither is he expecting Vic to accept his stuff from Jaime without breaking his gaze with him (But somehow also managing to have a wordless conversation with Jaime) eyes barely flicking down to see what he's doing and if it's supposed to be some kind of intimidation tactic it's really not working.

Even so, he keeps staring back at Vic, determined not to back down.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

By the time they've woken up again, (Tony in much more chipper mood) gotten dressed and headed downstairs for breakfast Jack is well and truly hysterically excited.

Everyone else is pretty happy yeah, but Jack's not sure anyone is quite as excited as him.

He can't stop bouncing up and down in the line for waffles.

“I'm going to Disneyworld, Disneyworld is right out there and i'm going to it Disneyworld!”

“You're gonna need one of those leashes for kids” Vic says brightly as he rifles through his backpack.

“That's an awesome idea” Alex says, pressing his hands down on Jack's shoulders. “Do you think you can like, rent them from the front desk?”

“You can't keep me down” Jack complains, trying to get his feet to stay put.

Alex kisses his cheek. “You can bounce all you want, just please stop with the singing at least until after breakfast”

Jack figures that's a fair trade. Alex's hands disappear and he hops excitedly from one foot to the other.

Once again, Alex makes horrible breakfast choices. Another muffin. Yoghurt. Disgusting mush. Thankfully Jaime stands up for practical breakfasts everywhere and joins Jack in his maple syrup bacon waffle pile. Jaime is awesome.

It's difficult to bounce and eat so Jack goes for the latter. Everyone seems to be eating at a glacial pace except for Vic, who's eaten a single piece of toast and is now playing something on his phone judging by the cutesy electronic music and the look of concentration on his face.

“You're not gonna eat anything else?” Mike asks, mouth full of spaghetti and Vic doesn't look away from his phone, just makes a shrugging nod and Mike swallows.

“You do remember we're going out for the whole day” He says and Vic just makes an irritated huff and pauses his game, looks up.

“I had no idea” He says in monotone, “Where are we going again?”

“Disneyworld!” Jack can't help but blurt, even though he knows that Vic is quite obviously trying to win a prize for sarcasm.

Vic cracks a smile, goes back to his game.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Their first stop after breakfast is back upstairs, all of them receiving 'reminders' from their relevant adults on being nice, well behaved humans, as well as mandatory bag checks because you know, the three different meters Alex apparently has might not be enough.

“Don't forget to have fun!” Mama Perry calls after them after they all squish into the elevator, dashing inside to hand Tony yet another tube of glucose tabs, which after the doors close, Mike takes from his boyfriend and stashes into one of the many pockets of his cargo shorts.

All four of Alex's friends are so ridiculously in love it's almost sickening.

Back downstairs they join all the other kids outside the hotel waiting for their magical carriage ride to Disneyworld. (Or rented shuttle bus, but Jack likes the sound of the first one)

They're so close he can practically taste the magic.

As they stand in their little group (It's never not going to be somewhat amusing that all of them are like giants compared to Vic, but Jack's not stupid enough to actually mention it), it's clear that tiny as he is, Vic is the unquestioned leader.

“Does everyone have everything and then backups for their everything?”

“Presumably” Tony says, and Alex just shrugs.

“I'm sure whatever one of us doesn't have someone else has like, seven of” Alex says, and Jack grins because it has to be true.

A cheer sounds over whatever Vic goes on to say and Jack turns around to find their glorious chariot has arrived.


	114. Chapter 114

The little bus is packed so Alex ends up on Jack's lap, so Jack tries to both hold onto his boyfriends bony hips and get as much of his face out the window as humanly possible because he doesn't want to miss a single moment of their Disneyworld journey.

The castle looms up ahead and Jack can see the loops and waves of what he's sure are the most amazing rollercoasters ever and the morning sun is shining and there's a breeze and everything is not cold and the all the plants are green and a few precious blocks away from the entrance to the parking lot they get caught in gridlock traffic. The universe hates him.

“Noooo” Jack wails, and Alex spins around to kiss his head.

“Patience young padawan” He says between kisses but Jack has been waiting his entire life he can't wait anymore. He whines again, louder for dramatic effect.

“Give it like, five minutes” Mike says, “Traffic's not too bad”

Considering they've moved less than a block in the last ten minutes Jack's positive Mike is an idiot.

However, as Jack continues to stare in desperation out the window it would appear that Mike is actually right. Despite the hideous amount of traffic, most of it seems to have started moving. Which means they're moving.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It takes every fibre of Jack's being not to push past their chaperones and the younger kids at the front to be the first out of the bus and onto the sacred ground of Disneyworld, parking lot B.

“Disneyworld Disneyworld Disneyworld” He whisper chants as they get out of their seats into the aisle, Jaime joining in with him, the two of them getting and faster and faster until finally they're down the steps and onto the tarmac.

“Disneyworld!” Jaime yells, offering Jack a hi-five which Jack takes a little too enthusiastically because both him and Jaime end up clutching their hands due to the sting.

“You're idiots” Mike says, hands on Vic's shoulders as he frog marches him forward into the line their chaperones have started to create, a long trail of children with backpacks making their way towards the magical gates of magic.

Jack's pretty sure his mouth drops open as they step through the huge entrance way to the park, not having to line up in the ticket lines because they're a group, merely passing straight through until they're in a little cordoned off area that makes Jack feel important. Disneyworld famous.

“Alright, listen up y'all” Comes a voice from the front of their group, their leader, a ginger-bearded man named Jeff who has the most awesome accent. Jack kind of swoons every time he says y'all.

“In a minute, we're going to turn you loose” Jeff starts and a few excited shrieks from the girls at the front interrupt him but the man merely grins and waits until they're done. (Seriously there has got to be something in the water that makes people here so nice)

“But first there are some very important rules” Jeff continues, “Because we're gonna have an awesome time, but we're gonna do it safely”

Jack tries to look like he's paying attention when he's really looking behind their chaperones heads and into the park beyond. He's so, so close.

“The first rule is to always stay with your buddy or someone else in your group, no wandering off alone”

Alex grabs his hand and squeezes. “Buddies” He whispers with a grin, and Jack squeezes back.

“The second rule is that while you're exploring the second most magical place on earth you all need to remember to stop and check your blood sugar, and deal with the results as necessary. We're not going to be following everyone around to make sure, that's what your group is for. For some of you, no doubt you'll be getting reminders from your parents, for others, this means being accountable for yourselves and your friends.”

“How does he remember the exact same words every year” Jaime whispers loudly and Tony shushes him.

“The third rule, Mr Preciado,” Jaime looks sheepish. “Is that if you're unsure about anything, if anything happens, myself and the other chaperones are only a phone call away and we'll be wandering around the park doing important adult activities if you need us”

At this point, one of the other chaperones, a brunette lady Jack's unable to name reappears with a stack of plastic bags in her hands.

“As always we've got magical show bags for each group, which consist of all the phone numbers you could possibly ever need, fast passes for all the really fun stuff, assistance passes if you need them as well as a map of the park and a copy of the nutritional guides for every single restaurant in the park which means several trees died for you so please use them”

Jack likes how chill Jeff seems to be with the whole thing.

“Alright, now we're going to come around and make sure we've got everyone and then you'll be free to go, remember to be back here at four thirty or we'll be leaving without you”

Everyone sort of splits into their little groups then, chattering excitedly and Jack goes back to bouncing.

Jeff appears in front of them soon enough, clipboard and bags in hand.

“Alright” He says solemnly. “Perry, Gaskarth, Fuentes, Fuentes, Preciado and” He looks up, eyes of all of them before they land on Jack. “You must be Barakat”

“The one and only” Jack says, trying to curb his bouncing and smiling politely.

“He sounds like trouble” Jeff cheerfully says to Alex, “What did you do to Dawson?”

“Killed him and ate his parents ” Alex says brightly, cuddling Jack close to him with grin. “I promise i'll keep Jack here out of trouble”

Jeff laughs and scribbles something on his clipboard before he look up at them again

“That's exactly what i'm worried about” He says, untangling a bag from his fingers.

“Group leader?”

“That'd be me” Vic says, taking the bag and stashing it in his backpack.

“Any questions?”

“No!” The six of them chorus in unison and Jeff just raises a blossoming ginger eyebrow.

“Right then, out of my sight the lot of you”

At that, Jack absolutely cannot be patient any longer.

“Disneyworld!” He yells, throwing his arms in the air and taking off at run, ignoring the calls for him to wait he can't okay it's Disneyworld and he's inside of it's beautiful, magical body.

He needs to touch everything, see everything, do everything and as he darts around families and groups of kids something glints in the corner of his eye and before he knows it Jack finds himself wrapped around a bronzed Mickey Mouse statue in a not entirely innocent way.

“Jack you idiot” Comes Alex's voice and sure enough Jack spots him and everyone else making their way towards him, albeit at a much slower pace.

“I found Mickey!” Jack says happily, clinging tightly to the statue.

Jaime holds up his phone and Alex grins.

“I wanna be in the picture too”

It's their first of many Disneyworld activities, a picture of him and Alex erotically holding Mickey Mouse. Fucking brilliant.

As they cycle through all three couples so everyone can have a picture and then Mike dragging Vic into a brotherly cuddle for their own picture they can send to their mom to prove they're not dead, Jack just wants to drag Alex away and kiss him senseless.

But Alex will just have to wait because the entirely of Disneyworld is before them.

“So,” Vic says as they come to a stop only a few precious feet away from Mickey Mouse. “Who wants to do what?”

“I want to do everything” Jack announces, frustrated that they've stopped again. Why do they need a plan it's Disneyworld they can just go can't they?

“I second that” Mike says, and Vic sighs.

“And as lovely as doing everything is, we have to start somewhere”

“Gimme the map” Tony says and Vic begrudgingly digs through his bag and hands it over.

“Okay, so” Tony unfolds the map, which is fucking huge.

“Why don't we start in Frontierland and work our way around?”

Everyone sort of mumbles their agreement and Jack shouts his from the rooftops.

“Let's go!” He urges, grabbing the straps of Alex's backpack in one hand and Tony's in the other, bodily dragging them along behind him, they're going and they're going right now.


	115. Chapter 115

Disneyworld is fucking awesome.

Everything's so bright and colourful and there's music and happy children and an unidentified princess totally just casually walked past. Jack is in awe of the gorgeous buildings and arches of rides he can see in the distance and did he mention the sun is warm and all the grass and trees he can see are a bright, leafy green?

So green.

He's let go of Tony but keeps Alex's arm linked with his as he bounces along, getting distracted by pretty much everything that comes into his line of vision.

“You're adorable” Alex says, as Jack drags him to a stand selling customised Disney keychains.

“But trust me you want to save your money for the exciting stuff later”

Jack is hard pressed to ignore to the call of a keychain with his name on it but he figures Alex is right, at least for now.

As they walk through the park, following gaily coloured concrete and huge decorative signposts the scenery changes from a sort of normal looking street to well, kind of old.

“This 'ere 'd be Frontierland” Jaime says in a horrible imitation of a western drawl.

“God, that's awful” Vic sniggers, trying on an accent of his own.

“Y'all are awful” Alex throws in, accent so perfect Jack's not sure if he wants to kiss him or kick him.

“Let’s go kick some cowboy ass” Mike says and Jack gives up his position as group leader and follows behind Mike through a particularly crowded group of people before they pop out in front of a...shooting range of some sort?

Hell fucking yes.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hell fucking no would probably be more appropriate. Jack is a terrible, terrible shot. Terrible.

He can't be sure but he thinks even one of the supervisory Disney people was laughing at him.

It's okay though, because he'd handed his gun over to Mike who has absolutely bad ass aim and hits pretty much everything dead on. It's a little unnerving actually, but Jack's over active imagination is quickly quashed when Mike hands over his shiny plastic 'sheriff' badge to Tony, carefully pinning it to his shirt like the adorable couple they are.

The minute they step back onto the street, Jack grabs hold of Alex again.

“Where are we going next, huh?”

“We're going to be spontaneous for most of this” Mike says.

“My middle name is spontaneous!” Jaime throws in, and Vic swats at him.

Spontaneous. Jack can totally do that.

They keep walking, Alex pointing things out to him like the huge pirate ships across the way a little and then, then Jack sees it.

“Aladdin!” He shrieks, breaking away from Alex and bolting across the parkway, coming to skidding stop against a bright purple fence, stares up the beauty that lies before him.

Aladdin’s Magic Carpets.

“I fucking love Aladdin” Jack says to no one.

Footsteps thud behind him and Alex appears to his left.

“Dude, Aladdin we have to go and get a purple carpet please please please”

“Well” Alex says slowly, “We might have to you know, actually get in line”

Alex points to the line, where Vic, Tony, Jaime and Mike already are. Whoops.

Soon enough, Jack's helping Alex (Because he is a polite and courteous boyfriend) into their very own purple carpet, Vic and Jaime on a green one in front of them and Mike and Tony on an orange one behind.

It's a slow ride, high enough to provide a perfect view and Jack slides an arm around Alex's waist, pulls him in for a chaste kiss.

Alex blushes, giggles and then finally kisses back, one of his hands finding Jack's other one and intertwining their fingers as they circle slowly around.

He kisses Alex a few more times, the two of them pressed as close together as they can get on their carpet and they've gone around twice more before Jack suddenly pulls away.

“Awwwwww” He says loudly and Alex looks at him like he's crazy.

“Look” Jack points ahead of them, to Vic and Jaime who have apparently had the same idea, heads together and Vic's arms wrapped around Jaime's neck as they kiss.

“You're such a sap” Alex says and yeah, that might be true but it's the first time Jack's seen Vic and Jaime do boyfriendy stuff, show each other affection. Vic might have a heart after all.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As they clamber off their carpet Jack sorely hopes that his lips aren't too red, won't make it too obvious that him and Alex's chaste kisses had continued for the rest of the ride. Still, it's not like Vic and Jaime weren't doing the exact same thing and presumably Tony and Mike though neither him nor Alex had turned around to look.

If anything, Jack now likes Aladdin even more.

Tony consults the map again.

“Do we wanna do Splash?” He asks and Alex makes a comically incredulous expression.

“How is that even a question, how could you even imply that not doing Splash is even up for negotiation?”

Splash Mountain is a ride Jack's heard of, in movies and from friends and on TV and now he's standing before it.

Or rather, the very, very long line that precedes it.

The very, very long line that they get to slip right past into only a medium sized line full of other people with fast passes. Jack would feel guilty for the all people they pass except that he's too excited to care.

As soon as he's is unbuckled from his Splash Mountain seat he wants to do it again.

“Again!” He demands, shaking his slightly damp fringe into Alex's face.

“That was fucking awesome” He continues and from behind him as the rest of their group gets out of their seats, Jaime's laughing and pointing at him.

“Jack man, you scream like a girl”

Nope. “I do not” Jack says indignantly, looking at Alex to back him up but his boyfriend just smiles benevolently and pats him on the back.

“You kind of do”

Traitors, the lot of them.

They do however, end up going again and Jack wishes he could say he didn't scream but he does (But not like a girl okay) the water running down his face as he shrieks with glee, hands clinging to the metal bar in front of him. He's buying one of everyone kind of souvenir for this ride there is.

As they reassemble on the ground, Tony once again retrieves the map from his pocket and makes what Jack presumes is his equivalent of the cute face Alex makes when he wants something.

“Can we do the railroad, please?”

Vic sighs dramatically. “Tony, it's not even a ride”

Tony changes his stare from Vic to Mike and it's Mike who then makes a face at Vic who sighs again and Tony gives Jaime a first-bump, clearly having won.

Jack's all for any kind of activity.

There's a fifteen minute wait for the train to return and they take the opportunity to snag a couple of benches at the station and all the relevant parties test and Jack watches a group of children walk past all giggling and happy with Toy Story balloons. He wants a balloon.


	116. Chapter 116

As far as train rides go Jack's pretty impressed. The seats are comfy, it's not ball-freezing like trains usually are and of course the view is fucking awesome. He had no idea Disneyworld was like, fifty percent water. He really hopes there's no alligators in there.

Tony is leaning dangerously far out of the carriage, kneeling on his seat and when Jack catches Mikes eye the boy just shrugs, keeps a hand curled around Tony's belt.

Maybe Tony has a weird train fetish.

The clackitty-clack of the train is almost soothing and when they follow behind an elderly couple to the station exit some half an hour later Jack feels more relaxed, less hysterically excited. His sense of chilled-outnees, combined with the warm Floridian sun is actually making him feel kind of sleepy.

But there's no time for sleeping at Disneyworld. (Unless maybe they installed really cool themed nap pods or something, Jack would be down with that)

They decide to wander for a while, poking their heads into a few more shops along the way, Alex once again warning him off things that he doesn't really think Jack needs but Jack is quite sure he needs a propeller hat okay.

He does however, put his shiny new hat purchase into Alex's bag. He wouldn't want to lose it.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After their magical train adventure the Haunted Mansion is next on their list and Alex hides his head in Jack's shoulder as they wait in line.

“You'll protect me, right?”

“Of course fair maiden” Jack says, kissing Alex's head and behind them, Jaime makes kissy noises.

Despite Alex's hesitation he spends most of the ride laughing hysterically as all of them do because who knew, who fucking knew that Mike was quite so jumpy, eyes so wide as he screams that it's beyond comical and Jack wishes he could record this and send it in to some video show because it would most surely win.

“Oh Tony i'm so scared, oh Tony hold me Tony hold me!” Jaime mocks, all of them quickly joining in except for Tony who's no doubt being bruised by the tight grip Mike seems to have on him.

“So Mike” Jack says casually as they exit their cars, “Who was it that screams like a girl?”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

None of them are all that enchanted by Rapunzel, but the park area surrounding her tower makes a good spot for them to crash for moment, sprawl out on the soft, cool grass and stare at the clouds, listen to the sounds of kids shrieking everywhere. A lttle bit of time for Mike to get himself together, for the rest of them to stop giggling.

“I am going to live here forever” Jack says, spreading out his limbs and making a grass angel.

“I'm hungry” Mike counters. “Let's go get food”

Vic snorts. “You're always hungry”

“And I keep telling you that tall people need more food than little guys like you”

Vic executes a very crafty kick to Mike's shin.

“Hey!” Mike pouts, rubbing at his leg with a wounded expression.

“And I keep telling you that I am average height you adopted fuck”

Alex snorts and Jaime sits up, wedges himself between Vic and Mike.

“I think morning tea would be awesome” He says, and Mike sticks his tongue at Vic.

“However,” Jaime continues, “It should also be noted that in many aspects Vic is definitely above average”

“No no nope you shut your mouth” Mike says, flailing his arms at Jaime's face, “I do not want to know"

Tony stands up, brushes the grass of his jeans.

“C'mon, food”

In less of an actual decision and more clueless wandering they end up eating all kinds of delicious things in a Sleepy Hollow themed cafe and Jack can't believe that Jaime has never had a macaron.

“I can't believe you've never had these before” Jack says, shoving an entire caramal macaron into his mouth.

“Jaime's not very classy” Vic says, cutting his strawberry macaron into equal quarters on his plate.

Jaime makes a wounded noise.

“I am the classiest person at this table, in this room even” He says, making a point of picking up his teacup with his little finger sticking out, the effect ruined because Jaime has ridiculously large hands and the cup is all small and pink and delicate.

“Mmmh” Alex says, mouth filled with his very own banana macaron.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They detour to spend a few brief moments in the hall of presidents but honestly, none of them are all are that interested. And the animatronic leaders are just a little too Simpsons-esque for Jack's liking.

Filled with food colourings and sugar it doesn't take long for them to start making their overly cheerful way to It's A Small World, complete with their very own rendition of It's A Small World After All.

They all clamber into the same boat and Jack stares down at the water, wonders if it's as gross as the internets told him it is. It's possible.

In front of them is a boat full of parents and kids and behind them is a boat full of parents and kids and despite the sort-of darkness and the gentle pace of the ride, Jack figures kissing Alex can wait for another opportunity.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

By the time they've ticked off all the rides on their to-do list it's well into the afternoon and Jack hates to say it but he's actually really fucking tired, wouldn't mind finding a soft, sunny spot to drag Alex to for a nap.

It seems like everyone else is in the same boat though, as in their travels they've passed a few more members of their group sprawled out across some of the many benches around the park.

They spend the time they have left wandering slowly back towards the entrance, Jack finally getting to purchase all of the useless crap he wants, getting him and Alex matching Mickey Mouse hats with their names embroidered on them like proper boyfriends should. (Alex looks fucking adorable)

Vic and Jaime get orange juice slushies, Tony buys another in what is apparently a long line of novelty Disney/Star Wars mashup figurines and Mike, Mike sits outside the long row of stores on a bench with all their bags like an old man.

They take so long shopping that they make it back to their meeting point with three minutes to spare and Jeff offers them all hi-five as they run the last hundred yards to their group.

“Another successful trip” Jeff announces, ticking their names off on his clipboard and yeah, Jack agrees.


	117. Chapter 117

There's a group of parents waiting outside the hotel when they arrive back and Jack spots Alex's parents at the back, standing with Tony's mom.

He's exhausted and judging by the much less enthusiastic way everyone exits the bus he's not the only one. He is officially all Disney'd out. At least until tomorrow anyway because he would quite happily do it all over again just as soon as he's recharged.

Both Tony and Alex are pulled into hugs and then interrogated as to how their days have been and Jack wonders if it'd be socially acceptable to drag Alex away from his friends and demand they take a nap together.

As they all clamber into the elevator together Jack leans back against Alex, ignores the others half-hearted squeak of protest.

“So,” Jaime says as the doors close, “I'm gonna go out on a limb here and suggest a group power nap before we go and check out the pool on the roof”

“You want to take a nap?” Vic sounds as disbelieving as Jack feels. Jaime really, really doesn't seem like the type of guy to have time for naps.

“Too many macarons” Jaime replies gravely, “And Jack's nearly half-asleep already”

Jack straightens up. “I am totally awake” He says, pointedly ignoring Alex's snicker.

Mike shrugs non-committally. “I'm cool with napping”

Alex's friends just continue to get more awesome.

They arrive at their floor and start making their way down the hall, Vic digging through his backpack for their room key.

Ditching their bags and shoes into a big pile by the door, the six of them kind of fall into bed, Tony demanding they at least pull the covers back first and yeah, maybe it should be weird but it really isn't.

Once again Jack ends up with Alex on one side and Vic on the other, the shorter boy wordlessly holding up the blankets for Jack to clamber between them.

Alex's arms come to cuddle around his waist and Jack snuggles in, nuzzling his head against Alex's chest. He's so tired and this bed is like a big beautiful fluffy cloud and it's going to take him like three seconds to fall asleep he's sure.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jack wakes an indeterminate time later, blinks sleepily into the now slightly darkened room, the sun having disappeared behind the other side of the building. He's really fucking warm. Alex is clinging to him like he might disappear at any moment, arms still around his middle and also across his hip and Jack might still be half-asleep but he knows that Alex does not have three arms.

Very, very slowly, Jack shifts his head so he can see behind him a little, finally notices that his back is snuggly warm on account of Vic. Vic who's arm it is that's slung across his hip. Vic who isn't his boyfriend. Vic who's boyfriend is like three feet away.

Jack sighs, unsure of whether or not he should try to move the other boy or go back to sleep. He wiggles a little, tries to at least unstick Vic from his back. He's successful and Jack figures that'll do. Vic can cuddle him in his sleep if he wants, Jaime doesn't seem like the possessive murderer type although Jack can't say he's sure of the same about Vic.

Jack's barely fallen asleep again when someones phone goes off and jesus, what is it with these guys and their angry music it is so not suitable to wake up to.

“Shit, sorry” Mike says, the music falling abruptly silent. “Thought I put it on silent”

Jack makes a non-committal grunt to indicate that he's heard and is awake but also not that awake and Mike snorts, peers over Tony and Alex at him.

“I see you acquired a Vic”

Jack sits up a little, tries to shake himself awake.

“I think he did the acquiring”

“That's what they all say” Jaime says sleepily from behind them, punctuating his sentence with a yawn.

Jack blushes.

“You're welcome to take him back” He says, and Jaime shakes his head.

“Oh no, he's your problem now”

“He sleeps like the dead and clings like a leech” Mike intones, “But you can just shove him off it he's too close for comfort, he won't even know”

Jack shrugs.

“He's keeping my back warm” He says, and Jaime laughs.

The three of them fall into silence for a few minutes, just the rustling of blankets as Mike sinks back down into the bed, phone in hand before Tony rolls over away from Alex, sighs and then lets out a long, drawn out whine.

“Mike” He says roughly, hand appearing to poke Mike in the shoulder. “Mike”

“Babe” Mike says evenly, eyes not moving from his phone as he combats his boyfriends poking by patting him a few times on the head. “Babe”

“No” Tony whines, “Mike”

Mike's head jumps up so quickly Jack swears he practically heard it crack as he practically throws his phone into the bed, hands coming to pull the blankets off the two of them.

Blanketless, Tony curls up into a little ball.

“Juice or tabs?” Mike asks quickly and there's a pause before Tony suggests “Both?” in a tone that seems more question than actual answer.

Jack almost feels like he's intruding on something private, something personal as Mike slips out of bed and then returns again with the requested items, hands curling around Tony's shoulders to tug him into a sitting position and it's weird to see someone else with the exact same vacant look in their eyes that Alex gets.

Jack looks down at Alex, still sleeping unawares.

“We should probably wake ours” Jaime says.

Jack shakes Alex's shoulder gently. “Alex, up”

Alex's brow furrows and his eyes crack open to give him an unimpressed stare.

“Not done yet” He says grumpily, “Go back to sleep”

“Nope” Jack says with a cheerfulness he doesn't really feel, “Up now”

Before Alex can tell him where to shove it, Mike comes to his rescue.

“Suns nearly set and turtle work up low so we're waking everyone”

Jack still isn't comfortable actually asking Alex to do Alex stuff, still some invisible line he's always cautious of crossing.

Alex stares up him some more.

“You could've just told me to get my ass up and test” Alex says, stretching his arms above his head and making a satisfied noise as his shoulders crack. “You know that”

Jack smiles down at his boyfriend, “Alexander, get your ass up and test”

Alex pokes out his tongue.

“You also know that calling me that never ends well and for the record i'm pretty sure i'm good” He says, before he follows Jack's gaze over to Tony, who's got both hands clutching at his juice box.

“Didn't this happen last year?” Alex asks, pancaking (There's really no other word for the way he drags himself all sleepy and limp across the room it's bizarre) his way out of the bed and across to their bag-pile.

“No, last year was Jaime falling out of that tree and breaking his foot, it was the year before” Mike says, sending a pointed look in Jaime's direction.

“And I learnt a very important lesson about testing branches” Jaime says smoothly, “Now help me with sleeping beauty over here”

Despite their chatter and the bouncing of the bed as Alex returns Vic sleeps on, albeit in what looks like the most uncomfortable position ever because Jaime had had to remove him from Jack and yeah, Vic clings like a leech.

Jaime half-heartedly tries to shake Vic awake, calling his name but Jack thinks it's mostly for show, especially when Jaime grins wickedly at him.

“There's really only one way to wake him” Jaime says delightedly and Jack finds himself tugged back a little bit by Alex, who he looks up at questioningly.

“You really don't want to be within hitting range” Alex says simply and shit, what's Jaime going to do, smother his own boyfriend?

The answer, as Jaime, still grinning clamps his hands across Vic's nose and mouth is yes, yes smothering is the method he's going for. Jack once read in one of his mothers magazines about a couple who'd gotten divorced because the wife had grabbed her husbands nose to get him to stop snoring, so it hardly seems like a good idea.

It does however, have the desired effect.

Completely dead to the world one minute Vic springs to life in well, the kind of way you would if your beloved was trying to kill you by lack of oxygen – eyes comically wide and arms flailing as he sits bolt upright, Jaime pulling his hands away and settling back on his haunches, unable to mask the grin on his face.

And okay, Jack expects Vic to be pissed off (Jack would not appreciate Alex doing the same to him) but as Vic leans forward, rests his hands on his knees to catch his stolen breaths he doesn't look all that angry. In fact, he doesn't look much of anything, eyes flicking around the room before they land on Jack with an almost confused expression before the smaller boy moves all at once, rolling off the bed and stumbling towards the bathroom, the crisp white door slamming shut in Mike's face as he tries to follow his brother.

“Well that went well” Tony says quietly, into the suddenly silent room.


	118. Chapter 118

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have this whole little PTV universe that goes back to Jaime meeting Vic and like, i'm sure if I spent less time thinking about it i'd get more done for this story

There's a pause where all five of them stare at the door and then Mike raises a hand to knock.

“Vic?”

There's no answer.

“Victor, open the fucking door”

There's a muffled thud and then Vic's voice.

“Fuck off”

“You shouldn't have tried to smother him to death” Jack says accusingly because really, the magazine seems to have been right.

“He likes to be alone” Mike says, like that explains everything.

Jaime seems unbothered, just gathers up Vic's meter case and a tube of something out of his bag and marches to the door.

“Vic, open the damn door or i'll call both Alex and Tony's moms”

Jack supposes if there ever was an effective threat tha'td be it. He can't imagine two worrying mothers.

“And i'll call ours!” Mike adds and christ, three mothers is possibly the worst.

Vic seems to agree because the door opens after a moment and his head pokes out, albeit at the bottom of the door because he seems to be sitting on the floor. A scrawny hand reaches out and waggles it's fingers at Jaime.

Jaime crouches down by the gap. “You gonna let me in?”

“No” Vic growls.

“Okay” Jaime says easily, “Here”

“What about me?” Alex pipes up from his spot next to Tony, “You know that we're not going to leave you alone if you're in there alone”

“I hate you” Vic spits venomously and Jack is kind of floored and also ready to punch Vic in the face. He thought Vic and Alex were like, the closest. He looks to Alex for guidance, ready to cut a bitch if need be.

“It's fine” Alex whispers quietly, “He doesn't mean it”

Alex crosses the room and drops down beside Jaime.

“Vic” He croons softly, “Let me in before Mike comes in there and drags you out”

“I said fuck off” Vic snaps again but he hasn't fully closed the door so Jack's not sure what's going on.

Alex puts his hands through the gap and Jack's breath catches in his throat because if Vic tries to slam the door shut Alex is gonna get hurt.

“Vic” Alex presses, “You have to let someone be in there with you, I know you don't want to but like Mike says, do you really want the moms in here?”

“I can take care of myself” Vic says bitterly, “You don't understand”

“Don't play that with me” Alex snaps back, soft and gentle tone disappearing. “Don't fucking tell me I don't know, that none of us know what it's fucking like, you don't get to say that”

With that Alex stands up and pushes the door open, steps through and slams it shut behind him and Jack can hear Vic's muffled protests and thudding and he looks at Mike and Jaime who seem to be way too calm about this whole thing.

“I fucking hate you!” Comes Vic's yells and Alex's angry reply of “Shut the fuck up!” and Jack soesn't know what to do here.

“Should we go in there?” He asks and it's Tony who speaks up. “They'll sort it” He says quietly, “Vic won't hurt him if that's what you're worried about”

The yelling and banging continues and Jack isn't so sure.

It goes quiet suddenly, the silence eerie until through the door there's a muffled sob and Jack's heart clenches, a lump in his throat and this isn't even about him but someone's hurting and even if it's not Alex and is instead Vic he still feels unsettled, wants things to be right.

Jaime wanders over to him, slings an arm around his shoulder. “It's okay” He says in far more serious a way than Jack imagines he would, “Vic has the tendency to be an asshole when he's low sometimes, that's all it is – he just needs someone to smack some sense into him”

Jack must make a face, because Jaime pats his back. “Not literally” He adds quickly.

Jack tries to put things together. Jaime woke Vic up. Vic is apparently low, and an asshole. Alex is somehow fixing things and someone, more likely than not Vic, is crying.

All Tony has done was wake up and want juice.

Jack remembers Alex though, the one time he'd gotten angry and it does make sense, is something he can understand even if it's not on quite the same level as Alex would. Independence is everything.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few long, agonising minutes later the door opens and Alex's head pops out and he doesn't seem to be actively bleeding from the head or something so Jack thinks that Tony was probably right, that all they'd done was yell at each other.

“Jaime time” He says quietly, “Me and Jack are gonna head back to our room for a bit, yeah?”

Jaime pulls away from Jack, makes a beeline for Alex before pulling him into a quick hug, whispers something Jack doesn't catch but has Alex smiling before he pulls away again, disappearing into the bathroom.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“What the fuck” Are the first words out of Jack's mouth the minute they close the hotel door behind them, step out into the hallway. “Are you okay?”

Alex's arms immediately wrap around him and Jack returns the hug, presses his cheek against Alex's hair.

“It's complicated” Alex says, voice muffled against Jack's chest and yeah, no shit. Jack's pretty sure even teenage girls on TV don't have this much drama.

“I'm fine though” Alex continues, obviously aware that Jack needs placating, “Just wanna go back and cuddle for a bit”

Cuddling Jack can do.

The two of them make their way to their own room, arms still wrapped around each other as Jack pushes the door shut with his foot and leads Alex over to the bed, pulling the covers back and folding them both awkwardly underneath them.

Alex snuggles into him tightly, nose nuzzling Jack's chin.

“Vic's complicated” He says with a heavy sigh and Jack makes a hmms in response.

Alex doesn't volunteer any more information and Jack knows he shouldn't press but he wants to know anyway. A quiet Alex is a thinking too much Alex.

“Jaime said he's an asshole when he's low” Jack says and Alex snuffles a laugh into his neck, fingers curling against Jack's hip.

“He kinda is” Alex replies, “It's like, sometimes people feel it differently, you know?”

Jack decides to go for honesty. “Not really” He says, because he kind of understands that it obviously must feel shitty but him and Alex have never really gone into it in that much depth. He's seen Alex shake and cry but not too much else is visible.

“For me” Alex continues, “It's like being stuck in a puddle of syrup or something I can't get out of, can't fight my way through because everything is in slow motion and you know i'm crier”

Jack nods, figures Alex can feel him doing it even if it he can't see.

“But Vic, he gets frustrated sometimes, keeps trying to fight it and when he can't control it he just gets frustrated with everyone who's trying to help and it's always the worst when you wake up and it hits you, even i've tried to fight Rian when he's woken me up in the middle of the night”

All Jack can do is hug Alex tighter, wish for the millionth time that things were different.

“All he did was yell at me a bit until he properly woke up and realised what was going on and he turned into the soft gentle guy he is, not a huge deal”

“He said he hated you” Jack says quietly, “He sounded pretty serious.”

Alex sighs again. “He doesn't mean it, when he's right again he'll be texting me or over here apologising he always feels awful about it, I know I always do”

“You've never been like that” Jack says and it's true, in the six or so months they've been together Alex hasn't ever done more than swear at him when he's been high or low or riding a shitty rollercoaster of the two.

“You're good for me” Alex says, shifting so he can kiss Jack's cheek. “It's really hard to be mad when I know you care and I love you”

He pauses for a moment. “Not that Vic doesn't love his people, but i've got a good few years on him in experience and that probably counts for something”

“I do love you” Jack says softly, “I really do”

"I love you two" Alex says, kisses his cheek again.

“When we get home you'll have to get Zack to tell the story about how I called his mother a crotchety old whore in seventh grade”

Jack can't help the burst of laughter that ripples through him at the thought of Alex saying such a thing to such a lovely lady as Mrs Merrick.

“You didn't” He says playfully, “You fucking didn't”

Alex grins up at him, “I absolutely did, I couldn't face her for weeks after”


	119. Chapter 119

Later, Alex is in the shower when there's a knock at the door and Jack opens it to an extremely sheepish looking Vic. Just Vic, which makes Jack wonder if he hasn't like, escaped from Jaime or Mike, that maybe he shouldn't be alone.

“Hi” Vic says quietly, looking behind Jack into their room. “Is Alex around?”

“In the shower” Jack says and Vic just nods his head a few times, puts his hands in his pockets.

“I'll uh, come back later then” He says, turning to leave and Jack just can't let him go, not when he looks so upset.

“Hey” He calls, stopping Vic in his tracks.

“Did you maybe want a hug?”

Vic stares up him, almost as if he's trying to figure out Jack's angle here and then slowly shakes his head.

“N-no, but thanks though” He says softly and Jack can understand that hugging someone who's essentially a stranger wouldn't be something Vic's into. He can't imagine Alex accepting comfort from someone he hardly knows, but he figures it's the offer itself that's important. He doesn't want Alex's friends to be sad, especially not at Disneyworld.

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Alex steps out of the bathroom in only a towel, crosses the room and starts opening the drawers he's so anal about using. Jack would prefer if he lost the towel and came to bed.

“Vic was here” He informs his boyfriend, “Said he'd come back later or you know, you could go to him?”

Alex pauses, nods thoughtfully. “He might want a cuddle, if that's okay with you?”

Once upon a time (Okay so what, two days ago?) Jack thinks he might've been unwilling to let Alex cuddle with Vic, unimpressed with the slightly standoffish way the other boy has been but not now, not anymore. Alex is his own person and Jack really, really doesn't think he's going to fight Jaime for Vic's hand.

“I think I can suffer through” He teases gently, not wanting Alex to get the wrong idea. “But you have to kiss me before you go and leave me by my lonesome”

Alex snorts, getting dressed and disappearing back into the bathroom before sitting down on the egde of the bed.

“You're know you're my one and only” He teases back, “You can come if you want, Jaime's usually good for platonic touching”

“Nah” Jack says, “I might stay here and bug Rian for a bit, watch Aladdin”

Alex smiles softly at him, leans over to give Jack the kiss he requested.

“I won't be too long” Alex promises, “Don't forget we're going to the pool later”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alex returns about half an hour later and Jack hasn't gotten around to watching his movie, still sprawled across th bed in pretty much the same position he was when Alex had left. He's been texting Rian, trying to extract more information about Alex's friends. Rian isn't giving him anything other than they're all lovely, which Jack already knows. He's just curious.

“All good?” Jack asks, and Alex affixes him with a grin.

'All good” He confirms, “Mike's trying to organise everyone to head upstairs, so get naked”

Jack wishes Alex meant sex naked instead of put your board shorts on as soon as you are.

“Alex” He whines, “I just wanna stay here and get naked with you”

“Tough shit” Alex says, “I haven't been swimming since last year”

Jack pouts. Still, at least he'll get to see Alex shirtless. And wet. And probably swimming like a real person. There hadn't ever really been a need for Jack to be any more than proficient at swimming, not in a small town where the largest source of water was a lake nearly two hours away. Jack's confident in his not-drowning-dog-paddle skills but that's about it. Maybe Alex can leap in to heroically save him if he flails around a bit.

“C'mon” Alex urges, digging through the drawers again, throwing out the bag of assorted tapes he'd bought the day before onto the bed.

“Fine” Jack grumbles, rolling pathetically off the bed and heading towards his suitcase. His shorts have dinosaurs on them, which is pretty cool.

Alex's are a bright blue with like, seagulls on them or something. Some kind of sea bird. It's very cute.

“You're so fucking adorable” Jack says, stepping into his shorts and he'll never get tired of the little smile Alex makes when complimented, nor the smallest hint of a blush on his cheeks.

Thankfully it's dark so there won't be any need for sunscreen and Jack's ready soon enough, got his turtle-print beach towel out and flip-flops on his feet.

Alex is still muddling about doing whatever so Jack gets his boyfriends towel for him, decides to wear one as a cape and the other on his head like girls do with their wet hair before sitting on the edge of the bed, swinging his feet.

The sudden barage of frantic knocking on their door makes Jack jump and Alex laughs as outside they can hear Jaime yelling for them to hurry up.

Alex lets him in pretty quickly – they'll probably get a noise complaint if they let him continue and Jaime bounces in, towel wrapped around his waist and wearing a Hawaiian shirt with toucans on it. Behind are him Mike, Vic and Tony and fuck, Mike's just as lanky as him but he's got real, proper muscles, Tony too. Jack can only dream of looking like a real man one day. Vic's wearing a t-shirt, so Jack can't be sure be he's probably more manly than him too. Like a teeny, tiny pitbull. Or a chihuahua, the thought of which brings a smile to Jack's face but he wisely decides not to mention.

“Let's go!” Jaime enthuses, grabbing Alex around the middle and picking him up while Alex shrieks indignantly. “C'mon Jack or i'm taking Alex away to be my bride!”

“You wouldn't dare!” Jack says, getting off the bed and making towards Jaime, snapping his towel threateningly. “Let him go and no one gets hurt”

Jaime laughs, deposits Alex safely on the ground again. “Hurry up then” He urges, “I don't spend all my time on this body not to show it off”

Vic snorts. “What time would that be?”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The pool area is strangely quiet, although it is getting late. Jack figures everyone else didn't have an afternoon nap and is going for an early night.

One of the plastic lounge chairs becomes a makeshift table for all their crap and Jack thinks it's very polite of him to wait for everyone to be ready before he throws himself into the huge pool, cool water beckoning him in. It's one of those fancy pools too, where the edge of it is the edge of building, an amazing view which Jack is sure he'll appreciate more once he's actually in the water.

A sheeking sound distracts him from his pool admiration and Jack turns to his attention back to their little group and the bright purple tape Alex is currently tearing off with his teeth. Mike has a roll too, printed with big yellow smiley faces.

“What's with the tape?”

Alex spares a hand to gesute to his site, mouth still full of tape and apparently Jack had been in pool dreamland long enough for him to disconnect, the pump itself resting next to Tony's, tubing wrapped carefully around them but Jack has no doubt they'll like, have inanimate object sex and be tangled together by the time they're needed again.

“Protection” Tony clues him in. “Keeps everything stuck where it's supposed to be”

Jaime giggles and mumbles something about sticking things in certains places and Tony swats at him.

“Grow up”

“Make me” Jaime replies, poking his tongue out.

“Here” Alex says, holding out the tape to Jack. “I need three more bits”

Jack watches with fascination as Alex pats the pieces of tape around the gauze of his site to make a slightly overlapping square, Mike helping Tony with his. Jack wants tape.

He voices his thought and Alex smiles fondly at him.

“Sure” He agrees easily, taking the tape back. “Close your eyes”

Jack does, fully expecting Alex to stick the tape on one of his slightly more hairy areas but he doesn't. Oh no, Jack finds himself with his mouth taped shut. Jaime cackles, gives Alex a double handed hi-five.

The tape stings like an absolute bitch to get off and by the time he does everyone's laughing, even Vic Jack does the only thing he can do – make sure Alex isn't holding anything vital and then grab him and throw him unceremoniously into the water.


	120. Chapter 120

They swim forever, laughing and shrieking and they're all shirtless except for Vic which comes in handy when they're racing because Jack can grab onto his shirt to propel himself ahead and it's great, the water lovely and cool and Mike tries to teach them how to backflip in the deep end. Jack can't even front flip so he just watches, Alex sort of going sideways and Jaime somehow spinning round and belly-flopping instead. Tony's got it though, and Mike doesn't even let Vic try, waits for him to be on the edge of the pool before picking him up bridal style and throwing him into the water every single time no matter how much the smaller boy protests. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

By the time Jack's following Alex's damp footprints and dripping hair back to their hotel room he's exhausted. Alex's friends are awesome but fuck, if he's half as enthusiastic as Jaime is Jack needs to like, apologise to everyone he's ever met. His cheeks genuinely hurt from how much laughing and smilig he's been doing too, it's ridiculous.

All he wants is a shower and then sleep.

Alex though, seems to have other plans as he closes the door behind him, giving Jack an impish grin as he promptly flips his flip flops across the room and takes off his shorts and underwear in one not so swift, awkward peeling off wet clothing kind of way.

“Ta da” Alex announces brightly, limp cock just kind of hanging there for Jack to admire. Which he does. Jack is a great admirer of Alex's junk.

He claps slowly, unsure of what Alex is up to.

“Get over here” Alex demands. “And get your pants off”

“Well” Jack says slowly, “I was just gonna take a shower”

“You can shower after you fuck me” Alex wheedles and Jack grins, because no matter how tired he is he can't refuse an offer like the one Alex has just made.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning Jack wakes first, rolls away from Alex and spreads his limbs out againts the cool sheets. He wishes this bed would fit into his suitcase. He goes to shower, wash the scent of chlorine from his skin and what's probably Alex's come from his stomach. They'd gotten a little bit adventurous, Jack finally getting Alex up against the wall like hed been wanting to and despite a few near-dropping Alex moments the whole experience had been excellent, something that Jack is looking forward to repeating.

Alex stumbles in while he's washing his hair, all doe-eyed and soft-limbed, still holding onto that fucked out look he gets and Jack opens the shower door for him, tugs his conveniently pre-naked boyfriend into the cubicle and reaches for the shampoo.

“You're the best” Alex mumbles sleepily, leaning against him.

“No you're the best” Jack teases gently, pushing Alex's head under the water and fumbling for the conditioner.

When Alex is all squeaky clean Jack finishes his own hair before wrapping his arms around Alex's waist and poking at the tape still firmly stuck to his skin.

“Want me to pull it off for you, i'll promise i'll be gentle”

Jack has no such intentions, wants to see if he can like, wax Alex so he's got a weird naked patch.

“Somehow I doubt that” Alex says dryly, leaning his back against Jack's chest “But no” He continues, “I'm gonna need it for our beach trip”

Jack freezes. “Alex” He says slowly, “There's a beach trip and you didn't tell me?”

“Nope” Alex says nonchalantly, “Thought it'd be a nice surprise before we fly home tonight”

“I'll surprise you” Jack says, taking advantage of where his hands are and digging them into Alex's sides, causing Alex to shriek.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There's another breakfast being held in the hall Alex tells him as they get dressed and Jack's excited (Because when is he never not excited about food) and as they step out into the hall to meet up with the rest of their little gang the look on Mike's face and the wink that follows it makes it very, very obvious that probably everyone knows he and Alex had a good night. God, Jack hopes it wasn't because they could be heard from that many rooms down. Surely Alex wasn't that loud, right?

Vic seems happier today, tucked under Jaime's arm as they cram into the elevator, laugh bright as Alex fights Tony for the right to press the ground floor button.

“Ha!” Tony crows triumphantly, hi-fiving Jaime. Alex pouts and Jack offers him a pat on the head.

“I want flapjacks” Jaime announces. “Like, an oceans worth of flapjacks”

“Ooh” Jack says, easily swayed from his thoughts of bacon because hey, flapjacks.

“And an ocean of maple syrup no doubt” Mike adds, “You're disgusting”

“You just don't understand the magic” Jaime says, crossing the tiny space to wedge himself between Jack and Alex as slings an arm around Jack's waist.

“I'm leaving you all for Jack, he understands” He continues and Alex laughs, wiggling out of the corner he's now in to take Jaime's place with Vic, flipping them off as he does so.

“I'm taking Vic then” Alex says brightly, pulling Vic into a close hug and making kissy noises. “He's all the sweetness I need”

Vic plays along, throwing his arms around Alex's neck and standing on tip toe as if to deepen their fake kiss. Jack's only jealous like, a little bit. Mostly it's just adorable.

“No fair” Tony throws in, “I don't wanna be stuck with Mike”

“Join us” Jack says, “Threesome are the best”

Tony does, ends up on Jack's non-Jaime side, leaning into him with a smirk as they all turn to Mike who lets out a long, heaving sigh.

“You're all ridiculous” Mike says in exasperation. “I can hardly be in a threesome with my own brother now can I?”

Jaime snorts and Vic removes himself from Alex to launch himself at Mike, forcing his brother to catch him so he doesn't slam straight into the ground, wrapping his arms and legs around him like a pretzel.

“But Mikey, hermano” Vic says sweetly, ignoring Mikes efforts to put him down, “I luh-ove you”

He then proceeds to plant actual kisses on Mike's cheeks and Tony looses it, bent double and gasping for breath as he laughs and fuck, Jack can only wish he could move to San Diego to have fun with them all the time. With Alex, of course.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Halfway through his mountain of flapjacks and accompanying mountain of syrup and some kind of blueberry sauce (Jaime has the best ideas) Jack notices that it's been awhile and Alex, Vic and Tony haven't yet returned from their trip to check in with the relevant parties adults elsewhere in the massive building.

Mike and Jaime don't seem concerned in the slightest but maybe they just haven't noticed it's been more than ten minutes Alex could've been abducted or something.

“Shouldn't they be back by now?” He voices his concern and Mike looks up from where's he's been staring glazed into his phone and shrugs.

“Hasn't been that long” He says, and Jaime takes a swig of his orange juice before he chimes in.

“They've probably gotten distracted by something shiny or having a secret meeting or some shit”

Jack can't help but imagine the three of them sitting in a circle doing some weird kind of satanic chant, possibly with their meters in the middle or something.

“I can text Vic if you want” Mike says carefully and Jack realises he mustn't be hiding his concern very well. He just really, really doesn't want Isobel to kill him for loosing Alex somewhere.

“It's fine” Jack quickly reassures. “I think I might be turning into Rian”

Mike laughs, setting his phone down and stealing a mouthful of Jaime's juice.

“It's cute” He says, “You and Alex are just like Vic and Jaime when they first started dating, all cuddly and attached at the hip or in these idiots case, the lips”

“Hey” Jaime protests, “Vic totally came on to me all the time, what's a guy supposed to do?

“Oh yeah?” Mike challenges with a smirk, “Remember that time on the field trip to the zoo?”

Jaime immediately covers his face with his hands but even that can't hide the blush flushing up from his neck.

“No” He groans loudly, “We don't talk about that”

Jack grins at Mike, who grins back and mouths 'later' while pointing at Jaime. It's going to be an excellent story, Jack can tell.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After the official parental unit check in Alex finds himself letting Vic and Tony lead him outside, onto the grassy outdoor area across the from convention hall, following Vic's lead as he plonks himself down underneath a wonderfully green Floridian tree. Jack's most likely very occupied with his stack of flapjacks so Alex doesn't worry that they're not heading straight back. He kind of knew this was coming.

“So” He says nervously into the silence. “What's up?”

Alex knows they want to talk about Jack. Vic and Tony, especially Vic are the west coast mini Rian's in his life. He worries about them, they worry about him and it's all a big, cuddly circle of friendship and wanting everyone to stay safe. Mike and Jaime care too of course, but it's different.

He remembers when Vic and Jaime had finally decided to act on their obvious affections for each other and even knowing that they were already best friends – not outsiders like Jack was, Alex was still so, so nervous for Vic, wondering if it would work out, if he'd get burned like he'd been before.

Jack is definitely an unknown entity and Alex loves him but is willing to accept that three days might not be enough for everyone to be completely sold on his boyfriends considerable charms.

“Just wanted it to be us for minute” Vic says, not giving anything away.

“I know it's Jack” Alex cuts in, “I promise he's the best boyfriend in the entire world and he'd never do anything like before”

Tony smiles at him and Alex is reassured a little. He knows that neither him nor Vic would like, actively try to stress him out. It's been awhile since he's had a panic attack (The plane doesn't count in his book) and he doesn't want to break his streak.

“We like Jack” Tony says, “It's completely obvious he's head over heels for you”

“It's kind of gross” Vic adds, “You kids and your love”

“We just want to make sure you're doing okay” Tony continues, “Since he's you know, not like grown up with all this shit”

“He's amazing” Alex assures, “I've nearly got him trained as good as Rian”

Jack is amazing. Alex must remember to tell him that when they get back.

“And i'm really good actually, Jack's kind of contagious that way”

“Just like Jaime” Vic says, “Lord knows what they're doing to Mike right now”

Tony shuffles sideways to pull Alex into a hug, ruffle his hair.

“You know you can call us whenever” He says and Alex returns the hug tenfold, rests his chin against Tony's shoulder.

“I know” He says, “Love you”

“Love you too”

Tony pulls away then and Alex can't help but to reach up and try and fix the mess Tony's no doubt created on his head. Tony just does it again, more insistently.

“I'm gonna head back” Tony says with a soft smile and Alex tenses, because that means Vic has something to say, something just for him.

As he disappears back inside Alex shuffles closer to Vic, letting the smaller boy lean into his side and throw his legs over his lap. He's so fucking small, twig thin and bony but Alex knows he's trying, how much better Vic's been though it doesn't stop him from idly wondering if he could persuade Joyce to make a giant box of her cookies to post over. Peanut butter and pistachio, Vic's favourite.

“Do you really like Jack?” Alex finds himself asking, “I know you only just met him so it's okay if he hasn't grown on you yet, I swear he's amazing”

“It has only been a few days” Vic says slowly, “But I think he's really, really good for you, you're all smiley and happy and there's just something about you that's different. Like you're not running anymore, and you love him, don't you?”

“I really do” Alex says, can't help the little smile working it's way onto his face. Vic's approval means the world.

“What about you?” Alex questions, turning the tables now that it's clear everyone think's Jack is just as lovely as he does. “How are you really?”

Vic's always been complicated and between him and Tony Alex sometimes isn't sure how Mike manages to keep them altogether because there's only one Jack and it's Alex that's the not right one and it's still intensely stressful on occasion.

“I'm doing okay” Vic says, and Alex knows he's being told the truth. “Good days and bad days but it's not so bad, been trying to get Mike to go with Tony's family for his birthday but he won't fuckin' leave”

Alex can't imagine if Rian was his real brother. Despite being younger Mike is just as protective of Vic as Vic is of him and it gets them in no short amount of trouble. Alex would probably just have a massive breakdown and go live in a hut in the woods or something.

He cuddles Vic closer, pulling him properly onto his lap and there's brief moment of wiggling and adjusting so his pump isn't poking Vic in the back.

“Jaime's hardly gonna let you get into trouble” Alex murmurs, “Well, not too much anyway”


	121. Chapter 121

Alex stays outside with Vic a little longer, the two of them enjoying the precious time they've got alone to properly catch up and sometimes Alex wishes that they could get together more often, not have to rely so much on these few days every year.

He'd love to visit Vic but can't ever see his parents agreeing to it and the Fuentes have enough trouble getting Vic and Mike to Florida every year.

Soon enough Vic's phone goes off and they're being looked for and Alex stifles a laugh as Vic reads out that Jack is making the most pathetically lost face so it's very important that Alex is returned safely.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Beach prep takes forever with all six of them converging back in their hotel room, Tony complaining his towel is still damp from last night and all the stuff they might need thrown on the beds, the group decision (Well, him Tony and Vic's decision because the rest of their group do not get a vote) that they pool their resoucres into one backpack. Less stuff to lose, they figure.

The beach is great, Alex isn't denying that it's just that it takes a lot of effort to be organised for that kind of thing. The adults will drop them off but then they're going to lunch – trusting them to take care of themselves for the first time during this particular trip tradition and Alex really, really doesn't want to fuck things up.

Vic's in total control though, going through a list of essentials and then making sure they have double. If the zombie apocalypse happens while they're there they could probably last a week or two. Alex definitely prefers Vic over his mom at any rate.

Mike's in charge of towels and putting sunscreen on Tony, who in turn does Jaime who does Vic who does Alex who does Jack who does Mike. Alex remembers three years ago when Mike had tried to get an all over tan and ended up with a lobster red ass that had, as Vic had so gleefully told him a few days later, peeled everywhere and was both gross and awesome.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There's a cool wind blowing as Jack crawls into Mrs Perry's rental car next to Tony, getting squished in by Mike because through the windscreen he can see Alex is still with his mom and by the looks of Isobel's flailing hands, getting a lecture of some sort.

“I bought snacks!” Jaime says excitedly from the fold up seats in the back of the SUV and sure enough there's a packet of crispy m&ms being waved in Jack's face.

“It's a twenty minute trip” Tony says but reaches over and takes the packet anyway, shaking a few into his cupped palm and offering them back to Jack and Jack's never been one to turn down free chocolate.

Vic gets in next, gets to sit next to Jaime which is totally not fair that they're the only sitting together couple and finally Alex appears next to him and Jack throws his arm over the seat to poke his boyfriend in the nose.

“Jack” Alex says fondly, swatting him away so he can reach for his seatbelt before his seems to notice the m&ms.

“Who's bright idea were those?” He asks and before Jack can answer Jaime pipes up.

“Mine” He says brightly.

“It's a twenty minute trip” Alex says, rolling his eyes.

“That's what I said” Tony adds, “Not like he's hyper enough or anything no, give him something fucking blue before ten am”

Mike laughs, taking the packet and pouring all the remaining treats into his mouth.

“Problem solved” He announces through a mouthful of chocolate.

Jaime turns his face into the most adorable frown Jack's ever seen apart from Alex's.

“I hope you get eaten by a shark” Jaime sulks, crossing his arms grumpily.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Said twenty minute trip passes quickly, Jaime refusing to speak to Mike and the rest of them finding it hilarious, Alex trying to outwit Vic in a Flappy Bird battle and Jack, well, he can't stop staring hopefully out the window.

The beach is awesome, he's only been a few times but he loves it, loves the sand and the waves and finding cool stuff in rockpools and eating ice cream. It's sunny but quite cool out, though Jack doubts any of them care. Even if it was snowing and the ocean was frozen he'd still be down.

Mrs Perry pulls into the parking lot and all Jack wants to do is throw himself over Tony and out of the car, race across the sand and into the water. But he doesn't. He's totally an adult. That and Mrs Perry is rattling off a list of instructions that are no doubt a collaboration between her and Alex's mom. And probably Mike and Vic's too. The great mom list.

Jack follows Mike around to the back, finds himself in charge of carrying the giant beach umbrella that they somehow magically got to fit in there. Vic's in charge of the backpack, Alex grabs their towels and Jaime volunteers to go ahead and find them the perfect spot.

All Jack wants to do is throw himself into the sea.

The beach isn't patrolled during the off season Mike tells him, so he'd do best to stay close because unlike Jack himself, Mike apparently knows how to read the ocean. But then again San Diego is like, surrounded by it so Jack isn't all that surprised. At least none of them will get dragged out to Alaska or something.

“Here!” Jaime call enthusiastically a few minutes later having found said perfect spot, halfway between the water and the boardwalk on mostly footprint free dry sand.

Jack erects the umbrella and toes off his shoes, bounces on his feet. He's so ready it's actually paining him to wait trying to be an adult sucks so many balls and of course he's forgotten that Alex and Tony can't just ditch their stuff and leave, they have to disconnect their pumps and they're just calmly chatting while they spread their towels and start the process and it's like they're not even in a rush, like they're not at the goddamn beach with the waves so close Jack can almost taste the salt on his tongue.

Everyone pulls off their shirts in quick succession except Vic again and Jack hops from foot to foot, tries not to appear impatient because it's no ones fault he has to wait.

Tony catches his eye, then looks behind him to the water.

“You can go ahead, it's okay” He says in that soft way he does like it's no trouble at all and Jack's ready to say no, to refuse and stay with him but as per usual Alex is a million steps ahead.

“You heard the man” Alex says. “Jaime'll go with you”

“Race ya” Jaime says suddenly before he starts sprinting and Jack's like, ninety percent sure he can catch him even with his headstart.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He doesn't catch Jaime, is horrifically out of breath by the time he feels the cool water on his feet, Jaime already out waist deep and Mike appears beside him, striding out in the break.

Jack turns back to the beach, sees Vic making his way down, Alex and Tony still far away.

The waters surprisingly warm, cold but not too cold, the bright sun and cloudless sky no doubt helping to combat the effects of the wind.

His balls suck right up when he gets that far out, Mike and Jaime jumping up to catch the larger waves with grins on their faces, clearly in their element.

Vic's a few feet away beside him now, hands trailing across the top of the water as they make their way out and his hair is everywhere and he looks like a proper beach going Californian. Jack wonders if Vic can surf. Jack would like to try surfing.

“Hurry the fuck up” Jaime urges and Jack doesn't have a reason to refuse, Vic diving underneath a cresting wave and appearing on the other side, shaking his head like a dog and Mike's laughing and Jack would really like to stay here forever. There aren't alligators in the ocean, right?

They're out to their shoulders in a little group by the time Tony and Alex appear, Alex grinning widely as he announces his arrival by sneaking up behind Jaime and shoving his head under the water.

“You're in trouble now” Mike sing-songs as Jaime comes up spluttering and indigant.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mike tries to teach him how to bodysurf but Jack can't get the hang of it, disappointed as he watches Alex and Vic sweep past him, racing each other with Tony playing judge.

They go further out where the waves are just ideas the ocean has, the water just covering his shoulders and Mike informs them they're on a sandbar and Jack doesn't even know what that is but he figures this is as far as they're going.

He forgets that Vic is so much shorter than them that he can't touch the bottom, watches him dogpaddle around for a bit before Jaime takes pity and lets his boyfriend sit on his shoulders, lanky caramel legs against Jaime's untanned chest.

“We're gonna go get lunch” Mike says a little while later, Vic having ditched Jaime to swim some more and Tony fondly attached to his boyfriends back. “Are you guys coming or are you gonna stay here and become human prunes?”

“Human prunes” Jack and Vic in unison and Alex paddles over to kiss him before they leave, swimming back into the shallower water and crashing waves and Jack splashes idly as he watches them head up onto the sand to their spot and then disappear from the beach altogeher.

It's just him and Vic really, most of the other people at the beach in the actual waves or further up closer to the rocks.

Jack takes to pretending he's a mermaid, diving under the water and wiggling his hips and imagining himself with a rad looking tail, keeps trying to open his eyes and see his under water kindgom even though everytime he does the salt burns and he's reasonably sure the floating sand is eroding his eyeballs.

“Is there a word of mermaids who are like, guys?" He asks as he comes up for air, hair somehow in his eyes even though it's not that long.

“Merman, mermen?” Vic suggests and Jack laughs, head bobbing under the water for a moment before he resurfaces, grin on his face.

“Underwater race you?”

“You're on” 

They move so they're side by side and Jack counts.

“One, two, three.....go!”

Jack does his very best to throw himself into the water, get as deep as he can. He can out swim Vic, right? Surely at least he's got the height advantage.


	122. Chapter 122

There are a few things in life Alex is sure of. His mom is never going to stop over-mothering him, Rian will never be half as cool as he thinks he is and sand, sand is a fucking bitch.

Alex is quite fond of the beach, he likes swimming and dunking other people (Rian) into the waves, demanding ocean piggy back rides (Zack), the ability to eat chips and ice cream (Which he always makes Rian walk to get) but sand is his arch nemesis.

The problem with sand is that it gets everywhere. Absolutely fucking everywhere. In your hair and your ass crack and most inconveniently no matter how well he tapes it up, his pump site.

It's like sand just sets out to be an asshole because really, how the hell does it get under three layers of tape and the little plastic cap?

Technically the easiest way to fix the sand issue to just take his site out entirely before he goes in but it's annoying and time consuming and Alex refuses to give up on the hope that one day he'll come out of the ocean and connect back up and everything'll fucking work.

“Everything okay?” Jack asks, mouth filled with chip and Alex shrugs because yes and also no, everything is not okay sand is a jerk. It's not an immediate problem because swimming, but it is a thing for future him to do.

“I fucking hate sand” He whines, stealing a chip or three from Jack's handful.

“Amen to that” Tony says. “Although not quite so much today, I think i'm safe”

Of course the evil sand forces would let Tony's site be just fine.

“I'm going to stangle you” Alex intones, “Strangle you and bury you in a sandy grave” (He is not being overdramatic)

Mike snorts from where he's leaning confortably back under their umbrella.

Before Alex can extend his threat to Mike, Vic appears in his line of vision.

“Soda?” Vic asks, holding out a can of Coke (Actual, bona-fide Coke not zero or diet it's beautiful) and Alex's mouth actually waters. He hasn't had real Coke since like, well, probably their beach trip last year.

Alex grabs the can from Vic's hands, cradles it's bright red pureness in his hands. The sand can wait.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Even an extra large serving of chips doesn't last long when split between six teenage boys who've been swimming for hours and it's a quick decision that they're also going to require ice cream.

“I'm not walking up there again” Jaime says, throwing himself back onto his towel dramatically, wrapping his arms around Vic's waist and pulling him down with him.

“Guess i'm staying too” Comes Vic's voice, slightly muffled by the way his face is smushed into Jaime's chest.

“I can't leave my drink unattended” Alex announces, clutching his still half a can close to his chest because he's is not parting with it for anything. “Sand might get in it”

He looks expectabntly at Jack, who shrugs. “I'm tired” He says, not bothered with an excuse.

Tony sighs. “I suppose me and Mike could make an ice cream run”

Jaime lets out a cheer and Mike leans over and flicks his nose.

“As long as you know i'm licking all your ice creams on the way back”

Still nursing his can Alex watches Mike and Tony head up the beach, Mike's arms slung around Tony's waist in an exceedingly cute fashion.

He's not quite as pissed off with the sand as he was. Mainly because he's just thought of a way to make a routine fucking-stupid-sand site change a little more entertaining.

“Jack” He says sweetly, “Wanna help me change?”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jack can't quite see why Alex requires assistance, can't wait for Tony or Mike to come back or hell even Vic probably knows what to do better than the does but he downs the rest of his grape soda and shuffles across the sand to give his boyfriend a hand. A hand which is basically him digging through the mega backpack for everything Alex needs and then just sitting back and pretending Alex actually needs him.

“Here” Alex says eventually, as Jack's been distracted watching seagulls a few feet away arguing with each other and Jack takes the infusion set from him, suddenly aware of Jaime and Vic's gazes. He's only done this once and there wasn't an audience involved.

But he has done it and it was fine. Jack summons a confidence he's not entirely sure he's got and lets Alex kneel in front of him, a look in his eyes Jack can't quite place.

Get it in the right spot and press the exceedingly obvious button it's not actually that hard, not with Alex's fingers marking where he wants it to go and all Jack has to do is press down and wait for the snap.

Alex screams.

A proper scream too, one that frightens the seagulls away and makes Jaime startle and Vic make an answering noise of fright and Jack's heart is three seconds from throwing itself out of his throat because he's clearly fucked up somehow. His hands are over his eyes almost automatically because if he's hurt Alex he doesn't want to see.

There's a horrible, awful beat of silence before Alex makes this raspy choking noise and Jack peeks through his fingers to see the damage. Vic's going to kill him, right here on this beach in beautiful Florida.

Except Alex isn't crying or panicking or bleeding to death or anything he's laughing, tears running down his cheeks and Jack can't even begin to explain the rush of relief that flows through him, quickly followed by the desire to murder.

Alex is fucking laughing.

“You” Jack finally gets out, still struggling to comprehend what's just happened. “You”

“Me!” Alex says in a high pitched breath, “The look on your face!”

Alexander William Gaskarth is a horrible human being.

Vic's laughing too, head tucked against an also laughing Jaime's chest and Jack tries to make himself laugh as well because it is kind of funny and it's obvious Alex meant it as a joke, he's said a million times it doesn't hurt but part of Jack hurts right now.

Even the idea, the thought of hurting Alex makes him uncomfortable. Knowing that sometimes Alex does things that hurt him, even if they're for his benefit makes him want to bundle his boyfriend up and take him to some far away planet where he's okay and diabetes doesn't exist. Even so, Jack knows that right now is hardly the place or the time to discuss this kind of thing with Alex.

“If you ever do that again I won't talk to you for a week” Jack threatens, heart still racing. “Or touch you”

“Ooh” Jaime says in a eerily well done falsetto, “Didn't plan for that did you Gaskarth?”

“I'm sorry” Alex gets out between bursts of what's turned into hysterical giggling, “I had to!”

Alex really doesn't look all that apologetic.

“To think I was gonna share my icecream with you” Jack continues, “I hope Mike licks yours the most”


	123. Chapter 123

Ice cream consumed (Jack had weakened and let Alex have a few licks of his rum and raisin) they collectively decide on a walk to the cliffy end of the beach and to what Jack hopes are rockpools full of cool awesome things, like maybe a starfish. Jack's always wanted to poke a starfish. The thought disracts him from Alex, which is a good thing because Jack doesn't want to ruin his final day with his friends.

They walk slowly, right on the edge of the water and they end up trailing out in a long line, Vic and Alex up the front and Jack finds himself falling into step with Mike, bringing up the rear.

Jack's kind of in awe of Mike. Partly because he's so tall and manly, partly because fuck, he's got Tony and Vic and he's just so chill about everything. Unlike with Vic, Jack doesn't get any weird vibes from Mike. He hopes that means that Mike likes him, or maybe that he just doesn't care quite as much.

Ahead of them Jaime's trying to push Tony into the water, kicking sand at him and Jack smiles, laughs softly. Add in a Jaime and Mike probably deserves some kind of medal for not killing anyone. How does he do it, just be so casual about everything?

“How do you do it?” Jack finds himself blurting out into the companionable silence before he blushes, looks awkwardly at Mike, who looks at him curiously.

“Do what?”

“Deal with all of them and be so chill” Jack says, before backpedaling quickly, “Not that they have to be dealt with just you're so -”

“Jack, relax” Mike says easily, hand coming to pat him firmly on the shoulder. “I know what you mean”

Jack does relax. Mike's just that kind of guy. Scary out the outside but all soft and gooey on the inside. 

“They watch themselves mostly” He says, “That doesn't mean I don't spend way too much fucking time worrying about them but like, Vic paved the way for Tony you know, so even though I love Tony I don't worry about him as much because i've already seen just about everything”

Jack nods.

“I don't think Vic likes me” He admits in a small voice. “The way he looks at me, like maybe i'm not good enough for Alex or something”

Jack doesn't want to start anything, but he has to know. Even if so that next year he can put a better foot forward – and he sincerely hopes there's a next year, can't imagine being without Alex.

“Vic's complicated” Mike says slowly and Jack lets out a long sigh.

“That's exactly what Alex said” He says, and Mike laughs a little.

“Vic likes you just fine” Mike assures. “I know it absolutely doesn't look like it but he does, he's just protective of Alex is all, they've ben through a few rough patches together”

“I'd never do anything to hurt Alex” Jack insists, “Surely that's obvious”

“It is, but like I said, Vic's a wary guy, he's just looking out for one of his best friends.”

Jack looks up the beach again, where Vic and Alex are playing with a monster clump of seaweed, throwing it back and forth between them. By all accounts Vic is a very, very nice guy.

All Jack wants is for them all to be on the same team. Alex's team.

“The best piece of advice I can give you” Mike says as they continue to walk, “Actually comes from Jaime”

Jaime's now wearing a seaweed hat and is trying to shove handfuls of sand down Tony's shorts.

“I know it's hard to believe when you look at him” Mike says with a laugh, “But underneath all his uh, whatever it is he's surprisingly intuitive and if it weren't for him Vic wouldn't be half as happy as he is now”

It's not that Jack can't see it, because he's never been the type to judge people like that just it's a little difficult to imagine Jaime being the source of all wisdom but then he remembers the way Vic looks at him and it isn't impossible that Jaime knows something about the world he doesn't.

“I'm all for any kind of advice I can get that doesn't involve smothering Alex with a pillow” Jack jokes, and Mike laughs once more.

“I never said he was smart” Mike chuckles before his face turns serious and he stops short in the sand.

“You have to know when to hold em, know when to fold em and know when to walk away”

Jack stares blankly at bit of Mike's hair that's curled itself around his ear. He's got to be fucking kidding.

“You're joking” He says indignantly because he thought he was going to get genuine advice, not some cliched bit of fucking country song. Like, it's worse because it's a country song. If Mike had quoted Lady Gaga or something, Jack would feel better.

Mike's face breaks into a grin. “So it's not exactly straight from Jaime” He concedes, “But it's not a bad way to explain it, you know?”

And you know, the more Jack considers it it's not actually the worst advice he's ever gotten. They all have to live with the cards they've been dealt and sometimes it's good to let someone peek over your shoulder and give you a hand.

“Anyway” Mike says, as a shriek from up the beach signals that Jaime's sand has reached it's intended location, “Good talk, I have to rescue my boyfriend from Mr Intuitive over there”

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The rockpools are mostly empty to Jack's great dismay, just a few bits of neat looking coral and and plenty of of empty oyster shells stuck to the rocks around them as well as no shortage of gross, slimy day old seaweed.

Tony laments that he hadn't brought his phone for pictures as the sun heads for the horizon behind them but Jack's okay with that, he'll always be able to picture this moment in his head, Alex's gorgeous silhouette against the sunset sky and ocean blue.

“Let's climb a bit” Jaime suggests and they all end up following, up the rocks surrounding the cliff, plenty of them since since the tide is out and Jack has Alex's back, the two of them helping each other around the more difficult spots.

They all come to sit on the edge of a huge flat rock, split into their little couples and Alex kisses his cheek, wraps an arm around his waist.

“You sure you don't want to stay here forever?” Jack asks, “I could totally see us in a retirement village by the sea”

Alex snuffles into his neck. “Nope” He replies, “You're just gonna have to come back home with me”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eventually the sun gets low enough that Vic says they should call it a day, get back down before the tide comes back up and yeah, Jack doesn't want to get swept away by a huge wave or anything.

Mike leads them, Vic next and Jack behind him, Tony, Alex and Jaime giggling about a rock that looks like it's a got a nipple or something equally ridiculous as they trail even further behind. The sea air has gone to their heads.

They're halfway down, crossing between two rocks that have started to dip into the rising water, the cresting waves spraying up onto them when Vic slips sideways with a tiny cry, throwing his hands out like any sane person would to do to stop their face from becoming one with a very solid surface but because he hasn't fallen forward, instead to the right his one of his hands doesn't hit rock. Oyster shells line the lower half of the boulder and Jack's whole body cringes and fuck, maybe if he'd been paying more attention he could've caught Vic or something, helped him across.

Mike's there instantly, kneeling down and grabbing his brother by the shirt and a leg, hauling him out of the gap, out of the ten or so inches of water pooled at the bottom and the others have finally caught up, coming around a corner and Jack presses tight to the rock beside him so Jaime can squeeze past.

“Vic!” He yells, maybe a bit too loudly for how close he is, “What the fuck happened?”

Vic's sitting up, half of him sort of wet, curls plastered to his cheek on one side and that would be okay, he looks okay, no bones poking out or twisted the wrong way it's just that his hand is practically red, blood running in rivulets down his arm and onto the rock below.

“He tripped” Mike supplies, grabbing Vic's arm and holding it up above his head. “Caught his hand on the shells”

“It's fine” Vic says calmly, way too calmly for Jack's liking, if he was bleeding like that he would not be calm at all, would be crying hysterically at the very least. Most likely screaming.

“Oh my god” Alex volunteers from where he's appeared with Tony, “Oh my fucking god”

That's what Vic should be saying.

“Take off your shirt before you bleed to death” Mike says quickly but Vic shakes his head, lowers his arm a bit, looks at it consideringly.

“Not that deep” He comments idly, “Don't think i'll bleed out on you anytime soon”

Mike huffs. “Jaime, shorts”

Jack doesn't get Vic's deal. Possibility of bleeding to death or not he needs to get that shit wrapped up so they can get back to the beach.

Jaime doesn't protest, just quickly shucks his mostly dry board shorts and passes them to Mike, who grabs Vic's arm and presses it against the mess of red. Thankfully he's wearing underwear, even if it is a little too well fitting.

Vic winces, the first sign of pain Jack's seen. He's not a robot then.

“Fuck fuck fuck” Vic breathes, “That fucking hurts”

“Mom's going to kill me” Mike says as he wraps the shorts around Vic's hand, Jaime crouching down by Vic's other side, letting the smaller boy lean against him.

“Really should've brought my phone” Tony says, “How are you going to get down?"

The waves are crashing closer now and Jack's a little worried they'll get stuck.

“Stop worrying” Vic says, “It's one hand I can still walk, just help me up”

He stands on shaky legs and one of his knees is scraped, a scratch on his other arm running up under his sleeve. Everyone is way too calm.

“I'll carry you” Jaime says, and Vic shakes his head. “You're already an accident waiting to happen let's not tempt fate, i'm fine”

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alex stays close as they hit the sand again, fingers reaching for Jack's own and Jack wraps an arm around him because he doesn't look so good, is kind of pale and his eyes wide. Everyone else seems to be taking things way too well and if it were Alex in Vic's place Jack would be an absolute mess. He's very thankful it isn't.

Jaime picks Vic up then, carries him easily back to their spot on the beach, Vic's legs bouncing with each step and Mike's got a hand on his brothers head as they walk.

Tony walks ahead a bit, gets there before them and starts digging through their mutual bag as Jaime puts Vic down on the towels.

“Here” Tony says soon enough, tossing a plastic packet of gauze and an ace bandage at Mike and like, Jack knew they were organised by he didn't they were actual-injury organised. “I'm gonna call mom to come get us, take Vic to the hospital”

“No” Vic protests, “Insurance won't cover it, i'll be fine”

“You probably need stitches” Mike says, using Vic's distraction to his advantage and peeling away the soaked material of Jaime's shorts in one quick move. Beside him, Alex winces.

Vic yelps, curling his hand to his chest. “Thanks Mike, that's really fucking helping” He makes a point of grabbing the gauze with his other hand and ripping the packet open with his teeth, pressing it to his hand himself. “They're not that deep”

“We're not discussing it” Jaime says, poking Vic's nose as he opens his mouth to protest again. “Don't even start with me” He continues, “Just humour us, alright”

“Yeah” Jack pipes in, “I don't want to be here next year with you only having one hand” He's trying to be encouraging, but Vic just glares at him. Oops.

“Alex” Vic says, “You wanna pass me my meter?”

“No” Mike says immediately, “Don't”

Vic smiles, a sort of smirk that doesn't quite match the pain in his eyes. “Aw come on, it'd be a waste not to”

For a few moments Jack can't figure out what he means until oh, gross.

“You will absolutely not ” Tony says. “Mom's on her way”


	124. Chapter 124

Back at the hotel for the final time, despite how Vic had insisted that he absolutely didn't need stitches nor did their insurance cover such a ridiculous, not potentially fatal injury Mrs Perry had very firmly said they were going to emergency to make damn sure because he wasn't dying on her watch and they'll all gone with him, so it's just Jack and Alex getting ready for their flight back home. Jaime and crew don't fly out until tomorrow.

Alex still looks sombre as he pulls everything out of his drawers again and Jack's not quite sure what to do beyond come up behind him and tug him into a hug.

“Another year over” Alex says quietly, “Almost injury free, too” He smiles wryly and Jack nuzzles his nose into Alex's still beach swept hair.

“Vic'll be fine, he didn't even cry. I would've cried. There would've been a fuckton of crying.”

Alex lets out a little huff of laughter. “A fuckton of crying” He echoes. “Vic's pretty stubborn that way”

Jack moves to kiss Alex's temple. “Just like someone else I know”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They've got a late flight out, don't have to be at the airport until nine and Jack spends it curled around Alex as he watches him watch his phone, texting back and forth with Tony, the TV on but neither of them really paying attention to the ancient movie it's playing on some station Jack's never heard of.

“Vic's giving the nurses trouble” Alex snickers, “Apparently one of them offered him a lollipop and called him kid”

Jack snorts. He really can't see Vic appreciating that, even if he maybe does look a little younger than he is.

There's a knock on their door nearly two hours later and Alex brightens considerably, promptly stealing Vic from where he's tucked under Jaime's arm and pulling him into a hug.

Vic's hand is wrapped thickly in white and he's wearing a soft, doe eyed expression that turns into lidded eyes as he leans against Alex. Didn't need stitches Jack's ass.

“He's so fucking high right now” Mike supplies, “Wouldn't sit still so they drugged him”

“Am not” Vic whines, an actual, genuine whine. “It's hardly my fault they sent an intern who wouldn't know one end of a needle from the other”

Jaime just smiles fondly at his boyfriend before giving Jack a grin, 'So high' he mouths and Jack smiles back.

Vic cuddles with Alex while the rest of their San Diegan friends head back to their room to get changed and Jack absolutely prefers Vic like this, the way he's curled up next to Alex, head resting on Alex's chest and Jack very, very sneakily snaps a picture because Alex's face is just too cute as he watches Vic, strokes his hair.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alex doesn't wanr to leave. None of them do, that much is obvious as they all gather in the hotel lobby a while later, Vic changed into pajamas that judging by the way they're hanging off him aren't his own.

Alex looks miserable, staying huddled close between Vic and Tony and every so often a round of hugs breaks out and it's breaking Jack's heart because Alex is sad and he doesn't ever want Alex to be sad and if it was in any way possible or practical he'd demand they move to San Diego right this minute. Jaime seems like the kind of guy who's parents would be cool with surprise guests.

The parents Gaskarth start carrying their bags out to the car and Jack helps, grabs Alex's for him, lets Alex have his alone time with the guys.

He comes back just in time for a final blood sugar bet and this time Jack's not going to lose, even if he has to go against his boyfriend.

“Ten bucks on Tony” He says sheepishly, avoiding looking Alex in the eye.

Jaime laughs, and Alex swats at him.

“I can't believe you” Alex faux grumbles, “Just you wait till we get home”

“Ooh” Mike and Tony chorus.

It's a waste of money anyway because Vic comes away victorious though by a narrow margin on Alex, whose howl of disappointment is loud the lady at the front desk gives them a concerned look.

“I need Jack's phone number” Jaime demands of Alex. He sends Jack a sly wink, “I have a great body and more people need to see it”

Vic looks sweetly indignant, half-heartedly reaching up to smack his boyfriend in the back of the head.

“Aw” Tony coos, “Someone jealous”

Vic crosses his arms. “Trust me, there's nothing to be jealous about”

“Ow, my heart” Jaime says dramatically, “Cuts right to the bone”

“There's a bone involved alright” Mike stage-whispers and Jack bursts into a very unmanly giggle. Alex and Vic glare at him.

It gets very complicated very quickly, Alex handing his phone to Jaime who hands it to Vic who hands his phone to Jaime and Jaime's got Jack's phone as well and Mike and Tony are just watching on with ever patient smiles on their faces.

By the time Jack gets his phone back the parents Gaskarth are nearly ready to go and the mood returns to sad as soon as Isobel comes past with a folded piece of paper that can only be their offical check out. She catches his eye and gives him a small smile before her eyes flick to Alex who's been pulled into a Mike hug. God, this is going to fucking suck. Taking Alex from his friends is like taking candy from a really sad baby.

Jack gets another round of hugs too, even Vic stepping into his orbit for a split-second embrace though he says nothing. Jaime nearly crushes him again, Tony's soft and gentle and Mike tugs him away from the others, slips a piece of paper into Jack's back pocket.

“If you ever want to chat” He says, before Alex is wiggling his way between them.

“Mike” He whines loudly, “Don't leave me”

“Technically you're leaving us first” Jaime says diplomatically before he takes another turn with Alex as well, picking him up and feigning as if to carry him away. 

Jack says goodbye for a final time, grabs Alex's waist once Jaime puts him down and pulls him to him for a moment, he can see Isobel about to approach them, puts up two fingers. Just a little while longer.

“We gotta go” Jack says, wishing he didn't. “But i'll go sit in the car, see if I can dirstact your parents for a couple more minutes”

Alex kisses his cheeks, eyes suddenly shiny with tears before he nods and Jack waves at everyone, does his best to mimic the ridiculous wave the Queen of England does. She's a classy lady.

“Call me!” Jaime yells as he turns around, walks away.

Through the car window Jack can see that Alex is wrapped in Vic's arms or rather the other way around because Alex is doing one of those big cuddly hugs he must've learnt from Rian, Vic's head hardly visibly with the way Alex's head is bowed, their arms wound tightly around each other.

Honestly, Jack still doesn't really get it, doesn't know enough about Vic or his and Alex's history to truly understand but nothing can take away from the two of them being friends, of that he's sure.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alex is teary as they drive away but only lets out a few sniffles into Jack's shoulder before he turns to staring quietly out the window.

The airport lines are longer than Baltimore, louder than Baltimore and more inconvenient than Baltimore. It takes them nearly an hour to get to the gate and Alex's sad means that he's a tad grumpy, refusing to sit with them and pacing anxously back and forth, not caring if he's getting in people's way.

“He's always like this” Isobel informs him, “I know it's hard for him, saying goodbye to his friends like that but he'll be alright once we get home”

Jack hopes so.

The plane ride is long, Alex too tired and too upset to do more than cry quietly into Jack's shirt as they take off and staying curled up against him the whole way, refusing to come out from underneath his hoodie covering for anything, lets out a weird noise that might be a growl when Jack pokes his meter under the fabric to him and then some jellybabies after another noise. Only the purple and red ones though, Alex throws the other ones onto Jack's lap. Jack eats them, doesn't discriminate like that.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He's never been more happy to see his mom waiting for him as they come through the gates, surprisingly quickly this time and making sure Alex is okay is Jack's number one priority but it's his mom and missed her, has to let go of Alex and run as fast as he can towards her, dragging his carry on behind him and he very nearly knocks her over with the enthusiasm behind his hug.

“Oof” His mother says loudly, “Anyone would think it's been three week and not three days Jacko”

Jack pulls back, blushes. “Imissedyou” He mumbles, and his mother pats his cheek affectionately.

“I didn't miss you at all”

He doesn't get a chance to reply because Isobel appears then, Alex with her and Jack melds back against him as their moms get to chatting and Alex smiles tiredly at him.

“You missed your mom” Alex teases quietly, “It was like a bad movie”

They pick up their bags and exhaustion seems to set in as they make their way as a group towards the shuttle station and it's there they have to part ways, Jack's mom having braved the craziness of the only parking lot in walking distance. He wants to go with Alex or have Alex come with him so they can fall into bed and sleep forever.

Alex hugs him clumsily, ladybug bag banging against Jack's ankles as they sneak a kiss.

“Love you” Alex murmurs into his shoulder, voice worn and tired. “Thanks for coming with me”

“Love you too” Jack whispers back, “We can talk about how i'm leaving you for Jaime tomorrow, yeah?”

Alex snorts, pulls away and presses a final kiss to his cheek.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The second he steps through the front door Jack lets the last few days catch up with him. It's been fucking awesome there's no doubt about that but he's so fucking tired, physically and like, brain tired too. He's never really believed that was a thing but it totally is. His brain hurts.

There's no way in the world his mother would believe him and rightly so but he's actually tired of talking.

He's missed his bed too, the familiar lumps in his mattress and the softness of his blankets and he wastes no time giving his mother a goodnight hug and stumbling upstairs to strip down to his underwear, throw himself under the covers.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He doesn't talk to Alex for two days. Doesn't talk much at all really, says goodbye to his mom as she leaves for work if he's up otherwise he just lies around eating food and watching TV and trying not to think about having to go back to school next week.

He's like, recharging himself. Being him is totally very hard. Alex must be doing the same because he's not beating down the door and since neither is Rian Jack assumes everyone is fine and hey, he might summon the energy for Skype later. After another nap.

Later that night he replies to Alex's 'Are you dead?” text with a yes, of course and he feels mostly back to normal, pent up energy being put to work by his mother who makes him fold the laundry and do the dishes and dust stuff.


	125. Chapter 125

Jack manages to summon the energy he needs to make it to Alex's house the next day, arriving just after nine mostly because he's gotten tired of napping on his own and he misses his Alex cuddles.

There's no answer when he knocks and since there's no cars in the drive Jack figures everyone's gone to work and Alex is having an old fashioned sleep in. When the kids alone he sleeps almost soundly enough to rival Vic.

Vic. Jack hasn't heard from any of Alex's friends yet, hopes they've made it back home safely, that no one killed Jaime on the flight because it's substantially longer than theirs back to Baltimore. If Jack had to be stuck on a plane for long periods of time they'd probably eject him or something.

The good news is that Jack has recently become privy to some very important information courtesy of Zack, who he'd been texting about missing Alex and wishing they could teleport to each other – the Gaskarth's back door doesn't get locked if someone's home. He can literally sneak up on his boyfriend and cuddle him to death.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alex is most definitely still asleep as Jack hits every squeaky step on the way up to his room, pushing open the door and yup, Alex is snoring. The cutest little snores Jack's ever heard.

They're probably caused by the way Alex is slung sideways across his bed, top half under a bit of blanket and his legs bare and Jack puts the pieces together when he notices the bottle of insulin on the bedside table and new site stuff in a pile beside it. Alex must've gotten up and then decided he'd just close his eyes for second. Jack does the same thing. They're getting old now.

It makes for a very sweet picture, though it reminds Jack of what had happened at the beach. Fuck. He doesn't want to make something that clearly isn't an issue for Alex an issue for both of them but for some reason he just can't let it go. He knows Rian would tell him to talk to Alex and Rian is usually right.

He toes off his shoes and very carefully peels back the blankets enough that he can clamber in beside his boyfriend, nuzzles his nose into Alex's neck.

“Mmph” Alex stirs, just a little.

Jack nuzzles further, hand sliding up underneath Alex's shirt as he trails his mouth up towards his earlobe.

“Vic my love, is that you?” Alex slurs sleepily and Jack has to try very hard not to snort and spit all over Alex's face.

He digs his nails into Alex's soft stomach. “You take that back” He grumbles, nibbling at Alex's ear.

“You take that back right now”

Alex's eyes scrunch up before the open just a sliver to look at him, soft smile on his face as his hands find Jack's waist and pull him closer.

“Cuddle” His boyfriend sleepily demands, “And kiss me more”

It's a request that Jack won't ever refuse.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They end up making out slowly, long, gentle kisses as they lay side by side, arms and legs tangled into one person and Jack's kind of half-hard but he doesn't feel compelled to do anything about it, is content with keeping their touches nothing more than innocent.

He just wants Alex in all his entirely and get to have him all to himself without anyone interrupting them, something that had been lacking during their time in Florida.

Alex whines into his neck as he sighs almost sadly, starting to wiggle out of Jack's grip and Jack whines back but lets go.

“We go can right back to this” Alex says, “In just a minute” and that's all that Jack wants too but as Alex leans over the edge of the bed to gather the stuff they'd ended up kicking off in their attempts to find the perfect spot he just can't let it go.

“Lex?” A whole lot of Jack doesn't want to do this, no matter how badly the rest of him does.

Alex looks up from his unpackaging. “Yeah?”

“Can we talk?”

Something flashes across Alex's face, that same dark, deep-seated insecurity he'd had when they'd first met and it hurts to see it and Jack's quick to continue because this isn't a fucking break up talk and he probably should've opened with that.

“Not like that” He says quickly, “The beach, I know, I know that you keep saying it doesn't hurt you and maybe it really doesn't, but it hurt me when you pretended and I know it was a joke and I love you and it's fine, it's just-”

“Jack” Alex says softly and when Jack looks up from the floor Alex is looking at him with an almost wounded expression and that's exactly why he didn't want to do this, never wants to make Alex feel bad for anything.

“I never want you to feel bad and if I had known I wouldn't have done it, it was just a spur of the moment thing to lighten up my day you know,” He continues, and Jack appreciates that Alex is trying to understand his point of view even if maybe he thinks it's the most ridiculous thing ever, considering how much joking around they do between them.

“It's not a huge thing” Jack mumbles, “I just don't like it when you hurt, even if it's pretend”

Alex stay silent for a long time before he wiggles closer to where Jack's sitting, laces their fingers together.

“I've always said you can talk to me about anything and I meant that” Alex says slowly, leaning against his shoulder, the weight of it reassuring.

“But I don't know what to do to fix it” He continues, “Do, do you not want to see?”

Alex's voice sounds so small at the end and no no no, that's not what Jack wants at all. He wants Alex to share everything with him.

“No, god no Alex, that's not what I want shit, you know I don't think this kind of stuff through very well”

Alex's fingers tighten around his and Jack squeezes back.

There's silence for a little while, just the sound of them breathing and Jack can practically hear Alex's brain ticking over, wishes he was thinking something of his own. He just hopes he hasn't fucked something up, changed them somehow.

“Maybe” Alex volunteers after a few minutes, “Like, obviously me telling you it's fine isn't working, maybe you could uh, try it?”

Jack blinks. Of all the things Alex could've been thinking this wasn't even in his realm of possibilities. Could he? Should he? It's kind of a weird idea. This probably isn't how Rian would've suggested they do things, but fuck Rian. Alex can stick him and Jack can make his own judgement, they can laugh about how overdramatic he is and move on.

“Okay” Jack says hesitantly. “I mean, if you want to, I don't want to waste your stuff”

Jack hasn't seen anything to prove it but he's reasonably sure that Alex's stuff it pretty expensive and he sure as hell doesn't need it.

Alex looks surprisingly happy and maybe this'll be good for both of them.

“I have some old stuff, from a different pump I had that doesn't match but my mom insisted we keep for 'emergencies'” Alex says, with the appropriate air quotes and a small smile, which Jack returns.

“Okay” He says again, more confident this time. “Hit me”

Alex does his first, since he you know, actually needs to and Jack watches more intently than he usually does. He doesn't get asked to help this time.

It takes a good ten minutes of Alex throwing stuff out of the bottom of his cupboard and digging through cardboard boxes before he emerges triumphant.

'Here” He says, throwing a small box which Jack totally doesn't catch as it hits him square in the chest. Alex grins and Jack pouts.

Jack tries to pelt the box back at him but of course Alex catches it in quick fingers, smirk on his face.

“Nice try” Alex says, emptying the contents of the box onto his lap where's sat cross-legged on the floor, picking up what looks like an infusion set to Jack, if a little different from what Alex currently has, watches as Alex tugs at it experimentally, puzzled look on his face.

“Maybe it's eaiser if I just - ” Alex struggles a bit but manages to tear something off with his teeth like a proper manly man with man muscles. “Yeah, this'll be better, I think you can run like, saline through it instead of insulin but from what I remember that hurt like you wouldn't fucking believe and we're supposed to be doing the opposite, right?”

“Right” Jack confirms because if Alex is complaining about something hurting he'll probably cry. This is supposed to be a painfree experience, however unconvinced of that he currently is.

“Okay” Alex says eventually, tossing a pack of wet wipes at him. “Do you want to do it or do you want me to?”

Jack considers it for a moment and no, he's not that brave.

“You do it” He says. “I'm not even sure I want to watch”

Alex's expression softens. “Hey” He murmurs gently, “You know you don't have to do this, it was just an idea”

“I totally do” Jack replies, “Just be gentle, yeah?”

Alex leans over and presses a small kiss to the corner of his mouth. “You'll be fine” He assures, “Back when I first got diagnosed the in thing was to practice injections on oranges and one time my parents dropped me off at Rian's and instead I turned him into a pincushion while his parents thought we were playing in his treehouse and he's still alive and functioning almost normally”

Jack snickers. Little treehouse Rian and Alex is wonderful to imagine. He likes when Alex tells him little stories and considering their current situation it's good that he's still willing to share. Jack hasn't ruined anything, should never have worried he would. If his boyfriend wasn't about to stick him he would totally be down for problem-solved making out. Maybe afterwards.

He ends up sitting on the edge of the bed with Alex beside him, their knees pressed together and Alex is very carefully pulling the sticky backing off.

“It's not gonna snap in like mine does” Alex says quietly, “I have to push it so like, try not to move”

Jack's pretty much frozen at this point. He very suddenly has a huge appreciation for how someone as anxious as Alex manages to deal with this shit. Again, his own response would be a fuckton of crying.

He clenches his hands into the sheets, squeezes his eyes shut as Alex presses it against his skin.

“Relax” Alex murmurs, patting his knee, “I totally know what i'm doing”

Jack doesn't doubt that it's just - “Oh” He can't help the little sound that comes from his throat as he distinctly feels the needle pierce his skin and it doesn't hurt exactly – Alex was right, but it pinches uncomfortably for a moment and as Alex pokes around it with his fingers to set it in place he's hyperaware of it, hesitantly opens his eyes to see.

He meets Alex's face, who's looking up at him with a worried expression.

“Well it doesn't hurt ” Jack manages to get out of his suddenly dry mouth, “But it feels fucking weird”

Alex sort of smiles at him.”In five minutes you'll forget it's even there” He pauses, and then “You can take it straight off if you want, I think I proved my point since you're still alive”

Alex is right and Jack is wrong but it's the nicest kind of wrong, knowing that it doesn't hurt all the time and he's sure when he stops remembering to stare at it he'll forgot just ike Alex says. In sudden reptrospect he's absolutely a drama queen.

“I'm so fucking sorry” He mumbles, “For being such a drama queen”

Alex gets up comes to sit beside him again, swing his legs over Jack's lap and wrap his arms around his shoulder.

“It's okay” His boyfriend reassures, “This is probably the nicest kind of drama i've ever been involved in”

“Well this isn't exaclty when I though we'd be walking in on” A voice from Alex's doorway says, startling them both and Alex shrieks and Jack jumps so hard he nearly sends him sliding off his lap, heart racing and god forbid they ever get into real trouble because he's going to be useless, unable to move, Alex clinging to him with a death grip until they both manage to process their fright.

Rian's leaning casually against the doorframe, smirk on his face. Fuck, he'd said he get revenge on them one day for their closet jumping and Jack had totally forgotten about it, figured Rian had too.

“It's okay, they're not naked!” Rian calls down the hall and soon enough Zack's head pokes in cautiously, as if he's not convinced Rian's telling the truth.

“I hate you” Alex says with a pout, “Why are you in my house?”

Zack crosses the floor, grabs Alex from Jack's lap and judging by Alex's squeak, gives him a bonecrushing hug.

“Strange as it is,” Rian says, “We actually missed you idiots”

“Aww Rian” Jack coos, “I knew you'd come round”

Jack then remembers that his shirt is still rolled up and it's plainly obvious what him and Alex have been up to. He'd almost prefer if he'd been caught going down on Alex or something. Rian catches his eye, raises a quizzical eyebrow.

Jack's not sure what to say, but thankfully Alex saves him.

“I'm out” Alex announces, “I'm swapping places with Jack, he's going to be me”

Rian's eyebrow drops a little and Zack returns Alex to the ground.

“The suns gotten to you” Zack says, leaning over to pat Jack's head.

“That's lovely” Rian says in monotone, “Do you have stuff for grilled cheese?”

Rian deserves an award for being the most wonderful human beside Jack's mom and Alex that Jack knows. He's just so cool with everything, no matter how weird it must look.


	126. Chapter 126

Alex proves himself right again because Jack does forget it's even there, probably would've gone to bed with it still stuck to his skin if he hadn't leant back on his kitchen chair, stretched his arms out and pulled his shirt up enough for his mother to pause where she's finishing the her last few mouthfuls of pasta bake and give him a concerned look.

“Jack” She says slowly, “What on earth did you and Alex get up to?”

Of course his mother just assumes that Alex was involved, like Jack can't get into mayhem all by himself. He totally can, it's just more fun with two.

Jack's even less sure of how to explain it to her then he was to Rian. “Uh” He says, “Experimenting?”

She gives him another look that Jack presumes covers the fact that this kind of experimentation definitely didn't come up in the parenting books he knows she has in her room, all with wonderful titles like 'Your Teenager Decoded' and 'Raising Boys: The Comprehensive Guide'.

“I just wanted to know what it was like” He tries to elaborate, “Being like Alex and stuff”

He's bad at elaborating, okay.

His mother just gives him a weird sort of nod-shrug and Jack's grateful she's not going to push the issue. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The one thing that Alex had failed to mention was incredibly painful is trying to pull the gauze off his stomach, which is full of manly hair. It's excruciating and when he climbs out of the shower to call his boyfriend and complain Rian answers – apparently they're having a sleepover of their own – and laughs at him.

“Rian” Jack whines, “I don't want a weird naked spot”

Rian just keeps laughing and Jack can hear Alex in the background, also laughing.

“Am I on speaker you dicks I hate you both”

The two of them only laugh harder and it's a good five minutes before Alex stops giggling long enough to actually speak.

“It's getting warmer” Alex says seriously, “And it's never too early to start waxing your bikini body”

He bursts into laughter again and Jack hangs up on them.

He ends up spending another twenty minutes in the shower trying to soak it off with soap and ridiculously hot water, which does eventually work. When he gets out again there's a message from Alex waiting for him.

You can either bandaid it like a man or soak it off – they're supposed to last remember – Alex

Also if you end up with a bald spot I want pictures – Alex

Jack does not have a bald spot. Not much of one, anyway.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning Jack wakes up to a hammering on the front door and he groans, lifts his head and his pillow and hides under it. It's still far too early, he's sure his mother only just left for work.

The hammering doesn't stop though, no matter how much he tries to wish the person away.

“Jack, I know you're in there, open up! Jack!”

It's Alex, hollering so loudly that Jack should probably get up sooner rather than later before someone complains.

He picks a different swear word to grumble on each step as he goes, stomping across the floor and wrenching the door open, completely ready to slap a hand over Alex's mouth, drag him back upstairs and demand he lays the fuck down and shuts the fuck up.

Something in Alex's eyes immediately stops the rush of angry words leaving his throat though because fuck, Jack knows that look. Dark and mysterious with just a hint of mischievously horny. Alex's lips stretch into a slow smile and he's all dressed up, black skinny jeans and a bright blue hoodie, grey beanie perched so far back on his head Jack's not sure how he's getting it to stay there, hair perfectly coiffed.

Alex Gaskarth is up to something, Jack knows it.

“Good morning!” Alex chirps, stepping forward and wrapping long arms around his neck, nuzzling his nose against Jack's cheek.

“Mmph” Jack mumbles into Alex's hair, still not completely prepared to ditch the idea of being sleepy and grumpy.

“Charming as always” Alex says dryly, but his fingers are trailing their way down Jack's back and into his sweatpants and resting there and he just can't find the energy to complain. Alex is warm and cuddly and he as walks them both inside to close the door again gentle fingers pinch into his side.

“Hey now” Jack warns, “Don't start something you can't finish”

It's quite possibly a bit early for sexy things.

Alex kissing him however, demanding a place in Jack's month for his tongue is rapidly changing his mind. Maybe a little bit of sexy things.

They end up in his bedroom in a matter of minutes, Alex's beanie long lost and his hoodie somewhere on the stairs and Jack's awake enough now, half-hard and suddenly desperate, their Florida adventures seeming like far too long ago.

Alex must feel it too because he's uncontainable, hands and lips and tongue everywhere, stripping them both of their shirts in quick succession and practically dragging him to the bed even though Jack's more than willing.

“Missed me, huh?” He says breathlessly, tugging his pants off and letting Alex settle on top of him, plunder his mouth again.

Alex doesn't answer, just pinches at his nipples and when Jack whines Alex is reaching for his hands, linking their fingers together and guiding them down, down the back of his unbuttoned jeans, under the elastic of his underwear to the soft, warm skin of what Jack knows is a near perfect ass and down further still until holy fucking shit.

Jack looks up and Alex is smirking at him, eyes dark and tongue coming out to sweep across his lips.

He can't quite believe that Alex has gone this far, had sat in the car with his mother after having his fingers inside himself, a generous amount of lube to boot. Jack can't help but press the tip of his finger inside and Alex whines, smug expression turning a little more desperate.

“Jesus fuck Alex” Is all Jack can really say in this kind of situation. He's going to marry Alex Gaskarth, or at least he will if his dick doesn't spontaneously combust from how insanely hot this entire situation is.

“I'd prefer if you did” Alex says silkily, “But you know, i'm open to whatever kind of deity you want to have a threesome with”

Jack doesn't blush. “Shut up” He mumbles, wiggling his finger in a little bit further just to see Alex's eyes get even wider, “How the fuck are you so cute and dirty at the same time?”


	127. Chapter 127

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's still a couple things I wanted to happen in this fic and I found this bit of chapter to kick things off so uh hello again friends

Going back to school fucking sucks. Jack had quite happily forgotten how awful learning stuff is and pretty much the only good things are Alex and the fact that it's no longer ball-freezingly cold, just a mild touch of dick shrinkage to be had.

“I'm going to quit school and run away to join the circus” He announces dramatically during first break, throwing his arms around Alex's neck as his boyfriend tries to eat his sandwich. “You'll come with me Alex, right?”

“Mmph” Alex says thoughtfully.

“What would you even do at the circus?” Zack asks curiously and Alex makes a muffled yet distinctive snort before he's swallows.

“Don't encourage him” He whines, but Jack's imagination is already running wild with the possibilities.

“A dolphin trainer” He settles on, because that seems like the coolest thing that won't involve him getting mauled by a lion or crushed by an elephant or something.

“A dolphin trainer?” Rian echoes, “I don't think they have dolphins in the circus”

“Then i'll start my own circus” Jack says defensively, Rian's logic has no place interrupting his escape plans.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

Two lessons later and he's essentially gotten his circus dreams all organised. He's going to throw himself in front of the janitor, claim compensation and purchase like seven dolphins and a truck with a swimming pool attached.

The lesson after that, geography, makes Jack seriously consider packing his bags as soon as he gets home. They're going on a field trip. Not just any field trip, a mountain climbing study-as-you-climb-to-your-death field trip. Just because he knows what sediment is doesn't mean he wants to experience it in real life, not to mention the fact that he'll probably die. He's so unfit and clumsy that it's inevitable. Alex with have to go on without him.

“You'll have to finish the climb in my memory” He tells Alex solemnly, prompting an exasperated sigh from Rian who's sitting with Zack in the row behind them.

Alex just smiles sweetly at him. “Does that mean if the apocalypse starts while we're up there we have permission to eat you first?”

“I'm serious” Jack whines, “I'll probably get eaten by a cougar or something if I don't fall off a cliff first”

He's not sure if there's cougars in Baltimore, but whatever.

“There's no cougars in Baltimore and no real cliffs either” Rian says placidly before he leans forward to pat him on the shoulder. “It's not going to be that bad”

Rian would say that, with his manly muscles and football team stamina. Jack makes a mental note to check his bank account, see if he might have enough money to bribe either Rian or Zack to carry him.

Alex parts ways with them as they head to lunch, says something about needing to pick up some extra forms for their trip. Jack doesn't follow, has his mind fully on his lunch, which includes a very delicious slice of leftover homemade pizza from last night and he's not sharing with anyone. (He totally would if Alex asked)

Five minutes later and Alex returns with – and Jack is not kidding here, about ten sheets of paper, like they're going to Africa or something.

“Dude, what could you possibly need that many forms for?” 

Jack is aware that okay, maybe Alex would need an extra form for his parents to sign in case something happens but surely that kind of thing would only take up one or two pieces of paper. 

“The school is very invested in me not dying on their watch” Alex says with a wry grin, “So they're prepared for every single thing”

“Excursions with Alex are great” Zack says, “He can get us out of anything that really sucks”

Oh Alex wouldn't. Would he? Jack turns to look questioningly at him, and Alex winks at him. 

“You cheater” Jack says in as shocked voice as he can possibly manage, “My boyfriend, the cheater”

“Shut your mouth” Alex retorts, “You're the one who's complaining he's going to die and probably thinking about pretending to be sick or paying someone to carry you”

Alex has a point.

“You have a point” Jack concedes.

“Besides” Alex continues, “It's actually pretty nice up there”

Jack'll be sure to take a moment to appreciate the scenery before he gets eaten.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Adding to the horrifying news about their field trip is the stupid amount of homework they've already got. Personally, Jack would prefer not to know about assignments until at least the month they're due in, he doesn't have time to worry about months into the future.

His mom's on his back too, sweet smile but stern eyes as she tells him he really needs to improve a few of his grades, start taking his work a little bit more seriously and Jack just nods, hopes that he can trade his math skills for Alex helping him with English. She's also far too enthusiastic about the field trip, insisting that they go shopping to buy him a more wilderness appropriate backpack to carry his water and lunch in, picking out a shade of dark green against his complaints that the bright yellow would be better for the search and rescue team to find his mangled body.

“It's one day not a week in the desert” She says, completely uncaring, “Anyway, i'm sure Alex won't let you fall to your death


	128. Chapter 128

When his mother drops him off a little before eight most of their class is already there, Rian and Zack wearing stupid matching Orioles caps and looking like majestic mountain men with their backpacks and cargo shorts paired with ridiculous socks. 

“Where's Alex” Jack demands, because if he has to be up this early for exercise he wants an Alex hug and he wants one right now.

“Getting a safety lecture, I wouldn't interrupt” Rian says, pointing to the right and sure enough there's Alex sandwiched between three teachers and even from here Jack can see he's doing his very best 'pretending to listen but not actually giving a fuck' impression, nodding at the appropriate times and everything.

They're nearly adults so Jack thinks that they should trust Alex enough by now to take care of himself or at least trust Rian, who's on the most trustworthy and organised person in the entire world.

“I wanted a hug” He says mournfully and Zack takes pity on him, pulls him into a one-armed cuddle. It's good but not quite the same as an Alex one.

They're waiting in line to board the bus when Alex is finally allowed to return to them and Jack gets his hug, Alex huffing into his neck. 

“Everybody goes on this fucking trip every fucking year fuck me” 

It's safe to say Alex isn't in the best mood so Jack tries to be diplomatic.

“It's going to be the best year because i'm here” He tries, “”Right Rian?”

Rian's eyes narrow. “I'm going to say no because now me and Zack will have to drag both of you”

He's probably right.

The bus trip itself is boring and it's still early enough that if everyone would shut the hell up Jack could probably fit in a nap but as it is he settles for kicking the back of Zack and Rian's chair, which they both determinedly ignore.

It takes a while for everyone to get their backpacks out of the trailer and Alex has the best one, brand new with cartoon sharks all over it.

“I told mom I wasn't taking the kitchen sink if I didn't get a new bag to carry it in” Alex says proudly, slinging it over his shoulders, “Totally worked”

Thankfully this year Alex has managed to get out of having a teacher walk with them, something that sounds so awkward Jack winces even thinking about it and they decide to try and keep in the middle of the group, not too fast like all the athletic dudes (which Jack isn't at all) and not dawdling like the whiny, bitchy girls at the back (which Jack can sometimes be)

The first bit is okay, they're climbing but the trail isn't too sloped and it's wide and well worn, easy enough to walk between Alex and Zack who are talking over him about some kind of sport Matt's involved in but he's not really paying attention because he's totally embracing nature. The sky is clear, the birds are singing and it's going to be a nice climb to the top to fill out their stupid reports.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------

What feels like years later but is in fact, as Alex cheerfully tells him, only been half an hour Jack's fucking exhausted. They've had to go single file and the path is steep and rocky and he's so, so unfit. Even the bitchy whiny girls have gone in front of them, the last supervising teacher occasionally pausing to make sure they catch up enough that he won't be liable if they get dragged off by wolves or something.

Zack and Rian have gone ahead too, the barely-broken-a-sweat-motherfuckers that they are. Alex's fringe is just getting damp and he's panting along with Jack but Jack's not super invested in Alex right now, is way more concerned with that fact that he might actually be going to die. 

He stops for his third water break in as many minutes, curses his body for sucking so much. Maybe he'll take up football, try and be some kind, any kind of fit.

Alex tries to tug him along, both of them laughing as they try to outpace the other even at the glacial speed they're going and around the next corner Rian and Zack are waiting in a shady spot for them.

“Carry me” Jack whines, “My body wasn't designed for the this”

Rian flips him off before pulling a pack of Skittles from his pocket and waves them in his direction. 

“Need some motivation?” He asks smugly and Jack flips him off right back. He is not a dog that's going to do stuff for treats. He has his own treats, a Kitkat and pb&j sandwich. Alex brightens considerably though, holding out his hand and Rian tears open the packet with his teeth and shakes a few out into Alex's palm.

Jack's not that proud, finds himself making grabby hands for the Skittles too but Rian shakes his head and retracts the packet.

“Every time you catch up you can have some” He says and that is so not fair. 

“But Alex gets one now” He grumbles, looking over at his boyfriend to you know, defend his honor but Alex just shrugs and sucks them up into his mouth, crunching them into a multicoloured blob on his tongue before swallowing. 

“Some of us” Alex says smugly, tongue still reddish purple colour, “Actually need them” and oh, Alex wouldn't play that card.

“Zack, make your boyfriend stop being such a dick” Jack continues to complain, “This is so unfair”

Zack shrugs, face stoic and uncaring and Jack thinks about him in the shins but doesn't because then he'll never get a Skittle. 

Zack and Rian don't make it easy either, walking faster than they regularly would but their plan is absolutely working, Jack even manages to stay ahead of Alex because statistically he's going to get more skittles that way. 

The top of the mountain presents them with an admittedly very nice view and a terribly long worksheet. Luckily Alex has brought about ten extra pens because Jack's is nowhere to be seen, eaten by some crevice in his backpack.

It's not that bad – they break for lunch and it's not complicated work, a teacher Jack's only ever passed in the hallways once or twice explains that it's more about making them ecologically aware of their regional environment and that's great but they could've done it with a lot less exercise involved. 

Everyone is less enthusiastic about the trip back down. Alex complains that his legs hurt and when Jack gets up after sitting for a good half hour he finds he's old man crippled too, muscles protesting all the effort he had to put in to get up there.

“Tell me” He groans, linking hands with Alex and both of them trying to stretch the other out while Rian openly laughs. “Tell me you've got more bribes because we're going to need them”

“It's literally all downhill from here” Rian says cheerfully, “Isn't going home reward enough?”


End file.
